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With the fencing club at Plymouth Uni went to busy pub en-masse no seats---one of our number 'pretended' to be sick on a crowded table using a tin of mushroom soup with carrots in it (alledgedly he always came prepared) we then all dive over and start picking bits out & licking our fingers---Suddenly the table is free...Funny that...
(archstanton The gold is next to me....leave me be, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 18:35, Reply)

Polish food
My Wife is polish, so we eat a fair bit of polish food. I dunno how you spell it, but i'm sure somebody will correct me.
My favorite is when my wife gives me a cocklick me-aloney. I also like car-park-at-ka.
we have too much boring soup, but last night we had something that sounds like biggus dickus. I bought a huge fucking freezer recently and its filled with little plastic containers of stewed cabbage, except its now orange in colour. I tell her that I love the stuff, but really I'd rather be chomping down a curry, or a huge chicken burger from my local kebab shop. I recall at Christmas, I cooked a traditioanl english Christmas dinner on the 25th, but she made polish Christmas dinner on the 24th, - there were 12 dishes - 1 for each disciple, and one of them was a red soup which tasted basically of vinegar.
( turb0t, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 18:28, Reply)

Mexican food
Last year I went to Mexico for a month to stay with 2 Mexican girls I'd met in Paris (1 had boyfriend other not interested grrr)

Anyways 3 days after I arrived they were having a giant party to celebrate them finishing their docotrs degrees, this was a family thing. So this prompted me into being very very careful over my food during the days leading up to the party. My blood craving meat eating self become almost vegan (side note: Mexican meat is famously full of evil germ, you'll never see a Mexican getting sick from food while traveling)

Anyways, after 3 days of craving proper food I went to this party and enjoyed some really nice well cooked food. Every thing great. I even meet a fit Mexi bird and arange a date the next day.

Have a lovely date at a nice restaurnt and am craving more meat so I order my fav dish of medium rare large steak. Cue me next morning emptying my body of all food/water from all orafices and spenindg 2 days being looked after my new bird and my doctor friends. And the worst bit is while I was getting better we went to a little town called Tequila. Guess what they make there? Too sick to try any of the wonderful booze "10 year old 100% pure tequila" *sob

That'll teach me fornot being picky.

Sorry for length and girth but it does the job
( Crap Little Monkey Deathstar, so good they built it twice, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 17:56, Reply)

My mate...
My mate Russ from Newport in Wales, was a really picky eater and would only eat a bit of pizza now and again....One day Russ can't get out of bed very very ill, the Dr is called who does various tests and discovers that Russ actually has bonafide malnutrition ( a la Ethiopia etc)...If he hadn't been living at home he probably would have expired!!!
(archstanton The gold is next to me....leave me be, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 17:50, Reply)

More korean food
Ok, so I've eaten some gross korean dishes, most of which I didn't enjoy, but the bibinbab was ok. And I was also eating some mushrooms I think, although wait, they are fucking chewy, nope they are snails. bleugh. But I find something good on the menu, something safe that I know I will like, deep fried king prawns in batter. I had a nice big plate of battered prawns, there must have been 10 on the plate. They looked tasty. I picked one up, bit it and CRUNCH. no, not the batter, but these bastards had deep fried the prawns in their shells, with the legs and tenticals and head and everything all in the batter. I lost interest in trying to shell the prawns.
Note to self: rice is safe.
( turb0t, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 17:46, Reply)

Korean Food
I work for a korean company. The European HQ has a huge canteen and lunch is provided free for all staff, you have a choice of korean food, or korean food, or korean food, or English salad bar, and sometimes roast vegetables/meat. But I work in the data center, its about 4 miles away, and has no canteen, but they still provide food by means of sending over a courier with a contained of korean food dishes prepared in the EHQ canteen.
Or as an alternative we can have £5 to spend on food in teh local high street shops.
Initially I tried the Korean food. It makes your breath stick, your teeth rot, and you shit in an uncontrollable manner (as I write this today, the toilets are being unblocked again, and we are also on the 4th set of cleaners who have resigned over the *disgusting* condition of the toilets). Anyway, whenever my boss take us out after work for a 'social', he always takes us to a korean restaurant, where you have to sit on the floor and you have to take your shoes off and leave them at the door. I couldnt pick anything out on teh menu - I couldnt read it - it was all in korean, I asked him to choose somthing for me. Boshintang. I was given a soup dish, with a brownish watery liquid in it, floating in it, bits of meat I think. I ate it, and wondered what it was, I examined a few pieces of meat on the spoon, approx 3/4inch in length and sort of tube-like. What animal does this come from? What part of the animal does it come from ? It was the dogs intestine. Excuse me while I retch.

