Guess I should've seen it coming
Whilst browsing on eBay and having a bit of a smoke I came across a "Mystery Box". It was only £2.50 so I thought it might at least give me a giggle when getting the post. I won the auction.

Funnily enough nothing ever turned up and I had to pursue it via Paypal. I left the seller negative feedback and she in turn accused me of trying to flog her kiddie porn pictures. After a great deal of aggro I eventually managed to get eBay to remove all her feedback and give me money back.

Only mystery was why I was so stupid!
(Wide, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 13:34, Reply)

Amazon...
This is my first time posting here, so please be nice! I have a 'ripped off' story for you, but rather than telling a story about me getting ripped off (for example, by former landlords, or flatmates, or every month by the bank), I shall tell you a story of how I ripped off Amazon, and hope that no-one else has posted a similar story...

A few years ago, Amazon had an offer where if you recommended a friend to use Amazon, you got a free £5 voucher, as did your friend. 'Hmmm...' I thought, 'that's something that needs investigating', so I set up an new hotmail e-mail address, got two £5 vouchers, and got two free CD singles. Result! Except my thirst for was not quenched, so I tried it again, and again, and again...

For the next 4-5 months I got free CDs and videos almost every day of the week, sometimes getting half a dozen freebies a day. All through this I thought, 'surely someone would notice', without thinking about what would happen if they did!

One day, they did. I got a snotty e-mail saying I should either pay up or never use Amazon again. Considering that if I decided to pay up, I would need to find around £700 (!), I haven't used Amazon since. Of course I know now that I got off extremely likely.

Shortly after this they stopped their refer-a-friend scheme.
(hit me with your jesus stick, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 13:10, Reply)

Britney Spear's hair
Anyone seen the bids on eBay, for what is *allegedly* Britney Spear's hair?

Worryingly, there is someone that gullible out there to bid on it. Like, who f*ck*ng cares? Talk about "There's one born every minute" !!

Personally, I don't...I can't stand those identikit, talentless, all style and no content "artists" conjured up by those corporate fat cat record label bosses.

/end rant
(Panteneman Isn't entirely sure why he bothered on, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 11:58, Reply)

Brocky ripped off Legless
by putting 'cheers' at the end of his story!
I'M GOING TO TELL!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 11:32, Reply)

Poo
I have just had an email off of a friend telling me about the fact that he was "wrestling with the biggest shit in his life". it turns out it wasn't that impressive and i feel ripped off about the fact that he lied and cheated me into the fact that it was impressive and anal rippingly big. But it wasn't.

Length and girth not that impressive I'm sorry to say but it was oh so satisfying.
(iamyounotme I'm a window licking retard, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 11:29, Reply)

Branflakes
Hilarious.

Well done
(Danny Fishcharge Half arsed, smart arsed, on & off a lard arse sinc, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 11:20, Reply)

i sold my friend
50 cigarettes lighters for a fiver what i didn't tell him was the 50 cigarette lighters was a box of match's he wasn't to amused. however i thought it was hilarious needless to say i gave him his money back so technically he didn't get ripped off.
(branflakes, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 10:54, Reply)

Overtime
I'm not usually allowed to claim my overtime, but on this one occaision I was.
It was £114 of overtime added to my salary. How much tax did I pay in this month £120 MORE than I usually pay. Basically, for those of you that are mathmactically challenged, I was now £6 worse off for doing overtime.

I'm sorry that this is boring for you and that its not a witty story in any way.
( turb0t, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 10:46, Reply)

I ripped off British Gas
Last September was seriously short of pennies and with the expectation of our new baby landing at Xmas, decided a 2nd job was needed. Filled in the application forms for Centrica (they do all the British Gas call centre stuff) and was accepted there.

After the first week, I realised it wasn't going to work. Finishing my normal day job at 5.00pm to then have to work there from 6.00 until 10.00pm was killing me.

I would have just walked straight away, if it wasn't for the fact that the first 4 weeks are all training.

I knew that I would never need the training as I had no intention of working there, so managed to bypass their proxy system and spent 4 hours each night surfing the net getting paid (albeit not very much) for it.

When it came to the end of the training, I simply told them that it wasn't for me and thanks for the last 4 weeks.

Cheers
(brocky, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 10:27, Reply)

Lefty,
I used to work in WHS and I caught someone trying this scam! Ha ha!
( Mr Gear the gay-maker, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 10:20, Reply)

whsmiths
heard of a scam once of people buying a book from smiths.

getting the reciept - going back into the store, picking the same book of the shelf and returning it!! clever eh?
(lefty212, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 10:18, Reply)

STAR WARS CUNT
I was young. I had a lot of starwars toys, AT-ATs, snowspeeders, about 30 stormtroopers, every luke skywalker etc. - all in all, a shitload of starwars toys. All originals. None in their boxes mind you.

So I go away on this trip and this lad tells me he's a starwars collector and he's got a genuine jawa costume and stuff. Being young, I was taken in and believed him when he said he was well versed in the prices of the toys.

