Morning all
I had a nice, relaxing weekend of gaming, although I can't help but feel like I ought to have done something adventurous.

Did anyone get up to anything awesome?
Alt Q: If you won enough money to quit your current job, how would you go about resigning? Calm and professional, a blaze of f-bomb-droppin', double-deuce-wavin' glory, or somewhere in between?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 8:19, 54 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning
Nothing particularly awesome at the weekend for me.

If I won the lottery, I'd go and wave the cheque (or a copy of it, after I'd cashed the real one) under the noses of HR. Then laugh at them.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 8:21, Reply)

If I'd won it just before Christmas,
I'd have bought my company purely to then sack someone. As it stands, they've gone, so I'd be polite and courteous and give constructive feedback in my exit interview ("Moral is so bad that I meticulously planned an extravagant suicide in the office, the one aim being to maximise the personal distress of my superiors").
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 8:27, Reply)

You could go and get one of those huge charity cheques and walk around with that.
Or twat people over the head with it. All accidental like.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 8:42, Reply)

Now there's an idea
So, just on the 14 million - 1 chance that it happens, I think I'll get one of those cheques ready for the numbers to be written on!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 8:45, Reply)

Sorted,
Glad to be of service. If you want a faux photographer to follow you round taking naff pictures all day to record your good fortune, I'm your man.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 8:48, Reply)

I pretty much done just that
I've been living with the folks recently and although I'm on a decent wage, I've never enjoyed this job.

So for about 2 years I've been saving money with various levels of success. Got a tidy sum kept away for if things got really desperate and I could tell the boss to shove the fucking job up his arse.

But that never happened so I've been quietly stewing away for months. So the other week I took a look at myself and thought - same job for 3 years, still living with folks, for fuck sake your 26 in October man get a grip of yourself.

Had a meeting with my manager who in her complacency probably thought I was going to speak about holidays or some such shite, and then BOOM - I came out with I'm putting in my notice.

I don't have a job lined up but my options are open - travel, relocate to a new city - the job hunt is European wide and I'll take anything!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 8:45, Reply)

What are you qualified to do?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:17, Reply)

I do cringe a bit saying it
but I have a degree in Marketing. Which qualifies me to work with arseholes, althoguh I can get away with doing admin-type officey roles if I lower my salary expectations a bit.

Long term though I'm wanting to open a business. Putting together a business plan and in the next few months will start meeting a few people for advice - local business links, the bank manager, business owners I know, etc..

It's part pipe dream part very possible.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 10:12, Reply)

There is only one way to hand in your notice for a job you know will not be going back to.
Take a huge dump on the bosses chair.

This will remove the need for the embarassing conversations where the boss has to ask you to stay for a pitance more money.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 8:45, Reply)

Tempting, though I'd rather take a dump in the MD's new convertible
He has six luxury cars (that I know of). One year he announced that we'd had our best ever year, turned record profits, and gave everyone (about 60 of us back then) a truly pitiful payrise (0.5-1% in most cases). No bonuses, despite us all working 12 hour days for months.
Next day he drove in in a brand new, top-spec Merc SLK 55AMG...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 8:53, Reply)

What an ungrateful twat he must be
He may be the boss, but he doesn't do all of the work. Surely some reward further down the food chain wouldn't be too much to ask.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 8:55, Reply)

Sadly it is too much to ask
It took many months of arguments (and people leaving) before we got paid more than your average shop assistant. Now we get 'competitive' pay (although in a pay competition we'd lose embarrassingly), but no bonuses or benefits.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 8:59, Reply)

What a cunt
I can easily access some acid, if you'd like something other than piss to throw on it?
(berk, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 8:55, Reply)

That'd be great, cheers!
Something that'd etch a gargantuan CDC in the bonnet.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:00, Reply)

Iron filings
are the best. Simply sprinkle them on in the evening as the dampness falls and you'd have a nice rusty CDC on the bonnet come morning time. Very difficult to remove, I believe.

Not that I condone vandalism, mind you.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Think I read that in a QOTW ages ago
It is definitely stored in mind ;)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:06, Reply)

You'd need to get some chums to help you, and it would cost you a curry.
But dumping in all his cars would be the correct procedure.

I'd chip in if you like.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 8:59, Reply)

I like this idea
Sadly some of his cars are in storage (he has that many...). Also, his son (who also 'works' for the company) is a spoilt brat too, so we need to shit in his cars as well.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:01, Reply)

DUMP LEAGUE ASSEMBLE!

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 10:12, Reply)

I went to
a free festival in Coventry and got sunburnt on one side of my body. I look pretty damn silly this morning. I probably wouldn't quit my job if I won the lottery as I'm on a contract, but I probably wouldn't get another job after this one finishes, either.
(berk, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 8:54, Reply)

Which side?
Many years ago, my sister's friend fell asleep on the sun lounger on holiday, and ended up with a perfect tan line running down her body like a moulding seam.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 8:56, Reply)

Right side
serves me right for falling asleep really. A mate of mine once fell asleep on a sun lounger with a book on her stomach, leaving a lovely white square in an ocean of pink. I have to admit, I laughed quite a lot...
(berk, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:00, Reply)

Haha nice!
Ought to put sunbathers on some sort of rotating device, to even out their tan... Not sure I'd be up for spit-roasting some of the people I saw enjoying the sun this weekend though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:03, Reply)

