Customers from Hell
The customer is always right; would anyone care to testify that this is utter bollocks? (with examples)
(listentomyopinion, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 10:01, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

What's your favourite number and why?
The most people that have ever been in the same room as me whilst I've been having sex is approximately twelve. As such my favorite number is the number approximately twelve.

What's your favorite number and why?
( Captain V, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 21:38, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Right: sod you, then!
What has made you walk off in a huff? Did you have to accept that you were wrong later, and did you extend it beyond what was reasonable? (Like the time I didn't talk to someone who had been my best mate for about 3 years, cs he thought it would be funny to trip me up)
(pins, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:40, Reply)

We all know the "Jamaica" No she went of her own accord "joke"
Can anyone else torture the English language to bring on some even worse spangs on a related basis? DtH, I'm looking at you...
(Dr Teeth Who asked you, you fuckin' hobbit?, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 1:49, Reply)

Inapropriate clothing
Tony Benn MP was less than impressed when i turned up very hungover to interview him, as i was wearing last night's clothes - a t-shirt with the slogan 'i hate old people cos they smell of wee'
he was in his eighties.

when has a wardobe miscalculation caused you problems? bonus points for stories that involve lingerie or the word 'crotchless'
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 1 Sep 2008, 19:27, Reply)

i once ate a dozen creme eggs on the trot...
What's the stupidest amount of food you've eaten?

And what were the conseqeunces?
(Mike_ss ARRRRRR (oooh) RRGGGHHHH, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 12:41, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

lets get hitched...
my proposal to the future Mrs. Spimf involved a concealed kitten, industrial fireworks and some very irate neighbours - how did you, or would you propose to your beloved?
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 30 Aug 2008, 22:27, Reply)

Get your motor runnin'......
What's your favourite or worst story which involves driving?

I have a story, but I'll save it if this question gets picked up......
(The Stig, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 17:13, Reply)

"Mark my words, by 1984 every person in the UK will have their own personal hovercraft"
Willenium predicted that my last suggestion would make QOTW. Willenium was wrong. What bold predictions have you made, only to watch as events went the other way?
(pins, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:12, Reply)

How did you turn your other half gay?
I've known a fair amount of people who have gone through the most horrific relationships only for their other half to say I'm gay, so tell us how you did it?
(Sickpup, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 22:03, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

What should there be a law against?
For example:
People who play music loudly from their shitty mobile phones.
People who walk through town on a rainy day with a fucking golf umbrella.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 28 Aug 2008, 16:38, Reply)

Disgusting
and with a final push, fluid, poo, blood and screaming a baby slid/poured onto the mattress.

not 'quite' how i imangined seeing my son for the first time.

whats the most disgusting thing youve ever seen?
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 13:00, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Special Olympics
The UK has done great at the olympics blah blah, but what if there were a special olympics that featured you, with your amazingly unique talent.

I personally would get a gold medal in the Spolympics for Ikea furniture assembly. I am the master that knows no equal. I even have an electric screwdriver.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 18:50, Reply)

What have you gotten away with?
What stupid things have you done and gotten away with? I would tell you, but I haven't got caught yet.
(NERDYLURKER is attempting to divide by zero, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 18:14, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Life At The Movies
It's sometimes more entertaining observing the well-behaved, quiet and considerate members of society at the grand old picture-house than watching the bloody film you paid out for.
The ones who yak at 110dB right up to the second the film starts, then glower at those who are so into their own chat that they haven't noticed the actual flick *start* give me a laugh. It's not always the girls either.

