JUST FUCK OFF ANYWAY

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:54, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

seriously, just go

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Pffft
not until the counter reaches 600.

You so love me.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)

even if we do this 600 reply thing
you'll go "oh I've changed my mind, I'm going to stay, aren't I spontaneous and contrary". No one needs to come up with an excuse to leave a forum, you said yourself you're not actually going to leave, you just don't want the tag of being known as BMS hanging around your neck anymore so you can actually act normally again and perhaps have one or two people actually like you instead of ignoring you or trying to bait you.

You've admitted that BMS is a persona and one that really doesn't work very well so just pack it in. Either delete your account and use a different one or just stop acting like a massive embittered loser and see how long it takes people to start reading what you write again.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:58, Reply)

^ This ^
Couldn't have put it better myself
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:00, Reply)

I really won't
I'm just waiting for the counter to hit 600 so that at least I will have achieved something vaguely positive before I go.

My other account isn't a social one, it doesn't speak to people, it just does the odd post and has been on popular and best pages a couple of times (but doesn't venture to OT). It's never been about being liked or making friends to me. My whole objection to Off Topic from the start was that people were using it for social networking, something I was against.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

stop talking about it in the third person.
IT'S ALL YOU, IDIOT.

"My account does this, my account does that". I'm belming at the screen right now.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:02, Reply)

It's all words on a screen, Kitty
It's not real life. Bert Monkeysex isn't the real me you daft tart.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

yeah but you're talking about your accounts like they're people
it's creepy. You're still making the words on a screen so as much as you say "it's only the internet" it's still coming out of your head.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Of course they're not people, they're projections
It may be coming out of my head, but once I'd chosen a certain path with this account, there wasn't really any going back
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)

I still don't agree really
making up a fake persona on a forum is lame to begin with, but then to cast it in iron and refuse to change because 'that's not what Bert would do' is really, really lame. If you want imaginery friends then fine, but to believe in them to this extent is a bit deluded.

I think I'm pretty similar on here to how I am in real life. I understand people who troll and stuff but to make up a whole life behind your trolling account is kind of sad.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:15, Reply)

I'm slightly nicer in real life
but a lot more gropey
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)

only slightly ;-)
you do have the little voice going for you though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

'ello Vipros
That she does. Plus she has an awesome car.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

'noon
I'm not sure I'd go as far as awesome. Better than mine, but mine is merely functional.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Have you not played with her cupholder?
Magical.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)

I haven't been in the car
but have enough experience with Audis to know what you mean. (My car has an Audi interior for instance)

They are quite cool, but it is a small, albeit sporty hatchback when all is said and done.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)

I drive a Ka
Base model at that. I don't even have a cupholder.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)

Kas are for people who can't drive
as evidenced by the number of dented ones that reside on my street.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Mine's in pristine condition
Because I don't treat it like a bumper car.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

my car is in shit condition
partly scraped when we got it, but we havne't exactly treated it with respect. Mechanically it's tip-top, but it's covered in scrapes and little dents.

It's amazing how much even a wetsuit can scratch a car. Not to mention having carried an awful lot of rubble in it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)

It's pretty roomy
Enough room in the boot for Lab and a suitcase
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)

whole or in pieces?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Depends how mean I am

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

that's fair

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)

Vip, she mauled me!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)

don't blame her

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Yeah, if you dress like that, you deserve it
Bring it upon yourself.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)

I've seen her recent facebook pictures
bringing it upon herself the brazen hussy
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Yeah, it was that black frock in the last pic
How could she resist.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

And your boob-highlighting necklaces
And your 'Oh aren't you a naughty one' expression.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)

See Roots
no one to blame but yourself
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Opportunist!!!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Blame my rogue eyebrow!
And that was my "I'm trying to smile but I'm gozzy with drunkenness" face.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Tell it to the jury
To me it says "Oh, in just a few moments I'm going to have you inside of me". See, you still remain classy even when gaggin' for it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:40, Reply)

Even if I tell you the glass is full of iced jizz?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Well that just makes you all the more classy

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Wow
I can't fail here!
*extends pinky and sips*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:50, Reply)

Ah, you've misunderstood me
This account started off just as me, a cheeky, sometimes flirty and occasionally funny little twat, but then I fell out with some people.
Big arguments erupted over pretty silly little things and I chose to walk away, came back a while later and found that those people still held grudges, so no matter what I said or did it always ended up the same.
In the end I gave up and just went with it, I actually started to enjoy the insults and upset that my mere presence seemed to cause in abundance.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Your self reflective side is your most boring.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)

at least you only have one boring side.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:33, Reply)

meanie
you beat me to it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)

ok that's slightly less psychotic then
I was thinking you had like 4 different accounts all with different personalities and every time you were logged into one you would dress as that guy, drink his drink and put the pictures of his fake family up next to your PC.

I don't know what the original arguments were about so I've only judged you based on your comeback, which has been unpleasant for the most part.

If you come back as someone else people will probably figure it out though won't they?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I've used my other account for 7-8 months
and rarely interacted with any of you lot with it. So no, probably not.

Although I have given away enough information on it that anyone who knew me could figure it out.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

who the fuck would want to? boring cunt.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Hahahahaha!
I'm not a cock really, honest I'm not, it's other people that have forced me into this role, really I'm actually a nice guy, honest I am.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

fuck off, virgin
EDIT I never said other people forced this, I choose a path, tried to go back and couldn't
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

BYE!

