Sportswear cultists...
Are chavs or scallies.

Whilst a crafty butcher takes meat in the back door...

Re-engaging lurking device.
(zerogravitas, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 17:53, Reply)

Two inspired by my ex housemate
Born with a silver hockey stick in your mouth: posh bird, rah rah, and all that.

Liasons strangereuse: when one night stands go bad.
(Lapin, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 17:33, Reply)

rare
like rocking horse shit

very old, am sure but works for me!
(finnbird, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 17:15, Reply)

To Champ 64
Yep got the mouses ear one too. Other ugly knockdowns :- Face like a split pitboot, Face like a rhino licking puke off a car bonnet. A Face like lung cancer. Face like a blind cobblers thumb (Also can describe a knob)
(Mapper, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 17:13, Reply)

Dope
1. (n.) (Slang) Marijuana.
2. (n.) (Slang) A fool, or idiot
3. (adj.) (Slang, American) Cool, hip, etc.
4. (n.) (Slang, Scottish) The beginning or end of a loaf of bread (i.e. the bit you don't use until you've got nothing left because it isn't a proper slice as such)

The last one may just be a peculiarity of my father's family.
(greendwarf, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 17:01, Reply)

...
Currently using:

'Oh Hi!!!' - said in a camp fashion to denote something or someone who is camp. Usually accompanied by a limp wrist action.

Muddy Funster - Mother Fu...
Melon Farmer - see above

A phone related one I got from my younger brother.

To Prank: Verb; the action of ringing a persons phone a couple of times then hanging up. Used to indicate that you are outside or waiting in a predefined place. Use; I'll pick you up in 10 minutes, I'll prank you when I'm outside.

Various lines from Withnail are also dropped into conversation. Not new but...

'Balls!' - used as required

Shouts of 'SCRUBBERS!' from a moving car at overdressed ladies walking to the pub / club.
(multiple holiday forms, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 17:00, Reply)

Yuptae ?
Yuptae = What are you up to ?

good day at work ? Nah they are working me like a japaneses P.O.W.

Was she fit? I wouldn't ride her into battle mate !!!
(ginger weasel - "when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" Gonzo but not forgotten, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:57, Reply)

from Duece Bigalo
MANGINA - male bottom, makes me laff everytime. as in the famour song my Nelly:
"Its getting hot in here,
so take off all your clothes,
i-am-getting-so-hot,
and my mangina's starting to itch..."
(callipygous everytime I kill a hitchhiker, God masturbates, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:56, Reply)

Another one...
To Malfunction (v) - to point out in a perfectly reasonable fashion the unreasonableness of someone else's actions..

Or, more likely given the usual context, to describe (a woman's) nagging. As in, "I went round to hers but she started malfunctioning so I fucked off down the pub".
( Dekazer, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:55, Reply)

beadle...
Courtesy of my flatmate DOM, referring to disability aids with the beadle prefix, eg rails in toilets are beadle-rails, and the handle on a taxi driver's steering wheel is a 'beadle-wheel'
Also used instead of butter-fingers - 'you dropped your pint, fucking beadlehands!'
(jeff-bobbins, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:55, Reply)

the precious
refers to water when we're sitting around smoking. we have a bottle of water which we have to use sparingly because no one can be arsed to move to refill it. therefore it is precioussssssssssssss!
(jeaneye, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:52, Reply)

Not the most exciting thing but...
Thanks to Nottingham accented scallies, and Pitman, it has become the normal thing for a lot of people in Notts to have this conversation rather than say hello:

a) Easy. Y'get meh?
b) You don't even know meh!
a) You don't know meh, but you so want to be meh!
b) y'get meh? Proper.

This can go round for hours until someone gets bored. Needless to say, everyone I've heard use this (me included) is from outside Nottingham, and wouldn't go into St Annes for love nor money...
(Lapin, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:51, Reply)

pikeys
are irish gypsies.. see the film snatch
(jeaneye, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:49, Reply)

Ooo, thought of another one
Just heard it for the first time the other day, not sure if it's really well known but I'm just too sweet and innocent to have heard it before.

