Customers
Working for the Co-op means I get to see my fair share of ignorant idiots when it comes to serving age restricted products..

If you are lucky enough to look under 21, I will fucking I.D you. I wear a giant red badge stating this fact, so don't start tutting and mewling, just show me the I.D.

If you are acting like a prick and swagger up to the counter clutching a bottle of WKD, I will I.D you.

Waving your car keys in my face is not an acceptable form of I.D. Just because you drive your mum's Nissan Micra does not mean I'll be serving you any fags or booze.

I couldn't give a toss if you are actually 25, 45 or 105. Don't rant on about how you got served at Asda...fuck off back there then.

If you've left your driving license at home, don't look at me pleadingly and hope that I'll take pity on you and serve you, I won't.

You can swear and curse, stamp your pathetic little feet and bitch about how ridiculous we all are. I still won't be serving you 10 Lambert and Butler.

The majority of customers just produce their I.D, but there are still some cocky fuckers who think this is beneath them and have a fit in the middle of the shop.

If you have ever been asked to produce I.D and you have had a go at the till staff, they're just doing their job. We can get fined, arrested and lose our jobs if we are caught serving someone underage.

Oh and to the one arsehole who threatened to kill one of my staff because they wouldn't serve you a single can of Carling, it was us that put your car window through, you MASSIVE ARROGANT CUNT.
( Scary Mary The D'oh Fairy, Sun 4 May 2008, 18:47, 20 replies)

Being on the far side of 30
if I got asked for ID, I'd be thrilled to bits
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Sun 4 May 2008, 19:03, closed)

I actually was ID'd last week
Despite being, 27 greying and old before my time. I could have hugged the surprised looking till girly but decided that would have made for a different set of problems.
(Leonard Hatred briefly did some work on, Sun 4 May 2008, 19:11, closed)

I have grey hair and a full beard (also greying)
I don't fucking look "under 21", I look my age which - thank you for reminding me - is advancing. One of the supposed benefits of getting older is that I shouldn't have to put up with this crap any more.

The last two times I've been ID'd in shitty supermarkets I've been buying a crate of Banks's Mild - an old man's ale if ever I heard of one - not fucking alcopops or lagers.

I don't carry ID any more because I'm over 30, of course I'm going to get angry when some bovine fuckwit refuses to serve me and my little sister has to bail me out and produce her ID instead.

Fucking hell, I could understand if I actually *looked* underage, but I've been buying beers since I was 14. Why start IDing me 16 years later, now I'm past it?

Jesus, you've just reminded me how fucking angry this makes me. Perhaps I should post it as my own peeve. Fuckwits.

[edit] oh, oh, and then when the cud-chewing shitbrained tillmonkey says "treat it as a compliment" I just want to kill the retarded bitch. Don't tell me to treat it as a compliment, I'll treat it as the massive fucking inconvenience you've just thrown in my path, thank you very much. If part of your job is to try and gauge how old a customer is and you get it wrong by a factor of over 30%, then you're either stupid, shit at your job or trying (and succeeding) to wind me up. And while we're on the subject, just doing your job? Wasn't that the Nuremberg defence?

Christ, I don't even get ID'd in the States any more, where you actually *have* to be 21 to buy booze.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Sun 4 May 2008, 20:01, closed)

I was ID'd at a baseball match in San Diego
aged 35!

And then the girl wouldn't accept my passport as valid ID. WTF did she want from me? My passport is the best form of ID I have, as a Brit.

Fortunately her boss came out, took one look at me and told her to serve me my beer, so all was well.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Sun 4 May 2008, 20:34, closed)

Like I said
some people have a fit...
( Scary Mary The D'oh Fairy, Sun 4 May 2008, 21:01, closed)

Like I said before
If part of your job is to try and gauge how old a customer is and you get it wrong by a factor of over 30%, then you're either stupid, shit at your job or trying (and succeeding) to wind me up.

Any tillmonkey who asks me for ID because they think I'm under 21 has effectively told me that I am two thirds of my actual age. If they were to try and give me two thirds of my actual change, I'd be angry about that too. Why should I have to put up with it?

I think I'm justified. I'm just glad to learn it annoys you too.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Sun 4 May 2008, 21:25, closed)

A-ha!
Your supreme fat gobshite-ness explains why you work in a Co-op.
(Purple Jessop Jessoping Purple all over your father, Sun 4 May 2008, 22:30, closed)

All well and good...
...if it wasn't for the fact that the average IQ of the employees at my local co-op is around three. Yesterday, for example, it took around ten lines of dialogue to even communicate a request for baccy of the right variety and packet size. A variety that was apparently out-of-stock, except maybe for the whole shelf-full I helpfully pointed out, hiding right in the middle of the area they'd just been scouring for a good 30 seconds.
(misanthrope is so adjective he's verbing nouns!, Sun 4 May 2008, 22:31, closed)

No...
I think Scary Mary has point. I don't for one second think that she's being arsey about it. I certainly don't think that she would personally take it upon herself to refuse to serve someone who is patently old enough to buy booze/fags/glue just because she felt like being a twat that day. I've been asked to buy booze and fags by chavs on their behalf, and have always refused. Not because I don't want them to have fun; simply because I don't want to get caught and prosecuted for the privilege.

Oh, and Purple Jessop - at least she's working for a living. Cut her some slack for that at least. It might not be the most glamorous job in the world, but I've certainly been grateful in the past that the Co-Op has been open late enough for me to buy fags.

And Scary Mary - as you were. Stick to your guns and don't get sacked for buckling under pressure :-)
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 May 2008, 0:41, closed)

I work for them too...
And I sympathise! XD The amount of arseholes I have to be polite to...

