I'm back, motherfuckers
Vietnam was fucking brilliant, I bring back with me some great memories and a keen appreciation of just how ridiculously cold our silly little island is. I also bring back about 700 photos but thanks to whatever thieving cunt of a baggage handler who caused the box the camera came in to disappear, no means of downloading said pictures to Facebook.

So, what have I missed?

Alt Q - if anyone has Vietnam-related questions please fire away, it's really nowt like the films suggest. Before you ask, no I did not have a massage, with or without a happy ending, no-one solicited me using the words "sucky sucky" or "me love you long time" and yes, I will be peppering most of my posts with references to how you wouldn't understand cos YOU WEREN'T THERE and how good napalm smells in the morning.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 7:59, 56 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Sorry
Just for a few seconds... I didn't want to... I'll delete mine and post it later.

Good to have you back! Where are the pictures?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:00, Reply)

I typed out a long speech and you deleted it : (

( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:02, Reply)

I'm sorry
I checked before deleting...

Oh, it's not my day today. I'm going to go to a corner in the toilets and hold my knees and wait for it to be time to go home.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:04, Reply)

Pictures are on the camera
USB cable is in the possession of whoever nicked the box which they assumed would have the camera in it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:04, Reply)

I'm sure you can get another USB cable easy today
I have tons at home.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:04, Reply)

I've found that any usb cable, so long as it fits the camera, will give access to pictures.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:06, Reply)

Exactly
One of the things I like most about my HTC is that it can be charged using just a usb cable, so I can use any that I find around.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:08, Reply)

I've got a micro-USB connection on mine
Still pretty rare, so irritating if I'm not at home
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:44, Reply)

Mine is a micro too
but I have a few of those as well as adaptors and that.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:46, Reply)

I don't understand why you can't download the pictures
Doesn't your camera have a SD card?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:03, Reply)

Yes
but we don't have a card reader
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:05, Reply)

Wrong
Card readers and USB cables are everyday tools that should be at any household. Can't your laptop read the SD card directly?

I think you need to go shopping today and get these 2 very important items.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:07, Reply)

Why would we have a spare Canon USB cable?
The idea that most households just have laptops that can read SD cards and spare card readers lying around suggests you've spent too much time on B3ta
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:16, Reply)

Hahaha
You get a USB cable almost with anything electronic that you buy today! I have tons of them!

Is the canon connection different to a normal mini USB?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:19, Reply)

Looks standard according to Google

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:44, Reply)

This Darth... he knows nothing...

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:47, Reply)

if it's canon
then the usb cables are standard ones and are available for small amounts of 'money' from something we call 'the internet'
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 9:01, Reply)

Go to one of those machines in Boots.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:12, Reply)

You've missed the start of the World War 3
Just kicking off in Korea. Suspiciously near where you were, according to my atlas of the british empire.

Oh, and some prince is giving us an extra bank holiday next April.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:04, Reply)

Next April's no good to me
I'm jetlagged TODAY
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:15, Reply)

Jetlag doesn't exist
You're tired because you haven't slept enough. Just wait until this eve, don't have a nap during the day, and go early to bed. Sleep all night and you'll be perfect for tomorrow.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:16, Reply)

Try telling that to Poppet.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:34, Reply)

Hello, old boy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:36, Reply)

Hello my good man.
You ran through my mind last night like a waterfall swollen with hydrochloric acid - I have a bunch of 60s and 70s vinyl I'd like to give you first dibs on. Nothing spectacular, a bunch of quadrophonic samplers, some brass, banjo, gypsy, a fuckload of James Last, Kampfert, some musicals and a wonderful RAF aircraft noise record introduced by Douglas Bader of all people, and a seven-LP box set of Glen Miller.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:44, Reply)

Fucking excellent!
Douglas Bader is my father's all-time hero.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:54, Reply)

When I get the broadband back I'll take photos of everything and email you.
They're mostly in great nick. There's two copies of The Sound of Music, one with two storybook inserts, which I'm sure will float someone's boat. I'm tempted to keep the 7" original release of What a Wonderful World though.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:57, Reply)

Please do - I'm very keen to have a look.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 9:04, Reply)

I tell that to anyone!
I didn't suffer jet lag in my trip last year. Yes, I was tired the first day, as I hadn't slept in almost 48h, but you keep going with a bit of coffee, good night sleep, and go on. I did 3 long haul trips, and didn't have a jet lag problem at all.

