"I've never been so insulted"
tell us about being insulted. And give us some context. "Fuck off you cunt" isn't enough.
( rob, Mon 28 Nov 2005, 15:34, Reply)

As its approaching the 12th month.....
.....maybe ask a "What have you learnt in 2005?" QotW.
( -:Coop:-, Mon 28 Nov 2005, 12:26, Reply)

My QOTW
Something along the lines of "what I found when I was snooping through my parents and or bosses drawers"
(rodgerroop, Mon 28 Nov 2005, 11:01, Reply)

Ghost of a chance
When I was younger I reportedly saw the ghost of my great grandfather. I don't remember it happening and used to be convinced I was merely being wound up by my parents.

However, recently on a 'might be fun for a laugh' trip to a medium, I was told I had untapped medium-style abilities and that I had seen a ghost once when I was younger. Spoo-ky (albeit not too spectacular or funny - I'm sure you can do better). So, fellow b3tans, let's share our supernatural experiences!
(Jimtastic, Fri 25 Nov 2005, 14:07, Reply)

Retro Christmas Blow-Out
No one can be bothered with working properly over christmas, including setting questions, so we should have a retro christmas blow-out. A free for all where anyone can answer any of the old questions they missed out on. Obviously they wouldn't be added to the different questions, just sort of have a catch up week or two. Tell everyone to say which question they're answering in the title. It would look a little messy but finally stop everyone from complaining about the great answer they've just thought of for a question that was asked a year ago.

Go on, you know you want to.
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Thu 24 Nov 2005, 14:59, Reply)

How about
People you Hate?
(Limited IQ, Thu 24 Nov 2005, 12:04, Reply)

Xmas parties
I think that office xmas parties is cracking idea.

What is your worst past or future xmas party?

This year my office are going to a cookery school where we make our xmas dinner and then eat it.

Beat that.

Edit: Also I am the only drinker in my office. So no alcohol allowence for me this year...
(Spoil Me please, oh, please, Thu 24 Nov 2005, 11:07, Reply)

Worst cristmas ever!
As a whiny and spoilt child you know the worst cristmas ever is when you dont get exactly what you want. however us cynical and scroogelike adults know that breakups, funerals, inlaws, other peoples brats, fires, and food poisoning are just the begining of what is know as the festive season.

pour your digital scorn over the cheraful bastrdas who dont have to cook for 15 and shop for finicky relatives with your tailes of festive woe.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 23 Nov 2005, 16:53, Reply)

As it's Thanksgiving here in the US,
let's have one for the Yanks!
What's your worst Thanksgiving day?

Actually, that's rather crap. Never mind!

So, how about what is your worst cooking disaster?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 23 Nov 2005, 4:04, Reply)

Jokes that no one got
Ever crack a joke that you thought was amazing but went over everyones' heads?

Was in Blackpool and the Pepsi Max roller coaster was closed due to high winds, yet loads of people were still queueing, so they could be first if it opened. "Hmm, that must be the optimists queue" said a friend, "And it's half full already!!" said I. Nothing but blank looks. *sigh*.
(Jaffa The Cake, Tue 22 Nov 2005, 12:34, Reply)

Poor taste officer jokes
How about a thread on poor taste jokes? Like this - from our office last week.
A friend was doing a crossword and was stuck on a word. He asked for help but the letters didn't match up.

"Does anything else fit?" he asked.
"An epileptic?" a colleague replied.
(Wrecked Tums, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 16:53, Reply)

There's nothing wrong with grieving after the death of someone close to you.
But some people take it too far. What examples of over the top mourning have you seen?
( MooCow_Byter, Sun 20 Nov 2005, 18:53, Reply)

Christmas Parties
As the christmas party season is fast approaching. Does anyone have any interesting stories about the annual Christmas shindig? Also, the real reason i am asking is, does anyone have any ideas for fancy dress? Our theme is Christmas (Pretty crap i know) but we are well and truly stumped for originality. Any help will be welcome.
(Bobwithbitchtits, Sat 19 Nov 2005, 11:45, Reply)

Weird Driving Lessons
I've had some really weird experiences when I was learning to drive, which started from my 1st instructor's car gearbox falling out to freak fogs and blizzards, all in the space of seven lessons.

