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As a regular service to our readers, we've been re-opening old questions.
Once again, we want to hear your stories of shit, poo and number twos. Go on - be filthier than last time.
( , Thu 27 Mar 2008, 14:57)
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OK, then: how did you discover b3ta? For me, it was that the creationism challenge was linked through Butterfliesandwheels.com. Anyone else?
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 15:59, 49 replies)
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introduced me one day, I started reading the old QOTW and was instantly hooked.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:00, closed)
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I was sent here by a dream I had. A dream of a better place where people where not judged by their race, creed or ability to bloody punctuate.
Believe it or not I was diverted here by the spiderman will make you gay animation that someone has posted on a silly ebay sale.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:01, closed)
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That, or just Interweb stumbling.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:03, closed)
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This old bloke in a dirty mac accosted me in a park.
"Do you want to see something really dirty?" He growled.
"OK." Said I.
He opened his mac and gave me the view which has redefined my online habits.
VISIT
WWW.B3TA.COM
YOU KNOW IT
MAKES SENSE
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:04, closed)
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I was e-mailed a link to the sick jokes QOTW. I lurked for a while and then BAM! Team QOTW proved too irresistible to me.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:04, closed)
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to Buffy's swearing keyboard.
Ever since I heard it gone "MIIIINGE!" I've been a b3ta fan.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:04, closed)
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a phd students phorum, where we were discussing ways to avoid work. which is why I've taken 3 and a half years to complete, rather than 3...
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:06, closed)
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after following several links related to Bukkake.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:07, closed)
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Took me 4 years to actually bloody register though.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:08, closed)
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Three and a half? Stop showing off...
No: wait. It was about the same for me, too. Plus a bit for corrections after the viva.
(God: I love PhD exams - the way they tell you what you got wrong and how to fix it...)
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:09, closed)
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to the "If Adverts told the truth" competition about 5 years ago. I lurked for a couple of years after that.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:09, closed)
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I would love to have that many monkeys. You could have so much fun with that many monkeys. Infinite monkeys would be even better than infinite kittens.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:10, closed)
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That CHCB treats her monkeys well. She gives them a frequent spanking...
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:11, closed)
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it was through rathergood.com. I was reading the FAQ, and the reply to "I've done some good stuff, can I submit it here?" was "no, this is for my stuff only, but go to b3ta.com and the lovely people there will let you post anything".
So, I went to b3ta, saw the word "tubgirl", googled it, and realised that finally I'd found a bunch of people who'd laugh at swearing and poo as much as me. The rest is history!
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:11, closed)
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@enzyme
mine is next wednesday, and i'm meant to be going through my thesis (NOT faeces, although probably just as informative) and revising. so i'm on b3ta. grr!
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:11, closed)
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.. that it was though "Rathergood..com" or "Albinoblacksheep.com"
Can't quite remeber though. seems a long time agon now.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:11, closed)
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I was thinking about that, because it would cost you an infinite amount to feed them. But if they were cannibalistic, they could eat each other, and the food supply would therefore be infinite too.
Result!
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:12, closed)
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Started off in qotw, and then ended up on /talk, with the occasional foray onto /board. /Links is full of strange people.
Oh, also through www.theinternetisseriousbusiness.com
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:15, closed)
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Now I'm scared of the idea of an infinite number of cannibalistic monkeys suddenly going mad and turning on their master.
Does CHCB only spank her monkeys on Wednesdays?
In which case, how do you make a monkey naked for Thursday?
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:15, closed)
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I tried to revise for mine, but failed utterly to predict the questions. Add to that an examiner whose questions were things like, "How do you defend the argument you make between pages 197 and 213?" (Me: "Um... I dunno. Which argument is that, then?")
Few bits of advice:
1) Take in a bottle of water. If you're thrown a question you didn't expect, have a swig to buy a few seconds thinking time.
2) EITHER concede every third point. That makes the examiners feel smart.
3) OR concede as many small points as you want, but stick to the big ones.
4) Enjoy it. The examiners want you to pass - otherwise they'd just have referred you. You're the centre of attention, and this is your bid to demonstrate that you're the world expert on whatever-it-is. It'll be fun. Honest.
Oh, yeah. And good luck!
