Not quite.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:58, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Transportation services?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)

Storage and wholesale logistics, I think.
Based upon a ludicrous half-code telephone conversation I've had.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)

Not my business but now things are going as you would like with access to your daughter it's not worth the risk of fucking that up for money.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)

I think I feel the same - too much to lose.
EDIT but if it went OK I could get myself out of the rather unpleasant hole I am currently in.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)

and if it went wrong?
please don't!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:15, Reply)

I'm not an innocent fool, though: I really do know rather a lot about the business.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:19, Reply)

Why not get WBM to pay your mortgage for a few months whilst you sort yourself out?
Just a suggestion.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:20, Reply)

This is the best solution I have heard.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)

*Spidey senses detect sarcasm*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)

I was replying in a 'humorous' way, I thought.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:25, Reply)

My spidey senses
Have been known to be wrong.

Drop her a line, it might work. Also. Try gazzing RogerTheStarfish as well, you might be able to get double-bubble.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)

yes but
you wouldn't be asking us if your instinct weren't telling you that it is not a good thing! so listen to it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)

My instincts are at best flawed and at worst fucking retarded, though.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:22, Reply)

If you do go down that route and it all goes tits-up
I'll send you a file with a cake in it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)

Good lad.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)

ok then, how's this for some horribly horribly tough love?
'mummy, what does "death by myocardial infarction induced by excessive cocaine consumption" mean? and why can't i see daddy ever again, i don't understand, i want my daddy'... well you get my very laboured point, don't overdo it, my sweet!!!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:27, Reply)

Christ
A kid his daughter's age would never be able to say "infarction", let alone "myocardial". Why can't you women apply a little logic?
( Kroney, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)

not right this minute perhaps
but i bet she could by the age of 4, if it was said to her and she was made to repeat it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:41, Reply)

Are you calling montys daughter thick?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:42, Reply)

Ha!

( Kroney, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:44, Reply)

So what are you saying Swipe?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:33, Reply)

:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
I have gone from 'really rather ebullient' to 'not that far from tears' in a matter of seconds.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:33, Reply)

i rest my case!
if it's going to put your health at risk, don't do it...

and this is coming from someone who has no idea what the words "no thanks" or "no more" mean herself!

argh i'm sorry!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)

My health is already massively at risk.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:43, Reply)

stop shagging men then

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:47, Reply)

then pleeeeeeeeease don't make it worse, clearly you can handle it at present but
ask my mum how much she's looking forward to her son's wedding next year, or how much she enjoyed seeing her grandchildren at the weekend, or how proud she was when i got my new job/promotion... oh no wait, you can't, because she died at 50 of a stroke..... and that wasn't even a self-inflicted coke-stroke! so yeah, don't make your daughter AND YOURSELF miss out on even more than my brothers and i do, mmkay?? xx
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:48, Reply)

^ this ^

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:22, Reply)

Since we're all throwing unwanted opinions around
like a monkey throws faeces, I will weigh in to say that the chances of you getting caught out and the absolute dead certainty that it will completely exonerate your ex's rabid whinging at the courts will probably make it not worth the money.

You are, however, only a man on the internet; so do what you want.
( Kroney, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:35, Reply)

^ this
better to be skint than risk getting in to a load of bother and possibly losing access, surely?
(berk, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)

It's not my buisiness either but I'll go further
don't be a twat.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)

Agreed.
(Give the job to someone else but make sure you get a cut.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:13, Reply)

It's a field I am not without some experience in.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:14, Reply)

so?
doesn't make you impervious to the pitfalls.

It's not worth it, so not worth it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:19, Reply)

I'm more worried about what it would likely do to my own rate of consumption
that I am about the legal aspects of it, if I'm honest.

I shall meet the chap before I decide either way, I think.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)

can you believe I've not had a reefer since Friday?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)

Are you fucking gay?
There are less obscure ways of 'coming out', you know, but I admire your courage.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:25, Reply)

had the fucking in-laws to stay
as a result I have barely slept for the last two nights

insomnia + lack of weed = shithouse
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:27, Reply)

Get some temazepam

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)

it's the getting to sleep bit I have difficulty with
staying asleep is no problem
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Beat you !
I had one last night - but there again last time I purchased I got ripped off big time so I'm not supping from the cup of smug...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)

I had one at 4am this morning
so I win.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)

You do indeed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:29, Reply)

Agreed
You win !
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)

I'm having one now.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:36, Reply)

mine was medicinal
and therefore morally more acceptable.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Sorry as a newbie to butt in but
I once knew someone who ended up inside for 7 years thanks to what I think you might be considering doing.

