The Dutch have said that they want to ban tourists from buying weed in coffee shops
As part of a general crack-down on drug use.

What would you stop tourists from doing in your new world order?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:25, 85 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Procreating.

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Harsh

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:36, Reply)

No, 'Hash' the Dutch want to stop the tourists buying hash.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:39, Reply)

But fair.

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Standing in front of me taking photos

(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:28, Reply)

I promise I won't do that.
I'll stand next to you instead!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:32, Reply)

As long as you don't take photos of my milk.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:36, Reply)

manmilk or moomilk?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Either.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:38, Reply)

Or moosemilk?
Did you know you can milk a moose? Apparently it makes good cheese.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:38, Reply)

did you know you can milk any mammal?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:41, Reply)

Like the time you milked that bull?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Ha!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:48, Reply)

The cheese tasted like roquefort

(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:00, Reply)

I'd pay good money to see you milk a cat.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:04, Reply)

well the only reason I took a photo of the moomilk is because we don't get milk in glass bottles anymore.
It was novel. :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Forming groups of more than five people.

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:29, Reply)

Touring is my answer.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:30, Reply)

Walking slowly in large groups strewn out across the entire width of the fucking pavement
You fucking mongs.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:32, Reply)

^^THIS

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:50, Reply)

"if you cain't speak amerkin then you need ta git out"

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:33, Reply)

Do you get many tourists 'round your way'?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:41, Reply)

Fucking LOADS in Williamsburg.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:44, Reply)

NEVER BEEN :((((

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:45, Reply)

Well I'm likely to be over next year so I shall make you.
The old courthouse has the cells where Blackbeard's pirates were held, and the university buildings were designed by Christopher Wren. It's excellent.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:48, Reply)

that's cool as fuck
make sure it's the summer time so I can go to Va Beach and get drunk by the ocean
xxx
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:49, Reply)

My father's holiday home is just a bit further on from VA Beach.
It's here: www.chincoteague.com/
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:53, Reply)

stop trying to impress me

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:01, Reply)

I’m trying to recruit you to liven up my holiday.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:06, Reply)

Where as I'd love to give it a bash, I don't think we like to have the same kind of fun.
You'd be bored quite quickly, I'm afraid.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:12, Reply)

You've got to be mindful that Monty hates everything
So it would just be a chance for him to do something new that he hates doing, rather than him having fun.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:14, Reply)

*crestfallen face*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:19, Reply)

I think K is worried the 'Feds' will be all over you 'cos of your love if the MDs.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:23, Reply)

nah, I just don't know how to act around people I don't really know
I could get him drunk and take him dancing at the beach.
That's a good time for me.

Besides, mds make me want to lick everything.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:26, Reply)

And you can get K to put you in touch with someone who will sell you MDs

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:50, Reply)

I have a chap in W'burg for them already.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I don't do drugs, Jeff.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:11, Reply)

Good for you.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:13, Reply)

IT'S BORING.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:15, Reply)

Then you're doing them wrong.
But good girl anyway.
( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:18, Reply)

oh, I meant, it's boring NOT doing them

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:23, Reply)

Oh! sorry *laughs*

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:27, Reply)

fuck loads because of
this
also, it says nearest city is Luray but they lie, it begins in Front Royal
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Been there : )
We had stopped off and sat to admire the view and the peace and quiet when another car pulled up with a load of Chinese, (I think), who got out and proceeded to cause all manner of annoying sounds. Jabbering, clicking cameras and I think there was music blasting the the bloody car.
( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:48, Reply)

Is it nice there?
I'm not impressed with the 35mph speed limit. Driving at that speed, you've not got much chance of knocking down a bear.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:48, Reply)

If I were from a city I'd admire it more, I took this photo last year

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:52, Reply)

That looks fantastic.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:53, Reply)

It is OK but quite honestly I think the lake district has much nicer views.

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:55, Reply)

I love the Lakes.
And I'll bet the Scottish highlands would offer some opposition to that pic of Ks as well.

Either way, it looks fantasitc.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:56, Reply)

That might actually be the wall I peed behind.

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:57, Reply)

I heard you went into the park but you didn't actually come up this far did you?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:01, Reply)

I can't remember to be honest.
I know we didn't get to the top.
( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:02, Reply)

I took like 200 fucking photos that day. Farther up than I've ever been, and this scared this piss out of me, I could hear the lines crackling above me

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Paying for hotels and restaurants, buying frivolous trinkets and pouring much-needed money into the country's economy.
Bastards.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:37, Reply)

They don't even speak our fucking language.
One time I went to London and the only time I heard the English language was when I went into a shop and spoke to the assistant.
( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Is that because you were listening to your iPod for the rest of the time?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Holidaying in countries other that their own.

