More like FUCK OFF, CHRISTMAS.
(sorry Kristine).

Christmas starts in bloody December and that's it.

More importantly it's my birthday next week (my real one). (I was going to calendar it, but I don't know any of you lovely folk well enough...and those that I do know, I fear. Maybe next year.) The one present I know I'm getting?

A Big Bag Of Crabs, straight from weebl. I'm so proud of my girlfriend.




Hee hee. My girlfriend's giving me crabs.

Alt Q: Vent your moral outrage about seeing a picture of Santa or something this early in the year.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 21:49, 162 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

It's my real birthday on Thursday.
Being sooner than your birthday, this makes my birthday king of the 'more importantly' statements.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 21:51, Reply)

OMG WE'RE TWINS

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 21:53, Reply)

You don't mean......?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 21:54, Reply)

Yes.
It's me, brother.
Now, to cement our reunion, let's fuck.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 21:55, Reply)

Shut it, Bert.
(I played that well to get the Bert comment out first).

So, your birthday on the 23rd as well. How many earth years will ths mark?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 21:56, Reply)

Hahaha, that was the reaction I was looking for :)
Erm, 20. Yeah, people born in the 1990s are reaching their second decade. That's NOT right.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:01, Reply)

You're telling me. I'm seven years older than you.

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:02, Reply)

Everyone's older than me, apart from Applebite
and she's only a week younger.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:07, Reply)

Well pity me
turning 22 soon :( downhill from here
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:10, Reply)

You still have your looks
I lost mine at 16.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:11, Reply)

pfft nonsense
being spoken right here, on both counts. I was a beautiful child and we all know what that means,

I was ravished by Gary Glitter, and was a raddled old hag by 12
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:12, Reply)

Stop making me feel old.
_{Whippersnappers}
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:23, Reply)

27 ent that old.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:28, Reply)

You kidding? I'm only a General Humanities degree away from being thirty!

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:32, Reply)

Christ.
I'll be 36.

I'd retired as a paperboy by the time you were born.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:08, Reply)

There are premiership footballers younger than me though.
That's scary.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:11, Reply)

There are football managers younger than me.
When I was a lad, shouting 'come one son' to a winger who was old enough to by my father was amsuing.

Now I just look like a parent.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:13, Reply)

yes you're
Denwin's halfsister's wife's doctor's cousin's niece
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 21:57, Reply)

?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:00, Reply)

one of my favourite sketches
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bV3tfauw3vQ
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:01, Reply)

That made me smile.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:07, Reply)

I'm a big fan
of a bit of Fry and Laurie
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:11, Reply)

I don't recall watching it often when I was younger.
It probably clashed with something else I watched.

I might give it a re-visit on YouTube.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:12, Reply)

I can recommend some good clips if you want

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:13, Reply)

Knock yourself out if you've got any classics worth a view.
I stumbled across The Fast Show again the other day, that made me laugh again.

BRILLIANT!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:17, Reply)

The sketch with Johnny Depp
was pure class in that.

Here are four of my favourite sketches (all quite short) to give a taste of the show

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrGRBso3_Lc
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJJ82yKWs_8
www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOQP3czk6nY
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6riY-103vbc
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:20, Reply)

Thanks for that.
YouTube isn't playing ball for me at the moment, but I'll look at them all a bit later on.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:28, Reply)

I actually get really really excited about christmas really early, then when it gets close I fucking hate it.
It's like one of the worst days of the year.
That and Thanksfuckinggiving.

I'm very excited for Halloween though. My roommates birthday is first of November and they always have her birthday party at halloween. Pimps and Hoes theme this year. I've never been to a themed party. I've no idea how to dress like a prostitute.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:00, Reply)

Christmas is just a Sunday roast with arguments.
I hate it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:11, Reply)

Sounds like *somebody* needs a big Christmastown hug!
Let's turn that frown upside down!
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:22, Reply)

Cheers.
FLANDERS.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:31, Reply)

No problem.
GRINCH.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:33, Reply)

Meh.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:35, Reply)

Heh.
Since you're the birthday importance king, are you looking forward to *that*?
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:38, Reply)

tesco do start
with the massive boxes of chocolates etc in about august. i thought they were being pikey bastards still selling last year's out of date christmas stock. then i realised it was this year's stock.

how is everyone this evening? i am feeling sore but happy after punching the shit out of the punchbag in the gym.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:16, Reply)

With the new gloves?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:18, Reply)

nope
the whole package of gloves, ball, mat, rope, trainers etc is still somewhere in john lewis.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:20, Reply)

I'm excellent thanks
had a good day?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:21, Reply)

hello you
not so bad, got the most ridiculously busy week or so coming up, making the most of being home sober and before midnight! having a good night?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:28, Reply)

that sounds strangely relaxing
and workethicful!

