(groans, head in hands.)
I largely have faith in b3tans as a more-than-averagely enlightened bunch, so this probably isn’t directed at you lot. Certainly not all of you lot. But a lot of what I’ve heard on this subject of in my still relatively-few years on this planet has been variations on the following:

You're a woman. Some women like babies. Therefore, you like babies.
You're a woman. Some women are gold-diggers. Therefore, you are a gold-digger.
You're a woman. Some women are over-emotional and irrational. Therefore, you are over-emotional and irrational.

This is what’s known in the trade as fuzzy logic.

I try and take people as individuals. I don’t (and nor, probably, do you) judge folk on their skin colour, their religion, their nationality or who they prefer to shag.

I don’t think or say things like ‘all X (gays, Spanish, Sikhs, black people) are like Y and Z.’ It would, I hope, very quickly be pointed out that this was both stupid and unfair, for you can’t possibly make a blanket statement about an enormous and massively diverse set of people with any semblance of accuracy. That, my friends, is bad science.

Yet somehow, it’s seems it OK to do this when it comes to gender. Why assume I have anything in common with another human being because we have matching genitalia? It’s boring, it’s offensive, and it doesn’t make sense.

I’m not saying men don’t get equally idiotic and patronising comments thrown back at them. They do. But it feels like women suffer much more from this kind of collective-designationing than the chaps. Those women on hen nights, doing that ‘here come the girls’ crap? Yep, they're a fucking embarrassment, but I know that for every moronic female wearing a pink plastic cowboy hat and screaming about penises, there’s another in a white coat patching someone up in a hospital, defending people in court, flying a plane, teaching in a university, bringing up a family or hell, just sitting on the sofa having a biscuit and minding their own business. Some people, though, even people I love, will point at that as a clear-cut and concrete example of standard universal female behaviour. Well, I’ve got a first-class degree from Oxford, and my best friend is a cardiothoracic surgeon. We didn’t get there by flashing our knickers, so don’t tell me I’m stupid, bitchy, incompetent, shallow, mercenary or irrational on the basis that I’m a woman. (You can do that when you meet me; it’s immediately obvious that I’m an idiot quite independently of anything else.)

I don’t evaluate folk on anything other than your thoughts and opinions and what you’ve done with yourself in this world, and that’s all I ask in return.

Oh, and I can reverse-park just fine.

The End.
(jennymnemonic, Sun 27 Dec 2009, 15:59, 27 replies)

Women
always bloody moaning...
(Med, Sun 27 Dec 2009, 16:13, closed)

First class degree and can't pee standing up!
Put t'kettle on love...
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Sun 27 Dec 2009, 16:21, closed)

I can pee standing up
it's just not particularly well-directed.
I learned this at Glastonbury, as did the shoes of the person next to me.
(jennymnemonic, Sun 27 Dec 2009, 16:36, closed)

Secretly....
neither is mine, hence the love of peeing in the shower.
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Sun 27 Dec 2009, 16:48, closed)

It's not fuzzy logic,
that's a well defined technical term that means something else entirely.

What your examples are is fuckwit non-logic as spouted by morons.
( Fronds are waving gently on, Sun 27 Dec 2009, 16:54, closed)

Balls.
Yeah, you're right. I meant a false syllogism. Sorry
(jennymnemonic, Sun 27 Dec 2009, 17:20, closed)

Hurray!
I couldn't remember the word, it's one I always forget. Like analepsis.
( Fronds are waving gently on, Sun 27 Dec 2009, 22:05, closed)

Correct
although we also would have accepted non sequitur or simply a logical fallacy
( chart cat has an itch, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 10:57, closed)

logical phallusy?
smart prick
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 17:50, closed)

Bravo
+1 point
( chart cat has an itch, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 11:07, closed)

I like this and agree, but...
Having a degree/studying for one is not really grounds for stating you are not of the screaming fuckwit variety (as the generally accepted student/young person stereotype will tell you). Indeed, a considerable amount of my colleagues in 3rd year physics are of that variety, and one does wonder how the fuck that came to be (I apply this to BOTH genders, by the way.)

But, you're right of course, you can't blanket judge entire groups on the basis of minority action. But, what do I know, I'm just a young wasting tax-dodger who doesn't know he's born...

And you seem very pleasent anyway, so all the best to you.
(Anachronist misplaced in time since, Sun 27 Dec 2009, 17:55, closed)

Awwww bless

( Peej, Sun 27 Dec 2009, 19:43, closed)

you come across as somewhat bitter...
and I didn't say anything about you, you seem very nice.