Third peanut, refering to a laydeez netherly nobbly bit
( jmptdc Mark the perfect man and behold the upright, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:48, Reply)

more backfiring slang... sort of
my sister's boyfriend is called simon and i usually mispronounce or add letters to his name such as "simonono" it back fired on me once when i called him "semen".. whoops. he then called me "gynie".. just lovely.
(jeaneye, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:47, Reply)

...erly
Appended to directions. The adjectival form of "west" is "westerly", so you might extend this to any other directional instruction and say something like:

"You need to go in a lefterly direction".

Used solely by me and my mates, I believe. Sad.
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:44, Reply)

BMW
Big Mullet & Womb - descriptive of a certain type of ugly, upper/middle class lady that wear trousers up to and over their wombs.

Also not my own but made me laff, GRIPPER - one to stupid to move their hands during onanism.
(callipygous everytime I kill a hitchhiker, God masturbates, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:39, Reply)

Slang
An old favourite which I've been hearing increasingly frequently (partly because I am determined to bring it back) is 'Upton Park' for someone behaving in a peculiar fashion.

As in, "he's Upton Park".

Because it's 2 stops short of Barking (geddit?).

Bit London-centric I realise. For anyone else, Upton Park is a tube station 2 along the district line west of Barking.
( Dekazer, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:39, Reply)

shanksed
to steal something in a cheeky way
*it is imperative that while performing this activity you utter "shankssssed!"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:39, Reply)

Chav, or Chavscum...
... seems to be a popular and humourous substitution for the term 'Pikey', mentioned elsewhere on the thread.
Thanks due to the excellent chavscum.co.uk website for spreading this, presumably Medway-local, colloquialism to the rest of the civilised world, and thus giving us a whole new deogatory handle for Burberry-capped, Nike sweatpant- wearing, Big Mac munching cattle.
Well done, well done!
(doctor sideburns, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:29, Reply)

Trampsan
Pronouced as if addressing a Japanese person called Mr. Tramp, ie Tramp-san.

Term to describe those of Romany stock, as in the song "Gypsies, Tramps and thieves, the people of the town they called them...."

To my knowledge used only my my good wife and myself.
( TheCockwellInn, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:28, Reply)

homage
a type of gay french cheese
(callipygous everytime I kill a hitchhiker, God masturbates, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:27, Reply)

Almost forgot..
..my fav lesbian term

Todger Dodger :)
( Weetobix, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:23, Reply)

Booyah!
Hinky, meaning something gross.

Starla, meaning a woman of questionable character who hangs out in a bar. Ref: Simpsons; Van Houten's divorce.

Foo, meaning gross, again. As in: "THis bathroom smells; foo!"
( Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:21, Reply)

Pebcak
Working in IT, you generally have to talk to some complete sponge of a customer from time to time, who's complaint about your product is entirely their own fault (e.g. Power not on, trying to run your database on a rubberkeyed spectrum, etc).

Thus the phrase 'Pebcak error'

Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard
( Weetobix, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:17, Reply)

Biffage
Not sure if it's already come up.

My brother introduced me to this one, it's descriptive of a group of people (usu. female) whom you consider attractive ('There was lots of biffage on the bus today', 'Show me the biffage'), also an exclamation ('Biffage!').
( jmptdc Mark the perfect man and behold the upright, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:16, Reply)

Live Role Play slang *shame*
pagger/slot/muller/mosh - all words for fighting and killing (pretend fighting and killing)

lammie - source of all power (if you're a LARPer, you'll understand)

theres more but they get a bit specific...


but if your an orc then theres:-

SLAAAAAAAAAAGGG - anyone, term of greeting/insult, whatever
salad - elf
monkey boy - human

worth using normally too if you don't mind insulting people


Edit\ yay for brasseye - "mad like cattle only cattle on bikes" "proof if proof be need be"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:15, Reply)

and
I heard a guy in a belfast bar at the weekend say he was "fucking shipmanned last night" meaning he couldn't even finish a sentence...
(meatatarian!, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:11, Reply)

cocoa shunter
(yet another) derogatory term for a male homosexual, courtesy of Chris Morris/ Brasseye. it's about 10 years old already but still makes me chuckle.
(mrbeans is felching, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:09, Reply)

splat!
Heard a spokesman from Belfast City Airport a few years ago talking about having "A seagull/aeroplane interaction difficulty."
(meatatarian!, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 16:08, Reply)