I wouldn't quit right away.
Mainly because if I won the lottery I wouldn't tell anyone. I once pretended I had and got phone calls from long lost friends wanting to catch up.
( Peej, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 8:56, Reply)

Yep, I wouldn't tell anyone either
Apart from direct family. Not worth the hassle.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:04, Reply)

I wouldn't tell direct family
I'd let them know that I had come in to some money and that I wanted to help them out, but I would never tell them how much. It's all inconsequential really as I don't play the lottery.
( Peej, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:57, Reply)

how would you explain the absurd collection of new guitars
stuffed in the passenger seat of your Lamborghini?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Found a Lamborghini in the street
with loads of guitars in it, handed it in to the police and no-one claimed it so after 3 months I got to keep it.
( Peej, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:25, Reply)

I like it
I'll use that if I win the lottery
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I had a house party and then watched Independance day yesterday.
It's still a good film.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:02, Reply)

Sadly
I really like the bit where the old guy sacrifices himself.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:03, Reply)

"hello boy's, I'm back"

(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Was that your favourite quote from Friday night on the common?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:15, Reply)

Nah, it's jingoistic bollocks.
Saw it once on release and vowed never again. And i'm normally a sucker for mindless popcorn flicks.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Had the wedding rehersal, it was terrifying
I like the people I work with (I know shock horror) so would quit calmly and work my notice and have some drinks in the pub.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:14, Reply)

I plasterboarded half a ceiling,
bust a hole in some concrete, watched Hot Tub Time Machine.

I'd probably resign in a calm and professional manner. Then I'd go straight to the Porsche garage.

Your sig: Tool?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:15, Reply)

Yes my sig is Tool, one of my favourite songs
Sounds like you had a productive weekend!
I would be polite and calm, but would refuse to work my notice.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:21, Reply)

working the notice bit would be a shitter
I'd try and avoid that.

was struggling to remember which song as I forget the names a lot of the time and I just found this www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/f20/spiral-out-keep-going-tool-lateralus-hidden-messages-within-music-albums-66034/

which is quite interesting
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Wow...
I knew about the Fib sequence in Lateralus, but didn't know about the re-ordering of the songs. I'm going to listen to the album in that order now.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:41, Reply)

I'll have to wait till I'm at home
I had no idea about any of it.

it reaffirms that they are the fucking business though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Indeed they are!
And tonight I shall go home and play Guitar Hero: World Tour. Drums, specifically, for Vicarious, Parabola and Schism.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:52, Reply)

sounds like a good plan
I'll go home, sort out a playlist of the tracks in the appropriate order, fire up a cannon and contemplate things in a darkened room.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:55, Reply)

I don't have a job
but I'd still like to fantasise about winning the lottery.

I've had a boring weekend, ate out both nights and it's actually been quite hard to get accustomed to full meals again
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:29, Reply)

do you normally eat small meals rather then big ones or something?
Also - I'm in the same position, I don't have a job, but still fantasise about winning the lottery :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Announce it on facebook
Then shoot someone.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:52, Reply)

I played some online poker
in one hand I had pocket aces on the button and THREE players went all in ahead of me. /jargon

I LOL'd
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Think I follow that
So you cleaned them out?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I did win the hand
knocked out two and crippled the third and had nearly four times as many chips as everyone else. It was only a 9 player tournament so I wrapped it up pretty quickly after that. Won about £80.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 10:28, Reply)

did you win?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Had a rather eventful weekend for a change
Ms Crow got her degree result on Friday, which was rather exciting. Spent Saturday at a small outdoor music event surrounded by ecologists. Sunday I was able to catch up with a friend who'd come down from Bradford for what seems to be her annual visit these days (during which time I learnt that one of those friends-I've-not-bothered-keeping-in-touch-'cause-he's-a-bit-odd is getting married, which was alrming) and made it up to Fulham in the evening to see Lianne Carroll at the 606. She and her band were nothing short of fuckin' awesome and I think if I had a uterus, I'd be offering to bear the bassist's children.

As for the alt Q, I think I'd leave a little note on my desk and stop turning up, then see how long it would take for my supervisor to notice.

I might also take a blowtorch to the inside of my work computer as the little bastard seems to be getting slower and slower every day. (Seriously, it's taken me 15 minutes to post this reply.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 10:17, Reply)

I make a big fort out of cardboard boxes
and from inside my fort I would fire cardboard cannonballs at management until they asked me to leave when I would scream "You'll never take me alive" burn the cardboard fort and run out the door
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 10:23, Reply)

You should do this anyway

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Fun but tiring weekend
the bf met the parents and they all seemed to get on like a house on fire. Mainly because we we talked AT him for five-and-a-half hours, whilst filling him with cake and lager.

Went to the Liverpool FC fans protest rally thing. We mainly went along to see John Power from Cast do a set, but I got right into it. There is now crowd footage of me singing The Fields of Anfield Road, You'll Never Walk Alone and Ell eye vee, ee are pee, double-O ell, Liverpool FC.
I am an Evertonian.

I would not work my notice. I would tell them I'm about to have a nervous breakdown and need to fuck off straight away before I stab someone. Then I'd LEG IT.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:27, Reply)

The weekend was...entertaining
- I forgot how cheap it is to get hammered in Manchester
- I forgot how easy it is to get hammered
- I discovered that with a little bit of coaxing I can down drinks
- I remembered how much I love my home friends, and even though I live in the same city at home and uni I don't see them that much
- My new mantra is "This is not going to end well". And it didn't.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:34, Reply)