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(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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100! 100! A new one, quick
Talk about which things you do to make other b3tans happy. Go!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:23, 130 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

lots of tromboning

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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:24, Reply)

*applauds*

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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:26, Reply)

I like that

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:28, Reply)

So you've tromboned as well?
You ladies should form a group, or something.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:28, Reply)

a (br)ass band

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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:29, Reply)

*thumbs up*

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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:29, Reply)

that's a whole other ball game

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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:30, Reply)

Not had that either
I firmly believe, having read a lot of Texts From Last Night, that English women are a lot less promiscuous than American women, and thus I should have gone to uni in the States.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:31, Reply)

also, if what I am told is true
they dig an english accent.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:32, Reply)

I've no idea about english girls but americans are very promiscuous
and you're definitely right about the accent thing
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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)

in my experience english girls are not promiscuous enough

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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:36, Reply)

AMEN

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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:37, Reply)

too funny
nobody settles down here until they're knocked up...and then sometimes that doesn't even matter.
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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Damn right they do!
Last time I went there for a training course, I was invited out for drinks with some FINE waitresses one evening. I didn't go as I was jetlagged and also happily in a relationship at the time.

Two weeks after I got back home, that relationship ended...
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:35, Reply)

if I ever become single I'm going to america

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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:35, Reply)

I'll go too
We'll work different coasts.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:38, Reply)

ain't no party like an east coast party

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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:38, Reply)

I'm not even joking
Texts From Last Night seriously makes me want to move to the US.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:40, Reply)

I'm not joking either.
We're all drunken sluts.
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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:41, Reply)

See, this is why I was a late bloomer
Stratford-upon-Avon has a distinct lack of drunken sluts.
It's not that I was an androgynous goth kid, noooo
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Devon is the same
and it in no way had anything to do with being being a fatty, long-haired metaller
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:47, Reply)

oh, I was too
*pats shoulder*
now look at me! I'm tromboning my way through life.
*sobs*
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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:48, Reply)

I reckon we'd get on better as a duo
with your hair, my beard and both our accents we'd have them frothing at the gash all over the place.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Oh man,
We'd cut a swathe of destruction through that country!
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:40, Reply)

I'm going to Canada.
I like a man in a check shirt.
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girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:39, Reply)

I've been rockin' the check shirt recently
it's a good look
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:40, Reply)

I've refused to
Because all the teens and indie/emo kids wear them. Plus I prefer pinstripe.
Applebite says she goes for guys in check shirts...
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:41, Reply)

I don't think I'd ever get mistaken for one of them

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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:47, Reply)

I'd only get mistaken for one of them
ONCE
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:48, Reply)

I've been wearing check shirts since before emo was invented
_{Possibly not true, though I have been wearing them for quite a few years now.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:10, Reply)

They make me look like a massive lesbian
This saddens me.
(berk, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:17, Reply)

Haha, yes it did occur to me
That with my lumberjack shirts, jeans and walking boots, I basically dress like a lesbian.

(But that's got to be better than looking like one of those twatty indie/emo types)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:19, Reply)

You forgot to mention
your flowing feminine locks. I don't know, dressing like an indie kid isn't the worst crime ever, but if you haven't grown out of it by the time you leave uni then you're a cock, end of story.
(berk, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:23, Reply)

They probably count against the lesbian look
In my experience, the lesbians who wear lumberjack shirts tend to be the more 'masculine' one out of a lesbian couple and crop their hair. (I first observed this when a friend came out of the closet and started to dress like me...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:30, Reply)

they're pretty popular now, so, you can find a man in a check shirt anywhere in north america
maybe not now that it's hot as hades, probably later in the year tho
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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:41, Reply)

They've got to have that whole lumberjack thing going on.

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girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:42, Reply)

Like Jake in 16 Candles?
Man, he was hawt.
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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:44, Reply)

what other lumberjack attributes do you look for?