My 2nd driving instructor almost caused me to crash...not because he was a fecking pervert but because he told me his ideals on the disabled studying to earn their "A Level Paper Tearing Certificate". I almost plowed into a roundabout while laughing too hard.

Anyone else have odd things while learning to drive?
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 18 Nov 2005, 9:26, Reply)

Adorable Pet Stories
Everyone loves talking about their pets. Especially me.
(Arctix, Thu 17 Nov 2005, 18:41, Reply)

school fights
continuing the prevalent theme in the last couple of QOTW's, we should all tell of the great tradition that is school fights.
(teasus likes tea, Thu 17 Nov 2005, 13:24, Reply)

Family
Has anyone ever touch another family member in a sexual way... may be slipping ur sister a digit in the bath to sniffing a siblings underwear....???
(dildogaggins is trying to lick ones elbow!, Wed 16 Nov 2005, 17:02, Reply)

Masturbation (again)
What is the most embarassing thing you looked at/thought of whilst having a wank?

When I was 12 I knocked one out whilst looking at a picture of Bonnie Langford wearing a leotard. (She was wearing it, not me. That would be weird.)

I still get very uncomfortable whenever I see her on telly.
(DrTugnut, Wed 16 Nov 2005, 15:48, Reply)

how about...
shopping-related incidents/disasters?

Come on ladies, there must be a few...

or to follow on from the current QOTW, "weirdest pupils/friends". Never mind the teachers, how about your cohorts?
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 16 Nov 2005, 15:00, Reply)

t'internet
What's the funniest/best thing you've ever seen on the internet.
(Starzy had a headache on, Wed 16 Nov 2005, 13:37, Reply)

Useless memories
What are the most useless things you have cluttering up your head? For instance, I can remember the words to the 'Marathon' (before it became 'Snickers') ad jingle from the late 70s: "Marathon - peanuts and caramel! Marathon - comes up peanuts, slice after slice!"

Why do I squander brain cells (I can also remember all of the lyrics to the theme from the Dukes of Hazzard)on this sort of info when I desperately need them to remind me to pick up catfood and a loaf of bread on the way home?

What useless memories bung up your cerebellum?
(ring-finger is also a verb, Tue 15 Nov 2005, 19:39, Reply)

Ideas please
I'm not sure if this has been done before. Apologies if it has. What would you do if your partner ran off with your best mate? Hunt them down? Be glad for them? Shit through their letterbox? Kick the bollocks out of the dog?

What in sweet fanny's name would you do?
(spirograph, Tue 15 Nov 2005, 16:19, Reply)

three ideas
what's the most trouble you've ever been in, ever?

have you ever tried to cheat and got/not got away with it?

what's the worst thing you've ever seen your parents/siblings get up to.
(bossypops, Tue 15 Nov 2005, 15:10, Reply)

WHY?
There must be a reason.
( Woolworth Smells of festive spices, Mon 14 Nov 2005, 17:06, Reply)

customs cnuts
I know we've had police but customs are a special breed apart. I flew to norway. nice clean shirt respectable like, but, as a result of my travelling companion wearing an adidas vest and an africa shaped medalion, i got pulled in. and had my bottom searched. and was interrogated. in the nude...
(e p f, Mon 14 Nov 2005, 16:56, Reply)

What have you done that just hasn't worked
Practical jokes that fall flat, labouriously prepared schemes that inexplicably refuse to cooperate, etc.

I had my own story, but I forgot it.
( The Coast Of Yemen, Sun 13 Nov 2005, 17:18, Reply)

How about
"What should we ask for a question of a week?"
( Dr. Strange Now Fully ISO 3103 Compliant!, Sun 13 Nov 2005, 11:22, Reply)

As per talk board
1. How did you find out where babies come from?

2. Kids say the funniest things - ie Mummy, why does the lady have such a fat bottom?
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Fri 11 Nov 2005, 2:17, Reply)

Celebrity jokes
Heres one:

Carl Morgan, producer of "So Solid Crew" is working on a new record from his prison cell while serving life for murder.
He's going to call it "60 more years to go"
(Wrecked Tums, Thu 10 Nov 2005, 11:53, Reply)

Free stuff
Short and simple: What's the best thing you've ever got for free?
(thisismyclone, Wed 9 Nov 2005, 16:52, Reply)