What good reason for buying home cinema stuff have you seen/heard?
(Naughtius Maximus Stuck on the blog, desperate to log out., Wed 27 Aug 2008, 13:51, Reply)

As we're speaking of gullible right now: How were / did you propose(d)?
Well, yes,

Being not so young and still gullible, i proposed my current wife 2 years ago, after nearly 10 years of ups and downs.
Reading all these fine stories, many people have done this (or been done this to :-), so there should be many more fine stories...
(bloody kraut, a ...ach, there is not enough fluffeh 'ere, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 12:15, Reply)

Novel solutions
Tell us about your own novel or unique solution to a problem that you faced. Were you extra creative because you were drunk? Did you take a torturously long way round because you were being dim? Or do you think you had a genuine moment of genius and saw through the thin fabric of reality to the underlying truth?
Example: I put a shirt in my mates brand spanking new washing machine with a bunch of toothpicks in the pocket. The toothpicks passed through the holes in the drum, and congregated in the pump, which it didn't like (dunno why). Luckily my mate is a mechanic, so all the tools I needed to dis-assemble the machine were right there. I got to work, and, despite gashing my finger to the bone removing one of the weights, had almost completely reassembled it by the time he got home. The only thing that remained was a spring clip that needed to go round the rubber seal just inside the door to clamp it in place, and I had been srtuggling for a while to get the ends to meet, stretched round the mouth of the drum, and clip the fiddly bastard little clip together. Dean had a go as well, and in the end told me not to bother, as he had a tool at work that would be able to pull the two ends together. I was determined to finish what I started, despite the fact that it was now nearly ten at night. Then I had a flash of inspiration. I described my plan to Dean, and he told me I was clutching at straws, but I went ahead anyway; I took a zip-tie (cable tie, to some of you) and cut it into short pieces, I then inserted these pieces one by one between the coils of the spring to lengthen it. When I had enough in place, was able to easily hook the two ends of the clip together, and then pull out the pieces of zip tie, resulting in a working washing machine, praise rather then a pummeling from my mate, and a warm glow of satisfaction.
(pins, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 7:49, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Random alcohol souvenirs
after a night down the pub, what have you brought home that wasn't in your inventory before you went out?

I found a semi-dozy hedgehog in the road and brought him back in to finish off his kip. Imagine my surprise when he snuck into my living room from where I'd left him to slowly turn and nose-to-nose stare at me and freeze out of fear.

I let him out the front door after that.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:20, Reply)

That's when I knew it was going to go horribly, horribly wrong
Thw worst kind of disaster is the one you see coming, but are powerless to stop. You've got just one moment to go "Oh SHIT" before something spectacularly bad happens. Tell us your stories.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 16:50, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

annoying ads
or commercials, for our american brethren(and sistren).

it was a hubba bubba ad that made me want to smash my telly. i don't care what they said, there's NO SUCH WORD AS FUNBELIEVABUBBLE!
*seethe*

what ads have cheesed you off and why?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 14:57, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Lets have something nice for a change.
What has been the best day of your life so far?
Please try to be more original than wedding day or the birth of your children.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 25 Aug 2008, 1:01, Reply)

Destruction Souvenirs
It's like the movie Office Space: the engineers find they're about to be sacked, so they steal the shit fax machine that never works, take it out into a field and bash it to bits.

If I were leaving the restaurant I work in right now I would take the pain in my ass rice warmer that never closes right no matter how hard you slam it, fill it with tramp piss and leave it on a train track.

What would you destroy? Or- lucky bastard- what have you destroyed? What inanimate object will go down when you do?
( salamander, Sun 24 Aug 2008, 22:55, Reply)

A fetishistic experience in an inappropriate situation
There is an Irish girl at my work. One time recently she was training me up on something. Her accent was really doing it for me in the sexual sense and it was a struggle to concentrate on what she was actually saying rather than just what she was sounding like.
Have you ever experienced anything fetishistic under such inappropriate circumstances?
(Gandalf, Sun 24 Aug 2008, 20:14, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

The first time I used a computer.
When I was young, I remember playing a simple game in school in which an aeroplane would fly across the top of the screen, and drop a "bomb" which was a letter, if you pressed the letter, the city below was safe. A very simple game designed for five year olds on the BBC Micro (those were the days!)

What was your first experience of using a computer like?
( Squiggy Alloria makes theme parks., Sun 24 Aug 2008, 20:06, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

"its all gone to shit"
what have you done that when you look back can be classed as an EPIC FAIL
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 18:30, Reply)

Mad crap that schools/organisations got you to do which wouldn't be allowed now.
We all know that kids nowadays are mollycoddled at school and such, but what dangerous/odd stuff did you to under supervision?
( Monty Propps, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 13:02, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)