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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:46, Reply)

I've chopped down a big tree with an axe
And I wear suspenders and a bra
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:48, Reply)

do you wish you were a girlie?
just like your dear papa
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:57, Reply)

Just someone who looks like they could chop down a tree and build a log cabin and be back home for dinner that day.

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girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:49, Reply)

I reckon I look like that
blatantly couldn't do it, but I at least look the part and know how to build a house that won't fall down.

not that I'm trying to sell myself to you or anything.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Hehe!

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girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:54, Reply)

Existing
*winks*
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:25, Reply)

A lot of us give Monty good advice about his problems with his ex
(but then we remind him of a dark terrible secret that has driven him to drugs)
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:26, Reply)

I figured out what it was this morning
his real name is Pandora, and he opened his box
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Ha!
I did wonder if his name was Eve and he had eaten a certain fruit
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:31, Reply)

Sometimes I stay away from B3ta for an hour or two.

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girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:27, Reply)

That was going to be my answer

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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:28, Reply)

I find that abscence makes the heart grow fonder.

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girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:29, Reply)

the absence of a heart makes me grow longer

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Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:49, Reply)

I promised Lab
some cake at the next bash. It'd better make him happy...
(berk, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Ohh yes you did!
I bet it'll make me happy, although that's tainted now with the fear of what you'd do to me if it didn't.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:30, Reply)

*looks menacing*

(berk, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:35, Reply)

I'm sure I'll love the cake!
please don't kill me
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:36, Reply)

Calm down dear
It's only cake. Although of course, I've never had any complaints...
(berk, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:37, Reply)

Normal cake though, aye?
Om nom nom!
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Of course
'special' cake is only available on request, and I don't think it's funny to give it to people who aren't expecting it.
(berk, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Bless your heart
You're one of my favourite new-b3tans-what-I-have-met.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:47, Reply)

Aww, cheers!

(berk, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:56, Reply)

I have a badge for related-incident and Roota.
It's not very good, but I did my best.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Aww, that's sweet!
I made Kitty two pics, but she only displays one :(
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)

you made me a pic, but wouldn't let me display it :-(

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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)

Because it's fucking creepy!
It might as well have been a pic of me naked wearing your face as a mask.

Oooo, hello inspiration!
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:36, Reply)

I need another viewing I think
edit: nope, second viewing reiterates how awesome it is
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:38, Reply)

I demand to know what this awesome picture is.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Too hyped up now
Nothing could live up to the praise.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:42, Reply)

that's true
it's good, but it's not that good
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Ah, stop flirting and just post it

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Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:41, Reply)

If you mean the Rwandatron as the other one, that's becasue it's disturbing and creepy.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:41, Reply)

No no
And that was genius, and you know it.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:42, Reply)

It almost gave me nightmares.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)

I have something lined up for Lampito
She'll never be able to sleep again.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Oo, what is it??
Donkey Gums did something for me the other day, it's awesome, but I need the right moment to slip it in.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:45, Reply)

PFFFFTTTT!!!
I haven't finished it yet.
*coughs* anyone got a link to a picture of Sexface?
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:46, Reply)

Get your mind out of the gutter you filthy pervert.
On his profile. There's a naked one floating round somewhere, but I can't remember where it is.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:48, Reply)

I can never get my mind out of the gutter
I was brought up on Benny Hill and Carry On films.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:50, Reply)

he's got some in his profile

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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:49, Reply)

Is
this him?
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:58, Reply)

yeah, the beak nosed cunt lolololol

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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:28, Reply)

fnar

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Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:46, Reply)

and you.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:50, Reply)

I can't wait until saturday, I hope you're ready

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Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:51, Reply)

See, now
that just sounds terrifying.
(berk, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:46, Reply)

Oh it will be
Yes, it will be.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:49, Reply)

ooo!
for the B3TA ~~dirty old women~~ cougar club?
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:31, Reply)

No-one heard me last time, but it's more appropriate now
I know how much you all like talking about me, and I need a new sig. All suggestions welcome

GO
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:33, Reply)

whiny, attention-seeking ho-bag

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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)

Doesn't scan

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:36, Reply)

bitch-ass trick

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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Don't know what it means

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:54, Reply)

"is so gay he sneezes glitter"

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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Uniform Charlie Kilo Oscar Foxtrot Foxtrot

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Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:36, Reply)

Hehe. Nice.