I am thank you. I'm very cheerful
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:38, Reply)

any exciting reason for being cheerful?
meh, i have an 8am meeting, so i have to be sensible and in bed by 1am at the latest. stupid clients suing people!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:39, Reply)

nothing especially exciting
just a lot of small things adding up. It's a nice feeling.

Suing people, put them in their place! Carrying your cheque to the bank
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:41, Reply)

nice
good to be positive. there's enough negativity around!

true, and it's quite an amusing case, i guess. as you might find out at some point if you do decide to pursue the legal thing...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:51, Reply)

Also, slim possibility of a date
I hope so. Is it still okay if I gaz that CV to you at some point? I'm trying to polish it a bit (not much can be done to a piece of shit however)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:54, Reply)

date sounds good, anyone very exciting??
of course, there's no time limit on it, whenever you're ready!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:58, Reply)

He's good-looking and funny
probably not interested, but it's worth taking the risk on this one I reckon.

And thanks!
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:00, Reply)

two very important qualities in a man
good luck with that!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:04, Reply)

Cheers
will let you know how it goes (if it happens at all)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:06, Reply)

They might never be knowingly beaten on price.
But the delivery sounds a bit iffy.

How long did you box for?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:24, Reply)

serves me right for taking the free delivery 5 day option
it was an hour's PT session so about 20 mins boxing? it's so knackering! although not very feminine.

i mean, i spent the evening crocheting lace doilies.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:26, Reply)

More women should learn how to hit things.
Nothing more feminine than a perfectly-judged and flawlessly delivered boot to the baws.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:28, Reply)

You forget the 'slap' round the face.
A good one with leave a cracking hand print and result in the recipient having to buy new specs.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:30, Reply)

Even if they didn't need them before.

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:31, Reply)

That is more likely if the 'slapper' has nails.
Tell ya, they are a vicious breed. I'm almost glad to be single.

Bar the lack of regular sex, someone to cuddle and talk to and someone to care for.

But aside from that. I'm well off out of it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:33, Reply)

you mean
never getting the bed to yourself, having the duvet stolen, having to listen to the same shite about people you don't know and care about that they happen to work with and act as if you care, not being able to go out whenever you feel like it but always having to answer to someone else, having to spend your weekends doing things like going to christenings and seeing their parents when all you really want to do is scratch your balls and watch a bit of porn.

am i making you feel any better??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:37, Reply)

Were we married?
This all sounds so very very familiar.

Was my ex the exception or the rule?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:39, Reply)

there are great things about being single
make them most of them, you'll miss them when you stumble back into the beartrap, imo.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:41, Reply)

Apart from being able to scratch my nads and watch internet porn.
Care to list any/many of them?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:43, Reply)

independence
free time
not having to spend time with friends/relatives of the other half that you aren't so keen on
not feeling guilty about spending money
holidays with friends
spontaneity
getting a proper uninterrupted night's sleep
being able to flirt with lots of different people

ok some of them might sound a bit selfish but that's the fun of being single, it's lots of time to enjoy yourself!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:46, Reply)

You're right in some respects.
But I'm not getting any younger. And I'm no oil painting.

I'm skint and most of my mated are webbed up with significant others (or starting families).

My 'plan' at the moment, is to try and relocate. I think that'll kick-start me as I'm bored with things at the moment, and have been for some time. A new challenge is in order, especially one that'll make me go out and meet new people and have some new adventures.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:52, Reply)

the more you worry about being single
the more it will come across. massive cliche but totally true.

anyone decent won't give a fuck if you are skint. but relocating if you're feeling a bit jaded can be a great idea. doesn't have to be permanent.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:56, Reply)

Quite agree.
Career has stalled over the last couple of years, which I blame (in part) on the other shit I've had going on, and relocating will give me the chance to dedicate sufficient time to get back to trying to get where I want to be.

