I'm writing a comic for a student magazine
and I have a concept for a guy called the Duke of Funk. He wears a huge top hat, aviators, a frock coat, ruffled shirt, flares and platform shoes with musical notation on them, and has a massive cigar, a ponytail and a sabre. He is an impossibly good dancer and of questionable sexuality.

His nemesis is a guy called the Dope Pope, who wears a pope hat with a cannabis leaf on it and looks generally like the pope as a stoner. His favourite evil action is to fire his opponents out of a huge gun gloating "prepare to be cannonised!".

Other possible characters include the Viscount of Groove and the Phat Controller. 70s slang prevails throughout. The question is, would you want to see this turned into an illustrated storyline?
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:35, 114 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

No.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:45, Reply)

no

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:45, Reply)

In an ideal world
no.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:47, Reply)

Justin Bieber is wildly successful, David Cameron is Prime Minister and natural disasters plague Asia
It is not an ideal world and as such I'm going to send you all my concept art and invite myself round for dinner.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:11, Reply)

ha!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:12, Reply)

Don't laugh too hard.
You're cooking.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:25, Reply)

am i?
I'm in bed. Feels lonely without your girlfriend in here with me
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:30, Reply)

I quite like Camroon !
He's a nice fella with a hard job.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 12:13, Reply)

I was once one of three beatboxing orcs
hope this helps
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:48, Reply)

I have a Biz Markie
beatboxing alarm clock that I bought in New York.

hope THAT helps
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:57, Reply)

*comment about beating my box*
hope THAT helps
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:06, Reply)

*helps*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:12, Reply)

Immensely

(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:05, Reply)

i'm not gonna lie to you
i wouldn't read it without thinking WHY.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:34, Reply)

Yes I dearly would.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:43, Reply)

hola chico

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:46, Reply)

Evening Rachel.
How are you?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:46, Reply)

i am much happier
now i am curled up on my sofa and not at work any more... worst saturday night EVER!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:48, Reply)

what happened?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:48, Reply)

short answer: being at work on a saturday!
long answer, am off next week so had lots to do. plan was to leave niece's 4th birthday party early, do a few hours, then dad and brother were staying over for dinner. in reality (i) i got so trashed thu and fri night that i slept in and got to the party too late to leave early; (ii) dad was ill and couldn't come down to london; so (iii) i was at work until 11pm.

god i'm dull please disregard the above!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:52, Reply)

Oh dear
Sounds like a tough few days.

You into house at all?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:53, Reply)

music? or tv show?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:55, Reply)

music baby, music

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:56, Reply)

oh
i'll happily listen to anything but i'd be lying to look cooler than i am if i said i knew much about it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:58, Reply)

There's a tune going round at the moment by Art Department that is really rather good.
Here www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrtqXg8dAMA
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:59, Reply)

Puh-leese
www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8wokfoyHf4
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:03, Reply)

Monty dear boy, I will see your Set It Off and raise you...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-iLG8UmSes

Old but simply fantastic.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:06, Reply)

I win.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWyG5p87--E
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:06, Reply)

Needs moar Whitney Houston

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:07, Reply)

*smokes crack*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:09, Reply)

How funny
I posted my link without following yours.

*shakes hands*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:08, Reply)

*shakes warmly and smiles suavely*

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:09, Reply)

ok
my knackered old laptop says that this version of IE is not supported by youtube. and i can't get my shiny new pink one online because i have no idea what my wireless password is.

ideas???
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:06, Reply)

Buy records.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:06, Reply)

but i only have an ipod
i am useless
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:08, Reply)

Use Google Chrome instead of IE
And stop being so hot.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:08, Reply)

hahahahaha
right now i am wearing a very old pink/mauve long-sleeved t-shirt and fluffy pink socks and balancing poppadums and houmous on my lap because i am too lazy to put them on the table. hot or not? i think not!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:09, Reply)

I think so.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:09, Reply)

now i am pink/mauve

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:14, Reply)

good girl

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:14, Reply)

go on then
i'll seductively peel off the socks for that
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:17, Reply)

*suavely raises eyebrow*

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:18, Reply)

done
and i've also binned off the houmous/poppadums. it just gets better.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:23, Reply)

The only way it would be better is if you needed a foot massage

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:27, Reply)

i prefer
head massages. i love having my head/neck massaged and hair messed with. unless i've been to the hairdresser. then it's touch and die a slow fiery death.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:29, Reply)

You win
I back off defeated and will never darken your convos again.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:30, Reply)

we both know you don't mean that!
at least, you'd better not.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:34, Reply)

Rejection does that to a man.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:36, Reply)

it was a suggestion
not a rejection
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:39, Reply)

Do you have any other suggestions?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:40, Reply)

loads
but they're more of a fifth date kind of thing!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:44, Reply)

You're a saucy bird Rachel.
I like that.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:47, Reply)

i am actually
very sweet and innocent
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:48, Reply)

I prefer saucy.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:49, Reply)

i refer you
to the knee high socks
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:57, Reply)

The legendary knee high socks.
anyway baby, I gotta go to bed. see you around sometime.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:58, Reply)

ciao bella

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 1:02, Reply)

*withers*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:10, Reply)

hey Monty
www.youtube.com/watch?v=THCj2AJuNVE
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:13, Reply)

Yes?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gROQ6fLOiCQ
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:17, Reply)

*throws some shapes*
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXCN1DhHTZA&feature=related
( girlinthehole, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:20, Reply)

I saw a live PA of that before it was released.
I also own this:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1osmmBncHU

It cost me a fucking fortune.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:22, Reply)

Your daughter's legacy?
I have an original 12" release of Jam master flash and the furious five's 'The message'. I'm hoping it will be worth something before I die.
( girlinthehole, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:27, Reply)

That record
was a pivotal moment in my life.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:30, Reply)

nice
but I'll raise you

www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6dxYka2tRk
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:20, Reply)

*wins again*
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLtlZHaHrMw
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:24, Reply)

Uh, produced by Primo and with Mos between Cosby Mysteries and H2G2.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycJ5m5Mt9JE
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:26, Reply)

I bought this:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjfYXyAlrk8

the day it came out.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:29, Reply)

Good man.
Mos Def is an excellent rapper- impeccable flow and intelligent lyrics.

