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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Hands up who thinks I've done enough work for today?
Alt Q: Where would you like your hands to be now?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:56, 331 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
*Doesn't put hand up*
Alt: Picking the scabs off your new tattoo.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:57, Reply)
I've done loads of work. Even when we were chatting I was beavering away over the chequebook paying suppliers. And I only made one mistake.
Well you certainly know how to excite a woman.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:59, Reply)
Did you make a cheque payable to me by mistake?
If you did, and you don't want to waste the cheque, I'll gaz you my address so you can post it to me.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:00, Reply)
So you want me to post the cheque I made to Jeffthedogfucker and you'll take it to the bank and convince them that it's you?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)
I fail to see the flaw with this plan.
How much is the cheque for? I don't get out of bed for less than ten-grand a day.

JeffTheSuperModel
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:04, Reply)
£149.25
It's shredded now anyway.

Don't you mean you don't get off the train for less than ten grand a day?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:05, Reply)
ha ha ha ha

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:06, Reply)
Fuck yeah, I started at 6am this morning.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)
Bloody hell!
*gives brownie points.

No not those brownie points.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:00, Reply)
Oh, I thought if I saved up enough I would get a brownie to do what ever I want with.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:01, Reply)
thought you had replied to me then...

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:09, Reply)
Layabout
I was in at 5.15
(I helped save b3ta! disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:07, Reply)
I haven't done anywhere near enough
alt: rolling a fat spliff. I haven't had one since Friday night.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)
*hands up*
I'd quite like one of mine to have a nice cold pint (or wine) in it, and the other to have some chocolate, and all of my body to be somewhere warm and sunny like Spain or Italy.
Love your new tattoo btw - did you have it commissioned by that guy whose website you linked me to?
(berk, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:59, Reply)
His commissioned stuff is more expensive.
This is one of his stock designs but it was relevant to what I already have. If I get some spare cash I might ask him to design something for my leg.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:01, Reply)
I've never really wanted a tattoo, but that has given me an idea.
A sock design inked onto my legs. No more trying to find decent socks that dont have sticky in bits in the corner of the toe seam. No more having to pair them up.
(Cave Duck, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:35, Reply)
No more losing an odd one in the washing machine.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:37, Reply)
And pegging them probably has the worst time taken/area to be dried ratio of any washed item.

(Cave Duck, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)
Nope I've got to stay late tonight.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:59, Reply)
Detention?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:01, Reply)
Nope I've got to press a button
wait
press two other buttons
then wait some more
then check something
about 200 times.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)
This is about Team Fortress 2 isn't it?

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:06, Reply)
If only,
it's uploading stuff into a database I've made.
I haven't checked it properly yet so I can't get anyone else to do the legwork.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:10, Reply)
*raises hand*
"On sexy lady boobs" is the obvious answer, but failing that I'd like one of them to be holding a pint, and the other to be high-fiving some cool b3tans.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:00, Reply)
Why not get 2 pints?
It'll probably be more satisfying.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:01, Reply)
Harder to high-five though.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:06, Reply)
I'd like one hand in my pocket
and the other one smoking a cigarette
(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)
Not hailing a taxi cab?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:03, Reply)

What it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:03, Reply)
I want mine to be at my nail salon
because I dyed my hair at the weekend and now my nails are blue and I look ill.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)
It's a bit early to dress up for Halloween.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:05, Reply)
It needed doing
it was going blonde again at the edges
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:06, Reply)
you are actually blonde?
*rethinks*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:16, Reply)
not really
it's a dirty blonde, more of a light brown. But the underneath layer has previously been bleached white before colour applications so when the colour fades, it goes back to white.

