Dilemma
far worse than Al's

a mate bought me a St. George's cross sweatband from Tesco for a miniscule amount of money. Should I wear it to play a gig tonight?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:33, 42 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Are you playing while the football is on?
Either way, no.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:35, Reply)

that was pretty much my thought pattern
I doubt she'll be offended.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:36, Reply)

tell her you're wearing it somewhere else
and wink. She'll think you're joking. It's up to you whether you are or not
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:43, Reply)

that would be crude

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:44, Reply)

sorry
I channelled Kristine for a minute
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:47, Reply)

I'd "channel" Kristine
channel
n.
-A trench, furrow, or groove.

rut
n.
-A sunken track or groove
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:56, Reply)

now that's crude

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:57, Reply)

;-)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:58, Reply)

christ

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:01, Reply)

No

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:35, Reply)

No
The local folk might take offence, believing England to be a separate country, shrouded in mist on their local maps and marked with the legend "Here Be Dragons and Five-Fingered Outbreeders"
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:38, Reply)

it's ok
most of the audience will be braying idiots with popped collars called Rupert who come from Guildford
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:41, Reply)

Oh.
Oh.
Oh god.
Not the fucking Ruperts. They'll fucking love the sweatband...and we don't want to please Ruperts. It's imperative that you change it for an Algerian one. Or, if you're feeling very brave, a French one.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:42, Reply)

I come from Guildford
:(
( Kroney, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:03, Reply)

And me
Isn't vipros nasty (and smug)
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:57, Reply)

Depends if you want to be raped with your own guitar
Your choice bub
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:38, Reply)

Not unless you have joined Dire Straits...
...or have turned into a total and utter cunt.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:38, Reply)

shit
I have done both of those....

it's not a headband btw
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:39, Reply)

you're making excuses to wear it because you secretly want to because you're a massive fucking geek
why aren't you out LARPing anyway?
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:41, Reply)

well, it's either that one
a grey oakley one, or a white one with the GB Ultimate Frisbee team logo on it

why would I be out LARPing?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:42, Reply)

because that's what the cool kids do
...perhaps?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:04, Reply)

I'm implying he is a massive fucking geek because massive fucking sweaty geeks wear wristbands and go LARPing

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:07, Reply)

I've never seen a larper in a wristband

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:21, Reply)

I've never seen a larper in the wild...

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:36, Reply)

they are often seen in
leather trousers, big boots and a vaguely medieval looking shirt. If unsure, a 30 second conversation will confirm the matter
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:55, Reply)

I say wear it.
Play the gig, drink 10 pints, and then smash the place up. It's what Our Boys (TM) home and abroad would expect.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:46, Reply)

This is completed unrelated but I thought it was funny
I saw an advert in a magazine yesterday for Twilight dildos. You could choose between a darker 'werewolf' one and a really pale 'vampire' one.

The vampire one sparkled. I laughed out loud on the train.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Were you reading Bizarre magazine?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:51, Reply)

maybe
*shifty eyes*

That's not the point.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:53, Reply)

I now need to go buy that issue

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:54, Reply)

I also bought Grand Designs magazine
now that's my real porn.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:00, Reply)

would either of you two
like to buy issues 9-136 off of me?
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:04, Reply)

Put them on eBay, someone would want them

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:15, Reply)

I'm allergic to Ebay
and prefer to get rid of them in one hit than dribs and drabs

Oh well, looks like a carboot to clear out a load of old stuff
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:30, Reply)

Wrong on so many levels:
see more Epic Fails
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:59, Reply)

I saw that a while ago
someone made a joke about it looking better if the girl is on. EWWW
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Saw these before
But still, OH MY GOD. Just...wrong.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:01, Reply)

eugh!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:34, Reply)

is there much of a market for
novelty dildos? Perhaps they should make them themed on various celebrities and characters - I suspect BGB would want a Jeff Bridges one - anyone else got a preference?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:36, Reply)

ALEXANDER SKARSGARD!
*dies*
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:03, Reply)

*googles*
he has a funny neck
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:05, Reply)

utterly lickable

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:07, Reply)