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This is a question Schadenfreude

There's nothing like administering first aid to cyclist who has just spanged into the back of a milk float when you have tears of laughter running down your face. The world is just one long episode of You've Been Framed - when have you laughed at the misfortune of others?

Suggested by althechristmasgeordie

(, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 12:05)
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If theres one thing that winds me up its people using mobile phones whilst driving.
I was waiting at a bus stop near my place of work at the end of the road, near a roundabout. A woman drove past, going about 10mph, window down, on her mobile. I shouted "Get off you phone idiot!" for it angered me so. She turned her head to face me and shouted "Mind your own fucking business!" before driving in to the back of the car in front which had now stopped at the roundabout. I laughed. He got out and wasn't fucking happy. I laughed. As she sat with a very shocked look on her face she said right in front of the guy "I've just had a crash I'm going to have to call you back" The guy called the police. I laughed and my bus arrived, I left the scene still chuckling.
(, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 13:44, 25 replies)
I often wish I could shout at people who use the phone while driving
I'm pleased that you had an excellent experience of it
(, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 13:50, closed)
I'm told that having an illuminated sign in your back window
saying "Get off the phone" or "Stop tailgating me" or whatever is actually illegal. Most annoying.

Particularly since I've got one of those 2x20 character LED scrolling text sign thingies in the cellar...
(, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:10, closed)
I've often wanted to hook one of these up. Apparently it's down for impersonating a police officer, though I highly doubt they'd be displaying the kinds of things I'd like to say to some of the people that have been following me.
(, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 17:17, closed)
To really rub it in
you should have given your name as a witness.
(, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:12, closed)
Its one of those things I thought about after the event and kicked myself for not doing.

(, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:13, closed)
Shame someone else had to get involved in it, but certainly serves them right. My personal belief is that if you can afford to run a car (petrol, tax, insurance etc) then you can afford to at least get a cheap bluetooth phone with a cheap headset. If not, pull the fuck over when you get a chance - is it that bloody important that you need to take the call THERE AND THEN?

(Yes, it annoys me too)
(, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:14, closed)
My personal belief
...is that you shouldn't hold conversations with people who aren't in the car with you at all. I've seen some horrific "driving" perpetrated by people whose attention is clearly on the really-very-important things they're talking about and not on safely controlling their vehicle.
(, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:36, closed)
Many is the time I've seen some knobend with their left hand clamped to the right side of their face, while trying and failing to steer their enormously expensive cockwagon down the Queen's highway.
My personal favourite is the wanker who cut me up on a roundabout because said phoning-hand obscured his vision to the right. I only hope he wrapped himself around a tree shortly afterwards.
(, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 15:05, closed)
What I found chilling was when I saw a van driver on a roundabout with the phone against his right ear, steering with his left hand, let go of the steering wheel completely to change gear.
(, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 11:25, closed)
I've been in a car when someone did this.
I was not impressed. he was steering with his knees. Twat.
(, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 12:14, closed)
When working at Magistrates' Court a while ago I saw loads of people fined and having licences endorsed for this.
Apart from the danger, it's financial madness. You get a fine and points, so you're paying out for years to come on your insurance.

There's no defence, either. If the police see you even holding a phone they'll do you. No amount of phone bills you can produce in court will convince the Mags that you weren't talking on it - it might not have been your phone, and anyway you could've been answering a call and not making one.

You don't even need to be driving. If you pull over but don't switch the engine off, you're still liable.

I even heard a taxi driver protest, quite plausibly I thought, that he was reaching over to a satnav in the dark and it just looked like a phone, but he was still fined.

I heard lots of excuses, but never saw a single driver found not guilty. All were hammered.

So there's a little crumb of comfort, eh.
(, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 15:08, closed)
"You don't even need to be driving. If you pull over but don't switch the engine off, you're still liable."

Is that really true? I'd heard someone say it, but thought it was bollocks.

Bloody hell, that's a bit shite... If I ever get someone try to phone me when I'm on my way home from work and I pull into a side street, I don't always turn the engine off.