Relocating is my focus at the minute.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:59, Reply)

from where to where?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:04, Reply)

From Bristol
To where the best opportunity is.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:08, Reply)

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell
i've never hit anyone or anything (brothers don't count) in my life before. but if you insist on being a human punchbag, at least you're pink so you'll match my brand new gloves.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:35, Reply)

I'm not pink.
Haven't you seen my profile pic?
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:37, Reply)

not yet
but whatever colour you are to start with, you'll be pink by the time my gloves are finished with you!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:38, Reply)

Well, once the gloves get delivered.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:42, Reply)

which better be tomorrow
or else.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:44, Reply)

They 'never knowingly beaten' claim will be put to the test?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:45, Reply)

It will in my case.
She sounds determined to use me as a beating-receptacle.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:51, Reply)

i'll be gentle

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:51, Reply)

Oooh.
Well make sure you both agree a code-word before you start.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:53, Reply)

PINK!!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:55, Reply)

No...that's what you'll be screaming with every blow landed by your new pink gloves.
"Pink!", you'll cry in glee as the first fist crashes into my chest. "Pink!", as the other hand delivers a crashing thwack! to my stomach. "Pink! Pink! PINK!" as blows rain down on me like...rain. My feeble plea of the safeword is lost in your maddened screaming, and the last word I hear as I slip into unconsciousness is...


'guzurnplat', cause you broke my brain.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:59, Reply)

that's quite a detailed fantasy!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:05, Reply)

Well, obviously when I say more women should hit things
I mean those things should be me.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:10, Reply)

so just the one thing then!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:19, Reply)

Hoy! How dare you call me a 'thing'?

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:37, Reply)

You could always try ducking.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:34, Reply)

Is that like Dogging?
Or have I missed yet another point?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:36, Reply)

No, I just meant ducking to avoid the oncoming hand.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:37, Reply)

Gotcha.
/returns the duck-calling-hunting-aid-thingy to the box, and gets out of the car.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:40, Reply)

course you did, sweetheart
course you did
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:40, Reply)

I'm not a pervert, you know.
Not much.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:47, Reply)

only when you think
no-one can see.

Well at least you're not an exhibitionist
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:49, Reply)

Well I am, but only in the company of similar exhibitionists.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:51, Reply)

so, b3ta then.
christ what an image, all this lot exhibiting themselves...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:52, Reply)

:S thanks for that image

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:53, Reply)

i don't want to feel sick
all by myself!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:54, Reply)

It'd be a dirty-mac convention

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:57, Reply)

at least that would cover up
most of the "exhibition".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:00, Reply)

true
but wait til you hear the marking categories

length of flashing, closeness of escape from the police, dirtiness of mac, shrivelledness of genitals.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:02, Reply)

fuck that is rancid
i have my suspicions as to who would win each category already
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:05, Reply)

Same.
Just be careful they don't ask you to adjudicate
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:07, Reply)

my eyes, my eyes

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:11, Reply)

Then it's more of a competition

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:52, Reply)

It certainly makes some Leeds venues rather interesting of a Friday.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:00, Reply)

so that's where you congregate

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:38, Reply)

20 minutes boxing is just shy of 7 rounds.
Done any sparring at all, or is it all bag work?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:29, Reply)

most of it is belting the trainer
i think she is scared of me though, she thinks she has created a monster.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:34, Reply)

Brilliant.
If she advertised that service to men, she'd save a lot of women who've failed to get the dinner ready in time a lot of aggro.*

*Any men reading this. JTDF does not whack women, neither should you. Ever.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:37, Reply)

arsenal 4 spuds 1

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:50, Reply)

duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude
i had that on sky plus record to watch in a minute, thanks for ruining the suspense...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:52, Reply)

Ah, this thread

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:54, Reply)

hola chico

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:54, Reply)

gid ovening

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:56, Reply)

how are you feeling tonight my fine plummy friend?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:59, Reply)

I'm good thanks swipester
watching This is England '86.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:02, Reply)

I've just put it on.
Having Sky+'ed it.

I've not been convinced by the series so far. What do you think? (Without telling me what happened tonight).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:05, Reply)

I wasn't keen on the comedy emphasis of the first two episodes
Tonight's is not as light hearted.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:07, Reply)

what is that?
football-related presumably? i am watching "family guy" and eating a waitrose cloudy lemonade ice lolly.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:07, Reply)

Nothing to do with football
I don't really get football, I'm the thinking woman's crumpet.

