What
becomes of the broken-hearted?
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 21:19, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

What was your favourite /talk moment?

(Amo Bishop Roden to C3, checkmate, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:32, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

qotw classic mashup
how bout one that combines as many popular themes as possible

'tell us your story of sex in the workplace that involves drugs, drink or both with a bonkers workmate that somehow also involves an arsehole boss and features some cunning element of revenge and a witty putdown'
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:13, Reply)

Pubs
Tell your pub based anecdotes. Been caught taking massive drugs in the bog? Ever been barred for disagreeing with the landlord? Ever vomited over an old lady?

Share.


previously done 3 years ago. Must be some new stories since then though
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 7:55, Reply)

Are you old and decrepit ,
afraid of getting old and decrepit, or so far gone you think it's perfectly normal. Tell us your story.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 4:30, Reply)

Parenting top tips
What advice did you give to your children that didn't work out as intended? What advice did your parents give you that was really crap. Sorry, that sounds like I'm shitting on somebody's perfectly sincere suggestion.
My Dad told me the best time to apologize is before they know you done it.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 4:18, Reply)

Parenting top tips
What advice have you received from your folks that has been a real help? What what wisdom have you passed on to your children that's helped them?
(the_leander, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 11:40, Reply)

I suppose we've already
done holidays / travelling?

I once found myself hiding under a table in a restaurant in Togo, while 40 drunk Lebanese guys threw bottles at and punched the crap out of each other.

Which was nice.
(username failed moderation, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 8:59, Reply)

Technology that has changed the way you do things
Once the preserve of the neckbeard and the furry toothed, computers now seem to be everywhere and in everything, changing the world beyond recognition. How has the relentless march of technology effected your daily life?
(the_leander, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 3:44, Reply)

Inadvisable places to urinate
We've had too many poo stories. Let's have some wee stories.

I once let fly on the back wheel of a police car to satisfy a bet.
( ousgg is not seeking approval, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 20:36, Reply)

Spurious Claims to Fame
I'm sure that I was the first person to use the phrase "Swamp Donkey"........ Although an old acquaintance of mine claimed he and his mate were the first people to use the expression "thats a load of pants" to mean something not good, and of course i reckon he was a lying cocktard... but i'm telling the truth about swamp donkeys i swear.....

I know its asking for abuse, but have you any true claims to fame that you know no-one will believe?

(also, a mate of mine shagged Hatman off of Jamiroquai) honest, i swear....
(ratbagpuss, Sun 5 Aug 2012, 16:50, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

If
you were really a robot, would you want to know?
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Sat 4 Aug 2012, 20:11, Reply)

Have
you ever shat through the eye of a needle?
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Sat 4 Aug 2012, 20:05, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

One lump or two?
Do you take sugar in your tea or coffee?
Sweetener perhaps? Or do you just go commando?
Very interesting stuff...
( PooPants, Sat 4 Aug 2012, 14:18, Reply)

The Olympics
Shit and a waste of money or really shit and a waste of money?
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:47, Reply)

mothers in law
Are they all fat annoying fuckers?
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:46, Reply)

Cheap alternatives
Have you ever opted to buy something cheap to save money, only to have it end in disaster? Tell us about it, you poundshop raiding tight fisted cunt.
( Muns, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:12, Reply)

The Perfect Base
Tell the story of your childhood (or current) base, hideout, batcave or similar and the adventures that sprung from there.
(SlowLoris among the pigeons., Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:08, Reply)

rory moments.
Stories of moments when you realize you have been a fat spastic.

Dribbled the dinner your mum was trying to feed you down your shirt again? Aww that's just a rory moment.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 12:50, Reply)

Crapping yourself. We've all had little accidents and there's nearly always an amusing backstory
so tell the world about your backpassage accidents backstories.

Lets make QOTW a really shitty one.
( sneep used to date Freddie Starr's hamster, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 12:50, Reply)

Ever taken credit for someone elses work?
Not only did I do bugger all for the 'team' in quite a large and successful project, the powers that be gave me an individual award which was bigger and better than the team award. You just have to be nice to the right people :-)
(mooghead, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 11:39, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

B3ta mods are sexy
B3ta mods mums are even sexier, which mods mum would you like to do up the shitpipe?
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 11:36, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

"I'll pretend I didn't see that"
May I suggest things you've seen and wished you hadn't?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 11:14, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Mistaken identity...
Ever spot an old friend in a crowd, slap him on the back and say, "Hey you weasel-faced old cock sucker - how's it going?" only to have him turn around and be someone you don't know?

(I've got a good 'batman' story along these lines - but I don't want to waste it here.)
(minimalist ..., Fri 3 Aug 2012, 11:13, Reply)

Who won the FA cup in 1954?

( Zuowan, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 10:18, Reply)

Internet stupidity
How stupid have you been on the internet; it doesn't really make you anonymous. You know like getting a knock on the door as a result of operation ore, or if your username is ringofrye boasting about having a happy family life whilst also having an okcupid account for some sly fat gash on the side. He's deleted it now unfortunately, but I hope I've saved his loveless marriage.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 10:09, Reply)

What have you got stuck in?
Everyone loves physical comedy, and one of the most ridiculous things anyone can do is put a body part (any one you like) in something that it won't come out of. What horrific things occurred to you? Did the fire brigade and howling neighbours turn up to not help you? Did you lose vital street cred/clothing/seconds to disarm a bomb? Tell your ridiculous tale.
( Satur9 The shoes!, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 10:08, Reply)

Give us your best story...
Not too long, not a quick one liner....give us your best short story of sadness, lust, happiness, loss, love, hearbreak, best fart...whatever theme you choose.

Fucking belt it out, give us your best.
( Ken Oath, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:43, Reply)

sorry
It seems that lots of people have been mean, resulting in our toys being taken away.

Tales of being such an arse that Apolgising is the only solution??


god that sounds shit now i'vr typed it
(Captain Benzo Panda fighting, live on tuesdays., Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:29, Reply)

I got away with it.
and I've never been caught…
(perkusfux, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:23, Reply)