Women,
Semen contains 15 calories. Around 133 blowjobs a day will make sure you meet your daily calorie intake.
If you're on a diet just give less blowjobs.
No need to buy food and you'll meet new friends.

Gentlemen thank me later.
( Mr Nerdy-Speccy-FuckNuts Ouchy ouchy wa wa!, Sun 13 Nov 2011, 6:23, 12 replies)

Why so sexist?
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Sun 13 Nov 2011, 7:45, closed)

It's called 'male bonding'.
and you better get on board.
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Sun 13 Nov 2011, 8:00, closed)

I gobble down Haliborange, to ensure that my semen is nutririonally complete.
And orange flavoured.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 13 Nov 2011, 7:53, closed)

That's fucking revolting.
It's "fewer" blowjobs.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Sun 13 Nov 2011, 10:14, closed)

pffft

( finnbar has officially retired, Sun 13 Nov 2011, 14:23, closed)

I don't think I would want six a day, that would ruin the surprise and leave your old fella a bit chafed.
(badgermonkey007, Sun 13 Nov 2011, 11:53, closed)

Haha! You still believe your missus is only giving YOU the noggin!
Hahaha.
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 3:36, closed)

This is so wrong!
The average volume of ejaculate is around 5ml.
For it to be 15 calories, it would need to be about 60% fat.
It's more nutritionally similar to egg-white - so about 2.5 calories for 5ml.

This takes the required intake up to almost Japanese levels.

About one a minute for 12 hours.

There is however a sensible alternative.
www.deagostini.com.au/ilovehorses/

Only 8 or so a day should do it.
(speedevil, Sun 13 Nov 2011, 13:52, closed)

I don't think you've really got the hang
of the horselink, have you?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 14:09, closed)

You're missing an important point.
If she's on a diet, she can spit.
(username failed moderation, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 9:35, closed)

It's vitally important that we tell all women* this fact:
The average load of semen contains less calories than it takes to give a blowjob. So the more cock you suck, the thinner you'll get! Yes, suck yourself thin - and have a happier husband/boyfriend too!

* or men, according to personal preference. This is a gender-neutral, gay-friendly post!
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 12:10, closed)

Men
Fanny Batter is full of vitamin C, vitamin D, Antioxidants, Omega 6,7,8 9 an 10 plus Boswelox

Get your head down on your partner's minge a few time a day and you'll save a fortune on expensive shop bought supplements.

Plus all that exercising your neck muscles and biceps as you come up for air will result in a a finely toned upper body that might stop you getting beat up when you're out with your mates talking shite
( cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:01, closed)