Cunt said all of mine weren't worth much because they weren't in the boxes. And offered me a tenner for the lot. Being young, I accepted.

HE FUCKING RIPPED OFF A 10 YEAR OLD KID!

As you might have guessed, eighteen years later and I'm still slightly peeved about this.
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 9:23, Reply)

Taping music off the radio..
.. when I was a nipper, I was asked if I would like a recorder for one birthday. Great methinks, I can tape music, copy cassettes etc.

I was not happy when I got the recorder - yeah the one you blow through and make annoying toot toot sounds...
( Signify, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 8:56, Reply)

The Tea Bar in Shoreditch
Free entry, late night bar, dj - excellent, thought I.

Four shots with mixers in little plastic cups - £25.00.

Hmm.
( Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 8:38, Reply)

Ryanair
Budget airlines? Pfttt....

.99p flight from Newquay to Stanstead, including "taxes" turns out to be £36.99. Get this, it includes £3.60 wheelchair tax at Stanstead.

I got my own back by editing the emergency cards to read "unzip trousers and remove erect penis" before the "place head between legs" bit.

I also found acting disabled and requesting to be pushed in a wheelchair through security and boarded first to be most satisfying. Best £3.60 I have ever spent.
(Mong The Merciless Older not wiser, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 8:36, Reply)

I once bought a car in the East End.
Never buy a car in the East End.

That is all.
(><(((">, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 6:58, Reply)

More transport advice
If you ever hire a car and they supply it with a tank full of fuel on the basis that you have to return it in that state then go to the nearest garage, fill it up, get a receipt and then mention this when you take it back. My dad has 9 times out of 10 managed to get between 5 and 15 quids worth of petrol or diesel into a supposedly full car.

It's all vehicles with me isn't it? No wonder they think I'm such a spanner.
(tinypod will never learn. Ever., Mon 19 Feb 2007, 6:48, Reply)

More scams from my friends...
A friend of mine run a genius scam for many years. He would go onto Ebay, search for faulty electrical equipment, and buy up faulty versions of DVD players etc. for rock bottom prices. Usually a few quid each. Then, he would go to a place like Comet or Currys and buy the very same item for real. The next phase of the scam was to switch the faulty one for the working one, and then return the dodgy one for a full refund. He then would sell the good one on Ebay, and turn a decent profit.

Now that's some top class scammage. He also would buy from me the receipts for any electrical equipment I'd purchase. He'd then steal a version and return it with my receipt for the cash refund.
( MarkyH feels like the H in Bob Hoskins' name, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 3:38, Reply)

When i was at secondary school, about 15 years ago
my mate said he could get me a bootleg copy of "The Lawnmower Man" when it'd only just come out in the cinema!, I nearly came in my pants!

So i started negotiations with my elder brother, to try and persuade him to let me use 'his' VHS casette (which he used to religiously record various late night heavy metal programs)... he finally agreed on the promise of seeing "wicked graphics!" (whoa!... SKILL!)

Imagine my annoyance, and terror, when i got the tape back and found out it actually contained a 2 hour hardcore porno featuring La Cicciolina!

In my naive, pubescent mind, i thought my brother would be pissed off at not being able to see said "wicked graphics!" and would "tell on me" - so i gave the tape to another friend who recorded over it with Young Guns 2 off of Sky Movies.

And imagine my brothers annoyance, and terror, when i told him the truth years later, at the fact that he could've had his very own tape of hardcore grot if it wasn't for my innocent silly fuckin stupid miscalculation.

We were both ripped off big time... and for 2 glorious days, so were my pants!
(A Hospital Carpark, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 2:41, Reply)

i once brought a TV card during my first year at uni
happy i was with my purchase - until i discovered that the bloody thing didnt work. So off i go back to the shop asking for a replacement. After arguing with the owner for a good 1/2 an hour - i managed to get another card...of course it didnt work.

Back i go again - he wouldnt give me a refund - he wouldnt give me another card - i eventually got a CD Rom - worth a hell of a lot less than the card....it worked...yay...it broke within 2 days....!

I wrote to him....he wrote back saying how he did want me and my ilk in his shop...funny really as it was the student population that kept him going...

sadly - he went bust soon after! R B Computers , Albert Road, Portsmouth!! rip off - yep!!
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 2:19, Reply)

Playstation One
Years ago when I was a nipper, venturing to the town centre alone to browse the shops was a frightening thing. Everything was so big - I was around the age that it was still possible to get lost in Tesco, and you couldn't cross until the green man was displayed instead of the red one.

I had been quite ill if I recall and as a treat for being such a good lad, my father took me into town to go and look at all the latest gadgets and electronic paraphernalia there was at the time - big TV's, casette players, landline telephones and such like. My Dad liked keeping up with technology, and so did I. CD's might have been available back then, I honestly don't recall. But if they were, looking at a CD Player was pretty groundbreaking for me.

