Pushy Christian fundamentalists
How do you ward them off?
A friend of mine once had a Jehovah's Witness follow him down the street talking to him until my friend said he really had to go. The JW goes "Okay, give me your number and I'll call you." My friend is like "I'm not giving you my number, I don't know you." The JW is like "Okay, here's my number." Okay, whatever. I wonder if he was surprised when he didn't get a call.
(mariam67, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 16:40, Reply)

Sandwiches
I am currently eating a sausage and calamari sandwich, and my housemate is big into spam and peanut butter sandwiches...

...what strange sandwich stories do you have? Or even just your peculiar favourites?
( Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Fri 17 Apr 2009, 13:56, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Food poisoning
As I've just spent the last 2 days shitting water while throwing up after 2 bad scotch eggs how about everyone recount their own tales to make me feel better?
(Sickpup, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 18:03, Reply)

I once saw a man well into his eighties rollerblading down the high street in weston super mare.
What's the coolest thing you've ever seen an old person do?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:42, Reply)

House parties
An old schoolmate managed to spend the night of his house party lying semi-conscious in the front garden in a pool of vomit while his house was ransacked by gatecrashers.

What was the most epic housepary you've ever been to and why?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:16, Reply)

One that were mentioned during this weeks QotW
School Trips - (almost) everyone had 'em, and almost always carnage ensued.

From inappropriate use of a plastic sword in Barmouth to Groping in lifts in Paris, I've got a sackload of wrong that I could contribute.
(Teiresias, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:29, Reply)

Sick!

This topic can be explored on many levels.

Vomit
Illness
Bad taste

I defy ANYBODY not to have a story to tell that involves sick in one form or another. I know I have loads...Probably too many for my own good to be honest.

Spill your guts.

(carrot chunks optional)
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:13, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Competitions
I just saw a competition to win some Primeval merchandise, with the fantastic question:

Who heads up the Primeval team?
- Professor Cutter
- The song 'The Cutter' by Scottish band Runrig
- A Leaf Cutter Ant

Give us your stories about weird competitions you've entered or seen
( flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 22:10, Reply)

Ridiculous arguments
When I was at University, an American girl once told me we shouldn't have a Hawaiian theme for a party because it was racist:

'How would you like it if loads of Hawaiians dressed up as English people and had a party, huh?'
'I wouldn't give a fuck.'
'Oh...'

Tell us about stupid stuff people have tried to convince you of.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 13:30, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I would do anything for love, including THAT
My loving wife has had to drag my drunken body to bed when I've passed out, put medical cream on some of the nastier parts of my body following injuries and illness, cleaned up pools of my bodily fluids when I've been unable.

What have you done for the one you love that you wouldn't ever do for anyone else?
(Wooden meal is. Or is he?, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 13:15, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Songs.
Songs that make us smile, laugh, cry or have played an important part in your life.

Oh yeah, and why?
(Mr. Cunt put the indy in kindy., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 13:02, Reply)

Liar Liar
When I was younger and more foolish, I told a girl I was trying to impress that I had a regular slot as a DJ in a local club. To cut a long story short, which will be explained fully if this question is picked, the lie spiralled out of control to the point where I ended up stood up at the front of a club in a DJ battle against DJ Yoda.

Predictably, I crashed and burned in a manner not seen since biblical times. To save face I blamed it on a migraine and spent the next few weeks polishing my DJ skills.

Tell us all about the times when your lies have spiralled out of control and the sticky situations they've put you in.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:28, Reply)

Awkward moments
The current man and myself were recently enjoying some morning glory at my university hostel, as one does when one is young, carefree and naked.

The fire alarm went off. His (female) cousin lives in the same hostel as I do. We met her as we were all running down the stairs.

He was only wearing a pillowcase. Plus the condom.


Awkward moments!
(Holy Gabrielle is Holy, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 8:45, Reply)

Where were you and what were you doing when-
You heard about the terrorist attacks on September 11th?
(mariam67, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 5:49, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

(Drinking) Games
Not sure if its bindun, but what silly games do you play. Perhaps booze was involved...

Last year while travelling, i ended up on a beach pissed as a fart stark bollock naked after playing drinking card games with 6 strangers, "ring of fire" i think...

