My parents weren't racist
I don't think there were any foreigners in the north of Scotland in those days, so it was never an issue, and (with glorious unconscious hypocrisy) racism was held to be more an English thing. Rather, they were suspicious and mistrustful of people from the next village. They spoke funny - almost exactly the same, but with the minutest differences to discomfit you; they had bizarre customs (again, 99.999999999% the same), and they just weren't proper. Childhood bicycle jaunts over there would entail ominous looks and pregnantly-meaningful warnings about "them" - "they're droll ower there."

Those were more innocent days.
(McChinaman banned, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Let's see how this pans out.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 8:48, 65 replies)

Not my grandparents, but my mother.
I am a first generation Filipina born in the US. When I was a senior in high school, my boyfriend was African American and I had a friend who was Caucasian. My mother took ill, was admitted to the hospital and very nearly died. She was quite adamant that my boyfriend was not welcome to visit her in the hospital, but my Caucasian friend was. She made it quite clear that it was because he was African-American. My mom is kinda crazy, crazy . . .
(A_Charmed_1 is searching for the One Ring . . ., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 5:37, 2 replies)

Every story this week is practically identical
So I'm not going to read any of them anymore
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 5:05, 4 replies)

Me old grandad
is from India. Hang on, let me explain. We're Anglo-Indians. When the English came to India they married and had children with the Indians, raised them in rich households with servants, took them to colonial schools where they learned English, English customs, how to be polite and some such. You can imagine how religious my family is. Anyway due to this upbringing my grandad has a bit of a superiority complex over the native Indians. He associates mostly with other Anglo-Indians, and with the whites in his retirement village.
So it comes to no surprise that he's staunchly anti-immigrant, always complaining about the 'boat people' (a rather exaggerated issue here in Australia) and anti-Muslim. Also anti-Asian, especially the Japanese, for he was caught up in a few air raids as a child in the war. He's just been getting worse and worse lately. Amazingly no racial epithets (except for calling an Asian driver 'Mrs Wong' etc), but the way he speaks makes even the word 'Muslim' seem like an insult. There was a period where he'd point out every one he saw. Granny used to tell him off but has since given up.
And the racism's passed on to his son, who has now married an equally as racist Queenslander.

I'm not racist though, I like everyone.
Except for those goddamn kikes.
(Avnas dosh!, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 3:53, 3 replies)

My grandfather (mayherestinpeace)
once hung up on a call center after 5 minutes of frustrated talking with a cry of "You're a bloody foreigner, aren't you!?"

He was talking to someone in scotland.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 2:00, 3 replies)

Look, Is Turbonegro racist or not?
because I quite like them, but they are not to my grandparent's taste at all.

I really don't know where I am going with this.
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Sat 29 Oct 2011, 1:40, Reply)

My grandfather's grandfather ...
... owned about a dozen Negroes.
(uncle_bud is not the jelly roll king., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 1:39, 4 replies)

Grandma
is 4ft 10. Within an hour and a half of seeing her for the first time in over a year, It was "....and I dont like Japanese, and I dont like Chinese...
with Chinamen, you cant trust their eyes. You dont know what theyre thinking. And I dont buy fruit off Indians. Except for bananas, because
you take the skins off. And why the hell do they charge for bananas by weight, you throw half of it away!

Later...

"And as for that Michael Jackson, he was negro... sure. But he didnt need all that bloody plastic surgery! He wasnt that bad a lookin' fella!"
( Bling Blong Bling Blong, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 1:28, Reply)

I'm quite racist
but also far too gutless to state my own opinions, even anonymously on the internet.

Can anyone suggest a way I could disguise my views as an anecdote about someone else?
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 1:00, 4 replies)

Not grandparents
At least, not my grandparents, but a couple who ran a B&B I stayed in somewhere near Slough.

They seemed very pleased when a nice, respectable, reasonably dressed, well spoken young chap turned up at the door, and we were chatting for a little while, passing the usual pleasantries whilst going through the usual formalities of keys, breakfast time and so forth.

The lady suddenly said to me, "Oh, it's so good that you came here rather than going to a bed and breakfast in Slough!", to which I chuckled slightly before she carried on, "You could have been eating curry for breakfast!"

I paused for just long enough to register my disgust at the casual racism and responded, "I quite like curry for breakfast sometimes.", probably (hopefully) dispelling all her first impressions of me. I'm sure she burned my toast the next morning on purpose.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 0:06, 10 replies)

Why Black People Can Run Fast
My daughter has taken up athletics and one of her friends is a young black boy who is very fast. At her first athletics meet last year she was watching him run with her nan.