It hasn't been blonde since I was a young teenager, as my facebook photos that you've no doubt stalked through will testify.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)
"as my facebook photos that you've no doubt stalked through will testify."
Translates to: "Oh God, I hope he's been through my pics, just not those embarrassing ones, or the ones where I look fat, or the ones where I have eight chins. I must take more pole-dancing pics so I can show off to him. *preens*"
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:23, Reply)
Like you've not looked at them Pervatron
I actually got Applebite to take some pole pics for me yesterday, but I can't decide whether or not to put them up as I look decidely chunky and it makes me a bit sad.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:25, Reply)
I've looked at some of your profile pics, I do that with everyone on FB
But it's not like I trawled through your albums.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:27, Reply)
yeah yeah

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:33, Reply)
lies
on the internet no less.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)
Truth
I did look once for a pic to use for paintsmashing purposes.
Besides, you've stalked my FB pics.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)
I have indeedy
I usually get through the first few pages of people's profiles until I get bored or find something I didn't want to see.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
I shudder to think what you may have seen amongst mine
too many photos of me in skintight rubber, or just ones from when I was fat with long hair.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)
As I said, I only go through the first few pages until I get bored
so I think all yours are you new and improved slender self.

Although the skintight rubber was still abundant.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:16, Reply)
why aren't we friends on facebook?
i want to stalk you in skintight rubber now!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:16, Reply)
I was thinking the same earlier

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)
there's stalkier
people on here than vipros though
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:23, Reply)
*ta dah*

(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:31, Reply)
that was
extraordinarily gay
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:41, Reply)

that was you are
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)
well no
otherwise he wouldn't be stalking kitty, would he?

he'd be stalking YOU.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)
he does that too
he's using kitty to get to me
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:46, Reply)
that seems a very long-winded way of going about it
why not just use you to get to you?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)
you are ascribing a certain level of logic there

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)
I stalked your photos when you added me
until I got to the Risk Night, then I was like "fuck this."
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:46, Reply)
ha ha, that was a particularly shit night to be photographed.
I was so drunk.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)
I haven't stalked all that far back
I will take your word for it though.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:23, Reply)
Running through a girl's hair

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:05, Reply)
Any girl?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:07, Reply)
any hair?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:11, Reply)
crude miss swipe
very crude
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:18, Reply)
i was just asking!
i only have hair on my head, so if he had wanted an anal beard or something, i would have known not to get in the queue.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:22, Reply)
i was just asking!
i only have hair on my head, so if he had wanted an anal beard or something, i would have known not to get in the queue.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:22, Reply)
anal beard?!
Rachel I'm disgusted.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:23, Reply)

disgusted eligible to join the queue.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:25, Reply)
sorry
i learned the phrase on here. then told my friend.

a few months later her awful drunken boyfriend careered into me at a party and asked me and our friend ellie if we wanted to "caress his anal beard". at which point i reeeeally regretted spreading it around!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:38, Reply)
you go completely bald down there eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:25, Reply)
apart from some bread crumbs

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:26, Reply)
Hahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:27, Reply)
nice

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:30, Reply)
NO BREADCRUMBS
the butter picks all those up
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:39, Reply)
I say!
*drops monocle*

I'm not so keen on the completely bare look I have to say. I wasn't aware of this until recent experience. I prefer a small tuft or landing strip.

Not on myself I hasten to add. If I shaved around my twig and giggleberries I'd look like I was prepped for surgery given the surrounding thicket.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)
Agreed, but the anal beard needs to be removed otherwise no rimming.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:41, Reply)
it's all personal preference
i think the tuft looks a bit daft myself. but i'll happily go along with whatever the bloke of the moment prefers, really.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)
very magnanimous of you

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)
only on that one point
otherwise it's my way or the highway, baby.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
tough but fair

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
I don't think I could have a Hollywood
I'd feel too child-like.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)
Bert would love that.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)
chance'd be a fine thing
stupid outsize boobs
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)
yeah that just compounds my problem

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)
And mine
I swear there are 12 year olds with bigger boobs than mine.
(berk, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)
yeah
slags.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:16, Reply)
Landingstrips are fucking ODD

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)
less odd than completely bare

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
I disagree. It's a bit- whoops, missed a strip, lets just leave it to look pretty.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)
no I agree with Vipros
it reminds you that it belongs to a woman.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)
^this
you get the benefits of smooth skin where it counts, but looks a little less strange.

also, from the wearers point of view, there is a big difference. a small amount of hair hides some of the detail when viewed from the top of the body.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)
not if your boobs get in the way from any angle

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)
I was taking the above from Mrs V's view on the subject
she is also fairly well endowed
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)
Of course, your position about this changes when you're going through a barren spell.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)
obviously there are some things which are not important in such times.

