Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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The Apprentice anyone?What exciting new beach product would you invent?
Alt Q: If you're not watching the Apprentice, what are you doing?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:15,
152 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
Are you more Margot than Barbara?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:17,
Reply)
I dress more like Margotbut act more like Barbara.
I am poor but I hate mud and like getting the china out. I guess I'm neither.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:20,
Reply)
why the hell is everyone obssessed with the apprentice!!?ordinarily normal people who i'd normally credit with some taste keep going on about it. Why is this?
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:17,
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I'm screwed if I knowI saw it once and they were all pricks
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:18,
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from what I can tellthat is sometimes even seen as a good point. *shrugs*
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:19,
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I'm glad I'm not ambitious**A deluded prick with too much hair gel
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:21,
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I don't like cringe-enducing stuffMakes it difficult to be around myself sometimes
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:23,
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a towel with a detachable pillow cooler(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:20,
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It's fucking shit.Not as bad as that book thing. But it's still gash.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:21,
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haha that guy is havibg a cry after getting called boring(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:22,
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i want a bitch fightWoo tears!
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:24,
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Are all women like that when they've got a task to do?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:24,
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noBut most of women in business
A) make shit managers
B) over compensate by being REALLY LOUD AND TALKING ALL THE TIME
C) become bitches when placed in close proximity with more than 2 other women
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:27,
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I can't see either product being sold.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:28,
Reply)
You're a twat then.Sorry TGB but why not just take a bag to the beach and use a hotel towel?
EDIT: I've been a bit strong with my opening gambit there. Sorry.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:31,
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because im a twatObviously
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:32,
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I think the Cuuli will sell moreAnd it's marginally less gash than that other one.
20p says I'm right.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:34,
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you cant slate me for wanting oneThen back it.
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:36,
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I think you'll find I can.Not just that. I have too!
*Crosses arms, refuses to change stance*
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:37,
Reply)
No. I am.Two shit products, the towel sold more.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:51,
Reply)
i was always backing the towel(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:53,
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Or they come out with the type of sexual innuendo that would get a man fired.(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:30,
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True enough.A mate once worked in a factory one summer. He said it was hell.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:32,
Reply)
What's wrong with the existing design?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:25,
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Apparently they are too heavy and hotI'd invent a light cool one, and you could read and have smooches in it
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:26,
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A sort of modern 2Tone design for the Muslim lovin' Ska fans?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:33,
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It was aItsy-bitsy,
Teeny-weeny,
2Tone plokadot
That she wore, for the first time today.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:39,
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Basiclly a hover to get sand out of bumholes and verious other oraphases.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:25,
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Brilliant.You could call it 'The Shower'.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:27,
Reply)
I'm talking about when you get it _right_ in the oraphases.As in, like, internally.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:36,
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Needs a petrol motor attachment at some point, god, I fucking love stuff with petrol motors attached.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:47,
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You could make some attachments for the motorised fingerA nose picker for example.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:05,
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Oh and I've just received an email from Apple addressed to a Ramiro that they've booked me in for an appointment at one of their stores in the US. Very strange.I've replied saying 'you better fix my Mac this time you bunch of cunts'. I hope Ramiro gets a warm reception when he goes in.
(, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:27, Reply)
Ask them when your flight tickets arrive.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:35,
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I really want the girls to lose
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:35,
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Me too!The shower of shit-cunts that the are.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:35,
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Fucking cunts like that need to be stabbed in the face.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:40,
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That MY IDEA MY IDEA girl needs a cunting in the fuck
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:42,
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They really are as dumb as a bag of spanners aren't they?And more annoying than most annoying things.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:46,
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Same here.I'm about 20m behind because I was busy, but they're acting like right bitches, esspesh the black girl who said she done the whole thing.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:52,
Reply)
planning the food for my partygot some awesome jello shot recipes too
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:38,
Reply)
Give your guests a vodka melon.They'll love it. And with the melon being a bit of a innuendo laden fruit, you'll add to the ambiance.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:42,
Reply)
last time I had one of those it wasn't any goodI'm making them margarita jello shots
because I care
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:46,
Reply)
Put some lube in the mixIt'll go down smoother and you'll be able to tell your friends just why it glides down so easily.
The agent will love your new sales angle.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:48,
Reply)
veg oil is already used to keep the jello from sticking :D(
Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:56,
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The apprentice is a bit dull for me.I would invent a one way mirror type wind break.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:41,
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As well as perving opportunities you ensure private sexy time(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:45,
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so you can see out or so people can see in?It's better than the wank they came up with
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:44,
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Both really. So are you saying I could be th next apprentice.Cause I'll only punch alan sugar and resign day one.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:46,
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and now youre back to cunt status(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:47,
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I wouldn't want anything less(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:49,
Reply)
You'd never get the job.You can't even speak Welsh AND you're in the bottom set for it.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:49,
Reply)
Whose coats that jacket?See fluent.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:52,
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Whose boots are them shoes?(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:53,
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see them two 'ouses?mines the one in the middle
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:06,
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this is what the girls sound likeMEEEEKEEMENEEEMMMMMMEEEEEEEMEMEMEME
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:49,
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Which is also known as'TGB speaking her very best'
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:50,
Reply)
You'd be a great project managerThe moment the team of batty-women get out of hand, you could hand round your special Chumlee photos, they'll get all damp and do your bidding.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:53,
Reply)
When they got out of hand is cunt them in the fuck
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:55,
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Why not justcunt them in the fuck to start with, and then motivate them with your Chumlee photos?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:56,
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because those photos are for me only(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:58,
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Or*Yes! Yes! Yes!*
As you normally cry whilst imagining a roll in the hay with your special 'Chum'.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:06,
Reply)
I saw the serieswith the 'I went to Sandhurst' prat. I actually really enjoyed it, think it looks too easy though. I reckon I could do that
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:23,
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Go on it Amberl!Apply.