He won the race which then prompted nan to tell my daughter that the reason he can run so fast is because they are used to running away from the lions in the jungle!
(choby, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 23:48, 5 replies)

Chinese
We were all at my nans house and we'd decided to get a take away between us. My great grandma pulled her face at the idea and started mumbling under her breath.
Anyway my dad nipped out to pick up the take away and when he got back he handed my great grandma a plate of chips. She sat and stared at them pulling her face before
she handed the plate back to my dad, saying:
"I don't want any of them bloody Chinese potatoes!"
(FootOfTim, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 23:40, 3 replies)

Its my 21st
and surprisingly my friends seem to be mingling qutie easily with my family. This particularly true of my uber-polite half-Jamaican friend Andy, who is chatting amibiably to my quite blind Grandmother for a good portion of the evening. Later on, whilst I'm chatting to Andy, Grandma approaches and completely oblivious to his presence informs me that "That Andy fella is alright for a darkie eh?".
( Sheriff John Bunnell https://twitter.com/thewonderfulgam, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 23:19, Reply)

Grandma.
I've mentioned her before quite a few times in here. She was quite a strong character- got her MD in 1925, worked for Eleanor Roosevelt, did medical research in Africa and all that. And she never shied away from expressing her opinions. If she didn't like you, you knew it. I heard her mutter a hatred of "darkies" a few times.

Apparently she drove a red Aston convertible and was very fond of putting it through its paces. She would find herself sitting at a light next to some macho type in his big sedan with a huge engine who would sneer at her in her little car as he gunned the engine. They would always end up gaping and coughing in the wake of her dust.

She loved her red car, and really hated the guys in the black sedans.

And that was my race-ish Grandma.

(Yeah, I got nothin' this week. Sorry.)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 28 Oct 2011, 23:16, Reply)

My grandparents hate the polish,
it just never makes things shiny enough.
(grumblestiltskin didn't do anything useful on, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 22:59, Reply)

I blame the Daily Mail
First post, and thus the standard request for gentleness.


A visit to my Granny's is always a bit of a trial; it's not that we don't love her, it's just that her perspective on the world is influenced heavily by two things - Sky News and the Daily Mail. Alarmingly, these two institutions seem to have enhanced the natural racism that come with old age - she is really, very, very anti-immigration.

Of course, when she starts her standard spiel about immigration and how it is ruining the country, my family and I can never stop laughing. She's an immigrant herself, half-german, half-polish, fleeing here after the second world war, and speaks in the thickest german accent you've ever heard. The irony, sadly is lost on her.
(grumblestiltskin didn't do anything useful on, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 22:54, 1 reply)

I can't believe the amount of blatant ageism here.
What did all those poor old folk do to you guys to deserve all these horrendous stories about their racist faux-pas? Not to mention all the stereotypes based on how all oldies are just xenophobes who don't like anyone other than members of their own race.
These are people who built our world into what it is today, from the ground up. And all b3ta can do is lampoon their simplicity borne of more innocent times? For shame.
Rise up oldies and smash those machines that you got all the wops and nignogs to build for you!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 28 Oct 2011, 21:57, 3 replies)

I
used to have a Honda Accord with ginger supermodel niggers in it, with which I disproved Fermat's last theorem, invented the flux capacitor, and discovered the theory of b3ta = who cunting cares.

And I kill pubic lice.

Reasonable rates.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 21:56, Reply)

Racist?
No, like me, my grandparents hated everyone, YOU'RE ALL CUNTS!




Except you, and your community of lap-dancing shoelaces.

Fucking aglets.

Bastards.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 21:48, Reply)

Why is this back? What did i miss?
(DubstepBetty Down wiv der kids since 1972, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 21:25, 1 reply)

Well it's always been a touchy subject in the family
But you know you get those Aunts who are not actually Aunts? probably not, but in the olden days if a young girl was to have an illegitimate child then usually what would happen is the Mother of the girl would raise the child as their own, and the real Mother would magically become the aunt, anyway, explanation out of the way...

I recently found out my Aunt was actually my Mother, how surprised was i?! i wanted to get to the bottom of all this and find out of my Dad was actually my Dad, it turns out that my Mom was raped by her Grandad, my Great Grandad, well obviously you can now see the family shame, damn those Rapist Grandparents
(serge, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 20:30, 2 replies)

Nan.
Likes: the Nips, the Kikes, post 1945 Hun.
Hates: Paddies, Pakis, Jocks
Edit- I'm not going to lie, Most English people. I'm not au fait on her thoughts of the Welsh.
(Glucose-Maximus All over the world., Fri 28 Oct 2011, 20:14, 7 replies)

horrifying story by my great-grandpa
My drunken great-grandpa told my sister and me this "bedtime story" when we were little kids, and it is so racist and WEIRD that I am amazed to this day that he told it to a couple of girls younger than 5 years old. Here goes: there was a little boy lying in bed in the dark, and he heard a scary voice in the other room saying over and over again, "I'm gonna get you...I'm gonna get you... and when I get you, I'm gonna EAT you!" Night after night, the little boy lay awake, terrified. Till one night, he got the courage to climb out of bed and creep into the bathroom. There he found a big ol' n-gger sitting on the toilet, looking between his legs at the shit coming out of his ass.... saying... "I'm gonna get you... I'm gonna get you... and when I get you, I'm gonna EAT you!"
(WorksInDUMBO, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 20:14, 4 replies)

