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This is a question Top Tips

Got a great tip? Share it with us. You know, stuff like "Prevent sneezing by pressing you index finger firmly between your nose and your upper lip."

(, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 16:33)
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Banknote fun

Step One: Using your preferred method, collect some human spunk.

Step Two: Using a small paint-brush, write the message of your choice, or a simple design on a banknote.

Step Three: After waiting for the 'invisible ink' to dry, put the note back into circulation.

Step Four: Some poor bugger presents the note somewhere where a UV light is used and the message is revealed.

This method could also be used by the more mischievous of you to adorn your friends' clothes before heading for a nightclub that uses UV light.
(, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 11:29, 14 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Just use a UV pen.
(, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 11:43, Reply)
...where's the fun in that?
(, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:01, Reply)
Che has a point
combining practical jokes with a wank is win-win.
(, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 12:52, Reply)
I went through a stage
where I had a UV pen, and I used it to draw a beard and glasses on the Queen and a speech bubble on every character on the back so they were saying expletives. On every single banknote I had until the pen ran out.

Seeing people react to the Queen is one thing, but when they saw Michael Faraday and Charles Dickens saying 'Pissflaps', their face was a picture.
(, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:01, Reply)
Should have guessed...
...you'd been there before me!
(, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:58, Reply)
ahh but
a UV pen is one thing, but using spunk is a whole different league. When you hand someone a banknote, you get the chance to have a titter and maybe tell them whatever it is that's fluorescing.
(, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 16:56, Reply)
I want a UV pen now.
(, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 14:32, Reply)
you have one
between your legs
(, Sat 26 Sep 2009, 4:36, Reply)
When uni gave me a UV pen to mark all my belongings
I spent the next few months writing "FAKE" in big letters across any banknotes I came across.
(, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 10:44, Reply)
This is a
good top tip

I'm wanking as I write this.
(, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 13:30, Reply)
The message should simply read
"I wrote this message with my own spunk"
(, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 15:17, Reply)
How about
"Spunk shows up under UV"

Should give them a couple of moments before the dolly-zoom moment.
(, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 18:05, Reply)
British spys in WW2
actually used spunk as an invisible ink to smuggle messages across nazi occupied europe.

(, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 18:29, Reply)

(, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 18:18, Reply)

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