Appologies for length, girth, etc...
( turb0t, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 17:41, Reply)

james_tiger_woods' post about eating bits of food off his brace reminded me
that I used to have a brace too - I believe I was 11 like Mr Woods. Perhaps 12.

You know those little birds that hop around in a crocodile's mouth and pick out all the detritus around its teeth? The croc gets clean teeth and the birds get free food.
I used to have the same relationship with my rat, Clicquot. She'd stick her furry little head in my mouth (like a lion-tamer's routine but mini and with roles reversed) and lick off all the gunk around my braces.

And yet she wouldn't eat mint-flavoured sweeties. Damn picky rat.
( Bob Todd whee, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 17:38, Reply)

Tracey
My friend Tracey came to visit me while I was living in Japan. She refused to leave the house unless I was with her (so when I went to work, she stayed inside and watched Japanese television) and refused to try any Japanese food, especially sushi. So I cooked her a pasta dish and she complained about it and said she only eats meat and two veg dinners. She wasn't joking. Even her wedding breakfast was roast chicken, potatoes and veg.

(I had more luck with the karaoke though; she said she would never, ever do it, but after one particularly hard drinking session, I saw her on stage, with beer all down her front, singing. What's more, she had chosen a Japanese song and was making up the words (e.g. ching pung wing wong) at the top of her voice while some Japanese girls cheered and clapped. They probably thought she was singing the Chinese version.)
( thealternativefact, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 17:16, Reply)

urinal cakes
a guy i know once ate half a trough lolly/urinal cake for a bet.

I'm thinking he's not too picky with any food
(Handel blah blah blah, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 17:03, Reply)

Thanks Frankspencer
You've reminded me......

I used to have a false tooth - you know the type that was attached to a plastic thing that sat on the roof of your mouth with the tooth attached to it (I now have some very nice bridgework thank you!).

At the end of the day I would inpect the plastic bit for the food that had accumulated there.

And eat it.

Well, I was 11...
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 16:59, Reply)

hoogie
A friend of mine would hawk up an 'oyster' and keep in in in mouth, pulling it out with his fingers so it stretched like a string of pale green mozzarella into the light. Then he'd wind it round his tongue for extra flavour and swallow it again, smacking his lips. He also used to take out his brace and lick the food off it that had been gathering there all day.

I think I'd draw the line there. Or some miles before there, actually.
(frankspencer, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 16:55, Reply)

Consumption
I have a real problem with Consumption - it's most upsetting.

This might have gone wayyyyyy over your head so go here: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Consumption
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 16:53, Reply)

i have a slight problem
digesting some of these food hater answers :)

ill eat anything really. except bullshit...

tho saying that i do have a friend who hates milk, it makes him wretch. i ask him how his mother fed him as a baby. he says "she breast fed me" and i dunno what else to say after that really.
(MajorAsshole when will then be now?, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 16:47, Reply)

Rice
A former* (nutcase) friend of mine couldn't eat rice without dousing it liberally with vinegar.

By that I mean anything with rice - Chinese, Indian, anything - it was vile. It wouldn't matter if the food had been prepared by the hands of the Gods, it had to have vinegar.

The freak.

* We don't talk any more - she's too out there......
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 16:34, Reply)

hulk
Never been one to eat the melted crud off the floor, but I know the type.

Although when I was 5 I I did eat all the goo from inside my Incredible Hulk stretch armstrong. Or at least I got through one arm full of goo before my mum caught me. Yummy.
(Darth Vegas Poke It With A Stick, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 16:27, Reply)

Hot food
No, I'm not saying I don't like hot food. (Hot as in temparature hot as opposed to spicy hot that is).

I find that I can't eat hot food at lunchtime - Not for a sinister reason, but because it makes me sleepy. Afternoons are a complete waste/failure after that as I'm drowsy up until hometime.

Not unlike now as I've had a hot lunch and I've got very little* done.

* If my manager asks, I dealt with a lot of client queries hence the lack of tangible evidence as to my work. Honest.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 16:20, Reply)

Doritos
I ate an entire family-size bag of tangy cheese Doritos last nght and this morning I did a fart that burned a hole in my seat. I think the polar ice caps have melted just that little bit more.
(frankspencer, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 16:09, Reply)

monkey jism
I used to eat anything, except for Dates and marzipan ( the devils bellend jam/curd/whatever )

This included raw sausage & bacon, small stones, worms, ice, tar and chewie from the path floor..

