alright cunts? did you miss me?
summer seems to be disappearing rather quickly and I am most displeased

however, with summer leaving, autumn brings about halloween--my favorite holiday AND 90Nz0s birthday!
also, it brings about my roommates birthday bash, this years theme is Pimps and Hoes, I am well excited.

So, what are you looking forward to this fall??
Answers including Christmas will result in the stabbing of your nan
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:47, 210 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm looking forward to Guy Fawkes night
Fireworks, a massive bonfire, carnies and pig sandwiches. Nomnom.

It's my favourite day of the year.
( Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:48, Reply)

I never look forward to falling.
I would also assume that my next fall will not be foreseen.
This Autumn, however, I shall be visiting Edinburgh and Fife, becoming a cousin (but acting like an aunty) and farting lots.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:49, Reply)

you don't fart lots anyway?

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:08, Reply)

More when it's the start of farty vegetable season ;)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Tar Barrels!
woooo

one of the best nights of the year
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:50, Reply)

My October bash.
I lead a dull and fruitless existence that can only be validated by meeting a bunch of nutters in a pub 350 miles away.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:50, Reply)

I don't have to travel as far
but my life is still pretty empty *cries*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Ditto
but I'm half your age (well, half and a little bit) so what's my excuse? I am very much looking forward to it though.
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:55, Reply)

That's right.
Fucking rub it in, why don't you?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:56, Reply)

I'm not rubbing anything of yours, sunshine
Be happy! Look at it this way - you are nearing your fifth decade and your social life is still as exciting as someone who is 25.
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:00, Reply)

Actually I sometimes have to remind myself
that I'm about to hit 40. I certainly don't feel it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:07, Reply)

Age, like weight, is a number
And nobody likes maths, so why not have a beer and a pie and generally a good time without worrying about it?
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:11, Reply)

Quite.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:15, Reply)

I think Mark and I will be there too
But I'm not sure yet.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Hooray!

( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Yey!
BTW, how and when are you going down south? I'm thinking on going on Friday, when I finish work, around 12 midday, prob by train.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:07, Reply)

alright Kristine
Halloween in the states is a much bigger deal than here which sucks. We are throwing a big party for it this year as it's awesome. Zombie walk will be cool also and bonfire night in Bristol is pretty epic. Best time of year I reckon.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:50, Reply)

It is a fact that the best place to be on bonfire night is here
www.otterytarbarrels.co.uk/

conveniently, my parents live just outside the town
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Are they really ottery?
Or just tarry?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:52, Reply)

mostly tarry
I assume that they are called ottery because that is where it is held, rather than because they are smeared with otter
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Thank heavens.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:55, Reply)

that looks brilliant. Could be worth a look one year.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:54, Reply)

it is the most fun you can have with your clothes on
here's the recipe:
pile 20,000 extra people into the streets of a small town.
Arm farmers with large wooden barrels with the insides coated with tar and set alight.
feed everyone loads of booze, spliffs and burgers
enjoy

not good if you don't like crowds. The best thing is being there with people who haven't been before. They think they know what to expect, a sort of tame procession down the street. The crowds are thicker than most rock gigs I've been to and the barrellers run as fast as they can.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:56, Reply)

Can you nominate to put people in the barrels?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:57, Reply)

unfortunately not
but you can goad them into annoying the barrellers, in which case they will get a beating
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:58, Reply)

Sold, can't be more than an hour away from me
I am going to give that serious consideration for next years halloween sounds brilliant.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:58, Reply)

it's on the 5th. Friday this year
probably saturday next year.

friday and saturday are extra busy
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:58, Reply)

