Those inclined to prattle
Are doing my head in this afternoon. Whilst processing data, a soul-destroying task at the best of times, my supervisor wandered in, spotted something that I would never have otherwise picked up on, and suggested I go back and check to see whether it had any important effect on the end result. I wouldn't have minded this so much if he could have explained this is in, say, 50 words as opposed to what felt like several thousand.

Just as he cleared off, one of my colleagues sent me a message asking if I fancied a tea break. Capital idea! I thought, and seized the opportunity to have a cup of tea and clear my head. Not so. Turns out all she wanted to do was have a whinge. Now I usually try to lend her a sympathetic ear, but at that stage I really could have done with a two-way conversation, rather than just being talked at.

Thank you for listening. Is there an easy way to deal with these people, short of taking earplugs wherever I go?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:02, 129 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

earplugs or headphones are the only way
I too am plagued by it, but more the having to listen to other people's conversations aspect, rather than them talking directly to me
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:05, Reply)

Is this what karma is?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:05, Reply)

No - that is a curry for softies.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Korma is damn tasty.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:33, Reply)

If you're a tranny, well maybe it is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:43, Reply)

Like Boy George?
The Korma Chameleon?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Boy george's lizard has attacked four children,
he needs a calmer chameleon.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:51, Reply)

This could well be POTD
I need to trawl the afternoon's threads to verify, though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:06, Reply)

I was watching Masterchef Australia the other day
(great show, lots of good cooking tips) and they made snapper in garam masala and coconut milk with noodles.

it looked sen-fucking-sational
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:52, Reply)

You've not even attempted a Boy George based joke.
I'm quite upset by this. Do you really want to hurt me?
(Cave Duck, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Yes
EDIT: I didn't mean you had to delete it, haha!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:56, Reply)

I prefer Madras, I just think Korma is damn tasty

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Too late, Butch.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:58, Reply)

Meh, I got used to being judged like this a while back
Even when I shared my manly recipes, I still got mocked.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Children can be so cruel.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:01, Reply)

I think that's the frightening thing, I'm sure I'm the youngest here currently...
EDIT: I mean compared to those taking the piss out of me
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Resident tranny likes korma,
what a suprise.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:44, Reply)

He'd fucking die in Tayyab's.
The cutlery would be 'too spicy' for him.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:07, Reply)

Charming.
So far, the only thing I've ever had that was too hot was this vicious little fucker
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:08, Reply)

I jest, young sir.
Glad you've cheered up a bit - what you said about waking up and thinking 'not a-fucking-gain' struck a real chord* with me.

*It was 'A minor'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:24, Reply)

Oof, you should be careful with that...
Last time that happened, all I heard was "you'll never teach in this town again!"
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:42, Reply)

Very droll.
Actually not bad.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:57, Reply)

Actually I have to confess to being a Curry Puff.
I don't like food that hurts.
(Cave Duck, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:26, Reply)

I like an 'experience'
and fucking love chilis - but not at the expense of flavour, those imbeciles eating vindaloos in regional curry houses are fucking retarded.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:56, Reply)

Violent hostility
or just say I don't care repeatedly works for me.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:07, Reply)

Oh yes.
Fingers in ears, eyes closed and shout "FUCK OFF! FUCK OFF!" until they finally get the message and go haunt somebody else.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:10, Reply)

honestly it works
people will think you are a bit of a dick initially but they will stop whinging at you. I can't stand it either.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:11, Reply)

just because i don't care doesn't mean i don't understand

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:45, Reply)

You selfish wanker
You didn't let me get a word in edgeways there!

But yeah, headphones are the only way.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:07, Reply)

Just pretend you're busy
and have some very urgent bumdering to do
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:08, Reply)

Words of advise for young people.
Do not offer sympathy to the mentally ill. Tell them firmly: "I am not paid to listen to this drivel. You are a terminal boob."
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:09, Reply)

you should probably change your tampon or something
hope this helps
xx
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:09, Reply)

'manpon', please

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:43, Reply)

i refer you to my earlier email
a dark and a twisted place!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:46, Reply)

*prouds*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:02, Reply)

I was wondering where you were

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Adjusting my 'manpon'.
It got a bit messy - I had to poke my guts back in with a wooden spoon. Took a while but I got there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Christ almighty
what's this new girl been doing to you?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:06, Reply)