Did anyone else eat tar and floor 'chuddie' in the great heatwave of 76?? We used to live off it...

I remember once we poked an old blokes saliva pool as well!

Halcyon days!
(markov1723 Annoying Bavarians since, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 15:52, Reply)

Marmite
Sorry about that Vipros. Try this; a spoon of gods own yeast extract in spag bol, really beefs it up, though reading that back, it doesn't sound too appealing.
( abefroman skating on the thin life of modern life on, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 15:45, Reply)

abefroman
alas, I can only eat cheese melted

and as I have previously stated in this QOTW, cucumber is the worst thing in the universe

I'm grateful to others for new tips though

and james_tiger_woods, marmite and butter on burnt toast is sublime!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 15:27, Reply)

fruit is salad
it's just WRONG.

apples. waldorf salad or whatever it is. sultanas in coleslaw. bleah!

i also can't stand anything sweet and salty together. like chocolate and peanut butter. i love chocolate, don't care for peanut butter, but together... oh god it makes me dry heave.

and i can't eat bananas. it's a texture thing.

having said that, i try each of these things once every year or two, just to make sure i don't like them.

that's it :)
( fross Read your email on, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 15:21, Reply)

Peanut Butter
Peanut Butter and banana with or without cheese.

MMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmm

Yes, I will be dead from a coronary by my 31st birthday.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 15:18, Reply)

Mmmmmm
Marmite and peanut butter on toast is the best thing in the world.

Marmite and marmelade on toast is the worst.
(Sameranda, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 15:16, Reply)

dirrrrrty
yeah, apparently the 3 second rule is popular with head chefs all over the land.

dirty motherspongers.

if its been on the floor, its infected.

may never eat out again.

also, never eat from a Morrisons cafe.

I know what happens there.
it is a bad place.
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 15:09, Reply)

Germs
Is everyone aware of the 3 second rule when eating food after being dropped on the floor.

If you pick it up before 3 seconds the germs haven't yet got to it.

This doesn't apply however if it has been dropped on dog shit etc.

I have a friend who is a fussy eater but did pop an E tab into her mouth after she had picked it up of the floor from a pool of sick in a club toilets - (wasn't even her sick).

Well, you would, wouldn't you.
( girlinthehole, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 14:56, Reply)

Beer
I have a beer intolerance.

I've found that if I drink it, it makes me wee a LOT - if I drink more, it makes me vomit.

I've found a not dissimlar thing with Wine except it doesn't make me wee quite as much.

TMI?

Sorry.

Not.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 14:49, Reply)

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
Among many other unattractive character traits, my ex-girlfriend had quite a few hang-ups about food.

For one, she was very thin, which led a lot of people to speculate as to whether she had an eating disorder. She didn't and, in fact, would complain that she would gorge herself on junk-food and put on no weight. The fact that I am a man of rather stocky build meant not only did this kind of self-pity fall on deaf ears but also that people would comment on my similarity to King Kong carrying away Fay Wray.

Secondly, she held herself out as a devout veggie but didn't see wearing leather boots or, recently, buying a big mink coat as morally exclusive to this ideal. She now lives in that coat seemingly oblivious of the fact that she is sheltering in hollowed out animal.

However, most interestingly she had what she initially described as an 'allergy' to tomatoes. Of course, this is a common lie among fussy eaters who just don't want to be found out and, oddly enough, one day she managed to eat a veggie burger with tommy sauce without breaking out in hives, choking or blowing up like a bouncy balloon (which might have been an improvement upon her very slight physique).

It turns out that what was first described as an 'allergy' of tomatoes turned out to be a PHOBIA of tomatoes. The IDEA of tomatoes actually SCARED her. From that moment on my friends and I, being the sensitive souls we are, would have literally minutes of fun chasing her screaming round a room with slices of pizza, bottles of heinz and other foodstuffs that have had the slightest acquaintence with the fruit of fear, before she'd go off to a corner and sulk.

Apologies for length, she left me soon after because of a similar complaint.
(jfalle, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 14:36, Reply)

Marmite
Burnt toast, cold butter, cold marmite.

It just doesn't get any better so just kill me now.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 14:19, Reply)

Marmite and...
Bovil (on cold toats).





simply. awesome.

is it woo-some to get last post?

edit: dam. its only frickin wednesday. thouhgt this qotw was going on forever.
(i anglepoise, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 14:17, Reply)

another one for Vipros
Marmite and honey on hot buttered toats.


best.
thing.
ever.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 13:56, Reply)