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)
Quite
Although a well groomed lady garden is far more attractive than a untended bush.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)
Not if you're a pilot
Or you work in air traffic control.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)
Not any girl
No
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:20, Reply)
Who then?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:24, Reply)
If you mean HER I will hunt you down and flay you, Maxi.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:27, Reply)
Who is HER?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:29, Reply)
My ex fiancée

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:38, Reply)
Oh! well get another girlfriend with hair then.
I have some in mind if you're interested.


Not me in case your worrying.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:39, Reply)
I have no luck with the ladies
I seem to attract mentals
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)
That's Ok
These are mental but in a good way.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
Really?

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)
No, not her
She hurt me far too much, I do really miss the cuddling and running my fingers through her hair though
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:37, Reply)
Having just clicked on your profile
I think you should be consoled by the fact that you own a GIR-dog hoodie*. That makes up for any amount of rubbish women.

*at least, that's what it looks like and if you've never watched Invader Zim and it's something else entirely, then I've just made a total arse of myself...
(berk, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)
that is fucking brilliant

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)
It's ace, isn't it?
I fear I may have scared him off, though.
(berk, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
No, thank you, it is a GIR hoodie :)

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)
:(
Hope you feel better soon, hope the kitties are keeping well. Run your fingers through their hair :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)
SHE has them :'(

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)
WHAT NO EVIL EVIL EVIL WOMAN

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)
I bought rabbits but they both died :(
I got my money back though
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
You're going to make me cry soon.
I'm going home.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)
Sorry, it's been a rubbish few months

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)
*raises hands*
Alt A:
Beer and boob vote for me too
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:05, Reply)
lesbian

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:06, Reply)
Huaa

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)
is this like a "WHAAAA?" huaa or like a Johnny Bravo huh!

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:20, Reply)
More Al Pacino
Actually, it was supposed to say hurrah but I clicked the mouse. I thought it better anyway!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:27, Reply)
Dead girls shroud?
do you think?
(I helped save b3ta! disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:06, Reply)
No, don't start til 4.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:07, Reply)
*hands up*
on my boobs
I like to hold my boobs
it's comforting
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:12, Reply)
*holds my boobs*
Gosh it is isn't it.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)
don't tell me you didn't know this

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)
I didn't but thanks for letting me know.
It might stop me from pulling my hair out when I'm watching the TV.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:21, Reply)
yes, just hold your boobs instead

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:32, Reply)
The wife does that while she's thinking sometimes

(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)
While she's thinking about your penis?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:15, Reply)
I do it when I've got the hiccups, and when I'm trying to sleep
and anytime I feel like it
because they belong to me
so I can touch them whenever I want to
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:20, Reply)
I do it when I'm dashing through the house in the morning if I'm not wearing a bra
because it hurts when they bounce, even my little ones.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:23, Reply)
Haha!
I just don't dash anywhere unless I'm wearing a bra.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:24, Reply)
mine are usually urgent dashes, such as I've left my phone in the bedroom and the alarm is going off again
which means that Wiggy will throw my phone at the wall if I don't turn it off.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:29, Reply)
like this?
-----!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:33, Reply)
shurely more like this
– — – — – !!!!
/horrible punctuation and typesetting pedantry
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:37, Reply)
at least you got what I was getting at

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:38, Reply)
yes...exactly like that
*rolls eyes*
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:38, Reply)
hehe

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)
Fisting a baby walrus.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:13, Reply)
trainingcourselol

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:13, Reply)
What? My hands are cold.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)
peado!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)
Yes, hands up over here as well...
...I know I think I've done enough work, but as the alternatives are ironing or VAT returns, will carry on.

