how about this shite
school kid on one of them cop programmes...when caught for knicking a car the copper asked him "where do you live an the kid looked vacant..so the cop explained "you know where is your home" an the kid said "oh...you mean my crib"

then he was handcuffed an the lad said "mind my 'ice'" the little tosser meant his diamond ring...tsk
( Scottyk1, Fri 6 Feb 2004, 9:30, Reply)

"Proactive" - Corporate shitword leaking into outside world
If any one says this word within 10m of your personal space, shoot to kill.
(Ponky, Fri 6 Feb 2004, 9:00, Reply)

BSP = Big, Shiny, Pe... personal enhancement device
I and some friends have been using "BSP" as a contraction of "big, shiny penis" for years now: it first cropped up when discussing buyers of the then-new Dodge Viper and various other overhyped/overblown/overpriced cars (SUV = BSP). It was a simple outgrowth of the phrase, "do you think he's compensating for something?" and has since become a catchall for anything perceived to be purchased simply to show off someone's financial virility to the rest of the world.
( Felis Concolor, Fri 6 Feb 2004, 8:57, Reply)

gotta good'un
Bitchfuck, thats always a good one....or pussybitch, cock monkey, boojankie, and my personal favorite, Raging Rectum Raider-or Butt Pumpin' Semen Demon- always fun
(Boy From the County Hell, Fri 6 Feb 2004, 8:56, Reply)

Not so much slang
More of an insult. When someone calls you a fat bastard, reply saying that it was all the cookies their mum fed you after sex.

If their mates are around, even better.

P.s. I aint a fat bastard. More large. Muscle of course.
(masterbassist, Fri 6 Feb 2004, 8:27, Reply)

New Guy sez
Fucktard

Good, strong word for when you're pissed off at someone.
(sakredfire, Fri 6 Feb 2004, 8:15, Reply)

"Uni-butt"
was my childhood name for the female parts
(retro, Fri 6 Feb 2004, 6:35, Reply)

droughts
there has been no rain for a while. My Dad tells me that its as dry as a nun's cunt.
(worminator, Fri 6 Feb 2004, 6:17, Reply)

Cripple-spot
This from our paraplegic draftsman:
Cripple-spot = disabled parking space
(sad b'stard, Fri 6 Feb 2004, 5:35, Reply)

making a u-turn
instead of saying "pull a u-ie", my friend and i say, "pop an f-ie", not sure where that came from as it doesn't really make much sense when you think about it
(cheecharingo, Fri 6 Feb 2004, 5:24, Reply)

my brother..
My brother always used to use bean-bag to refer to nutsack. And, for some reason, he'd use spoon and spanner as insults, presumably to mean eejit, but i never did find out..
(japetus149, Fri 6 Feb 2004, 2:34, Reply)

Oh! Just remembered one...
Towards the end of my school years the charity shops 'The Spastic Society' Changed its name to 'Scope'... This meant that traditional playground insults such as Spastic/Spaz/Spacka etc fell out of favour and were, brilliantly, replaced by the word 'Scoper'....genius!
(marzatax, Fri 6 Feb 2004, 1:09, Reply)

'Split Arse'
A simple insult to annoying women (drivers). Or gays.
(Marioshi, Fri 6 Feb 2004, 1:09, Reply)

'Eat an apple through a letterbox'
To be used when referring to a girl with particularly large/protuding teeth, as in...

fuck me, look at that! She could eat an apple through a letterbox!
(marzatax, Fri 6 Feb 2004, 0:37, Reply)

Terrible...
Electric Wheel Chairs - Motorized Crip Shifters

Also taken to calling my mates Spongmonkeys.

Ta Joel!
(Skulk, Fri 6 Feb 2004, 0:05, Reply)

Hmm
We had strange language at school.

example.

oub = minge
oub bob = to use your tongue on the minge *see oral sex*

"bint" is also a fav when describing the old. (OT i quoted a bloke who lived on badgers road today yay!)
(gingerolm, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 23:05, Reply)

Winter Rat
I leaned this phrase when I came to live in central NY state. It refers to a second car kept in reserve fir winter driving. It is most often a 'beater' car used to drive when the road has a lot of salt residue and accidents are more frequent. They make you nice shiny SUV last a few seasons longer!
( Whiffert Support the Free Balogna Movement!, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 23:04, Reply)

Racism
I have recently developed a really bad habit of refering to people of different races using a sterotypical first name plus a bastardized last name that includes a slang term for their race or sterotype.

black = Leroy McSpookereton, etc
hebrew = Gladys Jewschitz, etc
asian = Ling Ling McChinkerton, etc
gay = Joshua Von Fagensburg, etc
latin = Jose McSpickerton, etc


I apparently picked this up and warped it from a couple of Friends episodes.
(GreenLantern954, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 22:55, Reply)

The best I've heard in AGES
For someone with a reputed sexist attitude on women: Contradickhead (Because he says women are no good then gos to fuck them)
Online sexchatters: Webfuckers, screwboats, purple pranksters (Ala ZUG.com's Purple Prank)
(number 27-hunter, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 22:53, Reply)

Slang
I use the most ridicolous insults.