November?
I thought it was halloween for some reason I didn't read the dates on the web. In that case I might do it this year. Honestly sounds right up my street.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:02, Reply)

it's a weird experience
a load of my friends have tired of it, but last year was one of the best I've been to. My bro and his mates are down from London this year for it too which is always fun. Means I don't have to drunkenly stagger to my parents' place on my own too, which is nice.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:08, Reply)

oh man, I always look forward to looking at redstars zombie walk pics
I'm well jealous
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:51, Reply)

organise one
They are hilarious. Also there is a little cinema in Bath that does halloween specials, we went when they did 28 days and 28 weeks later for a 5er. All the staff were dressed up and hiding and jumped out on you. It was brilliant.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Hello gorgeous.
I'm excited for the Equinox, which is my birthday (often my birthday, I think)
I'm also excited for university and lots of fun like that.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I thought of you the other night IRL
I went out all dressy, didn't wear a dress, but wore HEELS!

also, my birthdays usually suck, so I hope yours is amazing!
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:52, Reply)

Excellent news.
I've not worn heels in a while though :(

My last few birthdays have been a bit shit, I hope it'll be good.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:55, Reply)

I never wear heels out
it's like torture

Mine were as well, then last year came about and it was awesome, so, yours probably will be too!
*sends awesome birthday luck your way*
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:57, Reply)

It is exactly torture.
I'm only wearing low-slope platforms, low heels or flats from now on.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:58, Reply)

I wasn't planning on it, my friend was all "you haaaaaaaaaaave to wear heels, I'm wearing heels"
I get there and the bitch is wearing BOOTS with heels
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:12, Reply)

The sly cow

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Thank youuuu!
When's yours bbz?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:58, Reply)

feb 18th
every year there's snow, usually 1-3 ft
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:09, Reply)

No dress. just heels, eh?
Bet that turned a few heads.

I like you SO MUCH that I didn't post this:

stomachs heads
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:55, Reply)

oh ho ho
didn't even give anyone else time to strike through
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Starting uni on Friday, I'm actually going to attend things this time.
Also my mate gets his tag off in late October (I really don't keep the best of company) after six months, so we are going on the mother of all four day benders to celebrate.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:51, Reply)

After which your mate will probably smash Fenwicks window and the tag will be straight back on again.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:55, Reply)

You're going out with Foxtrot's mum?
*confused face*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:57, Reply)

what makes him a 4 day bender?
rather than your run-of-the-mill bender
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:29, Reply)

I missed you a great deal, Kristine.
I am looking forward to MY BIRTHDAY, seeing KRS1, seeing Jim Jones Revue and seeing Motorhead.

Yesterday I threatened my ex with court so I am also looking forward to bankruptcy and utter misery.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Why aren't you looking forward to meeting me?
bastard
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:53, Reply)

That most of all, my sweet, but I don't want these peasants to know this.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:56, Reply)

You'd better come with a really low expectation then.
That way, you'll be mildly surprised instead of gut wrenchingly disappointed.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:58, Reply)

If it gets things sorted out in the long term, then some short term pain might be a small price to pay.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:56, Reply)

I suggested I took my daughter
down to Winchester to see my mother one weekend - 'that will never happen' I was told.

The only way I'm going to get unsupervised access is by order of the court, it seems.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:58, Reply)

What happened with the move to Winchester idea?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:00, Reply)

Canterbury it was.
Never actually managed to sit down with the bitch to discuss it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:01, Reply)

If you don't mind me asking...
But why does she insist on supervised access?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Because she's a mental, basically.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:04, Reply)

Yes
Why do you need that, if you are the father and you've never done anything wrong with your daughter or against the law (that the law knows about, of course)?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:04, Reply)

see Davvo's and my responses.
(and Kroney's)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:06, Reply)

Because his ex knows it hurts him.

( Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:06, Reply)

Because she knows that's what I want.
There is no other reason, on my daughter's life, Jeff.

