When it rains it pours
Just told a mate about wanting to buy a laptop for uni and so he gives me his mums one which she don't use, Back of the net!
(luckymcdanger, Tue 19 Sep 2006, 9:51, Reply)

In San Antonio
3 of us head out to San Antonio Bay for some summer action (the highlight of which included me coming back to the hotel "Commando"). We arrive at the Hotel Palmera at about 1pm, and get our luggage taken to the rooms. In the meantime, we're escorted to the outside bar which is literally a walk onto the beach, and has a huge cushion sitting area.

We begin, by immediately getting hammered. This unfortunately comes more naturally to one of our party however, the ever artful Lancey. He gets howling. A good few hours in, we start to explore the seafront, and it's lovely cle-on-tel (or however you fucking spell it, pedant).

We send Lancey to the bar, and a split second later he's vanished. What the fuck? We completely search one bar, nothing. We search every other bar at the front, not a whisper. Oh fuck, 1st night in and kidnap rape stories would be popping up, great stuff.

We head back to the Hotel Palmera; no sign of him in reception, I head up to the room, no sign there either. I head back down to reception, and I can hear someone rather drunkedly shouting;
"I'm looking for Jeccy!!!! Where's Jeccy??"
The receptionist simply says "Keh?" and looks confused. I get there, grab him by his neck and drag him to the room, where I locked him out on the balcony for 3 hours to sober up.

The next morning, we're quizzing him on where the fuck he got to, and he had an "unexpected good fortune" moment (hence this long and odd posting). He'd wondered haplessly drunk into the Hotel Palmera, then asked the receptionist to call a taxi for him. The taxi arrives, and he stumbles in, intent on his destination.
"Hotel Palmera please driver thanks."
The driver goes to drive, then does a double-take and points to the hotel he just walked out of. "Keh?"
"Palmera please." The driver points again, "Keh?"
"Oh thanks" says Lancey, and he gets out and wanders back into reception again. That was a bit of unexpected luck, and no mistake.

For months later, I'd convinced him that it was bad enough finding him in reception, but where the fuck did he get that bag of knickers from? I had murderous trouble trying to get rid of that before anyone found out. He was paranoid for weeks.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 19 Sep 2006, 7:59, Reply)

Luck of the Oirish...
NOT Oirish, but prolly the luckiest bigger alive! Get loadsa luck, just never can tell if it's good or not...
Examples: Crashed my best ever car (3rd party insurance & my fault!), broke my neck, didn't notice(!), healed perfectly & only found out it had been broken by pure chance, weeks later.
Gearbox broke on BMW bike in Hungary, no BMW bike dealers in Hungary (1993), RAC put us up in hotels; 1st one, a crappy commie era concrete heap, just happened to have four gorgeous strippers doing their routine just for us two wonkers in the bar. 2nd one, 5-star spa hotel in 'Pest. Flown home Club Class and they even repatriated the Beemer.
Unloved for years by the fairer sex, several failed r-ships (thank Buddha) only to leave me single and available to meet & marry the most gorgeous woman on the planet, who has just given me a wonderful son.
See wot I mean? Could go on at length, but sadly I'm a bit short right now...
(stygof, Tue 19 Sep 2006, 3:46, Reply)

Christmas was just round the corner
...a few years ago, and I had been working day and night to repay my family. A couple of years prior to that I had suffered a bad accident and my family looked after me, sacrificing many things for me, including foregoing getting presents for each other at Christmas to pay for my treatment.

I was determined to pay them back any way I could, but it was a long time until I was able to work again. But I managed to get a job in a bar at the beginning of November. I worked as many hours as I could, sometimes 72 a week, for terrible pay, but I didn't mind, I'd be able to pay my parents back. Unfortunately I still had lots of debts to pay, but I had worked it out that I would get all debts paid and still have money for their presents.

Now I didn't want to chance it, and such was my desire to repay them I thought I would buy theirs presents early. But on my way to the shops, near a pub, I somehow must have dropped my two fifty pound notes. I didn't realise for a good while, but I went back as soon as I realised and searched for them. I was totally desperate, the area was awful for my wheelchair and I fell out twice while desperately scrabbling about trying to find my £100. I couldn't leave without finding it. Once, when I fell out, I crawled along the cars instead of getting back in, to see if it was underneath any of them. I was there for hours...

Mum and Dad eventually found me, shattered, lying beside my wheelchair, which was now a bit mangled, and I was covered in mud and blood from cuts. My Mum went into shock apparently, and went into hospital, never to come out.

It was the worst day of my life, even beating the day of my injury.

And sometimes I wonder: what happened to those two £50 notes...
(Lannes, Tue 19 Sep 2006, 2:41, Reply)

My first car.
Common to the stereotype of young american teenage boys, I had my first car at the age of 16, and no idea how dangerous driving really can be.

On a routine trip across town, I decided to take a back road, and "open her up" a little. Going through the gears, I topped 90 mph (145 kph). Just as I look up from my speedometer, I notice a station wagon slowly ambling out of a factory parking lot.