My Other Grandad
My English grandad has a particular dislike for Muslims and Islam. He always tells the most inappropriate joke to everyone he meets even in the middle of a large crowd: 'If God wanted people to hide their hair he'd have made them bald' and then can't stop laughing for a good 5 minutes....
(52486 office lolled on, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 20:07, 5 replies)

My Grandad's Friend's Dog
My grandad is quite racist but his friend is worse. They are both Irish and have a strong sense of pride of their native country (despite both living in England). Anywhom this friend had a dog (some sort of retriever) called Packie after an Irish footballer called Packie Bonner and used to walk around where ever it was that he lived shouting 'Packie! Come 'ere Packie' at the top of his voice. Needless to say he got into a few confrontations yet refused to change the name.
(52486 office lolled on, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 20:04, 1 reply)

Despite the following story,
My grandmother is one of the loveliest people around and hasn't got a bad bone in her body. She worked as a district nurse and made it her life's work to help every single person she met, regardless of race, religion, or lifestyle.
That's not to say she doesn't have a few opinions that are indicative of her era.
My cousin is skinny as a rake and so the juxtaposition of his new girlfriend, a rather large black girl made for a humorous looking couple. My grandma was always pleasant to her, invited her round for Christmas and generally made her feel as welcome as anyone else. However it was clear that she had some apprehension about the relationship, as is not uncommon for someone her age.
I finally managed to discuss the reasons behind this with her and was both saddened and cheered in equal measure by her response.
It transpired that while she herself had no qualms about race, she believed that any children they had would have been prejudiced against due to the colour of their skin, and didn't want any of her descendants to be victimised.
Obviously my first reaction to this was one of complete shock but I then realised that I was only shocked because, to me and, it seems, to my generation, race has never been an issue. I have since I was young known people of all races and never batted an eyelid. I know racism still exists but the fact that when asked about the issue, every black friend I had said that they had never experienced racism either showed me that hopefully my Grandma's worries are dying out.

I'm well aware that racism is still an issue. Proper, hateful prejudice is still around. However, the only form I've ever seen is playful banter amongst friends where no offence could ever be taken. Don't tell me that jokes about stereotypes should be banned. I fully accept that being white, straight and male I will never be able to dance.

Apologies for lack of laughs.
(Voodoo-Child16 Pissed in their Champagne on, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 19:50, Reply)

Im sure she just "mis-spoke"!
My mum was,and is, a bit on the racist side. I can always remember her going into a furniture shop in East London, that even 30 odd years ago was predominently of the "forrin" persuasion, and asking the assistant if they had a 3 piece suite in "nigger brown"! No prizes for guessing of what racial persuasion said assistant was, who took it remarkably well all things considered...she wasnt chased out of the shop, to my amazement.
She did apologise admittedly, it was just the casual way she came out with it.
(k655a, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 19:16, 5 replies)

I had posted a story...
about my racist Uncle Roy then scrolled down and read Ring Of Fire's answer. It wasn't a jokey one, it was a jaw-dropped at his evil bigotry one. But I get RoF's point. So I've deleted it.
( Sallyrsm, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 19:14, 7 replies)

Hope springs eternal
I had two very different grandmothers. One of them adopted a child, my aunt, who was mixed-race / dual heritage / whatever white/Afro-Caribbean, the other was an ardent Tory slightly to the right of Enoch Powell.

The older I got, the more I found the right-wing grandmother's view of the world abhorrent. She and my grandfather had friends in South Africa, this in the 70s / 80s, and of course shared their views about the Blacks having come down from the trees. Lovely to hear when my aunt (who was only 3 years older than me) was one of those 'savages'.

However, one day, I realised that Tory gran's view of the world was gradually changing. She had been on holiday to Mexico, where a lot of the fellow-tourists came from the US of A. "We met this wonderful family on holiday who were American" she said, "their children were so well behaved, we told them, if you ever come to the UK, you must look us up. He's Chief of the Fire department apparently - and look, he's sent us a photo of himself in uniform".

And she proudly showed me a photo of said Merkin, who as you can probably guess, was black.

Finally, after years of arguments and strife, there was a moment where I could be proud of her.

It's easy to forgive racism on grounds of ignorance and lack of exposure to different cultures - it was great to see that once that exposure was gained, she could change her viewpoint; if not entirely, at least at that moment she could judge someone on who they were, not what colour their skin was.

Apologies for mushiness.
(TheImmortalJenkins, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 18:32, 5 replies)