( Peej, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:44, Reply)

I'd stop them snapping photos
of us through the college gates and asking if sub fusc is our uniform
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:45, Reply)

I'm going to take photos through the college gates
and shout out asking if ugly is the uniform

because that would amuse me
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:46, Reply)

it would be a bit mean
because ugly is the uniform
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:04, Reply)

Well, that'll learn you to go to Oxford
you bring it on yourself.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:49, Reply)

nah I don't go to Oxford
I just like wearing subfusc and confusing the tourists
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:09, Reply)

Congregating in huge numbers
RIGHT AT THE BOTTOM OF THE FUCKING STAIRS IN UNDERGROUND STATIONS, all wearing massive rucksacks and TOTALLY BLOCKING MY WAY ONTO THE PLATFORM.

I say, there's a 20 minute 80s Ben Elton standup routine in that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:46, Reply)

Damn you, thought-thief.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:48, Reply)

Or cunts who wait 'till the very last second to step off the esculator so everyone else has to do it last second, except they can't see it coming because some cunt won't take two steps forward.
Last week, the train to farringdon from Kings Cross was 5 people deep all along the platform, and some cunt barged past me and two other people, he then got on the train and blocked me from getting on, except some tourests were pushing me forward and if I didn't get one, I'd fall onto the track when the train goes and I got quite scared and eventually I got on the train and he wouldn't put his bag on the floor so it took up more body space and throught the whole journey I was yelling in my head "You fucking prick, I hope you fucking fall under the tracks and then try to climb out but the train comes and it cuts you in half and you're still alive as long as the train doesn't move... but it will move eventually, and they have to call a priest and all that.... cus that could have happened to me, when you barged past me. Fucking prick, I bet you think you're some hot shot MP or lawyer or something, but really, you're scum of the earth, fucking dirtbag piece of shit, I'm glad your wife is cheating on you (I made up a story in my head about how his wife and kids hate him)".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Wanking through my letterbox, it's a major problem
Actually, I'd quite like them to stop fannying about on the Royal Mile in my way.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:47, Reply)

I was putting my Oddbins shopping away, ok!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I've thought about this for 5 minutes
I still can't decide if you are referring to letterbox onanism or Edinburgh obstructions.

Top work ;)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Breathing mainly
But ultimately, they're not allowed to conduct Lord's Prayer Wanks, that is a strictly English thing, and I will not allow that to be taken away from us!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:50, Reply)

A couple who were friends of my parents
lived in Jane Austen's house in Winchester. It's owned by the college. One day the woman came out of the shower to find about 20 Japs in her sitting room, all taking pictures of her colour family photos on the mantelpiece, the thick cunts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Taking 'comedy' perspective pics
That make them look like they're propping up the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:52, Reply)

I've done that,
if you're in pisa and don't do it you're a fool.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:57, Reply)

I agree with Lab

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:08, Reply)

pfft

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:14, Reply)

I would stop them
asking inhabitants of Warwick where the Castle is.

IT'S THAT FUCKING MASSIVE CASTLE OVER THERE!!!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:57, Reply)

An old friend of mine had a brother stationed as a guard or something at Windsor Castle
Apparently a tourist came up to him and asked him what time the 1 o'clock gun was fired.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:59, Reply)

*facepalm*

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:03, Reply)

I got asked in the summer
if Edinburgh castle was "Like, a real castle?"

I could come up with all sorts of pointlessly smart-arse comments, but I was just genuinely taken aback that there is any other type of castle.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:00, Reply)

Since Warwick Castle is now more a theme park
I was often posed that same question. *sads*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:04, Reply)

they were probably thinking of White Castle

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Bringing their irritating, noisy, hyperactive children with them
And wearing socks with sandals
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:03, Reply)

We don't really get tourists in Guildford.
I saw to that.
( Kroney, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Are you not the bearded lady then?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Alas, I am not
Neither am I Captain Birdseye, Special Branch or Fisherman's Friend. All of whom are less famous, but no less extraordinary inhabitants of my fair town.
( Kroney, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:08, Reply)

While I was living not-so-far away from it
Tower Bridge was still being repaired (it might still be, I don't know) and so only one side of it was open at a time. Having only one pavement condensed all the tourists into half the space, and so trying to walk across it was even more of an ordeal than normal. As my friend and I tried to perambulate at a reasonable pace, a tourist shuffled out of the information office and just stopped right in front of us, clearly oblivious to any of the people trying to get past him and right in our way. My friend clapped his hands sharply and said "EYES UP!"
I've never seen a tourist move so fast...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:05, Reply)