Banknote fun

Step One: Using your preferred method, collect some human spunk.

Step Two: Using a small paint-brush, write the message of your choice, or a simple design on a banknote.

Step Three: After waiting for the 'invisible ink' to dry, put the note back into circulation.

Step Four: Some poor bugger presents the note somewhere where a UV light is used and the message is revealed.

This method could also be used by the more mischievous of you to adorn your friends' clothes before heading for a nightclub that uses UV light.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 11:29, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Or...
Just use a UV pen.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 11:43, Reply)

But...
...where's the fun in that?
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:01, Reply)

Che has a point
combining practical jokes with a wank is win-win.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:52, Reply)

I went through a stage
where I had a UV pen, and I used it to draw a beard and glasses on the Queen and a speech bubble on every character on the back so they were saying expletives. On every single banknote I had until the pen ran out.

Seeing people react to the Queen is one thing, but when they saw Michael Faraday and Charles Dickens saying 'Pissflaps', their face was a picture.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:01, Reply)

Should have guessed...
...you'd been there before me!
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:58, Reply)

ahh but
a UV pen is one thing, but using spunk is a whole different league. When you hand someone a banknote, you get the chance to have a titter and maybe tell them whatever it is that's fluorescing.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 16:56, Reply)

I want a UV pen now.
NOW!
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 14:32, Reply)

you have one
between your legs
( Fitznicely into a thimble, Sat 26 Sep 2009, 4:36, Reply)

When uni gave me a UV pen to mark all my belongings
I spent the next few months writing "FAKE" in big letters across any banknotes I came across.
( SocialRobot, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 10:44, Reply)

This is a
good top tip

I'm wanking as I write this.
( chart cat has an itch, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 13:30, Reply)

The message should simply read
"I wrote this message with my own spunk"
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 15:17, Reply)

How about
"Spunk shows up under UV"

Should give them a couple of moments before the dolly-zoom moment.
( Cadmus has teh uplikn coeds at, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 18:05, Reply)

British spys in WW2
actually used spunk as an invisible ink to smuggle messages across nazi occupied europe.

Fact.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 18:29, Reply)

Lioncash!

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Thu 8 Oct 2009, 18:18, Reply)