That fucking sucks
I love hearing about your birthday. I'm imagining the card I want to make you. It's got sparkly bits on it and when you open it a cardboard cut out thing pops out and flaps as you wiggle the card. It's fucking genius even if I do say so myself.

I reckon anyone who gets mardy about your birthday, you should punch them right in the left tit.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 18:07, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Al!
Are you back?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 18:09, Reply)

I'm totally back
but don't ask me what day it is, I'm horrifically jet lagged. How are you?
( Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 18:10, Reply)

It's tuesday.
Was it worth the jetlag? I'm good ta. I've got another new boy to work on. I also have a pole and a free house.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 18:12, Reply)

Is he skinny and with an emo haircut?
Jet lag is totally worth it. We ate so much food, I've put on almost a stone, I feel like a right fat cunt.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 18:15, Reply)

yes and ish.
He also wears check shirts and is ever so slightly ginger. :D However did you guess?
In three weeks? You fat bastard. All the fat al pictures are going to get rolled out tomorrow.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 18:17, Reply)

We ate out for pretty much every meal
and we discovered this bar where they first started making Irish Coffee in the states, we got absolutely shit faced.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 18:20, Reply)

Ah, fair enough.
That is what holidays are for, really.
Sounds like you had an excellent time.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 18:27, Reply)

THIS IS A SHAMELESS FAT AL CUE

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 18:30, Reply)

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 18:32, Reply)

How is your little alien?
Has she chomped your breasts yet?
( Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 18:40, Reply)

Yeah, she's mad for the tits.
She's turning into a right little chunker.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 19:01, Reply)

i have a whole photo album devoted to the lovely stuff people made me on my last birthday
i fucking love a birthday and lovely stuff i just dont get the hostility man. im just about to post another update and any h8rz are getting deleted right up.

what colour is my card?
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 18:10, Reply)

It's kind of beige paper I think
And I'd get some of those fluffy pens, I'd get a green and a pink one and some of the gold sparkly glitter stuff. And I think it would have an animal on the front, and a picture of you and the animal would look really cute and it would say something like "separated at birth" so that it's being nice and saying you look like a cute animal.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 18:12, Reply)

oh man im totally opening that on sunday i wont open it yet or it'll spoil the surprise!
this is well the bestest not realest card ive not got before my birthday unopened until sunday for like... EVER!!!11!
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 18:16, Reply)

Just wait until you open it
there's a really funny line inside that'll make you do a real life LOL and then you'll read the message I wrote next to it and it'll make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside and also a bit fizzy between your legs, because you actually fancy me a little bit, even though you know I'm married and stuff.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 18:20, Reply)

oooh get to the bit where i start adding all your friends on fb in an attempt to get closer to you
and then surreptitiously glean information from wall posts and updates leading to me staking out a bash and following you home... waiting... waiting... pushing love notes under your door and calling your house only to put the phone down as she answers just to hear your voice only your voice god why wont you pick up i know youre home i can you on the fuckiNG SOFA WHY WONT YOU ANSWER YOU MAKE IT SO HARD TO FUCKING LOVE YOU
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 18:34, Reply)

Wait a sec, I was just wondering, I'm not sure, but are you still up for that orgy with me, Beckybxbxlkbkxlbkxlkbsomething , clendrix, wookie and Doc Something ?
'cus if you're out, then I need to pull in my a-game.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 18:35, Reply)