Bit of light 'Barrymoreing', nothing major.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:07, Reply)

*sings*
What's the story with Barrymoreing,
Wouldn't you like to know,
What's the story with Barrymoreing,
Where does this chairleg go?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 19:50, Reply)

Either way, she's got a point
I do appear to be uncharacteristically "manstrual" this afternoon.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Do what I do
yell
OH MY GOD THEN WHAT?
At the end of every sentence. When the eventually go "err.. then nothing"
you go
OH MY GOD.......THEN WHAT?
Eventually no one will ever talk to you again
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:10, Reply)

It's a foolproof plan.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:11, Reply)

OH MY GOD, THEN WHAT?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:11, Reply)

*high five*

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:11, Reply)

*trigger fingers*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:12, Reply)

Did you do the clicking sound too?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:14, Reply)

naa, I fail at things like that
I was going to write something else in here, but it would've left me too open to strikethrough
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:19, Reply)

strikethough bumming.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:20, Reply)

not far off the mark

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:23, Reply)

Then I punched you in the face

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:13, Reply)

:-(
why are you so mean to me?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:13, Reply)

Because I love you

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:15, Reply)

sadist

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:17, Reply)

It's spelled 'saddest'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:44, Reply)

OMG
that's why I'm mean to you!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:17, Reply)

OH MY GOD
then what
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:19, Reply)

then we made out

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:20, Reply)

...

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:20, Reply)

sorry

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:22, Reply)

As soon as the cat's away
The mice will play
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:24, Reply)

kitty knows that what me and her have is the real thing


almost managed a straight face while typing that
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Wait a sec, I'm so confused, there is too much juicy gossip going on at once.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:26, Reply)

Kitty and Vipros are going to elope
But Vipros is stringing TGB along
Neither of them are his sister, that I know of.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:27, Reply)

I'm keeping my options open
you are correct though, neither of them are my sister.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:29, Reply)

SHE IS NOT EVEN MY SISTER ! IT DOESN'T COUNT ! SHE IS ONLY MY HALF SISTER !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:31, Reply)

So only the tip is ok?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Poor Lab, his 'tip' being 'half', poorer mrs lab.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Half?
You do me a great honour!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:34, Reply)

which half?
it makes all the difference.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:33, Reply)

face penis
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:27, Reply)

If I ask then what
it doesn't mean I want to know

Then what?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:21, Reply)

you fucking voyeur

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:22, Reply)

you're an Anne McCaffrey fan
you're in no position to judge.

How did you get in that position anyway? I think it's called gasping hippopotamus
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:23, Reply)

what has that got to do with it?
and you have gone to tenuous there I think. Reel it back a bit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:24, Reply)

I was using the best measure
of moral turpitude. You failed.

How too tenuous? I was relating position to judge, with position in general on account of you calling me a voyeur

/Chompy
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:25, Reply)

I was not aware that it was measured in that way
I can only offer my apologies
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:28, Reply)

accepted
it's a common illness
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:30, Reply)

Short of being rude, not really
I just stick my headphones in if I'm not in the mood to talk to people. Or apologise and say I'm busy, i.e., lie.
(berk, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:14, Reply)

my phone has been "fucked up" for a long time now
meaning, whenever someone calls I text back and say I can't talk but can text

silly phone
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:18, Reply)

This helps.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:19, Reply)

WANT.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:34, Reply)

lots of things would stop them talking to you
eg ask their opinion on a disastrous relationship query or a recent dreadful sexual experience.

but you won't of course, you'll just carry on nodding and being polite and dying a little inside with every. dull. word.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:21, Reply)

You're exactly right, of course
And I will just sit there trying to remember to say "Yes," at appropriate gaps in their endless deluge of words. There are just some days when I wonder if I'm going to just give up and ask them whether they can't just give it a fucking rest.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:34, Reply)

the number of times i sit there with clients
and inside my head i am screaming "i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care" but somehow externally i am smiling and being uber-charming.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:49, Reply)

I swear I used to be good at that
I'm sure at one point, even if I do say so myself, I must have had a level of patience comparable with a saint. Trouble is, I don't know where it's gone. Quite how you can still do it is beyond me, especially given how often you have to deal with the general public.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:58, Reply)

You guys have given me so many complexes over the last few days, it's like a convention of self awareness or something.
Surely I'm not _that_ dull?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:24, Reply)

Gonz you pretty much carte blanche to do and say whatever you please in my opinion.
you are a handy fella to know.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:26, Reply)

Ace !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Kill them

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:25, Reply)

become one of those pricks
who always has a bigger problem or a more exaggerated tale of horseshit. We all know at least one.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:26, Reply)

I know someone way worse at that than you

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Pfft, you should meet my friend *Fiveskin*! He's well worse

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Fiveskin ! I don't even have a forskin !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Yeah, but get to have challah bread.