ALT-Q I'll ignore the obvious answer which is "round a pair of norks" and put instead "in a warm sea, somewhere hot, with the rest of me".
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:15, Reply)
As opposed to in the warm sea without the rest of you.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:17, Reply)
Yes, well,
my pedantry shines out as always...would be strange to have one part of your body in one place separate from the rest of you...there's an idea for a short story in there somewhere...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)
there's an episode of Angel
where a surgeon has managed to detach his body parts and uses them to stalk his ex girlfriend.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:22, Reply)
Dare I ask
which body parts ? Eyes / ears / todger ?
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:24, Reply)
it was his eyes and hands I think
he used his eye to watch her change and then his hands to grope her when she was asleep. And to choke Angel when he tried to stop him.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:30, Reply)
God knows how he got anything useful done
with both his hands out of action in stalking mode, to be honest. Maybe I'm thinking about this too much though...surely an eye and the meat and two would have been a better option, although can't imagine the todger would have been able to fight off an assailant, plus not exactly TV-friendly...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:32, Reply)
you're right, it's just full of plot holes.
On that show that stars a vampire who's turned good because he was cursed by gypsies, together with a demon who gets premonitions and a guy who is supposed to protect and teach vampire slayers. That floating eye thing just made it silly.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)
Don't forget the camp singing lizard.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)
I fucking love him!
he's dead now.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)
and people wonder why it's no longer on telly
*shakes head*
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)
I know.
Most completely shit programmes seem to run for years.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)

*places hands on your boobs*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:21, Reply)
Even better than me doing it : )
This is the only thing I will miss being single : (
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:22, Reply)
I'll give you a good groping at the bash

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:26, Reply)
Fanku : )

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:28, Reply)
I've no idea ;) Make your own mind up :D
Alt: on a cat. I miss mine.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:33, Reply)
1. No - you need to work 'til 9pm today. Sorry
2. Holding my child (yes, I know, 'GAAAAAY') choking the last, ragged, desperate breaths out of a certain D. Jones
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:38, Reply)
Awwwwwww!
You are such a sweetie.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)
Normal service has now been resumed.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:41, Reply)
He's not long for this world anyway.
He had a heart attack a while ago.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)
*rubs hands together*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)
Well now they're all warmed up.
*lifts up t-shirt*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:46, Reply)
*shocked*

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)
What?
I'm an opportunist.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxicab.

hailing a taxicab placing Alanis Morrissette between 10,000 spoons and a fucking gert bid electromagnet, then hovering over the power switch and asking her to explain irony.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)
*snort*
I like this.
(berk, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)
"its, like, a way to describe iron things?"

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)
I would like to help her
by hitting her round the face with a red-hot iron, and than asking her 'isn't THIS ironic?'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:46, Reply)
"don't you think?"

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)
I would like to ask her if she's heard 'Alanis Morissette' by Wesley Willis (RIP wiv da angles of crazy)

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)
Whattchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_fg_D1noOY

ENJOY
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)
Hahaha!
Also, his version of 'Girls on Film' is fantastic.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:07, Reply)
10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife?
that's, at best, poor cutlery management.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)
yeah but
♪ and isn't it poorcutlerymanagement...doncha think ♪

doesn't quite fit to the beat.

Ok ok so I just wanted to use ♪
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)
Hey, don't come to me with problems
come to me with solutions ;)
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
You have done enough
Go, look at kittums, puppies and B3ta stuff.

I have done gazillions of works today and I'm fucking exhausted.
I'm on my break in case you were wondering.
I have to work in the pub tonight as well. This is gonna be a looooong week.
I'm a boring cunt sometimes.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:46, Reply)
I am looking at doing out of hours work for a friend of mine.
Unfortunately it would bring me into close proximity with certain things I should be avoiding - but would make me a few hundred quid a week. Dilemma.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)
Don't do it
You're not rich but you survive.
Do you believe in karma?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)
No - he hates gay curries.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
You're right

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
Great new name

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)
Thanks.
I did consider Dr Mabuse, but thought I should show another side to my psyche.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:09, Reply)
No I absolutely do not. Utter hogwash.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:17, Reply)
crack and hookers?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)
Cracked Hoovers

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
Hooker's cracks?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)
Buddy Hooky and the Crackets

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)
*snort*
I think all that hard work is making you daft in the head.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)
I was always daft
I just appear to be sharing it with the world a lot more.
It is bringing on many facepalms.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
Hooker's Buddy and The Crackheads?

