my taxi driver won't stop talking
He is yammering nonstop about orange and t-mobile. Somehow he is overlooking the giant hot pink neon sign over my head that is flashing I DON'T CARE SHUT UP AND LET ME LISTEN TO CHEESE ON MY IPOD FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

So i either pretend that you lot are an email of urgent high court importance, or i fake sleep. Or death. How do you stop a taxi driver from boring the tits off you? Nil points for "don't get a taxi".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 8:47, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Pretend you're forrin and don't speak English.

( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 8:48, Reply)

Hahaha, I'm totally doing that to Wicca's son when I stay with her.
Although it's more I'll walk up to him and start speaking dutch at him. :D *glees*
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 11 Nov 2010, 8:50, Reply)

How old is he?

( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 8:51, Reply)

Good lord. You're quite incorrigible.

(Cave Duck, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 8:53, Reply)

Hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 8:54, Reply)

He's 10.
I'm quite looking forward to it...
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 11 Nov 2010, 8:55, Reply)

Oh he'll be easy to fool then.

( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 8:57, Reply)

ahaha I know...
I'm feeling a bit evil just thinking about doing it though.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 11 Nov 2010, 9:05, Reply)

Oh, that puts my above comment in a different light.
To be clear, BGB = Not in anyway a deviant weirdo.


(Well not in an age inappropriate way)
(Cave Duck, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 8:59, Reply)

People have such a low opinion of me.
I can't think why : (
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 9:01, Reply)

"People have such a low opinion of me."
Wrongest of all internet untruths.
(Cave Duck, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 9:06, Reply)

That won't work.
Read the Guardian, that normally puts them off.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 8:50, Reply)

dutch, eh? i couldn't pull that off, i'd just sound like i'd had a stroke
Haha but this is add lee, not a black cab! So his politics are prob less right wing than hitler
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 8:53, Reply)

Or say something offensive
like "I think people with mobile phones are all morons"
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 11 Nov 2010, 8:53, Reply)

Just before your own phone rings.
Too much of a risk.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 8:55, Reply)

Or
"How many jobs do you have? I'd imagine you can't pay your mortgage just by driving this stinky taxi..."
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 11 Nov 2010, 8:57, Reply)

Nooooooooo.
Being rotten to taxi drivers is not a good idea.

You'll end up rolled in a carpet in Epping Forest.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 8:59, Reply)

It's like this Muslim guy who picked me once on his cab
and was trying to convince me that Spain was still Arab, as we're mostly the same, and he considers himself Spanish as he was born in Marocco, and Spain belonged to them once. And he was giving me examples on how similar we are, you know, food, costumes...

I had to bite my tongue not to say that our main food is pig, and we love it over any other meat. And that we drink alcohol like crazy. And that no, we don't pray 5 times a day...

I was too scared he'd crash the car with me on it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 11 Nov 2010, 9:02, Reply)

It takes a special kind of mental to be a cab driver.
And I used to drive a mini cab.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 9:04, Reply)

Are you a Muslim obsessed with the reconquering of Spain?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 11 Nov 2010, 9:08, Reply)

al-Andalus, if you please

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 10:02, Reply)

I got a taxi driver the other day
who won't stop talking about his favorite ever Spanish food: Ali-oli!

Really? For how long can you talk about mayonaisse with garlic! Just shut up!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 11 Nov 2010, 8:52, Reply)

exactly!!!!!
Urgh. I do enjoy provoking the black cab drivers because their right wing politics make me look like a woolly liberal, but this bozo is still chuntering about the importance of mobile phone reception to a cabdriver... It's one word. Very. I get it. Now shut it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 8:56, Reply)

Really?
He shouldn't use his phone on the taxi, anyway. Even free hands are dangerous. And how did he work 10 years ago?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 11 Nov 2010, 8:58, Reply)

i'm not asking that, it'll take him another thirty mins to answer!!!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 9:01, Reply)

How long is this taxi journey?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 11 Nov 2010, 9:05, Reply)

from kensington to the city?
About 6 miles. So in central london rush hour, about five hours...

45 mins ish usually.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 9:08, Reply)

45 min
You'll be an expert in mobile companies by the end of it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 11 Nov 2010, 9:11, Reply)

i am praying to go deaf
Nearly there now though!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 9:14, Reply)

I like making aoli actually. It's fun.
and you can make chilli or saffron or coriander aoli. I dunno. I just like cooking.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 11 Nov 2010, 8:57, Reply)

That sounds good
This guy asked me for the recipe, I gave it to him, and he said it sounded too complicated and he rather buy it in the supermarket.

Let's see: mayonaisse + garlic... too complicated?

Coriander ali oli... I have to try that one.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 11 Nov 2010, 8:59, Reply)

it's really really amazing.
make your basic ali oli, then finely chop up about a quarter of a cup of fresh coriander, and mix it through. Nommy goodness.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 11 Nov 2010, 9:07, Reply)

I'm going to try that
Thanks for the recipe!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 11 Nov 2010, 9:07, Reply)

Anytime - mum always told me to share my recipes.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 11 Nov 2010, 9:22, Reply)

recipes sweets
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 9:30, Reply)