Put on your C.V 'Lost voice shouting at lesbians'
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:25,
Reply)
nahbusiness and me wouldn't mix. I'm very assertive but not in a loud, shouty fashion, and that'd be the wrong style for the Apprentice I think
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:27,
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I'm convinced I would win big brother if I went on that.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:29,
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I wouldn't degrade myself. However I remain steadfast in my belief.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:31,
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it's finished now isn't it?I reckon the formula for winning, (may not be accurate since I never watched it) is to be a bit dim, but the nicest person in the house
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:32,
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Maybe Bob would win it then?I don't mean it mate
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:33,
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that is exactly why I would win it.Plus I have no problem with fingering a minger on night vision.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:34,
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That is disgustingI no longer doubt your ability to win though
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:36,
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sorry it was a bit crass.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:37,
Reply)
I don't like the shouty people either.Shouty folk never get the best out of people, why would they?
If you're organised, confident and prepared to graft you've got 75% of the skills they need I'd imagine.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:31,
Reply)
My brother is the businessy-onebut not a shouty-type either
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:33,
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You sound more stealth like in your approach to life.I approve.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:34,
Reply)
Am I stealth like uncle Jeff?(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:34,
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No Bob. You're not.What has your student day been like today? Done anything fun? Met and gingers? Had some Super Noodles?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:36,
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WEDNESDAY = DAY OFFI have an hour and half lecture tomorrow and one on Friday then I'm done for the week. It's tough.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:38,
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And this course takes how many years?*Goes into analyst mode in anticipation of the answer*
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:42,
Reply)
Three more years.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:42,
Reply)
So with full-time tuition, you could get your lectures all done in about a year, yes?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:45,
Reply)
I reckon yeah, but wheres the fun in that?(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:46,
Reply)
You'd come out with less debt and be earning money sooner rather than later?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:54,
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true but with far lass practical experience under my belt.Plus I wouldn't get to spend six months in the states either.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:57,
Reply)
big familyit's an ongoing joke that by the type we're all grown up we'll have gone into separate professions and cover the whole spectrum. As the years go by it looks more and more likely!
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:35,
Reply)
What are your career hopes, post study?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:37,
Reply)
lawkeeping options open. Then brother with business, sister with medicine, other sister wants to work with horses, and the rest are quite varied
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:39,
Reply)
If law doesn't work out.Become a mechanic. You've missed that off the list.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:41,
Reply)
if you could do any other job what would it be?(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:42,
Reply)
film director would be fantasticI'd love to be that
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:48,
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Lampito might now some connections for you?but you're right that would be a lot of fun. I always fancied being a session drummer.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:51,
Reply)
What sort of films would you direct?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:53,
Reply)
I'd love to make a decent sci-fi movieI mean the epitome of the best deal would be making large budget films that you had a lot of control over. Mainstream wise I'm thinking David Fincher
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:56,
Reply)
I've no idea who he is.Most films bore me.
I just don't have the attention span to sit down for a couple of hours to watch something.
What would hold my attention, film wise, for 2 hours?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:59,
Reply)
Labyrinth with David Bowie(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 23:02,
Reply)
A tour de force.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 23:06,
Reply)
and goblins and singing(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 23:11,
Reply)
That just sounds fucked up.*Wishes late night thread to take me away from talking about films I've not seen*
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 23:13,
Reply)
I'm off to bedI have a lecture at ten. It's fucking draconian.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 23:15,
Reply)
He did Panic RoomFight Club, Red Dragon, Alien 3 etc. All of them very watchable
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 23:07,
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I've seen none of the films you mentionWhich is the best of them?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 23:08,
Reply)
Fightclub is well worth a watch(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 23:09,
Reply)
Well, when it's next on the telly, I might give it a go.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 23:12,
Reply)
And the usual suspects is good.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 23:15,
Reply)
I got told about the end of that film before I saw it.No point then is there?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 23:18,
Reply)
Would they be 'Arty'?You know, "Art" films. Nudge, nudge. Art.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:57,
Reply)
Wink, wink,Say no more, say no more!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 23:00,
Reply)
You're rightLampito could give me a start
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 23:11,
Reply)
TrueExcept I'm cackhanded and know little about cars
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:43,
Reply)
You sound like most mechanics I've ever employed to work on my car!(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:44,
Reply)
Life is goodJust got back from Pooflake's place where I've been mangling an acoustic version of 'Ghosts' by David Sylvian while he's been fixing my computer. Eaten a kebab and I'm just working through my first glass of shiraz.
Life is just great!
(, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:42, Reply)
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