Fearing the worst, and lacking experience, I locked up all four brakes on the car. Now I'm sliding, and I'm saying every prayer I can remember from primary school. I see red and blue lights from a white hot-rod in the other lane, I overcorrect to avoid hitting him and I slide out of control into a tree. The trunk (boot) of the car struck the tree, and straightened the slide out. The tree ( a stout pine sapling ) sheared off where the side of my car hit it.

The blue and red lights happened to be an undercover cop who was planning on citing me for speeding. When he saw me narrowly escape smashing him, and other cars, he decided to let me go home with a warning... scared out of my wits. What a nice policeman.

My car was relatively undamaged afterwards. A little sheetmetal work, and the taillight fit again. However, thinking of what might've happened, had I slid into that behemoth of a station wagon... or into that police car. I've not been that lucky since.
(Floz sells fried objects, Tue 19 Sep 2006, 2:32, Reply)

TV quiz show
Went on a TV quiz show many years ago. Failed abjectly to win, but that's not the point (it was 15-To-One anyway, so the grand prize was something like a mouldy old Greek vase).

Was at Manchester Uni at the time, but had posted off the application from the parental home in Burnley during the summer holidays. The letter from the production company said to catch a train to London and go to a particular hotel, and I'd be reimbursed the cost of travel.

Off I go from Manchester on an Apex Saver return, have a jolly old time being on TV, and, at the end of the day, get handed my travel expenses. Without wishing to see receipts or tickets, they gave me the full cost of a return rail fare from Burnley. £120. To pay for a 26 quid cheap return ticket from Manchester and a couple of Tube tickets.

"If that doesn't cover it, come and see us and we'll sort it out"

"No, I think that's fine..."

*pop* Gosh, wasn't it long?
( le brian, Tue 19 Sep 2006, 0:38, Reply)

A Relevant Story (For Once.)
A few years back when I was still a teenager, GTA: Vice City was released on the PS2 in November, I think. As christmas was around the corner and due to the fact I was working my family expected to get presents off me. I really wanted the game, but decided to play the "good son" card and buy pressies.

Fast Forward to 2 weeks before christmas, was walking to a mate's house and for some unknown reason didn't cross the road at my usual spot, prefering to walk past the pub at the bottom of the road from me. Walking at the edge of its car-park I stop and glance down for some unknown reason. €50 staring me in the face. Look around, pick up note, walk on. 5 steps later, stop, look down. Another €50. Note joins its kin in pocket. Get to mate's house and while walking through town with his dogs later buy game in local video store. Still had €40 left over. Went to pub and got locked!
Still one of my favourite evenings EVER!
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 19 Sep 2006, 0:32, Reply)

Quizmania!
Just before Easter last year, I was being a sad insomniac and watcing Quizmania on TV until some silly o’clock hour in the morning. Now they do offer a free online web entry, so being the scaffy git I am, I took them up on this offer and got myself entering via the web. I don’t know if any of you know how it works but basically you enter some details click submit and if you are lucky then a page will pop up saying "call this free phone number bla bla bla" (if not it just says try again), if you do call you get to the point where it says "Lets see if we can put you though the to studio bla bla bla" (if not it just says try again). Anywho, I got through for the fist time, and through to the studio to talk to a rather attractive looking female presenter, said my answer and hay presto I won £700, and how much did it cost me I hear you ask? Not even a single great British penny! I tell you I was chuffed, I just feel sorry for those people who spend stupid amounts and never win a thing. To this day no quiz show and TV has received a single penny from me!

By the way I DID actually get my cheque for £700 as well (I ever have a photocopy of it to prove it) I cashed my cheque with a remark from the nice bank lady pointing out how she never realised people actually won stuff on those programs, I just felt sad that I was watching it in the first place and went off to spend it all in 3 weeks!
(Rt Hon Quargflax, Mon 18 Sep 2006, 22:13, Reply)

cant believe i almost forgot this!
family holiday .. car breaks down in the middle of nowhere in foreign country

man drives past on his way back from being a breakdown serviceman

notices us

is actually english

result?
(ladyintheradiator, Mon 18 Sep 2006, 21:40, Reply)

Spin The Car
The wife was driving and it had just started raining. She braked, and the car started spinning on its bald tires in busy traffic. We spun, and spun, and spun, and when we stopped, traffic everywhere had come to a halt, but no one hit anything and no one was hurt!
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Mon 18 Sep 2006, 21:08, Reply)

I'm not very old so I've not had substantial luck.
Though at one point I kept winning on the teddy tombola. I won the two biggest bears, one is called blueberry and the other rainbow.

Someone noticed my winning streak and gave me a fiver (£1 a go on the tombola) I won them two bears =)

When I was 9 I was searching for coins down the back of our sofa and found a gameboy color. Complete with pokemon yellow.


