Old people VS Technology:
What wierd stuff do the oldies in your life get upto when confronted with the modern world?

e.g my gran who bought a top spec pc which I installed for her, she sat down in front of it and turned it on, then she picked up the mouse of the desk and pointed it at the screen trying to click the icons like it was a remote control.
OR
My nan who unplugs EVERYTHING at night, power cables, tv arial, phone socket!
( Manofmilk walks without rhythm but still attracts the worm, Fri 30 Apr 2004, 12:55, Reply)

Who's the twuntiest twunt
you've ever met? Personally, not people who are famous and twunts.
( ArthurTheRat, Thu 29 Apr 2004, 21:39, Reply)

Feet
Ever trodden on the feet of somebody important? I one trod on Paul Daniels shoe, luckily i didn't tread on all of him.
(Craig [Est. 1985], Thu 29 Apr 2004, 21:30, Reply)

Kan't Find Chicken?
What does KFC really stand for?

Not quite a question of the week, but not a challenge either.
(i am definitely not a towel (or simon pegg), Thu 29 Apr 2004, 18:56, Reply)

Evil siblings
Sure my sister picked/still picks on me as she is older, but I never really realise how much of a bitch she was then untill I tell people. This would give people a good opertunity to get there own back for getting torment (especially if you grew taller than them)

My expreiance inludes...
paying to shove my foot down the loo, paying for soapy warter in my eyes, paying to swallow half a bar of soap, pushed down the stairs, being convinced to curl in a sleeping bag before said sister lies in it and uses you as a bumper when sliding down stairs, tying me up in school ties with a friend and locking me in the cupboard for 3 1/2 hours (I actualy enjoyed that compared with being made over/having my hair lobed off)
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Thu 29 Apr 2004, 16:53, Reply)

Most embarrasing public moment
Parents revealing your 12-years-old-and-still-wetting-the-bed secret to a full street of Saturday shoppers.



Or was that just me?
( jmptdc Mark the perfect man and behold the upright, Thu 29 Apr 2004, 16:48, Reply)

Scars!
Really stupid reasons..

Or Photoshop scars as a comp
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Thu 29 Apr 2004, 16:47, Reply)

is it marmite or marshite ?
you eiter love it or hate it.
incidently i love it.
(codiak, Wed 28 Apr 2004, 15:43, Reply)

The story about the one that got away
Girl/boy that is. Not fish. Unless your tastes run that way.
(Kaer, Wed 28 Apr 2004, 9:05, Reply)

Hello Nasa?
How come i can't get no Tang? shut up!!

posted on behalf of H.Simpson
( cooler_king That's no moon!, Tue 27 Apr 2004, 10:55, Reply)

How about
go away, you smarmy boffin.
(Roland Deschain, Tue 27 Apr 2004, 1:02, Reply)

How about
Don't you have anything better to do with your time?
( MooCow_Byter, Mon 26 Apr 2004, 21:26, Reply)

how many items or property
have you had stolen, damaged or covered in spraypaint by barries (chavs/townies for you non-cambridge people)?
(Dinsdale v Spiny Norman, Mon 26 Apr 2004, 16:17, Reply)

Did you ever
do a poo in your pants? In public? Were there lots of messy farts too? Did you do a poo so big it made your pants sag? Or was is watery poo, and did it seep through your kecks and out your pants?
(Roland Deschain, Mon 26 Apr 2004, 1:43, Reply)

have you
been in public without your underwear?
why?
where?
did you enjoy it?
(hingesII, Mon 26 Apr 2004, 1:16, Reply)

Where the hell is Jimmy Hoffa?

(Roland Deschain, Sun 25 Apr 2004, 19:45, Reply)

If
You could make a film,budget unlimited, who would be in the film and what would it be about?
(Lord Monkey of Yorkshire,OBE killed a gipsy on...., Sun 25 Apr 2004, 14:23, Reply)

well i have 4
1) where'd tha cheese go?
2)to be or not to be
3)what is 5893x37485+576y-237e++274?
4)k a serious one...what is the weirdest thing you have hallucinated up while high

not me but a freind was so bluggin high he 'dreamed' up a moose that obviosly wanted to GORE him cause he got up and somehow started running around screaming MOOOSE, MOOSE!!!!
(That guy with a hat., Sun 25 Apr 2004, 12:26, Reply)

As the average age of b3tans is sliding into the late 20's...
...and we'll need some practice for when we're old codgers anyway, how about things that make us grumpy?

