My first boyfriend
was always so nervous that he'd wear 2 condoms at the same time and still manage to come before getting inside me. Not only the 1st time, but for the 3 years we were together.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:15, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

why did you stay with him for three years?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:16, Reply)

there's more to life than sex
though three years does seem excessive
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Yes I know that, but still that shows a lack of effort on his part to sort out the obvious problem.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:19, Reply)

true
I certainly wouldn't have stayed for three years, or if I did I just wouldn't have sex with him at all, and see how long it took him to break up with me
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Typical womens passive aggressive response.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:21, Reply)

if you say so
I'm not passive-aggressive, I'd just be interested to see, particularly if I had nobody else I was interested in
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Yeah treat them like shit for no other reason than it interests you...
Snakes
with
tits
(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:23, Reply)

how's it treating them like shit?
People have choices how to react in a relationship. And since yes I basically deal with things like a man, I can't be arsed with the inevitable weeping and 'I can change' when things go wrong.

It was a jokey response, given that I've never been broken up with, always done the breaking up, might be nice to try the other way round
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:26, Reply)

How can you think a reply describing women as snakes with tits was anything apart from a joke?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Medusa Porn

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:30, Reply)

^this
you've been visiting the wrong sites Chompy
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Lamia porn
Medusa was more tits with snakes.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:12, Reply)

that's such a bloke thing to do
not a typical girl thing.

Tentacleface said it just the other day.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Oh yeah witholding sex is a typical bloke thing to do

(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:26, Reply)

how can they not see that you are right about this?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Their brains are 25% smaller than ours.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:30, Reply)

the size of brain has no bearing on its capacity
lollypop head.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Of course it does,
what you mean is that the capacity of the mind isn't directly related to intelligence
(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

you're shit and dull and I hate you.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)

oh I meant the second bit
about seeing how long they put up with bad behaviour before dumping you.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

He didn't want to have sex
I was his flower and he didn't want to spoil me. As I said, he was a bit crazy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

bit crazy MASSIVE BUMDER IN DENIAL
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:38, Reply)

he sounds like a right mental!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)

He was good with his fingers
And he was a poet. Everything was somber and bad, you know, always depressed and that. He kept saying I was the only bit of light in his world. He was quite mad, but not the maddest of my boys...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Sounds like a dullard, to be honest.
I can't stand that "You are the light of my life, when I look up at the moon when I'm with you, I sometimes wonder if you're looking up at the same moon at the same time, and somehow our gazes cross eachother and it feels like we're not so alone and empty and dark in this big dark and loanly and empty world." stuff.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:30, Reply)

christ
that is dangerously close to something I once said to someone.

It didn't have the emo end bit, but still...

I feel dirty.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Did you also break out into that song from that film with the mice who go to new york on a boat, where the brother and sister get seporated?
I think it went something like "Somewhere, out there, dah dah dahh da daaaaaa".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:36, Reply)

I'm not going to go into more detail
because it is embarrassing.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Have you ever said anything along the following lines?
- I can't be your superman anymore, you are my kriptonite.
- 6 point five billion people on this planet, we're so lucky to find each other.
- I don't just want you, I need you.
- I don't even know who you are any more.
- I love you so much it hurts, and I don't think I can take it any more.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:49, Reply)

I have not

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:54, Reply)

you gazzed that to me not five minutes ago

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

I've never SAID it though
:-P
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:08, Reply)

hahaha Fivel Goes West
There are no cats in America and the streets are full of cheese!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)

That's the one !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Yeah but it was to a croissant

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:36, Reply)

:-P

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Or the mirror

(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

you light up my office day Gonz

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

=D

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

I had that every day
and every day, for three years, he gave me a rose.

He protected me a bit too much. He'd cross the road walking sideways to protect me from incoming traffic (even with green lights) "stopping" the stopped cars with his hand, to make sure nobody would harm me.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

That is seriously
quite strange, couldn't live like that
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:36, Reply)

the mental image made me lol, did he wear a suite and speak into his wrists and touch his ear a lot?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

When I was about 8, I saw a film where someone pushed someone out the way of a car.
The very next day, on the way to school, which was in an ally-type road with only one house next to the school. A car was driving down at about 3mph at the time, all the kids and their parents standing to the side.

