Summer job is killing me B3tans
Apart from this wonderful site, what else can I do to distract myself from my crappy summer job. I love being a student, I hate working in the summer!!!! especially in an office with 3 other people, 2 of which are the owners, and the other one is actually adrian mole but not as funny. Is it too much for 1 like minded person??

Work avoidance tips please my friends!!!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:02, 71 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Your crappy job will end in a few months
mine will never end, so you'll excuse me if I say nowt.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:03, Reply)

It'll end when you're fired or die.
So chin up.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:12, Reply)

This motivational gem was brought to you by PsychoChomp Industries
pushing people closer to the edge for 4 years, 1 month and 17 days...
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:21, Reply)

I'm here to help.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:27, Reply)

There ain't no cure for the summertime blues.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:17, Reply)

*plays harmonica*

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:17, Reply)

I hate that fucking song

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Ok - all together -
I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony.
Grow, etc.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:23, Reply)

I don't think you are going to convince anyone that I'm a hippy

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:25, Reply)

Right on.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:28, Reply)

Exactly.
How was the Eden Project and the new marijuana?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:11, Reply)

Word is -
What in the world ever became of sweet Jane? She lost her sparkle, you know she isn't the same. Livin' on reds, vitamin C, and cocaine
All a friend can say is, "Ain't it a shame?"
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:17, Reply)

Dreadful song.
Dreadful band.
Fucking hippies.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:21, Reply)

Quite so.
I see Vips "my hippy-like traits are smoking a load of pot and wearing flares" is refusing to rise to any bait.
Probably stoned.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Or sewing a patch on his 'loon's.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:32, Reply)

I'm at work*
so not stoned




*note: hippies don't have jobs
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:38, Reply)

Eden was nice as always
Mumford and Sons were good, if a little too much like the studio recordings. I was hoping for something more.

The Doves were average. I don't know their stuff really anyway, and it's not my cup of tea. Main issue was that the sound was shit. No way near loud enough, and badly mixed to be frank.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Go to your boss, tell him/her you don't like your job and don't want to do it anymore.
Goal achieved.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:20, Reply)

MTFU
It's just a summer job, you'll be back at uni soon, which you should take every opportunity to savour as life takes a sharp decline afterwards.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Get used to it
Once you're out of university, you'll be working through the summer for the rest of your bloody life. Except if you're a teacher, then you'll be working from home during the summer for the rest of your life.
( Kroney, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:23, Reply)

Yup i'm gonna be a teacher! screw working in the summer!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 11:25, Reply)

What I wouldn't give to work with Adrian Mole.
You're an ungrateful shit you are.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:25, Reply)

Don't get me wrong Adrian Mole would be ideal, this guy just looks like him. I can't get anything out of him unless it's about computers.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I hate students who moan about work.
I've been chained to an oar in this galley, with limited internet rights, for 35 years. MTFU, what did you think life was going to be like?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:31, Reply)

You'll end up working a series of dull uninspiring jobs with people that you have nothing or little common with before you retire on a pittance and die alone.
LIFE IS GREAT!
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Knock Knock !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:43, Reply)

Go on then ...

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Go on then who?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:50, Reply)

Oh ffs!

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:56, Reply)

that's not a very good joke :(

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)

My speciality.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:15, Reply)

Who's there?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:50, Reply)

Shelby

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:54, Reply)

Shelby who?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:56, Reply)

Shelby comin' 'round the mountain when she comes

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:57, Reply)

She'll be coming 'round the mountains when she comes !
I didn't really know where I was going with this, so I just googled "World's best knock knock joke" and chose the first result.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Thames Valley Police
You're nicked, Rapey.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Honey trap!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:56, Reply)

Is that what you call your vagina?
On account of the sticky-sweet residue and the backwards-facing barbs?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:02, Reply)

Nope
I call that my penis fly-trap
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:03, Reply)

For some reason I have "Hotel California" in my head
"You can check-out any time you like
But you can never leave."
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)

Warm smell of Coitus hanging in the air.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:12, Reply)

Ssshh, he doesn't know yet

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:13, Reply)

*CLICKS*
Bwawawa! OfficeLOL..
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Buddha

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:00, Reply)

Buddha who?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Buddha this bread for me


And-
"Tad"
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)

Tad?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:12, Reply)

Tad old black magic got me in it's spell.
(betcha you're singing that now)
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:13, Reply)

I am
But not because your joke was any good, right!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Unnerstood

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:20, Reply)

Europe.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:13, Reply)

so are you.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Larry. You total fucker.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:15, Reply)

So kind.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Who likes a partial fucker?
No one. That's who.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:22, Reply)

You're lucky to have a job
MTFUYC - you've only got 40ish years of work ahead of you. Get on with it you workshy idler.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Work is about shirking responsibility
it's about doing as little as possible. And what you do do, make sure if it's not correct that someone else can take the fall.

In your day to day life try to subtly undermime those around you, creating an atmosphere that you're a lone do-gooder, battling against universal stupidity.

When you're asked to do something, make sure you make everybody know just how time consuming and difficult a task it is. Great techniques to master is the exasperated sigh, the head in hands, the "get angry because things are too much" and the ability to convince people that you've gone above and beyond your station.

The golden rule is to suck the arsehole out of those above you, and criticise those below you.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:50, Reply)

I've been a good girl today and done loads of work.
I am now free to chew the fat.


So wat appening?
( girlinthehole, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:00, Reply)

Vipros admits Hippy Charge, saying
But I would not feel so all alone, everybody must get stoned.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)

He's all about the ganja.

( girlinthehole, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Vipros is a hippy?
Sad times indeed
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:08, Reply)

Indeed, And I quote
Dope will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no dope.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:09, Reply)

I think your best option
is to get made redundant, but not admit it and continue leaving the house every morning, dressed for work, in your car, until one day you're caught in traffic and you just can't take it any more and you abandon the car in the middle of the road and then some guy in a shop won't give you change and you just snap and your day becomes a spiralling maelstrom of rage and violence when all you wanted to do was to go to your daughter's birthday party.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Great film!

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Yessums indeed.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Awesome movie

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:06, Reply)

The Full Monty?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:11, Reply)

Schindler's List?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:14, Reply)

The Bridges of Madison County, actually.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

It could have been so much better if you'd just changed the position of one word "Me summer job is killing B3tans"
Think how much more stimulating that would have been.
(Cave Duck, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:19, Reply)