A girl in my tutorial group is freaking out over nothing in presentation we have to give
That doesn't actually really count for anything. Only she's directed all this freak out at me, and being rather a bitch. It's a little bit upsetting.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:07, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

cunt her in the fuck. I was actually made to hug a tree today. I'm 28
and after the tree hugging we had to build homes for soft toys in the woods. I had to have a word with myself and just get on with it.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:09, Reply)

I quite like hugging trees
Or something equaly hard. It's very relaxing and I feel so much better afterwards.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:10, Reply)

I like having my face right up against a wall but I draw the line at tree hugging.
Today was very strange.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:12, Reply)

And your pants around your ankles?

( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:15, Reply)

"I like having my face right up against a wall"
Erm, what?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:16, Reply)

I honestly didn't know where to start with that one

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Makes it easier to start licking the windows.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:17, Reply)

That's good
Nothing I could think of was doing justice to the sheer open goal he'd set up.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)

You know when you're really tired and almost dead on your feet.
Right well when I'm like that I like leaning against a wall but resting on my face. It's a bit weird now I've written it down.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Yeah, just a bit.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:27, Reply)

I bet you try it though

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:27, Reply)

Not at all.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:37, Reply)

I can't believe no-one else has picked up on this
I've got something hard you can hug, Abby...
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:22, Reply)

No, you don't
Unless you mean your supertall, superfit, superjealous, superhard girlfriend, I'm not hugging anything yours. I could lose my teeth in a fight with her
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:27, Reply)

Don't panic, she's a pacifist
unless provoked
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:28, Reply)

That's not what you've said before
Or did you only want to scare me?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)

She really is a pacifist
However I think she'd make an exception if someone tried to have sex with me in front of her
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)

You're either on a corporate team bonding event
Or your shouldn't be allowed out unsupervised...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Wrong! Miss a turn.
Literacy trail around a forest.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)

I feel the latter applies...
Because you've clearly gone there volunterily...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Wrong again, go to Hull
Part of my degree.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Build homes for soft toys in the woods?
What? In case you can't get hold of any puppies at short notice?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:22, Reply)

She's just jealous
Because you're sexier. She's probably been holding it for a long time and it's letting all go now.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:09, Reply)

Haha
Thanks :) I'm very much looking forward to meeting you tomorrow.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Yep, me too
Kitty told you that you're coming to my hotel first? You can get changed and shower there if you want. I'll take Mark out (he's already asked if we can shower all together...)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Yep yep yep
Ooh, that would be lovely thank you. I don't think I'll need a shower, but getting changed would be handy.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:23, Reply)

No prob
She's got my number, and will give me a ring when you're getting there.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Will do
See you tomorrow dear!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:32, Reply)

It's best in those situations to just suck it up.
If you have an argument then you'll end up doing a shit presentation and you'll look bad.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:10, Reply)

Yeah,
I've apologised and I'm trying to sort things out even though I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG because I hate any kind of conflict, and I have to spend the rest of the year with her. And fit Lab Partner has stepped in to my defence as well, which is lovely.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Smugly take your place on the moral high ground.
Let her go as mental as she wants.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Exactly. Take a leaf out of Monty's book

(*yoink*)
Edit: [1] With thanks to* The Grammar Badger Archive

*_{lovingly stolen from}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Didn't TGB do this?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Yes, it's been shamelessly pinched.
Hence the use of the word "yoink" to indicate its stolen status. Perhaps I should reference this one properly.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:23, Reply)

I wasn't sure, I missed it when it was first put up
I'm not getting all enraged about theft of another's art, don't worry Crow!
I will say that her she's worse at Paint than I am though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Well, it's as much my own sense of politeness
After years of being taught to reference my sources properly, I'd feel bad if people erroneously thought it was my own work!
_{I mean seriously, look at the seams on that thing...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:27, Reply)

I know, right?
It's just lazy.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Meh. Lazy or not, it does make me laugh like an emphysemic donkey.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:31, Reply)