My family hate my ex so much they stay away - if I could have my child on my own they'd be up all the time. My ex doesn't want this - she wants revenge on me for dumping her.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:06, Reply)

Can we find a B3tan to hook up with your ex?
It might help her move on.
(Bert?)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:08, Reply)

gutted for you Monty, I hope you get what you want eventually.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:08, Reply)

It's a shame
FFJ are such a bunch of losers. A united legal front would probably force some law changes.
( Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Well, yes, I get that
But how is it possible that she's allowed to do something like that. You love your daughter as much (or more) as her mother, you both have the right to look after her. I understand that it's best for her to live most of the time only at one house, but that you can't be with her without your ex checking on you all the time? That's unfair and stupid.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:09, Reply)

"that's unfair and stupid"
now you understand the legal system in this country as it regards to a father's rights to his children
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:11, Reply)

^^This

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:13, Reply)

If it didn't hurt so much, I would piss my pants at your naivety.
I am the father so I have no rights - the whole thing hangs on the whims of the mother under English law.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:11, Reply)

And you say it just like that?
And nobody complains? You have no blood, British! I can't believe you don't already have a society (or something similar) and haven't taken a group of cases to court. All together will make a lot more noise than one by one.

You are the fathers. The girl wouldn't be here without you. The mother doesn't have to prove that she's good for the kids, she just gets them, and you have to fight for a few hours on your own with her. FFS! Complain! But not here, complain properly!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:16, Reply)

Hah
Oh people complain, there are societies.
( Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:17, Reply)

It's just a shame that they spurn legal proceedings in favour of Spiderman costumes...

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:17, Reply)

I assume the stupid stunts aren't all they do

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:18, Reply)

They also get together and 'tut' .

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:36, Reply)

AND TUT LOUDLY, TOO.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:38, Reply)

That's not entirely fair
They send angry emails to each other about it, too.

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post863503
( Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:18, Reply)

Read up on Fathers for Justice
edit: although apparently they are useless losers
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:18, Reply)

Families Need Fathers aren't as bad
but are as completely pointless in the real world, apart from as advice-givers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Again your naivety is actually quite endearing.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:18, Reply)

^this
it's like the fuel strikes and stuff, and the war protests. People do stuff, no one listens. Everyone goes home mildly disgruntled.

If it were France stuff would be on fire and rocks being hurled and the government might listen.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:19, Reply)

We protested against the war
and we changed president for not listening to us.

You have quite a good system here, as you can talk with your MPs directly, that's why usually you don't need to complaing loudly so much. But sometimes, like this one, seems necessary to make a big mess of it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:26, Reply)

you can talk to them
but they won't listen

likewise with the protests here. They never amount to anything, and wouldn't even if people did try to make a big noise.

It'd ultimately end up with some knob getting violent, the police having to give him a beating, arrest everyone and they all get tarred with the same brush of being moronic rioters who definitely shouldn't be seeing their kids.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:27, Reply)

So true.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:29, Reply)

I don't know what else to say
Just that I'm sorry, and I hope everything improves. I really hope that when your daughter is a bit older she realises what's going on and stop her mum.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:32, Reply)

The last two weekends she's said she wants to go to Daddy's house.
It makes me want to cry, having to just change the subject. I feel a genuine physical pain in my chest just thinking about it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:35, Reply)

I'm very sad for you too
and for your little one. It's going to be hard for her when she understands what's happening.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:44, Reply)

Again, I agree completely
The people who rule this country, be they MPs or heads of corporations, are untouchable and unaccountable, so why should they listen to the plebs?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:30, Reply)

I hope you aren't suggesting I'm a pleb, old boy?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Perish the thought
I was talking about everyone else in the nation.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:39, Reply)

Thank goodness for that.
For a moment there....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:40, Reply)

But haven't you looked after your daughter when your ex partner has wanted a night out?
How could she possibly argue to the court that you're unworthy of unsupervised access when she's happy for you to care for her on such occasions?
(Cave Duck, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:49, Reply)

A very salient point.
Thanks a lot
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Again,
because she's a mentalist.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 15:27, Reply)

The law over here
is strongly biased in favour of the mother. If she gets custody she can pretty much dictate when he sees his daughter. The courts can say "monty is entitled to x amount of contact", but it's up to him to enforce it through the courts if she simply refuses. He has to prove she's doing something wrong.
( Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:13, Reply)

That's so wrong

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:16, Reply)

Sounds like going to court is your best option.
Although saying that, a mate of mine was in a similar position with his ex and he ended up going to court 4 times to try and get regular access to his son.