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)
Biggy Huggy and the Crackpots

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)
Buddha's Hookah and the Crumhorns

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)
This is demented but good in equal measures.
Alright, mystery bluesman?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)
Very well.
I was hoping we'd accidentally stumble across a band you'd actually seen at some point ...
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)
Like chimps writing Shakespeare, it would happen eventually.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:09, Reply)
so dealing then?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)
May I see the menu?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
Not quite.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)
Transportation services?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)
Storage and wholesale logistics, I think.
Based upon a ludicrous half-code telephone conversation I've had.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)
Not my business but now things are going as you would like with access to your daughter it's not worth the risk of fucking that up for money.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)
I think I feel the same - too much to lose.
EDIT but if it went OK I could get myself out of the rather unpleasant hole I am currently in.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)
and if it went wrong?
please don't!!!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:15, Reply)
I'm not an innocent fool, though: I really do know rather a lot about the business.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:19, Reply)
Why not get WBM to pay your mortgage for a few months whilst you sort yourself out?
Just a suggestion.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:20, Reply)
This is the best solution I have heard.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)
*Spidey senses detect sarcasm*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)
I was replying in a 'humorous' way, I thought.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:25, Reply)
My spidey senses
Have been known to be wrong.

Drop her a line, it might work. Also. Try gazzing RogerTheStarfish as well, you might be able to get double-bubble.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)
yes but
you wouldn't be asking us if your instinct weren't telling you that it is not a good thing! so listen to it.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)
My instincts are at best flawed and at worst fucking retarded, though.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:22, Reply)
If you do go down that route and it all goes tits-up
I'll send you a file with a cake in it.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)
Good lad.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)
ok then, how's this for some horribly horribly tough love?
'mummy, what does "death by myocardial infarction induced by excessive cocaine consumption" mean? and why can't i see daddy ever again, i don't understand, i want my daddy'... well you get my very laboured point, don't overdo it, my sweet!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:27, Reply)
Christ
A kid his daughter's age would never be able to say "infarction", let alone "myocardial". Why can't you women apply a little logic?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)
not right this minute perhaps
but i bet she could by the age of 4, if it was said to her and she was made to repeat it.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:41, Reply)
Are you calling montys daughter thick?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:42, Reply)
Ha!

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:44, Reply)
So what are you saying Swipe?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:33, Reply)
:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
I have gone from 'really rather ebullient' to 'not that far from tears' in a matter of seconds.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:33, Reply)
i rest my case!
if it's going to put your health at risk, don't do it...

and this is coming from someone who has no idea what the words "no thanks" or "no more" mean herself!

argh i'm sorry!!!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)
My health is already massively at risk.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:43, Reply)
stop shagging men then

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:44, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:47, Reply)
then pleeeeeeeeease don't make it worse, clearly you can handle it at present but
ask my mum how much she's looking forward to her son's wedding next year, or how much she enjoyed seeing her grandchildren at the weekend, or how proud she was when i got my new job/promotion... oh no wait, you can't, because she died at 50 of a stroke..... and that wasn't even a self-inflicted coke-stroke! so yeah, don't make your daughter AND YOURSELF miss out on even more than my brothers and i do, mmkay?? xx
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:48, Reply)
^ this ^

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:22, Reply)
Since we're all throwing unwanted opinions around
like a monkey throws faeces, I will weigh in to say that the chances of you getting caught out and the absolute dead certainty that it will completely exonerate your ex's rabid whinging at the courts will probably make it not worth the money.

You are, however, only a man on the internet; so do what you want.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:35, Reply)
^ this
better to be skint than risk getting in to a load of bother and possibly losing access, surely?
(berk, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)
It's not my buisiness either but I'll go further
don't be a twat.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)
Agreed.
(Give the job to someone else but make sure you get a cut.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:13, Reply)
It's a field I am not without some experience in.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:14, Reply)
so?
doesn't make you impervious to the pitfalls.

It's not worth it, so not worth it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:19, Reply)
I'm more worried about what it would likely do to my own rate of consumption
that I am about the legal aspects of it, if I'm honest.