I know which one I'd rather eat.
(Cave Duck, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Yeah, but Bert appears to have buggered off for the time being...

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:32, Reply)

He claimed to have 5 logins
BE VIGILANT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Fuck Off Bert!
Sorry, sorry, hair-trigger at the moment
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:56, Reply)

you know my thoughts
there aren't many of them.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:59, Reply)

I am hungry
I need a poo/wee
I am tired

That's the lot, right?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:05, Reply)

i fancy a smoke crops up fairly regularly

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:09, Reply)

smoke man
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:30, Reply)

For the supervisor a massive hippopotamus-like yawn.
For the colleague you hold up one finger to shush her, shift your weight in the chair and fart loudly. Then bid her carry on, she'll probably have lost her train of thought. If she hasn't and still won't give it up then make your apologies and say you need to go check if that one went a bit 3D.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:39, Reply)

^ "went a bit 3D"
has lifted my spirits no end.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:42, Reply)

Anyone comes near you, start Lord's Prayering.
So fucking easy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:56, Reply)

I may have to try this, thanks Monty. Thonty.

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:58, Reply)

Works for me on the bus each morning.
Never once have I had to stand - seat every time...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:04, Reply)

Hah, just discovered Look Around You?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:25, Reply)

I love Look Around You

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:57, Reply)

never heard of it

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 18:00, Reply)

It's a wonderfully versatile solution to life's little problems, isn't it?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 16:59, Reply)

I think the Middle East should look to this as a possible peacemaker.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:09, Reply)

See, I always thought a beer festival, as I've always found those to be very friendly environments
But then beer and pork scratchings would be a lot more expensive than simply photocopying a few hundred prayer sheets, lining them up on either side of the Gaza strip and giving them the order for a synchronised tugathon.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:18, Reply)

Giving Muslims beer and Jews pork scratchings?
Come on, think about it.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:19, Reply)

If they could put those petty dietary restrictions aside
then I'm sure within a few hours they'd be able to put their differences aside as well.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:22, Reply)

You don't eat pigs
we don't eat pigs...
(berk, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:24, Reply)

But we all eat chicken!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:24, Reply)

Oy veh! We have so much in common!

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:25, Reply)

The correct next line was
'lets all not eat pigs together'. Tch. Know your Minchin, guys.
(berk, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:26, Reply)

Ah. Must admit I've yet to 'discover' Minchin's work.
I was initially put off due to the physical similarities between him and Russell "Effeminate Mincing Cockend with a Beard" Brand. Though a reliable source has recently assured me that Minchin is fundamentally different in actually being quite funny, so I'm prepared to stand corrected.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:30, Reply)

I've not watched Russell Brand
because I suspect I'd get angry at the mincing great poof and chuck things at the tv. Minchin's pretty good, although the dvd he released really isn't that great a show - I saw him on the same tour and the one I saw live was way better. I'll burn you a copy of his cd, if you like?
(berk, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:34, Reply)

Yeah, got to be worth a try.
I might take you up on that offer.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:41, Reply)

No worries :)
Either gaz me your address and I'll post it or wait a month and I'll bring it to the bash.
(berk, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:45, Reply)

Save yourself the postage - I'll come and pester you for it at the bash
Ta kindly!
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:47, Reply)

Haha, in retrospect
I guess you probably shouldn't give your address to strange women from the internet!
(berk, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 21:32, Reply)

did you see him at Sonisphere?
very entertaining.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:57, Reply)

Very shit, you mean.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 18:03, Reply)

He's shit. Trust me.
Brand is merely shitter.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:58, Reply)

Become a bandsaw operator.
That way you won't be able to hear anyone talk, never mind be bored by them.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 19:15, Reply)