I once called someone a 'Dean Gaffney'
( stereo_world has decided not to eat your photograph., Thu 5 Feb 2004, 22:25, Reply)

looking at someones earlier post
about "hairy muff" reminds me of a fella I used to work with who had a girlfriend who lived in Inverness. We lived and worked about 150 miles north of there.

He mentioned to our boss one day that he'd given up drinking to save his money for the trainfare to go visit this girl every weekend he possibly could. Our bosses considered response:

<pause>

"So... you've give up the alchohol for the hairy-hol?"

It took us about a year before we stopped quoting that one to each other all the time.

Edit: tragic end to the story, now I remember... the same non-drinking bloke eventually wound up stabbing himself in the stomach with a bread-knife in a desperate bid to persuade her not to dump him. Oddly, it didn't work, and he wound up being charged with threatening behaviour. Or something.
(weedom, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 22:24, Reply)

While I'm here
One that does annoy me is "random". One of my Scouts was describing the other day how she was just sitting around randomly. How, exactly, does one sit about randomly???

For fucks sake.
(weedom, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 22:19, Reply)

Rough as a badgers' tadger
I don't know if anyone else uses this, but it's my catchphrase for when I've got a hangover.

I've not actually had first-hand experience of a badgers' tadger, I should clarify, nor anyone elses apart from my own. I just imagine them to be very rough.
(weedom, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 22:17, Reply)

re "gash=bad"
This comes from aviation.
the Gash bag is the trash the is uncontrolled.
it is put in a flame proof bag (the gash bag)

Gash = trash/rubbish/shit

My fav, 2timingfuckingbitchwhore.
But maybe Im just bitter at the moment....
(dean123, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 22:09, Reply)

Metrosexual
If I hear that word one more time, I will destroy.
( Sea Urchin Ceviche, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 21:51, Reply)

My tuppence-worth
Used by my brother: gash = bad

Tuna castanets = a lady's pudenda
Play the tuna flamenco = finger a lady's pudenda (btw the Greeks had the word kleitoriázo for the same thing)

Various sociological groups:
Ladies who lick, the Stoke Newington Tendency = lesbians
Gentlemen who suck = gay men
Ladies who suck, gentemen who lick = heterosexuals

Brown ladies/gentlemen = black people
Pink ladies/gentlemen = white people
Beige ladies/gentlemen = asian people
150s, 150% aunties = beige ladies in elaborate beige lady outfits
Brown lady wigs are cool
Pink lady wigs are not

Special mentions for old words that deserve reviving:
tuppence
quim
quimmy lips
(bnathyuw, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 20:54, Reply)

not slang
But I commonly use 'Turnip' as an insult. Simply meaning retard or the likes.
(Deiwos - Woo I found my old name!, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 20:40, Reply)

Annoying ones
"TP"- stands for "toilet paper", group of friends would refer to homosexuals as "TP".
As with "skittles", "fruit loops", and "butt buddies" ....no clue.

"It was/is all bad"- When something sucks. Like this phrase.
"Like woah" -some stupid flat-chested cuntrag, coined this phrase in a stupid song for something OUTRAGEOUS. Yeah.

A net one: "PWNED"...next person to PWNED me will suffer dire consequences involving a bamboo stick, KY jelly, tabasco sauce and a case of the clap.
(Morgenrot, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 20:39, Reply)

My ex-boyfriend...
used to call toilet roll 'shit rag' to my eternal annoyance.
(Kazza , loathing myself so you don't have to, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 20:00, Reply)

Banditry
Penis Pulling Bum Bandit - the classic.
Funboy - similar to PPBB.
Nob Jockey - same sort of thing.
Phil McKracken and the Lesbian Cockbenders - reference to classic LucasArts game.
Purple Elephant Patrol - gay/lesbian rights march.


For more queer references, why not see the classic book 'GAY SEX' by Irma Bumb Anditeso, Ben Dover & Takki Topar Eerend.

Also, a Pin Monkey is one of those people you see at bowling alleys who perform maintenance on the pin setting machines. Our local monkey has a massive jutting - out, sloping forehead, huge, dragging arms and a beard which you could farm goats in. He looks like a cross between Neanderthal Man and Gandalf.

Thank you and goodnight
(New Lassic; new danger, Thu 5 Feb 2004, 19:07, Reply)