I shall meet the chap before I decide either way, I think.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)
can you believe I've not had a reefer since Friday?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)
Are you fucking gay?
There are less obscure ways of 'coming out', you know, but I admire your courage.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:25, Reply)
had the fucking in-laws to stay
as a result I have barely slept for the last two nights

insomnia + lack of weed = shithouse
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:27, Reply)
Get some temazepam

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)
it's the getting to sleep bit I have difficulty with
staying asleep is no problem
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)
Beat you !
I had one last night - but there again last time I purchased I got ripped off big time so I'm not supping from the cup of smug...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)
I had one at 4am this morning
so I win.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)
You do indeed.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:29, Reply)
Agreed
You win !
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)
I'm having one now.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:36, Reply)
mine was medicinal
and therefore morally more acceptable.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:50, Reply)
Sorry as a newbie to butt in but
I once knew someone who ended up inside for 7 years thanks to what I think you might be considering doing.

There's a reason the money is so good - the risks. Also the risk of being a patsy to get the police a conviction and keep them off the back of Mr Big.

Just saying...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)
I went to school with Mr Big.
He's one of my oldest chums.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)
as in "the one who wants to be with you?"

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)
Eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)
shit song by a band called Mr Big

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:29, Reply)
Ah.
I was mentally running through the lyrics to 'Mr Big' by Free, but struck out.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:30, Reply)
what are you thoughts on Free?
and Bad Company
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:39, Reply)
Free-definitely yes
Koss was an excellent and understated guitarist.

Bad Company have rather passed me by, if I'm honest.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:42, Reply)
I have had my eyes opened to them recently
always thought they were a bit "meh", but having been instructed to drum along with Alright Now to improve my skills I've gained an awareness of their other stuff as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:43, Reply)
Free at the 1970 Isle of Wight Festival is what you want.
*taps nose*


*it falls off*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:47, Reply)
*googles*
fuck me, what a line up

I've got the Jethro Tull set recorded on my cable box at home.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:50, Reply)
Rory Gallagher's Taste were also brilliant at that festival.
As were The Who (of course) - Hendrix less so (in comparison with, say, Jimi Plays Berkeley)...
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:54, Reply)
I don't know much Rory Gallagher
what I've heard is good shit though.

I have an odd view of the Who. I like them in principle, and think a few of their songs are masterpieces, but on the whole I don't care to listen to them.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:56, Reply)
Mr Big? Who are you? James Bond in Live and Let Die?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)
Kananga my friend. Aa-aaa, aa-aaa.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)
Played by Yaphet Kotto no less. Crazy name, crazy guy.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)
He's also excellent in The Running Man.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:34, Reply)
Mr Big?
Who are you, Carrie's boyfriend?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)
It took me a while
to work out you were talking about SATC not the horror film.

I think "the rule of the Wire" applies just as much to SATC...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:36, Reply)
It does
if you knew me you'd know I was kidding, I'm not a SATC fangirl.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:37, Reply)
WTF is SATC?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:38, Reply)
Sex and the city

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:39, Reply)
Ugh. That crap.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)
I think it's something to do with
'Rage Against The Machine'*


*I don't really.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)
Shag Against The Cooker

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)
'Shit-arse Taiwanese Cunts'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:46, Reply)
Short Angry Thirsty Cocksuckers

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:54, Reply)
I agree with this.
No fucking 'SATC' or 'Wire' on my watch.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)
How about Sex & The Wire
It might be brilliant.

"I quit the force!"
"Cosmopolitan?"
"ooh I'd love one thanks"
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:49, Reply)
Haha
'It was then that I realised he was never going to be The One....and that this whole thing went ALL THE WAY TO CITY HALL, DAMMIT'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:50, Reply)
Well, surely that's
better than being Bert....
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)
Careful - you're still on probation - we haven't had the lab report back yet.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)
Being Fred West would be better than being Bert.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:34, Reply)
have you got no willpower whatsoever?
I bake cakes and desserts all the time, but I'm not fat. I'm also surrounded by drugs most of the time but I don't turn into an addict. I suppose you've got an addictive personality though, which I don't.

