thread jack
having a ladies party in a couple weeks, does anyone have any special drink or snack recipes they can throw at me?
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 19:55, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Custard tarts.
How dirty you wanna get?
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 19:56, Reply)

well you've caught my attention

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:02, Reply)

I was being silly : )

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:21, Reply)

well there'll be loads of tarts
just need the custard....

you should totally come by
Oct 23rd, 6:30
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:28, Reply)

Try my best : )

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:36, Reply)

totally having champagne
in your honor
so you must be there
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:39, Reply)

Orange squash and cheese straws used to be very popular at my parties.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 19:57, Reply)

I said recipes not random food suggestions
sheesh
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:01, Reply)

Well, I was truly taking the piss
but now you mention it: www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/cheesestrawswithonio_77887
The recipe for orange squash is usually on the back of the bottle.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:02, Reply)

of what bottle?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:05, Reply)

Think liquid koolaid.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:08, Reply)

you're clearly talking about something I can't get
thanks for being helpful
xx
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:16, Reply)

Just a couple of bottles of gin should be all you need.
If they are class ladies, then Baileys.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 19:57, Reply)

Urgh, Bailey;s.
My first alcoholic drink. Blurgh.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:00, Reply)

Yes, but it wasn't your last, was it?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:02, Reply)

My last drink was what I termed "ginto"
You guessed it, gin and fizzy Vimto.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:04, Reply)

This makes me pleased I don't drink (much) any more.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:05, Reply)

It's very nice, Mr Noel.
I'll have you know.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:07, Reply)

Heeee the chaps at work call me Mr Noel.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:10, Reply)

Really?
Also, I had a weird counseling technique tried out on me today. I failed miserably. It was almost entertaining if I wasn't panicking.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:11, Reply)

I'm intrigued.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:15, Reply)

He made me tap my hand on the table in a rhythmical manner
and speak without sentence structure or whatever, just freely, and he'd see what I said and what it meant.

As I said, it's interesting, but impossible :/
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:18, Reply)

Isn't that CBT?

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:20, Reply)

Most likely

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:20, Reply)

In a sort of Basil Brush way?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:13, Reply)

Nah, in a traditional Pakistani way.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:14, Reply)

Ah, the "It aint half hot mum" situation.
Just respond by moving your head in a mysterious way.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:20, Reply)

I actually do that.
I've spent the past three years in an office with these guys, you pick up stuff. I generally get the gist of what they're talking about when they're speaking Urdu, and I know some key phrases without having learned any.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:28, Reply)

Alcohol is a sin.
And very boring.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:09, Reply)

Whereas massive drugs just make you boring to other people.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:10, Reply)

He was told to take the pledge.
Instead he drinks Pledge.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:12, Reply)

Give me having a class and/or surreal lengthy conversation with someone else also off their tits than staggering round like a drunk twat anyway.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:18, Reply)

Don't get me wrong
I'll happily puff away and talk codshit with like-minded puffers. It's the chewing, glassy-eyed class-a bores who won't remember a fucking thing the next day I can't stand.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:32, Reply)

I see your point.
I hate drunk people when I'm sober. But then again I'm a dreadful drunk.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:12, Reply)

i'm an awesome drunk
probably
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:21, Reply)

Will you be bashing at some point?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:22, Reply)

CHCB's one in Bristol, probably
assuming I can get the next day off work

(current likelyhood is I can, but not get paid for it)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:24, Reply)

I'm most likely not doing that one.
Do London at some point, you can teach me to crochet and I'll get drunk and punchy.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:31, Reply)

perhaps if there is one in school holidays
and I can find somewhere to stay, then maybe. I'm guessing the alternative - that I declare a bash in Swansea - is unlikely to go well
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:48, Reply)

I've just been hassling her on the very subject.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:28, Reply)

Pure class you are lassie.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:07, Reply)

What's the difference between that and, say, lemonade?
They're both fizzy and come in bottles from cornershops.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:07, Reply)

I rest my case.
The mixer is to enhance the flavour of the spirit, not mask it.

This sounds very condescending, and it is. Stick to what you like.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:10, Reply)

Mhm.
But often I drink not-very-nice gin. So sometimes I really need to mask it as much as possible.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:13, Reply)

Sorry to hear that.
I used to drink teachers and coke, so I'm just trying to help.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:18, Reply)

Haha.
Maybe I should move onto BEER
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:20, Reply)

Provided you don't chug them down at a man's speed OK
Otherwise it is too fattening.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:22, Reply)

Seeing as I'm hammered after 4 pints of cider*
I doubt I'll be having that much.



