This question is now closed.

nothing youve told her twice already
( , Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:53, Reply)

He wiped his arse.
( , Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:53, Reply)

Q: What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?
A: A rape victim
Q: What's thirteen inches long and makes a woman scream all night?
A: A cot death
( , Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:53, Reply)

Because she had no arms.
( , Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:53, Reply)

His boss asks "How sick are you", To which he replies " well i`m in bed with my sister right now".
( , Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:50, Reply)

So you can pick five up at once.
( , Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:48, Reply)

It's boxing day, and little jimmy and johnny are comparing their christmas presents.
Jimmy: "so what did you get?"
Johnny: "I got a football, and a rugby ball, and a tennis set, and some dvds, and a Playstation 2, and loads of games, and a game boy, and some books, and a remote control car, and a remote control plane, and a little motorbike, that really goes! And I got LOADS of sweets and chocolate, and i got to go to lapland to meet Santa!"
Jimmy:"wow!"
Johnny:"yeah, I know!, so what did you get?"
Jimmy: "I got a football and a selection box"
Johnny:"That's a bit crap, isnt it?"
Jimmy: "Yeah I suppose, but then I'm not the one who's got terminal luekaemia."
( , Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:47, Reply)

Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? The live one at the bottom trying to eat it's way out!
( , Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:47, Reply)

( , Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:46, Reply)

break her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
( , Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:46, Reply)

The rubbish bag outside the cancer clinic.
( , Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:45, Reply)

Ian Huntley giving your daughters a bath.
( , Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:44, Reply)

Watching him break down on the witness stand.
( , Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:40, Reply)

Young lady goes to Doctor with abdominal twinges. He runs the usual gamut of tests, and sit her down.
"Well Miss Green," he says, "I hope you are looking forward to many long sleepless nights, filled with crying and changing dirty nappies."
"Why?" she replies, "Am I pregnant?"
"No - You have bowel cancer"
( , Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:39, Reply)

What's red and knocks on the door?
A baby in a microwave.
( , Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:39, Reply)

"Now class whomever can clap their hands together wins this Cornetto."
The class all attempt to clap their hands to no avail and lots of arm waving this way and that. Until from the back of the class comes the sound "Clap... mmmmmghghhhhgg!"
"Ahah, Jonhny well done here is your cornetto."
to which Johnny promptly stick it in his eye.
( , Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:39, Reply)

"what's that between your legs daddy?"
Dad says: "that's my penis"
"Oh! When will I get one of those between my legs?"
"Just wait half an hour until your mum goes to bingo."
( , Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:38, Reply)

What's red and crawls along the chipshop floor?
An abortion of chips
( , Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:37, Reply)

There's twenty of them.
( , Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:37, Reply)
This question is now closed.