Each time he went it cost him over a grand and each time the court agreed that he should have every other weekend, alternate Christmas and New Years with his son and a week in the summer so he could take his lad on holiday.

She still refused him access unless it suited her. The problem was that courts won't take any action against a primary carer or lock up a childs mother for being a cunt.

As he tearfully pointed out to the woman chairing the family court pannel, every visit to court is a thousand quid he could be spending on his son.

I wish you every success with getting proper access agreed. Get some good advice and see what the professionals reckon you should be able to secure.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:11, Reply)

Thanks, old boy.
It's a nightmare from which I fear I shall never awake.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:12, Reply)

One thing my mate was encouraged to do
And it helped massively when he was in court for the second time, was to keep a diary of events.

They were both told to keep one so that any problems could be discussed.

His read, 'Telephoned to enquire as to what time I could pick up my son, was told to fuck off'

Her diary was blank because 'I forgot to fill it in' (not a single entry over 4 months).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:16, Reply)

All my texts are backed up online

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Well I hope it goes well for you mate.
It can't be doing your daughter any good to have all this shit going on.

If it comes to it, I can lend you a Captain America fancy dress outfit and you can chain yourself to a bridge or something.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:24, Reply)

I already have a Wonder Woman one, but thanks all the same.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:27, Reply)

For a grand
I'll accidentally run her over on my bike.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:16, Reply)

If you had a 'fixy' I'd give you the job
(cos you could SPEED AWAY so quickly innit)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:19, Reply)

So long as there weren't any hills
or long straight roads. :/
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:26, Reply)

I think that your best option
is to find a group of fathers in the same situation, and present your case all together. Not complain each time she breaks the agreement, but make sure that the law includes punishment for her when she does it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:18, Reply)

The court will never punish the mother
Not if the child is living with her full time.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Or dress up as a super hero.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Not your fault
but you are wildly underestimating the size of the legal hill.
( Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:25, Reply)

Clearly I am
It makes me feel very sad, though, that the law permits this and protects the person who's doing the harm.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:27, Reply)

as far as the court is concerned there is no harm being done
it's all in the best interests of the child
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Well
The court is wrong, clearly. The best interest of the child is to have both a mother and a father.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:30, Reply)

And the love of the father's family.

Particularly as in my case the mother's family are bunch of fucking peasants.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:33, Reply)

in principle
but in some cases the parents won't be together, or the father won't have any interest, or will have interest but be a violent bastard. There has to be some kind of law to protect the child in those sorts of instances, but unfortunately the way it is now punishes people like Monty. Or rather, allows his ex to punish him.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Yes
But if it's the mother the one that is a bastard, then that doesn't count. She doesn't have to prove anything. She's the mother and that's all that counts.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:46, Reply)

that is fairly unusual though
on the whole, if the child is to live with one parent then most of the time they are better off with the mother, particularly at a very young age.

unfortunately I imagine when the law was written they didn't consider that some people might use it to exact their own petty revenge on a partner who they think has slighted them.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Ok, that's true
But the way your law works here, as I see it, is believing that the mother is good until the opposite is proved, and believing that the father could be a cunt, so just we better don't bother with him too much, just in case, eh?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:56, Reply)

that's pretty much it
in a lot of cases it works fine, because the mother is willing to give access to the father, either with or without court action.

but in some cases, like that of our unfortunate colleague, the mother is a psycho hosebeast
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:58, Reply)

I'm sorry to hear that (about your ex)

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:03, Reply)

DG's bash & my birthday
And maybe something else that'll stop me throwing myself down the lift shaft at work.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:53, Reply)

post holiday blues still

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Along with the usual 'what the hell am I doing with my life' emo moments

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:55, Reply)

I thought you liked your job?
awesome porn and all that.
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:56, Reply)

oh man they totally have 3d porn now
just thought I'd throw that in there
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:58, Reply)

Been doing it for over 5 years
I've run out of passion and energy for it. I also have a general lack of croissant-y contentedness with life at the moment.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:00, Reply)