I decided to rugby tackle a girl I had a crush on shouting "noooooooo", and I ended up scraping both mine and her knees and we both burst into tears.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Hahaha

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Oh you
I properly laughed here and had to make up a story to explain my tears!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:48, Reply)

hahahahahahahaha

(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)

totally clicking that
because I wouldn't be suprised if some people on here think that's acceptable behaviour.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I actually lolled at that
HALT TRAFFIC, MY FAIR LADY IS PASSING!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)

You!
I had to run to the toilet with tears in my eyes. If it's going to be like this I don't think I can read much more here at the office.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:54, Reply)

I stayed with the boyfriend above
for 18 months after that little debacle. There is more to life than sex, but really... it just never got better. I think his record was about 3 minutes. So yeah, whilst it might be just one component of a relationship, when it's that shit, you're better off being single and not getting any than getting plenty that is frustrating and rubbish.
(berk, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:21, Reply)

I'd love that
in, out, job done, now I can get back to World of Warcraft.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

It's not quick
It's efficient!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)

two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Heh, I was just gonna say that, but with the ad break for hollyoaks.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Seriously?
Fooking hell. I'm the other end of the scale, very rarely come.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:18, Reply)

That's beause you're Emo
so you end up crying halfway through, she leaves and you end up sobbing over the Lords Prayer deserperatly trying to feel enough to cough up a little love juice
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I think it's because he's sleeping
Waiting for the end of September.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I don't know which one I prefer
I feel I'm doing something very wrong if the boy doesn't come.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:20, Reply)

^ this

(berk, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:23, Reply)

^and that's why
It can sometimes be harder (hurr hurr), when you feel like you're not going to, and you can tell that the woman's thinking "why hasn't he come yet? Am I doing something wrong?".
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Men don't have a monopoly
on performance anxiety, you know. And generally speaking, it's more unusual if the bloke doesn't come, so of course the woman is likely to worry.
(berk, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:28, Reply)

I know they don't
And I believe it is more unusual, and in a weird way kind of the woman to care that the guy hasn't arrived.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:30, Reply)

I might start screaming "HURRY UP DO IT NOW FOR GOD'S SAKE!"
see if it helps
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Survey says!
It doesn't.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:46, Reply)

The
Oh, oh, I'm coming, I'd love if you'd come with me. I like it so much more when we come together!

usually works.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:56, Reply)

I struggle to make any understandable sounds at the vinegar strokes, so no idea how anyone could manage this

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Practice
You clearly need more.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Is that an offer?
No? Ah, thought not *kicks at floor*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:12, Reply)

It's really a bad moment
I prefer if the boy tells me that, for whatever reasons, he can't come. But I'd still feel really, really bad about it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Wiggy can usually tell when I'm getting fed up and he admits defeat
hehe
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Mark too
but then I feel bad about him.

Then I think of all the times I've given him a bj and I don't feel that bad anymore.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

It's all swings and roundabouts
It evens out in the end.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Until recently, I was unaware that girls felt this way
Tis not good.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Yep
It's happened to me a couple of times, and even when the guy says it's because he's drunk too much or he's stressed or something, I still can't stop thinking I should have tried harder and make the foreplay more enjoyable...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:32, Reply)

It's happened to me
Usually because I'm too tired or drunk. Work effects things too, rarely, but it has happened.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Brewers droop is really annoying
especially since I usually get the horn after a couple of pints. *grumble mutter*
(berk, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

In my case
It doesn't matter whether I've been drinking, sleeping properly, on drugs, anything.

It'll either happen or it won't, seriously fooking annoying.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)

you sound like a woman.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:45, Reply)

You should see him on a dress

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

If she hasn't, she's the only one

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

I have

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Fair enough

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:10, Reply)

You've got it easy you lot
All you have to do is lie there

*runs*

Disclaimer: This is in no way my opinion
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:02, Reply)