The snobs who have moved into the village for its "community feel" - make your revolting children behave and get some manners. These people in general are sickening and fucking annoying.

The collection of village alcoholics: Sorry sir, no White Star today. No I cannot magically produce it from that wonder that is the stockroom, nor will I let you off the 50p you're short of.

If you are rude to me then I will do the same for you. Whoops, sorry I just squashed your loaf! -I got told off by one customer for being "cocky" when I had to explain to the dimwit that the tins of baked beans she had picked up weren't on offer - try reading the labels!

When can we have a QOTW to rant about people like this?!

Don't get me started on I.D-ing people! *grrr*
(Dregen, Mon 5 May 2008, 1:11, closed)

Ah Co-op
Or the United Nations as the Cambridge branch is known as.
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 5 May 2008, 9:40, closed)

Right
I accept that Scary Mary has to deal with all kinds of chavs, wankers, teens and chancers trying to buy booze. I can understand that they are obnoxious and dealing with them can be difficult.

But here's my facebook picture:



Observe the beard. Observe the grey hair. Observe the grey bits in the beard. Observe the wrinkles forming on my once-smooth face.

I AM NOT "LUCKY ENOUGH LOOK UNDER 21".

Anyone who tells me I do is either retarded or being pissy for the sake of it, and I make no apologies for getting angry with them. They are just acting out a little power-trip for their own amusement because let's face it, being a tillmonkey is a shitty job and it's the only chance they'll ever get to feel important.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 5 May 2008, 10:28, closed)

it's that t-shirt, emvee
I've only been ID-checked for moving between countries and some exams. This includes buying rounds at 15. I love country pubs :)
( evilstevie misses the Orange Place of late, Mon 5 May 2008, 18:26, closed)

emvee:
have you ever considered the fact they might be IDing you for their own personal amusement? After all, you are a monumental bell end.
( dotmund .co.uk, Tue 6 May 2008, 19:28, closed)

Working for the Co-op is actually not bad,

Plus I love the fact that there are some people out there who think that shop work is for idiots and far beneath them.

Thanks guys, you arrogant bunch of felchers.
( Scary Mary The D'oh Fairy, Tue 6 May 2008, 19:34, closed)

Dear Emvee,
you look like a penis
Love,
me
x x x
( 100% kitten better than ever, Tue 6 May 2008, 19:51, closed)

*sigh*
@DotF:
"They are just acting out a little power-trip for their own amusement"

"have you ever considered the fact they might be IDing you for their own personal amusement?"

You really fell off the fucking perceptive tree didn't you?

@kitten
You should have said that to my face when we were drinking together in the Stanley. You know, when you and Gibbon invited me back to your place at the church? Or are you only tough when you've got an internet to hide behind?

@Scary Mary
Three years in retail as a tillmonkey myself, thanks. I was bloody good at it too, I got headhunted by another store and was later asked to be part of the staff when my particular retail chain opened a new flagship store. I don't consider any kind of work beneath me - I've done it, that's how I know it's shit, but I'd do it again if I needed to. I just wouldn't waste my time IDing people who are old enough to have children old enough to buy booze.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 7 May 2008, 11:06, closed)

Judging
peoples age can be hard. I worked in Asda for a while and used to get peoples ages wrong all the time, asking 27 year olds for ID is embarrassing for me as well but if you get it wrong and let someone who is 17 but looks older buy alcohol or smokes then its a £1000 fine and the sack. Worth taking a bit of stick for.

emvee, having grey hairs and a beard don't automatically get you off needing ID. I wouldn't ID you, but under different lighting you might look different. I know a few under 21's with grey (and receeding) hair, my boyfriend had a manly beard from the age of 16 which got him mistaken for a lecturer on his first day at uni. Point being some people are very hard to judge.

If I had my way everyone would need ID even wrinkly old people just to stop the chancers moaning when they get asked for ID.
(antenna, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:11, closed)

No it's not
It's not £1000 fine and the sack, 99.99% of the time it will be a 17 year-old going and getting pissed with his or her mates and no-one will be any the wiser. And any 16 or 17 year-old worth their salt will have a fake ID anyway, I know, I used to manufacture them when I was at school. I did a mean line in "Prove it!" cards straight off the school's art room colour printer.

What, do the government and police send particularly old-looking children to try and buy booze from shitty supermarkets (and note, I never get this kind of crap from Sainsbury's) just to check that their staff have been trained to recite the party line?

Like I said, when I was 14 I looked the oldest so I used to go and buy booze and we'd go and get pissed down the park. No-one got fined, no-one got the sack and on the few occasions that anyone asked me for ID I had two failsafe options - firstly an "I am 18" badge from a birthday card and secondly a hand-written note from my mother, which was never refused.

Maybe I grew up in a more innocent time, but I fail to see why this is such a big deal these days, to the extent where I have to prove my age despite having a drinking career spanning nearly two decades. Is it so that when they finally introduce ID cards for everyone, we're all so cowed and used to the concept that we just roll over and bleat "if you haven't got anything to hide you've nothing to fear"?

Christ, am I the only one who thinks that we should stand up to these mealy-mouthed neo-fascists who think that just because they sit behind a till they can see your ID on demand?

Oh, and it's always in Nowheresville, The Provinces, too. I haven't been ID'ed in London, ever. Perhaps because London attracts a more intelligent class of tillmonkey who can actually judge a person's age accurately?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 7 May 2008, 15:35, closed)

I got asked for ID the other week...
Made me smile for at least an hour - I'm 39, have grey in my hair and beard.

Funniest thing was though - the girl on the till had to then ask permission to sell me alcohol.

Happy days...

This QOTW is VERY therapeutic (sp?)
( snee held his breath since, Thu 8 May 2008, 8:20, closed)