Cheer up
it's better than the dole.
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:02, Reply)

True, and I know this
I just can't get my arse in gear at work any more.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:04, Reply)

I know the feeling.
The general uncertainty of what's going to happen over the next few months doesn't help, either.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I'm lucky, very lucky in fact
That my job's pretty secure. The only threat to that is myself.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:07, Reply)

My job is fairly secure
I'm just not naiive enough to be 100% confident that it will be me that will be doing it in 12 months time, despite what HR say about the matter.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:09, Reply)

Not a nice position to be in :/

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:11, Reply)

I'd happily take redundancy
and have volunteered, only to be informed that I'm too expensive to get rid of.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Wow it's a shame we're not driving down together
we could totally play who has the shittest life and I'd totally win at something. Finally.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:58, Reply)

Fuck it
Let's get drunk Friday night on white russians, then you can be naughty with Lusty and I can fall over.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Ok
Are you bringing stuff for white russians?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:08, Reply)

I will do so, yes.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:10, Reply)

Woohoo!
I'm so going to win at the shittest life game
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Maybe
I'm on a downer today, so overlooking the pluspoints in my life (my hair) while dwelling on the negatives (work depression, relationship etc).
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:15, Reply)

I wish I had hair like yours.
My life would be slightly less irritating.
( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:28, Reply)

You're lovely BGB
I don't think I say it enough
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:38, Reply)

: )

( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:43, Reply)

I thought you'd just been on holidays with your mrs?
Or did you end up wanting to punch her face in by the end of it? (If so, I feel your pain..)
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:30, Reply)

My patience was tested on many an occasion
And I felt like I was being unreasonable and confrontational at times, which is not something I considered part of my character.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:32, Reply)

that doesn't sound like fun
was it because she was being unreasonable and illogical?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:38, Reply)

First day there
She complained about everything, and after lying on the sunbed for ten minutes (just as I was getting into my book), she starts moaning about being bored. Thankfully she learned to just chill the fuck out.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:44, Reply)

that's rather annoying.
and really her own problem to sort out.

don't worry that you are being unreasonable. It's more than likely that you aren't.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:46, Reply)

I think guilt is making me feel like I'm being unreasonable
Just having a downer day about it all really.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:49, Reply)

that happens unfortunately
I smoked so much pot this weekend that I was expecting one. Not been too bad though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:52, Reply)

I'd rather that than complaining constantly
about how hot it is in a country YOU CHOSE TO VISIT, and generally being rude, annoying and generally an arsehole.
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:50, Reply)

That sounds like a right pain
Em left it all up to me to sort out, because she said she's terrible at 'that sort of thing'. When I did, I knew that nothing would be perfect, but my choices were somewhat limited by her not saving enough money for the holiday (choosing to buy a wii instead...).
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:57, Reply)

Yeah, as ever I organised the greater part of it
...I typed a big long list of stuff just now he'd done to annoy me and it made me really cross, plus I'm sure you don't need to listen to me grumbling when you're feeling shit yourself, so I deleted it. Oh well, it'll all sort itself out one way or another.
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 15:05, Reply)

I get myself worked up by mentally noting all the things she does to piss me off
Then feel really bad that I'm being so harsh to her.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 15:06, Reply)

Haha, I do the former, but rarely the latter
I don't often feel guilty for being annoyed by annoying things, I just tend to bottle it up until I've calmed down. Sadly this time, calming down is taking longer to do than usual.
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 15:10, Reply)

have a spliff
it'll help
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 15:12, Reply)

Sound advice
I may do just that, if I can find my gear.
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Hah. Yeah - I can only repeat:
I feel your pain.
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:38, Reply)

How'd the boy piss you off?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:45, Reply)

ah - see above

(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:50, Reply)

On the plus side
you get to see me soon
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:43, Reply)

s m
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:44, Reply)

I don't look forward to much in life
But this Friday is a beacon of excitement gleaming in my world.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:45, Reply)

YAY BOOZE!

