I have never, never laughed so hard
I was walking home from shop when I saw my mate cycle past. I shouted and he looked round to see who it was. However, whilst he was doing that, a car just ahead of him had stopped at a crossing. My mate, who was going a fair speed hit the back of the car and his bike stopped dead. He didn't however, and the momentum carried him over the handlebars and onto the roof of the car. He would've most likely glided right over the car to land on the road at the other side if the car aerial hadn't snagged on his jogging bottoms, which caused him to slide out of them.

Now, the occupants of the car had spun round to see what the bang was and then turned back around in time to watch my mate slide down the windscreen minus his trousers with his bare genitals pressed against the glass and being stretched out, doing a fine impression of Deirdre's neck (from Coronation Street), finally coming to a halt, face first, with his chin resting on the car bonnet in a very awkward upside down position.

He thrashed about a bit trying to get down, and resigned to pulling his legs out of his trousers completely, whereby he rolled rather gracelessly off the side of the car bonnet and onto the pavement. He picked himself up and in front of a small crowd, stretched up to retrieve his jogging bottoms from the top of the car, giving him the opportunity to press his bollocks against the passenger-side window this time.

I laughed so much I started getting a bit light-headed and had to sit down, and for the next three days my sides ached as if I'd been beaten up.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 15:56, 31 replies)

that. is. amazing
I hope it's true with all my heart
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 15:59, closed)

I understand what you're saying,
but to be honest I'm not bothered either way.
(TheColonel, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 16:52, closed)

Me either
I officelol'ed so hard I officecried.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 11:12, closed)

Absolutely superb...
That gets my click for the tears now rolling down my cheeks as I struggle to contain the office lol.
( snee held his breath since, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 16:02, closed)

it conjures up
such a powerful mental image. genius *click*
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 16:04, closed)

Fuck me that's funny XD
Office lol right there!
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 16:07, closed)

Haha *clicky*
Picturing it is brilliant, got a stitch from laughing. :D
(harrumph, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 16:08, closed)

Oh, what a great story
and well-written too.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 16:12, closed)

When I build a time machine
This is what I want to see!
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 16:17, closed)

Please be true.
bit of a coffee dribble over that one.
(Alphabet Soap boshboshboshbosh, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 16:21, closed)

crying uncontrollably
something about the phrase "giving him the opportunity to press his bollocks against the passenger side window" has just totally got me.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 16:26, closed)

If I was the passenger of that car
I would've wound the window down, just to see if it made a squeaking sound.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 16:32, closed)

Strangely
This just made me laugh even harder than the actual post...
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 0:39, closed)

^This
HARD.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:18, closed)

That is the funniest thing I have ever heard
However, you now owe me:

A face full of make-up
A pair of dry trousers
A spleen

Thank you.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 17 Dec 2009, 16:31, closed)

Winner.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 16:42, closed)

Seconded

(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 11:49, closed)

If this is true...
...you my friend have witnessed the funniest thing ever! :)
( Evil Bastardo, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 16:48, closed)

Click
This has to win!
(nonstopdancer, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 17:14, closed)

Classic!!!
And I would've hated to be the valet who had to clean the fucker afterwards.
( SpankyHanky, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 17:18, closed)

I'm So GLAD...
I'm reading this at home. I've been laugh non-stop! Very, very well told!
(ab1kenobe, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 17:59, closed)

i'm sat in the barbers
laughing my tits off at this. Cheers, click.
(Kip, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 18:26, closed)

Winner!
Absolutely amazing - I would give almost anything to have seen that (for comedy value you understand, I don't have a thing for male genitalia pressed against glass ... although maybe I do, never tried it)
(Penguins_Made_Me_Do_It is a dolt ... and she don't care, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 20:50, closed)

i had to stop half way and dry my eyes from the tears of laughter!
*clicky
(Brain Licker Follow me, I'm right behind you., Thu 17 Dec 2009, 23:48, closed)

This to win
Absolutely fantastic that.
(Helmut McBucket invites you to pull his finger on, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 2:30, closed)

A classic QOTW
Succinct, visual, understated and fucking hilarious.

I could acutally see it in slow-motion!!

Merry Xmas
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 11:01, closed)

LOL
Getting strange looks in the office from people wondering why I'm crying like a loon!!!
(Biscuit Boy - aka - mcvpjd3, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 11:17, closed)

Deirdre's neck
Epic simile = *click*
( TheMagicDwarf is back like ballroom dancing, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 11:34, closed)

Bwahahahaha
Excellent :D
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 14:15, closed)

oh god
I'm supposed to be revising my thesis and I've weed myself from holding in the laughter so my old man won't know I'm reading b3ta instead of writing.

The second ball-squishing just frosts my cupcake!
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Sun 20 Dec 2009, 8:05, closed)