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:15, closed)
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I'd like to think an infinite amount of monkeys would come up with some decent QOTWs
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:17, closed)
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and found it after 4lpha.
ha ha - hee hee - a diddly dee
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:17, closed)
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Not really funny looking back at it. Was in work at the time.....
....like I am now...
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:18, closed)
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I was crapping myself about my PhD viva, but an hour into it I was really enjoying myself, as the realisation hit me that I knew more about my particular area of research than anyone else.
I actually asked the examiner some questions too, because by this time it had turned into a proper discussion.
Be prepared though, and know your references.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:19, closed)
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possessing, as I do, absolutely no photoshopping skills whatsoever. Plus I find the main boards a bit random and also a tad unfriendly for my tastes. Some of the stuff is funny; some of the people posting are not.
QOTW is lovely though. It's like an extended family, mostly.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:19, closed)
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Remember a few years ago, when PriceWaterhouseCooper tried to change their name to "Monday"? Basically, they registered the domain name introducingmonday.com, but, as the Ginger Führer's minions discovered, they hadn't registered .co.uk. Private Eye ran a short article on this, and I felt I simply had to investigate, as the infantile nature of the humour it described was right up my alley (snigger).
So yes, Ian Hislop's organ pointed me to b3ta.
Then I forgot about it for a couple of years, until Bearded Whumpus started sending me links to various qotw answers. I thank you, Mr Whumpus.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:21, closed)
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B-b-b-b-birmingham, it's busting mate, and the Spiderman 'I'm not gay' clip, found the message board and was hooked!
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:22, closed)
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I think I would prefer a lot of the regular QOTW crew to a number of my extended family.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:23, closed)
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Totally agree. QOTW is where I feel most at home. Some main board folks are a tad hostile even at people with the best intentions
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:23, closed)
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I dunno... Some of the pranks they've pulled would be pretty bad.
And they touch you when you're asleep.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:24, closed)
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well you'll be okay then, I however sleep like a log suffering from extreme death. So I would have to invest in alarmed pants.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:25, closed)
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but the FP "Biddifall Alarminator" was my first ever Tea meets Screen moment and sucked me into B3ta 3 years ago now.....
Edit: Monkeon of course :) Still one of the funniest things I've seen....
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:29, closed)
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was linked to another page and I laughed all afternoon.
I forgot about this place for years and one day it popped into my brain whilst bored at work.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:29, closed)
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You could just set some of the infinite monkeys to guard you.
But if they get a taste for your sweet, sweet human flesh...
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:30, closed)
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Well I suppose it is in interweb years.
But from what I can remember it was Rathergood.com.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:31, closed)
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Must have been something linked through W&B all those years ago when it was still funny and not full of adverts..
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:39, closed)
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...mechamatsimpsk and pippyisatruck that ledme into the light of b3ta goodness.
Frankly, I blame them for all the work that I've not done since.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:39, closed)
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They only get arsey at people who don't follow the rather relaxed rules. Picture sizes, reposts, shopped pictures etc are there for the benifit of the board, without people upholding the rules, the place will be awash with Viagra spam, unshopped unfunny pictures which break the internet in their size.
Someone gets flamed if they haven't bothered to read the rules and posts away without caring what people think.
I, do however think that it is far to cliquey now, when i first arrived people were friendly, but none of this chat which seems to exclude many people.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:43, closed)
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Was it was at the time of that 'Stupid Clients' QOTW, it was a long time before I bothered making an account though.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:49, closed)
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and a friend said he knew just the place!
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:52, closed)
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A reader for quite a while, I remember the petty sabotage QOTW. Only bothered signing up recently, because I got sick of thinking "I could write an answer to that... Oh... I won't be registered in time."
Glad I did though.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:53, closed)
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as far as I'm aware, b3ta just is, and has been since my first year of uni, though I suspect it was through Buffy's Swearing Keyboard because I remember laughing at that in sixth form.
I've been here since Singing the Wrong Words and have met many many lovely people.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:57, closed)
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when I found the R button on the Buffy swearing keyboard.
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 17:02, closed)
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Then came on here a while later. Predominately lurked with the odd post here and there on QOTW. /Board is too intimidating :(
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 17:02, closed)
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At least I think it was.
I have a memory similar to... to... an aquatic creature orange in colour?
( , Thu 3 Apr 2008, 17:07, closed)
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