i am stuck in all day tomorrow
waiting for a bookshelf and a new dyson to be delivered. i am secretly quite excited about the dyson, as for £300 i am expecting it to do a lot more than hoover the carpet.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:42, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What else does a vacuum cleaner do?
Dance? make you coffee? valet the car on its own?
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:43, Reply)

she uses the vacuum cleaners to send cattle to their death

( lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

I think that only works for men, Rachel.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:44, Reply)

ha.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:45, Reply)

i am disappointed
by the lack of range in both your imaginations.

disappointed but perhaps not surprised.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Are you wanting to use it
To 'take care' of men so you don't have to?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

some girls like doing that
regardless of what yours might have been telling you for years!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

I'm just trying to think of the alternate uses you're suggesting
You could suck your womb out.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

if nothing else
it will look cool. that'll do!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Did you get a pink one?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

NO!!!!!
do they make pink ones??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Dunno
I've got a friend who works there. I should just get him to throw some pink plastic pellets in.

edits: they have some that have pink bits, but none that are just like completely pink and garish and awful.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)

then that won't do
stop teasing me with your promise of pink plastic things!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

You know full well
That I don't approve of making products in various colours just to make them more attractive to girls. Especially laptops.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:30, Reply)

I'm stuck in today
Waiting for an old broken TV to be picked up, and the new one to be delivered. For some reason these two things are happening separately, despite it being John Lewis that are doing both. Cocks.

The Dyson certainly will do more than just hoover. Our one gives me static shocks from the build up that happens when it gets pushed over the carpet. That's some awful design.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:45, Reply)

don't piss on my chips!
i am also desperate for one of those dyson hand dryers for my bathroom like you see in some bars these days. they are the best thing ever.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

are they the ones that dry your hands in 3 and a half seconds?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

yes
they are AWESOME!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

They are pretty good
In that they actually dry your hands, unlike normal hand driers, which just make them a bit warm.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

if you rub your hands thoroughly as you dry them
the remaining water is spread out thinner and more easily removed by the air flow.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

I do this
I thought I was dead clever when I figured it out.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:03, Reply)

given that most people fail to do it
you are allowed to feel clever.

I have just remembered a great hand dryer related image thing, possibly from here somewhere....

knowyourmeme.com/i/9403/original/PushButtonReceiveBacon.jpg
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I have that on a T-shirt
Also, Barbarossa took it a step further a little while ago
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

excellent :-)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

they've got them at Tayyab's -
as if it wasn't brilliant enough already.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

liking two things in one day?
careful, you'll have an aneurism.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:03, Reply)

They don't properly dry your hands though, you need to put them through twice.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

twice?
how wet are your hands?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Big hands love,
big hands.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

you know what they say about people with bigs hands....
that they are almost certainly a rapist
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

if you'd said big feet
you might have got more attention from me. you know what they say about men with big feet.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Red noses?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

i don't get this
why don't i get this, please to explain your shit joke, thanking you kindly.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Clowns, dear.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I bet you feel really stupid now.
Like retarded, having to stand at the front of the class stupid.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

it was a good joke too
insult to injury
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

it was a shit joke
if i didn't understand it, given how witty and sophisticated i am.

0/10 chompy, must try harder to impress the ladies.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

...or simply invest in a new hoover.
Hoovers don't make you watch Big Brother or force you to pretend you give a toss about their shoes.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

is this what he does to you, monty?
why are you friends with him then?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)

No, it's not.
Chompy is a stand-up fellow.

No emotional blackmail or periods with him.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)

you mean
he stands up and people laugh at him?

and i never do emotional blackmail. how could you say that monty, how could you?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Now start crying until you get your own way.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Yep, 'big socks'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

They're closely related to penguins?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

do your high fives hurt people?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Only when he puts them up their arses.

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:05, Reply)

That's his special 'low five'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

the best ones are stupidly powerful ones of the normal variety
called XCELERATOR! or something

because they deform your hands with their raw power.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

The most important thing
is not to put your penis in either.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

ouch

( lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

That sounds like a challenge

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

raping a hand dryer. interesting idea.

( lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:03, Reply)

the hand dryer wants it.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Quick and dirty

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

did you just make that?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Yeah
It's not something I had pre-made, I'm not that mental.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

wasn't sure if you'd pinched it from somewhere
good work
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I'll take that as a compliment, thanks!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)

He just called you a thief.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:29, Reply)

He said it looks so good that I obviously couldn't have made it
Therefore my skills surpass his low estimation of me.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:31, Reply)

this is great
and i told you all... see how cool the airblade is, see!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Use a towel

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

or just wipe
my hands on my trousers like they do in milton keynes, you mean?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

I want one of those robo-hoovers
but our flat has a two-level floor all the way across the living room so it would just fall off it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)