(berk, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:38, Reply)

This is clever

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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:38, Reply)

It's not really, I have to use the phonetic alphabet at work
and you probably didn't see my edit, but I got one wrong the first time
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Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Do you call in airstrikes for a living?
that would be awesome. Although i'm a bit worried about your B3ta usage:

Radio: We need air-support...WE'RE BEING OVER-RUN!
Bert: Hang on, i'm just calling Becky a slag...
Radio: Oh god, they're on the wire, we need that.....bzzzzzzz
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Pffft
*click*
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Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:44, Reply)

I use it too, when talking to cops
I didn't see the edit though.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)

I said Umbrella instead of Uniform
for shame
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Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Ella ella ella ella
Ey ey ey ey
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:46, Reply)

So that's why it's fucking raining!
DON'T SING THE CURSE SONG DURING SUMMER
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:01, Reply)

I like it Bert
I like it a lot. Take some points
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:04, Reply)

The Spandex Bandit?

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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:40, Reply)

All your suggestions are shit, Chompy

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Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:41, Reply)

I dunno I also suggested your rape, torture and murder.
actually fuck it - ignored for once and for all, sorry I don't have the patience for such an utter twunt bag.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:46, Reply)

you're getting wittier, Chompy
I like it
EDIT just saw your edit! Excellent! I feel so proud, Another Victory for Team Bert Monkeysex

*Cypress Hills*
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Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Look what you did.
Go, quick, say sorry.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:52, Reply)

Pfffft
calling this guy chompy has been the most amusing thing, to me at least, that I've done on here in years. I love that he gets so upset so easily.
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Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:54, Reply)

Bad boy
I'm not cooking for you anything nice today.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:58, Reply)

Aww...
spoilsport
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Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:58, Reply)

"Gayer than a bummer, loathed to admit it"

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:41, Reply)

is gay.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:46, Reply)

Why do you ask those things here?
You know it's going to be something gay, don't you?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:52, Reply)

Honestly, I find it hilarious
especially since you'd shag me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:00, Reply)

I'd only shag you because you're gay
and it doesn't count if you're gay, you know?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:02, Reply)

Tell you what,
when I fuck you I'll keep reminding you that it doesn't count, and I promise not to enjoy it at all
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:04, Reply)

Good then
I hope you come anyway, or I'll feel I haven't been good enough for you.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:09, Reply)

Oh well, as I would hate to upset you
Just for you I'll cum all over your face. As a favour. You'll owe me one
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Not over my face, no!
I want your babies!!

*laughs crazily*
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:15, Reply)

Oh dear
Backed yourself into a corner now. Ms Foxtrot doesn't want kids. I think you've just answered my every prayer
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:20, Reply)

Really?
Are you my dreamed man? Because Mark doesn't want kids either (or getting married, really, he's doing it for me), so maybe we have the wrong partners.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:23, Reply)

Makes sense
Let's jack in our life partners for each other. I'm sure the last couple of months of occasional internet banter are sufficient foundation for an eternally happy partnership
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:27, Reply)

Deal
But I'm not cancelling the wedding, so you better be ready for the 8th of January. Most of my family don't know Mark, so nobody will notice.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:30, Reply)

Awesome
I'll be able to lord it over all my mates about football by association
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Wear clothes brighter than the sun?

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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:53, Reply)

Yes
That can be quite annoying, especially after a party fuelled by alcohol.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:03, Reply)

*toots the 100 replies horn*

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Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Too late
I already created something new for you.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:03, Reply)

I know, it was just a warning

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Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 16:04, Reply)

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