Not going to link me to any Pendulum?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:31, Reply)

No, I like you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:33, Reply)

That was piss funny when that Foxtrot fellow was marvelling at Pendulum.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:35, Reply)

sorry monty
i meant, killer heels and hold-up fishnets with purple satin trim at the top, a matching purple push up bra, two glasses of champagne, two premium lines the size of cigarettes and nothing else.

is that better?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:14, Reply)

*has aneurism*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:15, Reply)

can't you put out first?
god how selfish
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:18, Reply)

*makes miraculous recovery*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:20, Reply)

that's much much much
more like it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:22, Reply)

*calls cab firm back, gets bollocking for time-wasting,
assures controller this time I mean it*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:33, Reply)

you're as bad as me with your taxi fetish
just bribe me sufficiently, i'll pick you up in the batmobile.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:35, Reply)

My taxi fetish
is the least of your problems *orders troupe of midgets*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:41, Reply)

weirdly
i once got booted off a VIP table in mahiki for david gest. who had brought with him a troupe of dancing thai midgets.

monty........................... you're not david gest are you??????? i don't think my heart could stand it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:43, Reply)

Even I
am not that repugnant.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:48, Reply)

actually
i've heard you are genuinely quite hot.

and it wasn't even you who said it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:57, Reply)

You shouldn't believe The Internet.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 1:20, Reply)

What is your obsession with *describes action in 3rd person surrounded by asterisks*?
I would have thought you hated them.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:44, Reply)

*takes a sharp intake of breath, suavely*

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:45, Reply)

*readies her fists*
*adjusts knuckledusters*
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:45, Reply)

*puts on some Pendulum*
*dies*
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:46, Reply)

*chooses the mountains every time you choose the sea*
*sobs, a little*
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:47, Reply)

what?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:48, Reply)

Continuing the music theme, dear boy.
I was doing a bit of a Cave Duck
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:49, Reply)

No doubt
that's a 'Skins' reference
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:49, Reply)

Bugger off, y' gimmer.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:50, Reply)

You have to forgive me,
I'm from 'The South'.

What?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:52, Reply)

Old man,
or a 1-2 year old ewe. Take your pick.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:52, Reply)

Foreskins reference more like.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:51, Reply)

Hey, only one of the people there was a massive bellend.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:52, Reply)

Nonononono, it was better before.
Do you have any gwakamoli? I fucking love gwakilmoi, I like it home made so you get lumpy bits and smooth bits and silky. Was the condiments wresting on your left or right thigh, or down the centre on a tray with a cushoon under it and a nice moteef of a photo of some pebbles or maybe a picture of a dog? Oh god, I love that mental image so much. Are your pink fluffy socks from Morgan? Morgan socks are so sexy, the way they have 'morgan' written on them. On your top, is the label really silky, and is it on the left or the right side? I like it when it's on the right side because it frees up my right hand to hold a ciggerette or a can of 'v'.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Dirty Robber:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-jIgS2KYwE
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:15, Reply)

no
youtu.be/Q3bW3W6P5Uo
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:37, Reply)

you're back!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:39, Reply)

still working?
How's that going for you?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:40, Reply)

no thank fuck
finished about 11. gash.

how was your evening?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:42, Reply)

Rubbish I came third and only won my money back.
Just got home and watching telly with a spliff and a cider. Surprised you are in on a Saturday?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:44, Reply)

it's because
i had family plans but my father was a bit ill. so i stayed at work because i am on holiday next week. prob for the best though, thu/fri nights were pretty wild so my liver might have packed up if i'd pushed more vodka on top of him tonight.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:47, Reply)

sorry about your old man.
You see your liver as a man? Where are you going on holiday you lucky fuck?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:50, Reply)

oh
oxford. i'm doing a masters, which for some reason i thought i had time for as well as my 23 hour a day job! got 4 days of seminars...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:55, Reply)

do you ever turn down from 11?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:58, Reply)

que?
sorry, don't get you!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 1:02, Reply)

you are always on the go
do you ever just stop?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 1:03, Reply)

oh!
no, never. i can't bear doing nothing, i'm useless at relaxing!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 1:04, Reply)

You are a crazy mentallist and I am baffled by you!
Kudos though for being driven. I am going to bed my legs have turned to stone.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 1:08, Reply)

night then!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 1:09, Reply)

Needs more breasts.

( broadsword, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 7:53, Reply)

It will certainly be better than
Badger and Hedgehog, The Angry Blob, that one that was a ripoff of Softer World, Wheelbarrow Marrow and any of the other cartoons that have been on the back of -------- since about 2005.

Now, anyone who can name the student magazine wins a tub of whipped cream and 500 Turkish cigarettes.


I should also point out to people that the concept is semi-autobiographical.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 9:49, Reply)