(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:52, Reply)

YAY ME!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 15:14, Reply)

My nans are both dead
So I can say Christmas without fear (I love that time of the year)

As well, I'm going on a sort holiday at the end of September (but I'll be back to help waking up AA, don't worry)

Mi brother is coming to visit at the begining of October.

My hen do is in the middle of October in Granada.

I'm sure November will bring something, although I'm not sure yet. Maybe a weekend in the isle of Wight.

I'm taking 3-4 months holidays at the end of November.

This winter is going to be great! (I never thought I'd say that again, since I discovered what the real winter was)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Have you been to Granada?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7ZvAQNjVSc
It looks very odd to me.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:02, Reply)

I can't see youtube here
I've been in Granada several times and I like it. At least the Granada in Spain. I don't know if you mean something else.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I was there last weekend!
It was awesome. England is so rubbish.
/post holiday blues
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Amen on post holiday blues
My Dad said to me the other day "Son, I think you're bloody stupid to still live in this country, if I were you I'd move to Australia or New Zealand. This country's gone to shit."
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:18, Reply)

So has most of the civilised world, though.
The grass may look greener, but hop over the fence and you'll find it's still covered in dog shit.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:20, Reply)

At least
It's not raining there, and you can see the shit in the morning because there's sun at 7am. And in summer, you can go to sleep at 10pm if you want without having to cover your windows with black sheets.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:22, Reply)

that is true
and all my mates live here
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:23, Reply)

I agree
Nowhere's perfect, I think I'm just fed up with living in a small town (although prolonged periods in cities annoy me), and too many things I see in the news in this country make me loudly say "Oh for the love of God...".

I expect too much, and am very rarely able to be content with my lot, that's my problem.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:26, Reply)

The state this country's in at the moment
makes me despair, but there are many good things about living here all the same.

Plus, I like the area I live in. Ten minutes from the coast, 20 to the hills, and a fairly decent city just half an hour away.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:40, Reply)

I agree with your father
My problem is that Mark loves this place. We've agreed to move to somewhere mediterranean in 2 years and give it a try. Let's see.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Did you get your free tapas with your drinks?
I know of a lot of foreigners who don't, but you should get them.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I never bloody did
Did have some nice tapas in Ciutadella though, mmmm albondigas!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Oh, but that's only in Granada
There, you get free tapas with each drink. The more drinks you have in the same bar, the better the tapas.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:28, Reply)

What kind of retard doesn't take free food?
Yes I did, and with the exception of one thing, they were all bloody magnificent. Drinking enough sangria to make me quite giddy and it only costing about £8 was excellent too.
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I know
That's why I'm doing my hen do there! Cheap nice hotel, moderate price tickets, but very cheap drinks and free food!!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:34, Reply)

pah
you don't know a real winter until you've had one here

also, ooooooooooooooh hen do

anything special planned?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:07, Reply)

I don't know
Winter in Sweeden was pretty bad... And last year in Manchester was awful. I hate the snow, and the ice, and the cold, and the dark mornings, and the rain.

I haven't planned anything. In theory, my bridemate is doing it, but as I know her well, I'm pretty sure there'll be nothing ready when we get there. I had to get plane tickets and hotel for all of us :)

It doesn't matter, really. Granada is great and I know where to go to have a good time. As long as they don't make me wear a pink hat, I'm happy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Have a lovely time.
I'm sorry I can't make it : (
( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:13, Reply)

Well
I'm sure we'll do something in Tenerife. Do you know when you're going?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:23, Reply)

I'm going to try to get there a few days before the wedding to see you.
I should be able to be there for a week.
( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Great!
I'll send an email soon with a lot of questions, explanations and planning!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:28, Reply)

I am looking forward to achieving a Zen like state of peace and inner harmony.
I reckon it's going to be a hard slog though.
( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:06, Reply)

Try MASSIVE DRUGS
The quick and easy route.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:09, Reply)

Been there and bought the t-shirt.
I'm a good girl now.
( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:11, Reply)

are you going all eat pray love on us?

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:10, Reply)

Nah! just trying to find contentment.

( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:11, Reply)

I found it the other night off craigslist

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:12, Reply)

All I ever got from Craigslist was a slap in the face.
*obscure comment is obscure*
( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:15, Reply)

Another long holiday in Kos
and you'll be better than Buddha.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:13, Reply)

No more escaping.
I must achieve contentment at home.

And no I having been reading any self help books.
( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:17, Reply)

Good
They're crap and depressing.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Snow Patrol?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:39, Reply)

Coldplay?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Pff
We're trying to choose a song for our first dance.

Now, have into account that for me, names of English/USA's bands don't mean anything, as I have grown up without knowing if they're good or not. I just listen to a song and like it. I might not like the rest of the album, but just that song.

Each song I've said to Mark comes with a weird look from him and the question: Snow Patrol? Bon Jovi? Coldplay?

Well, I don't know, I like the song. Is that so wrong?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:49, Reply)

yes it is. too cheesy and/or soppy
the 3 we are choosing from (at the moment) are:
I can hear music by the Beach Boys
Love walked in by Thunder
Pride and Joy by Stevie Ray Vaughn
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:55, Reply)

I think we'll go for a Spanish song
so that he doesn't come with this prejudices. If it's a pretty song that he likes, including lyrics, and I like it too, and it means something to both of us, that's it.

I wanted Highway to hell first, and then Living on a pray, but it seems they're not good for a first dance.

At least we have choosen our cocktail music, wich is going to be all OSTs that we like, such as Star Trek, Back to the future, Superman, Starwars, The Lord of the rings...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:59, Reply)

that's the sort of thing to go for :-)
highway to hell would be good. most people would probably frown though. the tossers.

that's a cool idea. I'm planning to get some friends of friends to play guitar and sing while we have drinks and canapes etc. they play stuff like john martyn and robert plant + alison krauss, and do it really well
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 15:02, Reply)

That sounds cool
I don't know how easy is to find a first song that is easy to dance, is romantic, brings some good memories to both of us about us and doesn't sound cheesy.

I think going for Spanish will save me from a lot of discussing.

We want a theme for each part of the wedding, at the moment we have only agreed about the OSTs, but that's easy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 15:04, Reply)

finding something to fit all of those is quite hard
fortunately I think about music more than anything else, so haven't done too badly.

we're avoiding themes and stuff where possible. Keeping everything pretty simple (and cheap). I just want everyone to have some good food and have a good time really. Without financially crippling myself (more so than I have already)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 15:09, Reply)

I organised the music for a friend's wedding earlier this year
They already had a DJ booked, but needed music for the actual ceremony (civil service do in the hotel). Music soundtrack stuff like LotR, Batman Begins, Star Wars etc were chosen for the milling around, then the bride walked down the aisle to the Mission Impossible tune.
They also exited to the Indiana Jones theme ;)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 15:04, Reply)

nice

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Doesn't matter what the song is as long as it means something to you.
It can be the bloody birdy song, as long as it makes you happy.
( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:58, Reply)

That's what I think
We've had some special moments when one of these soappy songs were playing, but we can't choose them because ey, no, it's Snow Patrol, my friends would laugh at me forever. Right. Spanish, it is.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 15:00, Reply)

Aserejé by Las Ketchup it is then!

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 15:03, Reply)

Or how about Spanish Stroll by Mink DeVille
On account of it having the word Spanish in the title and being ace?
(Cave Duck, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Some friends of mine have very different taste in music.
He hates all of "traditional" mawkish slow numbers and the only thing of his that they both liked and was anappropriate tempo was "Nothing Ever Lasts Forever" by Echo & The Bunnymen which wasn't the most appropriate sentiment.
(Cave Duck, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 15:01, Reply)

Nice choon though.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 15:10, Reply)

'Tis.
I'm just not sure "All the shadows and the pain are coming to you" as they gaze into each others eyes isd quite appropriate.
(Cave Duck, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 15:26, Reply)

Dunno if it counts as fall (probably Winter).
My son is 21 mid december. That is going to be fun.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 14:44, Reply)