The Best and Worst moment of your life
Tell us the worst thing that's ever happened to you then to balance it out tell us the best thing to happen to you
(Nahla, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Misconceptions
My girlfriend used to think 'Beastiality' just meant you liked animals better than people - she was half-right, I suppose, but the look of horror on her face when I explained the full meaning was a sight to behold.

What misconceptions have you or those around you suffered from?
(Godwin's Lawyer is more evil than Hitler, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 12:28, Reply)

Dumb instructions
An ex told me I should only smoke a ciggie with the left hand, and only stir anything in a clockwise direction. Apparently smoking with the right hand, or stirring anticlockwise, was "wrong".

What arbitrary, stupid things have you been told not to do?
(lolwhites, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 8:49, Reply)

Animal Antics
I've stepped on snakes, been chased by a blind kangaroo, been snotted on by a goat and had a mouse jump down my shirt. What animal antics do you have fond memories of?
(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 6:18, Reply)

Confession
I used to go to confession as a kid... i felt no sense of relief telling a priest I had argued with my sister or broke a plate. Truth is confession's bollocks really! or is it!?

What are your confessions? Repent all ye sins!
(Bobwithbitchtits, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 21:09, Reply)

If I could pass any law...
If you could pass any law, what would it be?

Personally, I would pass a law forcing shops to have a dedicated 'I just want to pay for my stuff and fuck off' till. No old, lonely or voucher-wielding people allowed.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 4 Aug 2010, 17:57, Reply)

Pubs
Pubs are great - not only can you get inebriated legally, but there's a whole host of strange and wonderful characters that inhabit our regular drinking holes.

Tell us about your favourite boozer / drunken associates.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Intruders
Have you ever snuck into somewhere you shouldn't or have you ever found someone in your home? What did you do?
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 16:04, Reply)

Centre of Attention
When was the last time you were centre of attention? Have you saved a granny from getting mugged in a crowded supermarket and received the plaudits from tens of people, or have you smashed into a table in a quiet restuarant, making everyone turn and tut at you?
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 16:04, Reply)

Addictions
Despite my better nature i'm now trying to grind my third character to level 80 on world of warcraft. This may explain why i don't have a job / girlfriend.

What about you, maybe you're a smackhead, or have blown all your life savings on the horses? Share your woes.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Sat 31 Jul 2010, 15:40, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Daredevils
Are you a regular Evel Knievel?
What acts of reckless bravery and stupidity have you performed (intended or otherwise)?
( Pig Bodine., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Emergency Services
In the past I've been arrested in a Thai restaurant, been carted off in an ambulance and had the fire brigade turn up to sort out an electrical fire. All of these have caused me considerable embarrassment.

I am now waiting to have to use mountain rescue and the lifeboat service to collect the full set.

Tell us about your experiences with the emergency services.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 9:13, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

QOTW faux pas
My brother once decided that after my Grandma's funeral was a good time to tell my family my QOTW story on 'The Worst Sex I Ever Had'.

Has a QOTW ever come back to bite you in the ass? Been fired, dumped or ostracised? Tell us about it.
( Raindance Work is inversely proportional to post-count, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 18:11, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

This is a suggestion for Question of the Week BOARD, not an actual QOTW:
A B3ta book of Question of the week.

I can't imagine it hasn't been suggested or maybe simply harvested by an unscrupulous publisher, but there is some absolutely cracking stuff on here - great writing, great stories, which anyone with a robust sense of humour can enjoy.

Take say 15 topics, and print the top 10 stories in each?

What are your thoughts, peep-hoes?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 9:46, 5 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Summer Holidays
Since the little snot-nosed urchins that are our future will now be irritating parents everywhere with pleas of "Please take us to..." and "Please don't hurt me, Papa Jozef", What is your favourite memories of your school summer holidays?
(DEADLINK 's head is spinning like a child in a tumble dryer, Sat 24 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)

Crap claims to fame
I grew up round the corner from Half Man Half Biscuit and an ex-boyfriend's dad lived next door to Bill Bryson. Spurious claims to fame always fascinate me; what are yours?
(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:36, 5 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I've just made
the best cup of tea I've had in a long time.