Mark had warned me about it,as he's suffered it before, but then he followed my instructions and didn't have any problem either.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:48, Reply)

I've suffered a few times
but nothing too heavy. I slept for 22 straight hours when I got to Malaysia.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:51, Reply)

I'm actually pretty good with sleep now.
But my sleep pattern was still in australian time - I'd get to midafternoon here, where it would be like 2 or 3 am back home and be utterly exhausted. I haven't had a nap in three days now though. *pleased*
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 9:24, Reply)

Frankly I don't care what you call it
All I know is that I was travelling, or waiting to travel, for 33 hours yesterday and scarcely slept during that time, and for some reason I woke up at 5.30am this morning after 6 hours sleep and now I'm at work.

I still want that Bank Holiday today please
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:55, Reply)

5.30, eh?
Same time as me... interesting... (mine on purpose, though)

Just go to bed not too late tonight, and you'll be fine.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 9:00, Reply)

5.20am for me
Hungry child = tired dad
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Oh, yes
I've got 2 job offers, one in London and the other... I'm not sure. In theory in Madrid, but only if Mark can come with me. He's been offered a job by the same company in Chile, but he'll only get it if I can go with him. So... maybe I'll stay in London, who knows.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:06, Reply)

Congratulations!
Both fantastic news, good for you :-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:16, Reply)

Thank you
Mark and his English blood are driving me mad, though. Everytime I get excited about Chile or Madrid he puts me down saying that we don't know anything for certain yet. He doesn't seem happy or nervous about it. I've had 2 conversations with human resources, and he's got none, and he doesn't care... I think he prefers London, clearly.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:18, Reply)

Not getting overexcited about things when they are not a dead cert
is the Englishman's way of dealing with the suspense.

Also, London is fucking excellent, so he may well prefer it to smelly foreign-land. As a MASSIVE RACIST you surely understand this.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:34, Reply)

Because London is neither smelly...
nor full of foreigners. Bollocks. I was there last night and there were scarcely more English speakers than in Saigon
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:46, Reply)

It drives me mad
but he says he doesn't have to get excited about anything, as I do it for the two of us. I just wonder how he can go on as if nothing happened instead of spending the day wondering why they haven't called him yet!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:50, Reply)

It's a defence against disappointment
which is most Englishmen's default state until the age of about twenty, at least until they get laid.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:52, Reply)

I suppose so
But I bet he'll still be dissapointed if he doesn't get the job, even if he doesn't show it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 9:00, Reply)

london is bollocks

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 10:19, Reply)

London is ace for about a day
then it gets right on my tits.

Although I had a lovely weekend there.

Hix is horribly over-rated though.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:47, Reply)

O/T was significantly less gay in your absence

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:19, Reply)

I don't think we got any bumder alert during 2 weeks.

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:20, Reply)

A new record

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:21, Reply)

It was, in fact, 92.4% less gay,
an amazing feat, since the day before yesterday Vippers caught AIDS whilst cottaging. And it was STILL less gay.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:32, Reply)

Did you get to meet Paul Hardcastle?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:35, Reply)

Sadly not
As I'm well over n-n-n-n-n-nineteen I failed to spark his interest
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:44, Reply)

Unlucky.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:55, Reply)

I'll repeat my joke from ages ago
Napalm Darth?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 9:24, Reply)

Anal Cunt.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Harsh

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 9:48, Reply)

POTD so early...?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Vietnam was not brilliant!
Thousands of people died for fucks sake.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 10:03, Reply)

word up.
Good morning Darth Foxtrooooottttt!

I taped Strictly for you while you were away.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:45, Reply)