Edit: Well, I will now, obviously.
(, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 15:40, closed)
Yup, it's true.
Much like many of this particular regime's things-which-are-illegal-anyway-but-we-want-to-make-more-money-from-fines laws.
While I agree that driving whilst using a phone should be classed as "without due care and attention" I actually applaud people who do it* -- since they are just as safe, according to our government, as someone pulled up at the side of the road to make or take a call.
*I don't really, but I feel a certain ambivalence at times.
(, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 17:58, closed)
Except for Jimmy Carr of course
(, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 11:20, closed)
My first week in Sydney, a driver on his mobile jumped a red light and almost ran me over
I thought at the time "Oh, so it's not illegal in Australia". Turns out it is illegal, the man was just an arsehole.
(, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 15:18, closed)
An american friend of mine msn messaged me from her phone
she told me she was driving. When I later told her how stupid it was to message me whilst driving her excuse which she though was perfectly fine......."Its only been illegal here a few months"
(, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 16:17, closed)
This is one of my pet hates too!
Have a click!

I have a bluetooth and headset, but only use it to receive calls as I find any conversation distracting when driving.
(, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 16:36, closed)
I honestly
cackled out loud when I read this. I can't stand dickheads who have a phone stuck to their ear when they're in the motor - no excuses.

un click.
(, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 17:00, closed)
I have a long drive back to the Midlands on Wednesday night
I'll be turning my phone off. I used to leave it on in case of emergencies, but no matter how many times I've fucking told them not to, my mom or my sister will ALWAYS call me halfway through the journey - "Just wondering where you are, dear."


Christ, it makes my fucking blood boil.
(, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 17:03, closed)
Glad I'm not the only one.
I drive back up north to Lancashire from the West Mids via the M6 quite regularly. Every time I do my mum will say "send me a text when you're nearly here" and she'll also ring to see where I am. It makes me shudder that at the age of 30 she still tells me to be careful when I go out drinking but she's happy for me to send texts and recieve calls on my mob whilst I'm doing 70 on the M6.
(, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 14:04, closed)
I love Mike Luckovich's cartoon on this topic...

I think the opinions on this vary if you only drive or if you're a regular cyclist or pedestrian. If you're encased in 1.5 tonnes of steel, people don't tend to see the harm, but if you're totally unprotected, distracted drivers send shivers down the spine.

I'm a cyclist - fine/jail them all.
(, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 2:11, closed)
I don't think you should fine or jail them ALL
I mean, some cyclists actually obey the law, and don't jump red lights, ignore pedestrian crossings, etc. etc.

Just fine or jail the ones breaking the fundamental basics of road safety. Also some law that allows members of the public to punch arrogant cyclists in the face or genitals should be arranged.
(, Fri 25 Dec 2009, 22:59, closed)
keeping this off the main thread for obvious reason
As a bobby in this old country, i've had several experiences with people on mobiles whilst driving. It is my pet hate, along with children in cars with no seatbelt.

Anyhoo, a little pea. Out on patrol one day, sat at the front of a queue at traffic lights, i see a guy on his phone come to a halt directly infront of me as he's turning right. I can't really justify doing a u-turn to stop him as i was on the way to a higher priority job, so decided to give him a little shock.

I turned my siren and lights on for about 2 seconds, at which point he sees me just as he's setting off, panics and drops his phone - out of his open window! It smashed on the floor and most likely driven over several times.

It may not have been professional, but i laughed all the way to my next job.
(, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 9:08, closed)
Oh beautiful schadenfreude there
and one hopes it was a very expensive phone too, with all his numbers on it, both home and important work contacts.
(, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 9:29, closed)
I had a job where I drove around a lot
and the office bods were always ringing me knowing that I was driving.

I wouldn't answer even though it wasn't an offence back then because I *knew* I'd crash, and the office used to get stroppy about it. Didn't bother me - I wasn't going to be bullied. Tossers.
(, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 9:41, closed)

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