Until it comes to computer games.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:37, Reply)
I have been addicted to cocaine for probably 10 years :(

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:44, Reply)
Have you ever considered getting some help with this?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:46, Reply)
No.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:48, Reply)
Is that because you enjoy the lifestyle and like the feeling
Or because you are worried about life without coke?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:50, Reply)
Both of these
but also if I get that on my medical records I won't be able to go in and out of the US, and my father lives there.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:52, Reply)
hypothetical moment
ex is abducted by aliens, you get sole custody of your daughter. Would you give it up then?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:55, Reply)
I'd like to think I could.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 17:08, Reply)
If you do want to make some liftstyle changes
It is possible to do that without consulting your GP.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:56, Reply)
I don't have a lift, Jeff - I live on the ground floor.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 18:09, Reply)
well there's no point in us lot telling you to kick it
you need to decide that on your own. But you'll probably be dead and missing large chunks of your nose before that happens.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:48, Reply)
Probably.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:49, Reply)
Drug mule.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:04, Reply)
I wouldn't want any drugs that have been kept up Monty's arse.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)
yes look at me, that will cheer you up

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)
Monty you are being a massive twat if you are considering this
even if you don't get caught by the rozzers, your ex gets one whiff of it and there will be no more unsupervised visits.

But on the other hand money is loads better than snotty faced kids...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:41, Reply)
learn how to use the reply button
GAWD BADGER don't you know anyfink?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:47, Reply)
I was too lazy to scroll up again after reading it all

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:48, Reply)
ugh
apparently we now have to fill out a spreadsheet everytime we get an order

yeah that's not a masive waste of time as I get an order approx. every five mionutes and will now spend a minute writing
*customer* ordered rated *difficulty*

management have no idea do they
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)
Aren't you leaving shortly
And therefore shouldn't care?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)

but they're making me do more work! POINTLESS work at that.
If I don't fill in this stupid sheet the manager will bug me relelntlessly.

I may just make it up
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)
Surely it makes sense to record informaton about all new orders?
Or am I missing the point?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:07, Reply)
these are all existing customers
they want a spreadsheet detailing exactly when each order comes in so they can build up an idea of how long each account takes to administrate which is bullshit because I have customers who send through orders 90% of the time that take 2 minutes then will change the design on EVERY BOX resulting in hours getting an order ready.

so the sheet is probably going to be bullshit that doesn't relate accurately to how time consuming accounts are.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)
Have you suggested
They use some of their spare boxes and get staff taking orders to put some ticks on them?

Everyone would be a winner that way.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:13, Reply)
I don't get this

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:16, Reply)
^ this

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)
Hang on.
Are you agreeing with me?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:07, Reply)
I sho' nuff am, Jeff.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:19, Reply)
Peace out!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)
WORD.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)
*Strikes pose*
Innit.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)
My uni timetable is gash! one lie in a week.
What have I missed today?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)
Everyone called you a cunt, all day.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)
It's funny because it's true

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)
Ok let me rephrase it, what did I miss that isn't normal?
hello by the way. I have to learn Welsh! and because I don't know any now I have to have extra lessons.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)
Remmy.
You've been put in the 'special unit' haven't you?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:27, Reply)
Yup,
Two Welsh lessons a week. How was your raisin in the end?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:29, Reply)
It wasn't a date as such.
And I ended up spending all day Friday throwing up having eaten something bad.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:30, Reply)
did you eat your date?

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)
I got some food on the way back from the pub
And was really rather poorly after eating.

I threw up all day Friday.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:34, Reply)
I know I started a "where if Jeff burried?" thread

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:44, Reply)
I was close to death
Well, not death but I vommed until I can vom no more.

I felt really shitty.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:45, Reply)
I sent good thoughts you way
And received not one word of thanks
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:48, Reply)
Sorry Honey (badger),
I obviously needed your good thoughts as I went against Blousies advice and got back on the drink over the weekend.

Thank you for you good thoughts. You rock.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:51, Reply)
now kids, take out your safety scissors and circles of paper

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:29, Reply)
Bob
Is a Unitard!

Hello Super Nintendo Chalmers.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:31, Reply)
HAahahahaha
Actually this term looks pretty good, just a shame about the Welsh lessons and lack of lie ins. Fucking love being a student.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:37, Reply)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:38, Reply)
Just tell the little welsh short arses that phlegming in other peoples faces is not a language.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:29, Reply)
I am going to run out of phlegm by half past 9.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:39, Reply)
You'll dehydrate, and all that will be left, will be a few crystals.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 16:45, Reply)

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