Have you ever had a cup of tea, and what was it like?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:21, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Well done, old chap.
Tell us about the last time you were victorious.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Getting over heartbreak
Not sure if this has been done as a topic but what have you done to get over that awful, crushing feeling in your chest when you've been ditched by the love of your life?
(RVD420 has his world coming down on, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:44, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

going feral
we've all seen festivals bringing out the worst in people, in terms of filth,littering, projectile littering, pyromania etc. i thought i'd hit rock bottom when one festival, i awoke in a tent, hung over, miles from the nearest portaloo of doom with a turtle's head nudging at my balloon knot, and was forced to crab-squat over a carrier bag and unleash hell. i thought this was low, until the following year, spurred on by my scatological manoeuvres, my mate shat in a bag in his tent and then rather than walk to a bin or portaloo and dispose of the evidence, he casually tossed it into a neighbouring tent. what moments in your life have made you look at yourself in disgust?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:20, Reply)

Guilty Laughs
Inspired by that Video of the Donkey taking off.

Tell us about the times your sense of humour has overidden taste and decency, and whether you got away with it.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Knuckle-biting moments
Recently at work a database request seemed to be taking a long time. I looked to see what was going on, and my blood ran cold as I realised I had just deleted the entire company database...

Describe the knuckle-biting, eye-goggling moment that you realised something awful had happened, you'd flamingoed up in a major way, or that your life would never be the same again.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

you bloody phillistines
I'd recently made guacamole and had quite a bit left. The next day I bumped into the wife of a mate in the shop. She had a bag of Doritos in her basket so I said,
"Oh, I've got some left over guacamole if you want it to dip your nachos in"
"What's guacamole?"
"Avocado dip" I replied after a short pause whilst trying to hide my incredulity.
"Avocado? What's that? Is it like chilli?"

Relate your stories of the culturally backward.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Thieving twunts
My eldest brother once worked in an office where lots of various expensive equipment was delivered and it was always going walkies. The office manager was getting very upset as it was his neck on the line every time something was stolen.

After suggesting a security camera of some sort, the manager decided to just go for a quick fix and bought a heavy duty padlock for the storeroom door. My brother set his web cam up as a security cam without telling anyone as a backup and left it running at night.

Turns out it was the manager all along, he caught him thieving about 2 items a week.

What unlikely people have you caught stealing or heard about getting caught?
( Bamboo Steamer, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Untimely one-liners
Me and the missus attended a pram club and when the missus sat on a chair and it broke, causing her to fall to the floor I said quietly to a few of her friends "Well if there's one thing I've discovered today, is how quick can I hide a hacksaw?"

When has your silver tongue got you in deep water?
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Beer and Relationships
Why does beer bring people together in happiness?

Its Monday morning, I awake at 0600 hours as my head is thumping after another glorious weekend of excess drink. She's lying across me cuddling up, the kebab remnants and bile/cider combo are pooled on my chest dripping on to the £800+ bed purchased not 3 months ago.

I wake her and we both agree the drinking has to stop, so we did.. 3 weeks later the warmest, happiest, funniest relationship I've ever had is over, we simply cannot bear to be with each other sober!

Tell me your misery and cheer me up!
(Mr Pig, Sat 17 Jul 2010, 22:36, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Time Machine Antics
Everyone has things they would like to go back and change about our mother earth, or certain situations. What would you do? It could be something as simple as putting loads of money on a horse you know is going to come in (dull) or making changes to the timeline to prevent ceratin things happening, for example, going back and killing the founder of the daily fail...The choice is yours.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 15 Jul 2010, 12:09, 8 replies, latest was 14 years ago)