It's a TV sequel to the Shane Meadows film.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:08, Reply)

You are Francis Wilson
AICMFP
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:10, Reply)

and there i thought i was a thinking woman
damn
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:11, Reply)

I can categorically state that I am not Sir Francis Wilson.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:12, Reply)

Well I still want the fiver.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:12, Reply)

hmmm ok
but that's just what someone who was him would say.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:18, Reply)

I am 30, I don't rock the jeans and suit jacket look and I am very good looking
Therefore I am not Francis Wilson.

Alternatively, find someone that always tells the truth, someone that always lies and ask them both what the other one would say if you asked them if I was Francis Wilson.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:20, Reply)

i need to google him, don't i?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:26, Reply)

If you must.
He's no competition though.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:30, Reply)

You've pulled.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:12, Reply)

Ouch.
Would you like to know the minutes you might want to skip to?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:55, Reply)

i was kidding
trying to make him feel bad. but he has just buggered off. typical bloke!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:59, Reply)

He is probably throwing up on the bathroom floor.
He'll be back to tell us he'll need to clean it up in a minute!

Come on Bobby. Where are you mate?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:01, Reply)

rach I'm so sorry, who do you support.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:06, Reply)

utd
but i am from manchester, so it's ok!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:07, Reply)

I don't know if we can be pretend internet friends anymore

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:08, Reply)

is that all we were to one another?
i'd better shred those wedding invites then.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:10, Reply)

whoa whoa whoa
cool your jets, what kind of wedding were you thinking?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:11, Reply)

caribbean beach
followed by an almighty piss-up?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:13, Reply)

Fuck it yeah why not.
Jeff is my best man. And Darth can be your matron of honour.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:15, Reply)

i deserve better than someone
who responds to the idea with "yeah fuck it why not". you marry darth and i'll be the bridesmaid?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:17, Reply)

What a cad he is.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:17, Reply)

works for me.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:18, Reply)

Obviously not, she turned you down.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:22, Reply)

i'll marry you instead

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:24, Reply)

good girl

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:25, Reply)

so many puns here
i can't decide which to say
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:30, Reply)

floozy

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:26, Reply)

you turned me down

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:29, Reply)

Can I go on the hen party and the stag do?
I want to meet more women.

(I'm honoured by the way.)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:20, Reply)

you have to wear a dress on the hen do.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:22, Reply)

oooh.
Will it be on a Wednesday?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:23, Reply)

b3tans?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:24, Reply)

we're the best
let there be no suggestions otherwise ;)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:26, Reply)

evening
in my head you are all part of an evil coven.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:27, Reply)

absolutely accurate
you will make a good lawyer!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:29, Reply)

and I can refer you to pages
1-387 of /offtopic to prove my point haha.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:32, Reply)

I thought Old Trafford was 'just outside' Manchester?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:09, Reply)

so is london
come to that
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:10, Reply)

I live in Bristol I can't talk

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:12, Reply)

haha
this is true on two levels.

alriiiiiiiiiight my loverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:13, Reply)

Luckily due to public school I don't have a twang
much more than two levels here.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:16, Reply)

Was it not the West Ham supporters, who, when playing at home to United
Sang in the final minutes of the game..

'You'll be home in a minute, home in a minute, you'll be home in a minute'...?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:14, Reply)

i think
it's a fairly common chant! makes me laugh though.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:16, Reply)

The best football chant I've ever heard was at Ashton Gate
When the first female lines(wo)man Wendy Toms somehow managed to dislocate her shoulder whilst waving her flag.

That'll be 8,000 people, supporters of both team chanting...

'You should have stayed in the kitchen, stayed in the kitchen... You should have stayed in the kitchen'

Wrong, yes. But funny.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:18, Reply)

The worst one I heard was at your ground
City v Rovers when Ollie was in charge.

"you're deaf, you're dumb,
you're rovers number 1"

mean
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:20, Reply)

Oooh, there have been some shocking chants in those games.
Ian Holloway has 2 deaf children.

'Can Holloways kids hear us sing? No, No...'

Awful.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:22, Reply)

my first ever game when i was 8
was just before utd sacked big ron. as he walked onto the pitch, the crowd started yelling, "you're big, you're fat, you're gonna get the sack, atkinson..." i was horrified!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:22, Reply)

big linesman
got it when he was lumbering up and down a few years ago. topically, the crowd started singing, "we saw ya swimming in the thames..."
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:23, Reply)

When the football got cancelled after Lady Di popped her clogs....
The match after (the following weekend), there was the minutes silence.

Every goal, throw-in, free-kick, corner and booking was met with a chorus of...

'It's what she would have wanted! It's what she would have wanted!'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 23:32, Reply)