Oh agreed
Skill aside, it's a cracking Paintsmash.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:36, Reply)

Everytime I see that picture
I can't stop laughing.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:24, Reply)

This has made everything better.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:26, Reply)

Tell her boyfriend you love to do that thing that she won't do

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:10, Reply)

this is good advice. although it has reminded me that
i was watching that programme about the teenagers with tourettes the other night. and one of them was a 16 year old behemoth with dark greasy ginger curls and a face that could turn milk. to say nothing of the twitches and the yelling.

and yet she was marauding around in an unintentionally skintight t-shirt that said "tell your boyfriend to stop calling me". er...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:13, Reply)

I think it was irony.

( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)

irony a pro-bulimia advert.
Or pro-abortion, come to think of it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:15, Reply)

ouch
but yes!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:16, Reply)

She sounds delightful

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)

O_O

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:15, Reply)

i felt very bad laughing
but it was funny. how can you not laugh at someone in an airport who can't stop themselves yelling BOMB! BOMB!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Good use of the word "marauding."

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:18, Reply)

it is a brilliant word

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:25, Reply)

"marauding around"
is a tautology, however.

C- see me.
( Kroney, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:34, Reply)

HAHA you bloody wish i would

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)

Psh
So do you.
( Kroney, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:46, Reply)

Iron his shirts?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)

I don't think she has one...

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:15, Reply)

Oh...
Well just knock her out then.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:17, Reply)

If only.
I'd probably get done for religious intolerance or racism or something.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Oh, is she One Of Them?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:22, Reply)

my friend is a lecturer
and she got asked a question by two girls at the same time, one english and one japanese. the english girl had walked up to her desk, so annie answered her first, as she was standing right in front of her. the other girl then complained that she had been racially discriminated against, and the university made annie go to diversity training as a consequence!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:24, Reply)

*shakes head and sighs*
Bloody ridiculous...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:26, Reply)

annie said the worst thing of all
was that the diversity training just served to give you a whole load more stereotypes, as you looked at the list of assumptions and thought, oh yeah, totally true dat.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:27, Reply)

I know, it's not like we used to poke fun at lacial steleotypes...

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:35, Reply)

there was a very funny story
about one of the attendees, but it's too long for here. when the right qotw comes up i'll embarrass annie and publicise it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)

you want to see the number of new apparent "illnesses" that we must make sure we don't discriminate against

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:37, Reply)

jesus h
doesn't it drive you mad??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Yes. So I just ignore it.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Nah, Scouse.
And also muslim.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:29, Reply)

this could be why
the frustration is building up
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)

or maybe she fancies applebite??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Haha! Well, she is being rude to Fit Lab Partner too since he stepped in,
And me and him do rather obviously have some chemistry...
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:24, Reply)

case closed
she definitely wants it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:25, Reply)

She clearly fancies at least one of us.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Problem solved then!

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:30, Reply)

threesome?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:32, Reply)

Seeing as she's Muslim I doubt it

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Absolutely
Religious types never indulge in devious sexual practices
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Absolutely never
they're shocking
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:36, Reply)

Hang about
I haven't slept with him on my own yet!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:33, Reply)

What are you waiting for woman!

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:36, Reply)

I have no idea!
It takes all my will power not to jump him when we're sat at the back of dark lecture theatres together.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:41, Reply)

lectures will become a lot more boring once you have though!
much more fun when you know it's going to happen but it hasn't quite happened yet.

well, ok. not as good fun as rampant sex. but you know what i mean!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)

I'd much rather have the rampant sex with an incrediblly sexy man please
As much as the fantasising gets me through the shitter lectures.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)

I disagree
At the begining it'll be great too, with all the "we should hide" and that. I loved the first year going out with Mark and trying to find places in the office to hide touch each other. Then I had to go to Sweeden :(
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)

you're both right
i'm just trying to make myself feel better
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)