Right, back to the story! We popped into the local Electronic Boutique store because I'd been telling my Dad how my friend had a Nintendo 64 and another had a Playstation and they were both really really cool. Being so naive and probably simple minded I had not twigged to the events forthcoming. He asked which I preferred, and I gazed at the display console boxes on the top shelf (this was a full 'tilt the head back as far as possible and step backwards' affair) before settling on the Playstation because I liked the games better. One phone call later (to clear it with my mother) and I had a shiny new Playstation, memory card and a couple of games.

This is where I begin to feel a little ripped off. You see, years later I discovered Mario RPG on the N64, Banjo Kazooe and the likes. Bags more fun than the Playstation. I was probably 14/15 by now. But I loved my playstation. I felt I had made the right choice (which I blatently did). Thing is, I ended up purchasing an N64 with Mario RPG and a rumble pack for fifty something quid. When it clearly wasn't worth it. Needless to say I was a little mad. I then didn't play the N64 as much as I hoped, which is typical of me really. Get the itch for something new, purchase it and then stop using it or lose interest in it after a few months.

The N64 was then stored under my bed all kept tidily in Tesco carrier bags. Few years later I decide it's time to get the N64 out for a bit of retro gaming. The sodding bags had only gone and disintergrated on me. Noone told me they were biodegradable! The mess under my bed (well, in a drawer under my bed) was astouding. It still is as I refuse to tidy it all up. Talk about ripped off, I smuggled those carrier bags away from my mother's watchful eye and for what?!
(mannitol, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 0:55, Reply)

Eelectricity . . . .
I've got one of those card meter things in my flat which mean I'm probably paying off the electricity debts of any fucker who even so much as looked at my flat.
(garrison, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 0:39, Reply)

Valve
Went to see the Valve soundsystem in sheffield last year, payed about £14 and it was worth every penny. My housemate decided he would come, but ended up paying £20 to a tout.

First off, he doesn't even like "drugs and bass" as he calls it. He then decides after an hour that only plebs cue to piss, so goes outside to utilise a bush. He didn't get let back in. Probably the most pointless £20 he's ever spent.

On a side note, Valve is the loudest sound system in Britain, if not Europe. It will forever remain a mystery how my other housemate ended up getting removed from the club for repeatedly falling asleep right next to the speakers.

+ thanks SPR, didn't realise signing in gave me that option; now I need never see the word 'apeloverage' again, except when people hand on your sound advice. I'm also blocking anyone who says anything along the lines of 'and that's why you should click I like this,' don't be such a beg.
(Daveh, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 0:38, Reply)

£7.45 for a cinema ticket.
Hot Fuzz at an Odeon.
It was a cracking film, but please, that's almost the price of a DVD..
(moik, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 0:17, Reply)

Regarding Apeloverage
"Ignore" is your friend. Use it wisely. I have. :)
( Fathter Puddytat Kill Kill dat widdle boid is mine on, Mon 19 Feb 2007, 0:13, Reply)

Wonder Bra
They should be illegal.

I nearly cried.

She went from volumptuous busty vixen to prepubescent flatness.

It just wasnt fair.
( SpankyHanky, Sun 18 Feb 2007, 23:20, Reply)

Muffins
My place of work happens to sell delicious looking muffins and cakes filled with jams and whipped creams topped with snow and spinkled with heaven. They make me drool so I bought the best looking chocolate ones I could find on the shelf.

What they don't tell you is that the jam is made of horses sick and the actual muffin tastes of carboard. Two quid for a bland muffin flavoured with bile. Yay.
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Sun 18 Feb 2007, 22:50, Reply)

I had some quite expensive gates made.
They were lovely, and I was very pleased, so when the bloke who made them asked if I was getting rid of my trailer I was soft enough to promise it to him.

But then, he flatly refused to take the old wooden gates away, as I'd expected.

I was not pleased as they would be hard for me to get rid of - they were each 7' high and 3'6" wide.

Then I remembered the sledgehammer in the shed. It took me about an hour to smash them to bits, pile them in the car, drop them off at the tip and return for a brew.

In the meantime, Gate Man had been getting an earbashing off Mrs Gate Man, as I was obviously not parting with the trailer now.

Not sure who got ripped off here, but my new gates are nice.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sun 18 Feb 2007, 22:08, Reply)

I needed a pee
Okay, so I needed a pee. I may have needed a poo, but I can't recall - all I remember is the pain in the old bladder.

We were doing a whirlwind tour of the Northumberland coast, and had arrived in Bamburgh.

It cost me 10 squid to get me and the missus in the castle. So I could micturate.

I should have just pissed in a bottle.
(Give me the cheese you cocksucker No board sig in protest., Sun 18 Feb 2007, 21:59, Reply)

it turned out that he wasn't really an artist,

but he was right about having the biggest cock I'd ever seen.


(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 18 Feb 2007, 21:53, Reply)