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:42, Reply)

The real Bert
is properly rubbish. He's all lanky and everything
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Lanky upper body, sure
but thighs like an olympian, mostly.

You loved me when we met, don't try to deny it.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Like an upside down carrot?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:33, Reply)

I bet you do

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:37, Reply)

I thought you were fond of a bit of 'social' 'networking', eh eh?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:04, Reply)

Not sure what you mean?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)

Maybe I misunderstood what you meant
Nay mind eh
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Loving your work.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:02, Reply)

Suddenly, I'm starting to feel amused

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

no you're not
you just want everyone to think that you like being abused, so you can carry on acting like a hateful little child who doesn't have any friends and can't do anything about it because they can't physically force people to like them.

I'm like Trisha. This is what you wanted anyway isn't it, a load of hatefilled posts telling you to stfu so you can make a proper exit rather than people talking about their lunch until it reaches 600.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

I don't mind what people write, as long as it gets to 600
try not to get so worked up Kitty, you're better than this.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:02, Reply)

now he's trying his nice thing.... slippery little bastard ya!!!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)

I'm not trying anything
I'd say you're all about half right.

PS Shut up, Chompy
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:09, Reply)

I'm trying
my heart's not in it though. And now my lunch break has finished. I'll try and get some really hate filled posts out there before you go.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Cool
Would it help if I called you a chubby, inbred, alternative-try-hard-wannabe?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

But she's dead slim
Say all of the above but swap 'chubby' with 'scrawny', then she'll be proper insulted online.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)

In the photos I've seen she has some puppy fat on her

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:12, Reply)

I've honestly never been even a bit fat
I'm really unphotogenic though so maybe that's it. I do get doublechinnage when I laugh too. Stop facestalking me!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Really? You think?
Please don't share your opinions on body image with your daughter.
Girls are prone to eating disorders and body dysmorphia as it is.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Maybe I have reverse body dysmorphia
where I think I'm dead thin but everyone else sees a massive lolfatty!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Yeah that must be it
Because you really look like Two-Ton Tess.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)

Yep
This is her stretching before Pole class
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)

Your favourite song just came on my iTunes (on random)
I'm imagining you in neon shorts and tshirt, cuddled up in bed all warm and safe.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:28, Reply)

I thought you were talking to me then
I got a bit scared
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:34, Reply)

It's not all about you, y'know
You didn't have the joy of seeing AA in his retina-searing clothes.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:38, Reply)

They were magnificent

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:59, Reply)

God we girls are so paranoid
I've just had a quick flick through my facebook pictures to try and find ones that are incriminatingly fat! Damn you Monkeysex!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Ignore me Kitty
you're fucking gorgeous and you know it, don't go letting my arsehole-ish comments get to you
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:28, Reply)

it's this side of you that makes me think you are either
A: a paedo groomer
B: A raper
C: All of the above and a cunt
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)

and lets face it, a liar.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:33, Reply)

oi, let me enjoy it before he takes it away again!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Kitty O'Hara facilitator tut tut tut

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:40, Reply)

because she's so fat and gross?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)

I think that's what he was insinuating
he hates me :(
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

what a fucker
/ac
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

what does /ac mean?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:42, Reply)

autocomplete

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Pfffft
I'll plump for option B.

I was only paying her a compliment because calling her fat wasn't actually meant to make her think she was fat
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:33, Reply)

again, that's unnervingly pleasant of you

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)

ok that one was the most unsettling!
but still, *preens*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)

I think I have the same thing. I think I'm 2 stone overweight, my gf thinks 4 stone.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Yeah, I'm just three feet short of the ideal height for my weight.
I'm morbidly undertall.
(Cave Duck, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

haha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Ha.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)

If more people had eating disorders
obesity wouldn't be at an all time high
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)

YM had an eating disorder
If only she swallowed, you would probably have never been born.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:26, Reply)

Pfffft

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Eating too much
Is also an eating disorder.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:26, Reply)

I know
but it wouldn't have upset anyone if I'd said that now, would it?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Malnutrition costs the NHS £7.3bn a year according to the British Association for Parenteral and Enteral Nutrition
Obesity costs around £4.2bn
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:28, Reply)

that sounds about right to me
maybe if the fatties learned to share, we could halve the anorexia
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:29, Reply)

I would like half-anorexia

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)

haha!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:40, Reply)

That's because you have to feed the malnourished
and just have to chase the fatties with a stick.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

excellent summary

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Most malnourished patients
are pre-obese too. They're the kind of people who won't eat any fruit or veg at all, or very small amounts from a can.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Does this contradict or support what I said?
I'm lost thinking about tinned veg.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:40, Reply)

Supports.
The two walk hand in hand and I would imagine that some of those amounts could be combined with those figures not being wrong.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:42, Reply)

I just pictured a massive fatty
and an anorexic walking hand-in-hand to Tesco for some canned veg. It was a touching scene, so thanks.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:47, Reply)

like those "too fat to work" chav bitches from Blackburn
they've now been given a free home gym and some celebrity personal trainer. *seethes*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:41, Reply)

Let's go and sing badly on GMTV in dresses made out of my nana's wallpaper
We'll soon have the world at our feet.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:48, Reply)

It's the second coming................................. All Hail Kitty O'Christ.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Uh Oh

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

hahaha
morning Panda
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

It's my Irish Cousin Kitty!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)

hahaha
it took me a second to get that
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:41, Reply)