Confessions
confess anonamously on B3ta to ease your conscience. I once stole £50 from the person infront of me at a cash point. I suppose it's partly their fault for walking off and leaving said money but I still feel bad.
(It's Grim Up North, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 12:12, Reply)

Who floats your boat...
...but shouldn't, there must be someone, somewhere that has had a *thing* about Margret Thatcher or somebody equally as...erm...er

That's NOT a confession!
( diffy maybs, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 11:22, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

How about...
When you've been flabbergasted by complete and utter stupidity/ignorance, either your own or of those around you. For example, I used to think that Penzance was in France or somwhere. It sounds foreignny, doesn't it? I've only lived in the uk for a couple of years so I think I deserve to be forgiven, I'm normally reasonably sharp.
(schnuff, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 9:01, Reply)

The best
things on the internet: games, flash, movies etc
(Elfking, Mon 18 Apr 2005, 20:03, Reply)

the most...
... stupid thing you've ever done on holiday ...
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Sun 17 Apr 2005, 21:53, Reply)

...
the most irritating software/feature ever ...
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Sun 17 Apr 2005, 21:52, Reply)

What have you eaten
that you really, REALLY shouldn't have eaten?
(piehands, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 22:37, Reply)

The b3ta qotw mystery profiler game!
Law enforcement often profiles mystery criminals to find out who they are. We could make it the type of game only b3ta could play!

Here's how it works: The powers that be at b3ta create a bogus user (without telling us, of course) with some harmless name like "bluebeard," "upper GI Joe" or "Tony Blair." Then for four weeks or so, this bogus b3tan posts answers to QOTWs. Afterward, it is revealed which user is the bogus b3tan, and the real b3tans must go through the qotw answers to "profile" this person. That would be that week's question: name as much as you can about the character, things like gender, nationality, marital status, whatever, of the mystery (wo)man based on clues left in the answers. They could even encode clues like their name, etc. Whoever gets the most right about the bogus character gets some sort of prize.

Takes me back to my college days of playing D&D and Top Secret!
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 1:40, Reply)

how about
things you keep losing. i for example keep losing bottle tops, only for them to apper when i'm not looking for them, the bastards.
( the.jokl @jonksson, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 0:54, Reply)

The most pain ever to be inflicted on your testicles.
I remember sitting down really forcefully in the middle of a lesson a few years back at school. Nuts got themselves under my legs and were crushed like a grape under a german lady. Ouch.
( Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 22:26, Reply)

.
Hey, these last several are great!

How about "Things we like from other countries".
In my case it's fantastic UK slang. I laugh myself sore when I read some of the things you guys write.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 18:39, Reply)

Favorite movie lines
One of my favorites: Jack Nicholson to a room full of depressed psychiatric patients: "Have you ever stopped to think that maybe this is a good as it gets?"

Golden!
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 18:01, Reply)

We should re-open or repeat some of the old questions!
We have had new experiences since then, and there are more B3ta members now than there was when they were running.
( Squiggy Alloria makes theme parks., Thu 14 Apr 2005, 16:18, Reply)

Self proclaimed laws, rules and theories
Sometimes things you see out in the world conform to rules,laws or theories you have made up yourself...for example I have proclaimed the theory of "chubbing up" several times in the pub to anyone who is stupid enough to listen and have yet to be proved wrong.
This states if you see a couple where one of the partners is significately larger than the other, they have "chubbed up" during the time of the relationship rather than started dating when they were that size, The other loves them enough not to mention it.
However if they are ever dumped they will return to the original size to re-enter the dating pool
There are several other laws, rules and theories my strange brain has made up to explain human/machine/animal behaviour.

What have you explained away?
( Not just a hatstand inflamed in the membrane inflamed in the brain, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 12:25, Reply)

things your parents call you
Those embarressing nicknames your parents insist on using for you even though you are already getting grey hairs in unusual places. Mine is Whiffet - there I said it, and it made me feel dirty...
(bulleybeef, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 11:15, Reply)

i reckon
why u should be the ruler of the world and how u wouldnt fuck it up like all the cunts running it now? it helps bring out the meglomaniac in you. fun, trust me, im a doctor
(Formaly Over say's hello, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 16:48, Reply)

me idea is
wierd and friekish parts of your body.
my sister has a minute little toe, which looks like a strange stump thing and has a tiny sliver of nail on it. it's hilarious when she tries to paint it!
(hmm..yes, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 14:29, Reply)

Spectacular Leaving Speech
What's the most spectacular speech you've ever witnessed at a colleagues leaving 'do' or morning tea whatever? Shocking? Funny? Cringeworthy?
(Oogabooga, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 5:52, Reply)

Inane Arguments
When I was small and annoying, I used to always argue with another young chap whether or not it was possible to take a dump without going tinkle at the same time (I was of the opinion that you could). This guy also claimed he discovered that pressing all the buttons on your Casio Digital watch at the same time made the display go black, when that was definitely my find.

Does anyone else have any equally pointless disputes they'd like to share?
(scabb, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 3:40, Reply)

Mistaken Identity
I once spotted a girl I know talking to a bloke. He had his back to me, but I was sure I knew him too, so I ran up behind him and smacked him across the arse as hard as I could, only for him to turn round and reveal himself to be none other than a complete stranger. I nearly died twice, once of embarrasment and once from the guy threatening to kill me. The girl pissed her knickers. Please let there be someone who has had worse...
( Normanator Bad case of trapped wind since, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 17:22, Reply)

Next question of the week
What is the most ridiculous story or piece of information that you have got somebody to accept or believe.
EG Excerpt from Holy Grail
"Tell me again my liege, how we know the earth to be banana shaped"
(Betty Boothroyd's Love custard Tourettes at the KOB, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 13:08, Reply)

Man, I shoulda said...
My best comebacks happen hours after the event. I have spent many sleepless nights wishing I had the brains or the gut to say something to put someone in their place.

What great comebacks do you wish you would have used?
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 18:00, Reply)

this should be a question - if anything to reassure my nerves
driving test/ lesson disasters
(Sparkypinkguitar, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 14:22, Reply)

Hmmm question
stuff that makes you cry?

or some other crap...
(Limited IQ, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 0:50, Reply)

Meh
The stuff you should have admitted to, but didnt Just cos its more fun that way.And you may get into trouble if you do.
(Fireinzehole, Sun 10 Apr 2005, 20:57, Reply)

When do you think the Apocalypse will be?
like every-one's saying now, will the next pope be black and doom us all? what's YOUR theory?!
(frozen treat, Sun 10 Apr 2005, 16:50, Reply)

Quick and easy recipes.
Stuff you wouldn't expect to be good, but really really is.

B3ta could publish a cook book.

Mango chutney, fried mushrooms and brie on toast.
(not-colette Is that a real poncho or is that a sears poncho?, Sun 10 Apr 2005, 14:21, Reply)

A good compo would be:
MOMENTS BEFORE...

What happened just moments before JFK was shot? Or just before Neil Armstrong said his famous line? What happened just before Pompeii was covered in volcanic ash?

Open photoshop and show us what really caused these seemingly random events.
( Digeridude Lord Wellington's Beef Trapeze, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 22:13, Reply)

What do you just *have* to do? OCD etc.
Like JatMordan, I have to miss the cats' eyes when changing lanes on the motorway. When I make instant coffee, the spoon of coffee powder has to feel right before I tip it into the mug. Or there's the thing where the stuff on my desk has to be aligned *just* so... What do you do, not because you want to, or need to but because you have to!?
(Wallilay has been bored of this shit since, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 14:53, Reply)