I expect there will be bitterness on both sides before the week is out.
( TheFinch is getting to grips with the complex plane on, Sun 27 Dec 2009, 21:57, closed)

Intellectually, you can run rings round me...
...as proven by your Oxford 1st (I only have an HND in Production Engineering, and a CIM Certificate in Marketing) and your ability to reverse park (I am shite) and your command of the English language (my belief in my ability far outweighs my practical ability to express).

But within a mixed sex population chosen at random, your ownership of the the feminine pudendum does unfortunately increase the statistical likelihood of you
a) liking babies
b) being a gold digger
c) being over emotional and irrational
compared to any other individual who has the more external male issue genitalia.

That is a basic marketing/advertising fundamental; and advertisers don't spend the stupid amounts of money they do without being certain of their ground.

I'm not saying 'Live with it', but let's say you could cut those that make unfortunate assumptions a little slack.
(Colonel Blink is now officially a pretentious prick, Sun 27 Dec 2009, 23:56, closed)

Marketers/advertisers, you mean?

( gingerfreak Why? Why not., Tue 29 Dec 2009, 19:34, closed)

So if you're really an exception to the first claim...
...then you'll have no trouble EXTERMINATING THIS BABY!

*baby swoops an screeches*

Ahh futurama :)

What were we talking about?
( Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Mon 28 Dec 2009, 1:30, closed)

calm down love
theres probably still time
(omnishambles ™ has been fucking things up big style since, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 2:34, closed)

you personally, can take individuals as you see them, but as a society we do judge by gender
I have actually experienced a degree of this and the associated political correctness gone mad:-
I have been a registered nurse for many years (traditionally seen as a "female profession")
I was a single father, going through the court system - I did have to remind them continually, that although I was a "male bastard", I had custody of and was raising 4 girls.
Basically, accept that this shit happens and move on - it will just fuck your head trying to fight it.
(wallynothere rnot without protection, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 9:13, closed)

All women love
riding high horses. The saddles rub their cloppers into a froth.
( chart cat has an itch, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 10:49, closed)

Dear B3ta overlords
Could we get a 'What utter crap' option to go with 'I like this'?
(louveciennes , Volvospotter, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 19:21, closed)

It's satire love
To be expected though, all women have no sense of humour
( chart cat has an itch, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 11:06, closed)

... and yet 50% of b3tans will read this as (paraphrasing Larson)
' ...zz zzzz zzzzzzzz genitalia? zzz zzzzzz...'
(Ted Cunterblast, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 6:33, closed)

oh my
i'd say sexism in women seems to have come from a complete misunderstanding of the word 'equality'. girl power is not equality, it's idiotic. sexism in men probably comes from trauma, or having a tiny cock, or too many communal baths leading to fear of failure or the unknown.

i myself hate everyone equally
kthx bye
( valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 14:17, closed)

Entering a reply
as it seems to be a popular thing to do.

And.... breath.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 14:16, closed)

Generalisation
What you're talking about is generalisation not fuzzy logic and it is a perfectly valid, if sometimes risky, approach to decision-making.

While you're correct that it is wrong to assume that because one particular woman has a certain attribute therefore all women must have that attribute, I have to take exception to your examples. Most women do like babies and do want one of their own (so do a slightly smaller proportion of men). Most women will tend to give more weight to their feelings when making a decision (same as most men will make incredibly bad decisions based solely on pride), and I've never heard anyone blanket-label all women as gold-diggers, but the need for security when choosing a partner is as ingrained in the female psyche as the desire to motorboat is in the male.

I've always tried to treat everyone as an individual, but the older I get the more I rely on past experience when I am forced to make snap judgements, and I believe it's this mechanism that leads to the sort of "received wisdom" you rail against. As much as I try to keep an open mind, no woman I've ever dated (even the ones I'm still friends with and love dearly) has done anything to shake my increasingly firm conviction that you're all a bunch of nutjobs.


I do love tits though
( pixel_fucker is going to need a bigger brush, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 16:36, closed)

well written and most likely true but you have to take a lot of these comments with a large pinch of salt.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 11:42, closed)

"I largely have faith in b3tans as a more-than-averagely enlightened bunch"
Your faith is misplaced - this lot could give the National Front lessons in how to be impotently bitter and narrow-minded.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:13, closed)