Lent
I work in a place where religion is high on the agenda.
Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of lent.
No meat is allowed. Even the canteen cannot sell it.
There have been religious ceremonies this morning violating people’s foreheads with ash.
I have just attended a celebratory morning tea for a staff member’s extra year of life.
They bought sausage rolls as a food offering.
Two of the more higher up and deeply religious staff members ate the sausage rolls.
Sausage rolls have meat in them.
That is all.

personally, I ate four of them, being:
a. Not religious and therefore not violated with ash, and
b. They were extremely yummy
And I’ve got chicken for lunch. Mmmmmmmmm
(Monkee girl not a monkee, not a girl, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 2:08, 35 replies)

"violated with ash"?
Do they jab it on so hard, it goes sub-dermal?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 8:43, closed)

what a silly question.
is there any other way to put ash on one's forehead?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 9:02, closed)

I hope not.
Although this does put me in mind of the old, racist, joke about council houses and Indian ladies.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:07, closed)

I don't believe I know it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:40, closed)

If you don't find out I'll gaz it to you.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:26, closed)

Ask your dad.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 15:14, closed)

"I work in a place where religion is high on the agenda."
what, a church?
(Figmaus, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 9:22, closed)

also "Two of the more higher up and deeply religious staff members"
good to see grammar isn't too high on the agenda
(Figmaus, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 9:23, closed)

proof readin the net
see wasiting you're time doesn't matter iether.
(waxdart hello., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:10, closed)

lol
you spelt either wrong

I get paid to proof read the net

well, no, actually i get paid to work, but skiving is much more fun - if a little less productive
(Figmaus, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:19, closed)

I see grasp of
sarcasm isn't high on the agenda.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:47, closed)

I see dwarves
aren't high on the agenda.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 12:01, closed)

I have no agenda

(Figmaus, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 18:56, closed)

Are you a bit thick or something?
/topical
( Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 15:30, closed)

It's called colloquialism
Deal with it, fucktard.
( Ungersven would support SpankyHanky's patreon, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 12:40, closed)

Do you work in a mosque?

(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:13, closed)

a mosque that celebrates Christian dates and rituals?

( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:12, closed)

Do you work in a synagogue?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:50, closed)

a synagogue that celebrates Christian dates and rituals?

( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:12, closed)

Do you work in a stone circle?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:23, closed)

a stone circle that celebrates...oh wait, never mind

( snee held his breath since, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:13, closed)

Do
You work for Opus Dei?
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:27, closed)

an Opus Dei that celebrates Christian dates and... oh.
Right. Oops.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:58, closed)

Haha!
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:12, closed)

I suspect the sausage rolls I usually buy
contain less meat then Lynda McCartney's toilet bowl.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:27, closed)

what she said
No meat in sausage rolls, so op's colleagues are perhaps not as stoopid as intimated. Hold on, she works at a church/synagogue/mosque, so...
(mersault, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 12:13, closed)

I gave up eating Linda McCartney sausages when...
...I found out they don't contain any Linda McCartney any more.
(Ross McBingobangobongo bingobangobongo, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:06, closed)

I've given up religion for lent
It's one of life's luxuries I can do without.
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 12:00, closed)

I've given up abstinence for Lent.

( flake has nothing against your right leg, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 12:03, closed)

I've given up.

(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 12:16, closed)

thank you for this wonderful gift of up

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:08, closed)

You're welcome
But now I have a crick in my neck.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 14:07, closed)

pork pies... local speciality
was the way my manager was trying to tempt our Israeli suppliers with some of the more local items on the buffet.

they didn't touch the scotch eggs, the BLTs or the ham and tomato sandwiches that she'd bough from Tesco.

it was about 3 hours later that she facepalmed so loudly that we all looked over our dividers.
(Ross McBingobangobongo bingobangobongo, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:10, closed)

What the fuck?
The place you work is run by a bunch of brain-dead cunts whose idea of being "Christian" is to force their beliefs on the workforce by preventing the cafeteria from selling meat?
I hope they will respect my right to cut thier throats and wank into the holes? After all -- it's my religion so I can't be wrong...
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 18:01, closed)

You work for Cath Ed ....
don't you. I have notified your supervisor by carrier pigeon you naughty little smutling.
(Que?, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 2:27, closed)