I;m fairly sure I was only employed as I said
I fucking hate children and would rather gouge out my eyes with rusty bad aids spoons rather than popping out screaming portable shit machines.
Edit oh and I fucking hate that people get fucking paid to take time off work to pop out said shitting machines. I asked the MD if in 6 years I was still here if I could take 6 months off paid if I pretended I was pregnant
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:51, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Screaming portable shit machine
sounds like a harsh review for a mobile phone or MP3 player.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:54, Reply)

It's the tagline to 'Anal Future 9'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:56, Reply)

Or was it an album by The Cult?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 12:02, Reply)

haha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Cunning plan!
Then claim it died and demand compassionate leave.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:56, Reply)

This is even better

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:58, Reply)

I'm wondering if you could go for the trifecta -
eventually turn up back at work with a sinister doll and insist that it's your baby until you get signed off as mental.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Overcomplicated.
Being signed off as mental merely requires a slightly elevated mood and the impetus to glass random strangers in the street.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 12:04, Reply)

except in Glasgow
where you are considered mental if you DON'T do that
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 12:13, Reply)

nah, wha', this is wut I paid me taxes for, innit.
I agree though - everyone should have the opportunity to a sabbatical from work. I have no idea how this might happen other than it being good in principle.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 12:00, Reply)