People who use rear fog lights in light rain, people who fart while your eating.

People who wake you up, cutting their grass early on a Sunday morning just because you were playing Motorhead classical music 'til 2am 9.30pm (honest!).

People who send you stuff that you've already seen on the b3ta website and they claim a mate of theirs made it!!

People who are always moaning & complaining- er a bit like this post.
(JcmS, Sun 25 Apr 2004, 10:23, Reply)

Am I really insane?
My psychiatrist says that I'm not though!

(God- he makes me so maaaaaddddd!!)
(Saddle-Sniffer, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 22:41, Reply)

If you were a Klingon doing your laundry,
Would it be a "Good day to dry?"

(I need help!)
(Saddle-Sniffer, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 22:37, Reply)

If you put butter on a cat's paws,
and throw it out of your bedroom window- will it land on it's back?

(Make that three!)
(Saddle-Sniffer, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 22:36, Reply)

If breeding is essential,
Why is it such good fun?
(Ooh-err two in a row!)
(Saddle-Sniffer, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 22:33, Reply)

Ultimate Question....
If little girls are made of "sugar and spice and all things nice", how come the best bits always smell of fish?
(Saddle-Sniffer, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 22:10, Reply)

What 's the worst act of animal cruelty you have commited?
And I'm talking mammals, not some pesky worm or ant. We're all guilty, let's face it.
( abcdefghijklmnopqrtuvwxyz123, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 20:20, Reply)

horrible childhood torments
my brothers used to torment me to f0ck- here's a selection-

one thing that used to bother me is driller on the c64 - my brothers used to put that on knowing it made me cry.

telling me fig biscuits were squashed fly cakes so i wouldn't eat them.

They also played public enemy backwards for the sole purpose of saying it was demons to make me cry.

A few times they woke me up telling me the house was on fire, taking advantage of my near-dreamlike-close-to-hallucinagenic-state they told me to put the house out with the first thing they thought of - this would usually be something like lasagne or turds

The WORST thing i can remember, is on old car stereos or some clock radios - at the far end of the listenable range, you can pick up a test signal (i assume for aeroplanes or something) - my dad used to have a job and it involved driving around to customers - when we were younger my brothers and i used to join him - when he went out the car they used to put this sound on, and i would f88king scream until it went off (i was 3 at the time ok??!?) - i still can't listen to it now - its an awful awful noise - the double-whammy of its sh1tness is that my brothers used to threaten me with beating-ups if i told my dad - so i had to endure the noise until i saw my dad come out from the customers house. this could be anything up to half an hour/hour - believe me - i f{cking hate that noise.

another one is my middle brother (i have 2) once put a plastic turd in my potty, and my mum praised me by saying "goooood booooy" in this way i cannot describe - until my brother told her it was fake - she wasn't pleased with him, to this day they still tell people this story. and my brother still does the impression of my mum.


Just in interest, me and my brothers get on great now :D

- do you have any stories of mental torment from siblings?
(stomm, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 3:03, Reply)

Busted!
What's the worst thing you've done as a kid when your parents were away? Did you get away with it?
(Embee90, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:55, Reply)

Trains, planes and automobiles
What's the most tragic, ludicrous or maddest journey you've ever been on?

* Airline food.
* Kids kicking the back of the drivers seat for six hours.
* Trains that go fucking nowhere. Slowly.
* Smelly/nutty bastard sat next to you on the bus.
* Coach trip to Angola.

Everyone must have at least one good one!?

Aye!
( Linbox has a serious dunk habit, Thu 22 Apr 2004, 16:00, Reply)

Have any of your school friends become famous?
And have you ever tried to extort money/free tickets/fame out of them by reminding them of the "good times" you had at school?
( blindmelon, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 18:13, Reply)

Losing your virginity; good or bad?

( pxyzyzygy, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 14:36, Reply)