There's a reason the money is so good - the risks. Also the risk of being a patsy to get the police a conviction and keep them off the back of Mr Big.

Just saying...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)

I went to school with Mr Big.
He's one of my oldest chums.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)

as in "the one who wants to be with you?"

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)

Eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)

shit song by a band called Mr Big

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:29, Reply)

Ah.
I was mentally running through the lyrics to 'Mr Big' by Free, but struck out.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:30, Reply)

what are you thoughts on Free?
and Bad Company
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Free-definitely yes
Koss was an excellent and understated guitarist.

Bad Company have rather passed me by, if I'm honest.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:42, Reply)

I have had my eyes opened to them recently
always thought they were a bit "meh", but having been instructed to drum along with Alright Now to improve my skills I've gained an awareness of their other stuff as well.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:43, Reply)

Free at the 1970 Isle of Wight Festival is what you want.
*taps nose*


*it falls off*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:47, Reply)

*googles*
fuck me, what a line up

I've got the Jethro Tull set recorded on my cable box at home.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Rory Gallagher's Taste were also brilliant at that festival.
As were The Who (of course) - Hendrix less so (in comparison with, say, Jimi Plays Berkeley)...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:54, Reply)

I don't know much Rory Gallagher
what I've heard is good shit though.

I have an odd view of the Who. I like them in principle, and think a few of their songs are masterpieces, but on the whole I don't care to listen to them.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Mr Big? Who are you? James Bond in Live and Let Die?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)

Kananga my friend. Aa-aaa, aa-aaa.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)

Played by Yaphet Kotto no less. Crazy name, crazy guy.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)

He's also excellent in The Running Man.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:34, Reply)

Mr Big?
Who are you, Carrie's boyfriend?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)

It took me a while
to work out you were talking about SATC not the horror film.

I think "the rule of the Wire" applies just as much to SATC...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:36, Reply)

It does
if you knew me you'd know I was kidding, I'm not a SATC fangirl.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:37, Reply)

WTF is SATC?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:38, Reply)

Sex and the city

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Ugh. That crap.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)

I think it's something to do with
'Rage Against The Machine'*


*I don't really.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Shag Against The Cooker

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)

'Shit-arse Taiwanese Cunts'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Short Angry Thirsty Cocksuckers

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:54, Reply)

I agree with this.
No fucking 'SATC' or 'Wire' on my watch.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)

How about Sex & The Wire
It might be brilliant.

"I quit the force!"
"Cosmopolitan?"
"ooh I'd love one thanks"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Haha
'It was then that I realised he was never going to be The One....and that this whole thing went ALL THE WAY TO CITY HALL, DAMMIT'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Well, surely that's
better than being Bert....
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)

Careful - you're still on probation - we haven't had the lab report back yet.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)

Being Fred West would be better than being Bert.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:34, Reply)

have you got no willpower whatsoever?
I bake cakes and desserts all the time, but I'm not fat. I'm also surrounded by drugs most of the time but I don't turn into an addict. I suppose you've got an addictive personality though, which I don't.

Until it comes to computer games.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:37, Reply)

I have been addicted to cocaine for probably 10 years :(

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Have you ever considered getting some help with this?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:46, Reply)

No.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Is that because you enjoy the lifestyle and like the feeling
Or because you are worried about life without coke?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Both of these
but also if I get that on my medical records I won't be able to go in and out of the US, and my father lives there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:52, Reply)

hypothetical moment
ex is abducted by aliens, you get sole custody of your daughter. Would you give it up then?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:55, Reply)

I'd like to think I could.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 17:08, Reply)

If you do want to make some liftstyle changes
It is possible to do that without consulting your GP.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:56, Reply)

I don't have a lift, Jeff - I live on the ground floor.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 18:09, Reply)

well there's no point in us lot telling you to kick it
you need to decide that on your own. But you'll probably be dead and missing large chunks of your nose before that happens.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Probably.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Drug mule.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:04, Reply)

I wouldn't want any drugs that have been kept up Monty's arse.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)