Hi newbie
people are worried that you may be a past B3tard called Bert. Are you willing to truthfully answer a question to prove that you are not?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:29, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Yes, of course
God knows how I prove I am not called Bert though. Any tests you can put me through ?
(TheImmortalJenkins, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:30, Reply)

have you ever slept with a relative?
and was she under or over the age of consent?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Urrgh
where the hell am I where such things occur ? No, I certainly haven't slept either with a relative or a minor....
(TheImmortalJenkins, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:33, Reply)

What about a HALF-relative or a miner?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:35, Reply)

haha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:36, Reply)

No, not with any sort of relative
although aren't we all meant to be descended from a handful of people ? So possibly my thirty-seconded cousin removed ?

Or miner, extractor of any earth-encrusted minerals, manic or otherwise...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Don't you find it awkward
finding somewhere to put the canary?
( Kroney, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:38, Reply)

ANSWER THE QUESTION!




OBJECTION YOUR HONOUR.


OVERRULED.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:36, Reply)

hey
that's my line!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:44, Reply)

I WANT THE TRUTH!

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:44, Reply)

You could start by not being Bert.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:32, Reply)

Well,
a quick check of your profile reveals an incident that took place just after the first / fourth Star Wars flick came out, and I know that Bert ain't that old. So unless you are Bert and are completely making a different life up...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:32, Reply)

Cos nobody on here would do that...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:33, Reply)

My point exactly Gary.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Shurrup and gerrin me jet plane

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:35, Reply)

Ooh, forceful.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Also, I seem to have hurt my wrist is there anything you can do about it?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Warm olive oil and The best of The Eagles

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:48, Reply)

hahahaha

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:35, Reply)

Shut up Bert.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:35, Reply)

fuck off, bert

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Ok, here we go...
Have you ever had sex with your long-lost half-sister?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:33, Reply)

I slept with Becky, I was the first and best she ever had.
Thoughts?
( Kroney, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Yes she was *high fives*
Disclaimer: I have not, and never will sleep with Becky, I know my place, I just wanted to join in on the joke. Sorry, won't happen again.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:35, Reply)

never will?
not with that attitude
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:37, Reply)

As I said, I know my place

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:39, Reply)

whats your favorite way to dress up your cock??

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:35, Reply)

Answer A. Is 'inside a 13 year old half sister.'
(If you are not Bert try to avoid this as an option)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)

put you in a room with a child.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:38, Reply)

A rorschach test would be good.
Spill ink on a page, fold it in half - now look at it.
If the image makes you have lustful thoughts towards a young relative I suggest you go kill yourself.
(If not - welcome.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:48, Reply)