*and black
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:23, Reply)

gin bluergh

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:04, Reply)

Well, what sort of stuff do you want?
Is it a sit down, or nibble and circulate?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:05, Reply)

it's a toy party
in the eve
so the set up will be to have shit in the kitchen to nibble on and drink before/during/after
the typical thing here is veggie platters/chicken salad/pasta salad/crisps

I'd like to do something different. Think this is the first party I've ever hosted as an omgadult.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:18, Reply)

Give me a few minutes and I'll have a think.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:23, Reply)

Is a ladies toy party what I think it is?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:25, Reply)

what do you think it is?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:26, Reply)

dollies and prams

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:27, Reply)

I hate dolls :(
uless it's Barbie...
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:28, Reply)

A party. For ladies. With toys.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:28, Reply)

it's a..........drum roll please.........
sex toy party
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:29, Reply)

With a scat theme?
I see you'll be having 'shit on the table for people to nibble on.'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:30, Reply)

well, they've got anal-eze
it only seemed to fit
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:35, Reply)

So as host, is it your job to sell the toys?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:36, Reply)

nah, that's the consultants job
check it, just for having a party, I get a $50 gift certificate

wiggie wiggie wuhhh
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:38, Reply)

They sound like fun. My friends are all prudes, though.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:39, Reply)

mine are all lesbians
the dirty bitches

it actually is fun, and very private
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:40, Reply)

I'm getting some good vibes about this

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:42, Reply)

giggity

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:43, Reply)

I wonder what sales patter the consultant will use?
'So, bloke leaving you wanting more? Stick this up your clunge. You'll be shaking like a shitting-dog within minutes'

I can't see how that would fail.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:41, Reply)

You missed your calling

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:42, Reply)

*Beams*
Cheers!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:44, Reply)

a l
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:50, Reply)

What have I done now?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:51, Reply)

Nothing
I just thought belms was better than beams. I don't like staying in bored already
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:53, Reply)

Start a new thread.
Once that doesn't see me trying to work out the sales pitch of sex-toy consultant.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:54, Reply)

done

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:57, Reply)

me either!
they don't just sell dildos
they sell stuff for men too, sleeves and creams and stuff
all in all, it's generally mild, until they get into the creams and demonstrations........
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:42, Reply)

sleeves?
Does the consultant double as a tailor?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:43, Reply)

oh bother

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:45, Reply)

Sorry.
Is it a popular with men, these parties?

I can't say I've ever been to one. Generally speaking, wanking habits are only discussed in the pub after many, many pints.

Creams are usually dispensed by a chemist following a note from the doctor.*

*Ahem, not me you understand, both someone else. Yes, that's right. Someone else needed the magic cream.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:48, Reply)

men aren't allowed
they make stuff for men but they're not allowed at the parties

and this is speshul cream, makes you feel...very nice...
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:54, Reply)

Icecream?
Always cheers me up.
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:58, Reply)

You Tutti-Fruity you.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 21:00, Reply)

; )

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 21:01, Reply)

Who's this with?
We have Ann Summer's over here. Dunno if they're American or not.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:54, Reply)

Betty Bummers maybe?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:55, Reply)

Betty Bumder.
Crow's last tranny boyfriend.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 21:01, Reply)

I don't think they are.
These are called Slumber Parties.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:55, Reply)

dildo's an shit yo!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:30, Reply)

Buy a load of melons
cut a hole in the top of a melon, scoop out the seedy middle and fill it with some alco-punch. Garnish with a crazy-straw and a cocktail umbrella and, wallop, the bearer will look like a tool, but it's a good leveler and novelty talking point. Plus, they can eat the booze sodden fruit as a snack.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:41, Reply)

cut a hole in the top of a melon, scoop out the seedy middle and fill it with some alco-punch. Garnish with a crazy-straw and a cocktail umbrella and, wallop, the bearer will look like a tool, but it's a good leveler and novelty talking point. Plus, they can eat the booze sodden fruit as a snack.

warm for 30 seconds in the microwave and insert penis before removing it and re-inserting. Repeat as required.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:43, Reply)

30 seconds 750W
20 seconds 850W

Get those mixed up and it's straight to the burns unit and all you'll be left with is a QOTW story that no one will believe.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:50, Reply)

I am sure that Cunty-Hanky has a story like this in his collection

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:52, Reply)

No doubt

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:56, Reply)

A story where his 'friend' did this and then
began-to-scream-in-an-overly-laboured-and-painfully-predictable-wankertastic-metaphorical-manner-with-too-many-hyphens.

And then something to do with the writer being an utter knobend.

But if you don't like it don't read it!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 21:03, Reply)

ha ha POTD

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 21:07, Reply)

Well, if you think it's shit, I get A LOT of gazzes telling me how great my stories are.
Even though they are badly written, cack-handed attempts at smug self congratulatory 'comedy'.

So if you don't like it, DON'T READ IT.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 21:09, Reply)

The most worrying thing is that he trying to breed apparently. I fear for the future of the human race.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 21:39, Reply)

So I heard
The mind boggles.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 21:43, Reply)