Using one of those syringes
that are used to administer Calpol medicine to babies, it's possible to collect all of your semen at the point of ejaculation without any going astray.
This has the added benefit of being able to measure how much came out. However, be careful not to stumble with it in your hand, as you may inadvertantly give yourself a facial.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 5 May 2011, 16:29, 8 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I don't know what that is
So I read it as "spunk in a pyrex jug and you can measure how much man mayo you make".

Surely some careless chap may end up squirting cold spuff on their childs chest?
(Blunt Logic, Thu 5 May 2011, 17:02, Reply)

I thought you were married?
Why aren't you just collecting it in your wife's mouth?
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Sun 8 May 2011, 11:20, Reply)

I putting them in the freezer
and then when I have enough, I'm going to defrost them and we're going to have a bukkake session without all the trouble of having to watch loads of other blokes wanking off.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 9 May 2011, 9:06, Reply)

That's
just too much information.
(GingerIrishTosser isn't dead yet., Mon 9 May 2011, 9:18, Reply)

If you're married the only bukkake session you'll be able to organise
would be if it involves a bucket balanced precariously on top of a door.

With 'hilarious' consequences.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 9 May 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Your aim must be damned good.
Or your cock is about 1cm in diameter as those syringes are damned small.
(GingerIrishTosser isn't dead yet., Mon 9 May 2011, 15:34, Reply)

it's all about timing

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 10 May 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Exactly
It's all about drawing up the plunger at the right moment
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 11 May 2011, 0:25, Reply)