I also played tig at 3am after a night out with a bunch of mates, it took all of 5 minutes before the first injury. We were 26.
(Fishbone-didi, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 0:29, Reply)

That's just...I...I can't even...YOU'RE WRONG!!!
My brother's girlfriend's mum, who has three children, was told by a recent mother that her opinions and observations on pregnancy and childbirth were irrelevant because "pregnancy is different now". She last gave birth thirteen years ago. One can't even begin to go into how wrong that statement is without grinding one's teeth.

What's the wrongest or most pig-ignorant you've ever known someone to be? Try not to raise your blood pressure too much thinking about it.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Sun 12 Apr 2009, 2:19, Reply)

The bane of your life...
For me it's looking incredibly young for my age - sounds good to most people but actually involves getting asked for ID into your late twenties and having to explain to new people/clients at work that actually, you're not on work experience thanks very much for asking.

What is the fly in your ointment?
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Sat 11 Apr 2009, 15:16, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Police
Any stories of interactions with those keepers of the peace. Did you lie your way out? Made a dash for freedom? Get pummeled for your efforts?

What encounters are memorable for you?
(barrycounty, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 22:24, Reply)

Festivals
very brief, but good subject to share your stories of festival fun :)

oh and also appropriate as festival season is fast approaching
(Lord Chode, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 0:45, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Biggest Lie on a job application
Filling in a job application ?
Qualifications don't quiet match the job spec ?
Feeling a bit economical with the truth ?

Go on what's the biggest porkie you've ever told on a job application and more to the point did you get away with it, and what were the repercussions?
(Petemac, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 18:11, Reply)

Wanna Feel Old?
In a hackneyed attempted to spam my new blog, I would like to ask people what events and occurrences have happened that have made them feel a lot older than they actually are. Yelled at kids for playing in your garden? Find yourself watching Countdown? Tell us what makes you feel old.
(__, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 10:23, Reply)

Shit ! I dropped it.
I bet most of us are clumsy idiots and have at some time, with disastrous / comic effect and/or timing dropped something important.

It could be the wedding ring, the baby, the boarding pass, the wrong person's name into the conversation at the wrong time. That sort of thing.

Tell us how your cack-handed body / mind has let you down by dropping something vital just at the wrong time.
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 12:37, Reply)

Fancy Dress
I know this one's been suggested before, but it appears to have sunk without trace.

Tell us your stories about humorous incidents that arose whilst dressing up for a party or even to go on stage.

I'm mainly just reiterating this suggestion because I noticed that SpankyHanky promised a story involving a Batman costume and semen, which he might be inclined to tell were such a question asked.

Me? Last Hallowe'en I went to a party dressed as the Paedo-finder General from Monkey Dust. This was hilarious to absolutely everybody except those who were not me.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 15:51, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Inappropriate Product Placement
The Mrs and I are currently trying to have a sprog. I went to get my sperm checked out for quality and flavour. Thought it was pretty inappropriate when the receptionist came round and offered everyone waiting a treat from a plate, all nicely arranged; they were jaffa cakes.

Tell us about your experiences of inappropriate product placement.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 10:08, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This one time, at band camp..
I'm fairly sure I'm not the only music geek in these parts who has attnded youth orchestra courses and the like, what geekiness have you got up to? And how hilarious was it?

Even if you're not a muso, we've all attended youth camps and sports camps. What hilarity has ensued?
(Duckeee Is nothing special, in fact, she's a bit of a bore, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 22:58, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Arch Enemy
We've all got one, be it in-laws, the ex or your boss. Tell us what dastardly schemes they have concocted to spoil your day...
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 18:13, Reply)

Moving house
I don't think this has been done. But there must be endless tales of hilarity and woe in connection with moving house.

Mustn't there?

Please?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 16:20, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Mobile phones
Love them or hate them, I'm sure everyone's got a story about them. Whether it's a drunken text, finding someone else's phone, or that twat in the carriage pretending to talk on one when it starts to ring, tell us your story.
(Smale is stuffed, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 10:15, Reply)

I'd quite like a QOTW on buses.
I know we've had one on public transport, but I think one specifically dedicated to buses will bring out the the more exotic stories. Particularly occasions where the timetable hasn't been stuck to or if the bus driver has left the bus for a wee and something exciting has happened.

See this for the sheer breadth of story we could enjoy during a Bus QOTW
b3ta.com/talk/6057959

I guess it could include park and ride
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 5 Apr 2009, 22:16, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)