I'd wondered where that'd gone.
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Mon 18 Sep 2006, 19:12, Reply)

Clark Kent has got some questionable good fortune
by just donning a pair of glasses he becomes a regular idiot in the public eye, instead of the superhero. Lucky he's surrounded by idiots who can't tell the difference.

There again, it could be the same with Stephen Hawking. He looks like an idiot behind glasses too....that just might be some unexpected good fortune for him, adding to the perfect disguise.

I'll never trust a dribbly in glasses again.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 18 Sep 2006, 18:28, Reply)

Oh yes
Recently graduated, unemployed, signed up with a job agency.

The first job I get is to cover 2 weeks for the PA to the head of the city's largest employer.

Now I'm getting personal job talks from the head of HR, the head of Public Relations, glowing references from the big boss and a word in with each of the CEOs/Chairmen/Managing Directors he meets...

Still haven't found a permanent job but what a difference 2 weeks can make eh!
( pidg, Mon 18 Sep 2006, 18:18, Reply)

I owed the Royal Bank of Scotland around £6k
I'd moved house a couple of times and I guess they'd lost track of me. Being a dodgy student type I'd not bothered getting official places to live and just rented people's spare rooms, cash in hand, so I wasn't on the electoral role.

Anyway, I wake up one day to find an envelope with a cheque in it for around £350, with a post it note saying "Please find enclosed a cheque for £350". Thinking it might be some kind of trap (to find out who I banked with/if that really was me) I toddled down the the Money Shop and got it cashed. Quids in!
( CowJam, Mon 18 Sep 2006, 18:16, Reply)

Bazza van der trance
Pushing my luck? Did you not read how gash my summer was? How could I possibly be pushing my luck by considering telling the ex to get lost after putting me through hell all because she jumped the gun ever so slightly?

I would call it pushing my common sense to usage previously unheard of.
(luckymcdanger, Mon 18 Sep 2006, 18:13, Reply)

best luck ever, found a fat ugly bird that actually wanted a bit.
Then had the unbelevable good luck of all of my mates seeing me cop of with her. Then had evan more good luck when they took some pictures so the world could see what my beer goggles make me do. then evan more good fortune when it turned out months later that my new gorgous girlfriend went to school with her and had found out about it. wank
(fwack bang on it, Mon 18 Sep 2006, 18:01, Reply)

15p night out
Was particularly skint one night, and everyone was gearing to go out on the piss. It was the day before payday, and I was unhappy to tell everyone that for another 24 hours my drinking tote was approximately 67 pence.

Fair do's to the lads; never leave a man behind enemy lines. They dragged me into town and all bought me a pint each. This was happily enough to get me a bit legless in itself, but when I tried 50p in a fruit machine and won £25, that cheered me up no end.

Got plastered, big kebab and taxi home, with 52p change ringing in me pocket the next morning.

God bless the lads :D


Also; one night out I decided to call it a night (as I had cab-fare left), and one of the aforementioned lads called Blonde Johnny decided to keep me out a bit longer, as he'd just had his bonus in. He had to get a taxi in my direction so he convinced me to drink me taxi-money and get a cab back with him later.

On the way to the taxi rank Johnny decides to get some munch, and takes us into the local "Donate-A-Kebab", to purchase some sweaty delight. He opts for the King Size, costing about £8 and full of pretty much anything. In my drunken state, I'm looking at this and starting to dribble a bit, so Johnny kindly buys me some chips too. We stumble about 10 yards up the road, then Johnny starts staring at me chips.

"Wanna swopsies? Those chips look great."

"Errr, ok then."

Free King Size Kebab and taxi-ride home, was awesome. I can also remember me not quite being able to finish this monumental meal, so I threw half of it over the local social club windows. Awww bless :D
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 18 Sep 2006, 17:46, Reply)

Amazon again
last christmas they cocked up and sent me two copies of everything i ordered from them. so as to avoid any possible excess charges i alerted them to this situation, they responded thanking me for telling them, and provided a freepost address for me to return them. i fully intended to send them back but was "too busy" for a couple of days, so didn't. i then received two e-mails each announcing that amazon had realised they'd cocked up, each requesting that i send the items back to a different freepost address than the original one, and each containing a £5 gift code, so i basically got £10 of my next order for them messing up twice :)
(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Mon 18 Sep 2006, 17:41, Reply)

Amazon.com Cockup
Wanted a new camera. Found one on Amazon.com

Shiny toy. £50. Bought it. Got it. Nice.

Wanted to show someone at work the spec for new toy. Went on Amazon again - stock had gone from 'lots' to zero in 3 days.

Went back on Amazon today (couple of weeks later) and they have them back in ... for £750!!

Seven hundred squiddle saving. RESULT! No wonder they sold out so quickly.
(Dionysian Aut viam inveniam aut faciam, Mon 18 Sep 2006, 17:33, Reply)

End of last week
I recieved some goods from a fairly well known online shop only to find that they had cocked up my order. My £40 cordless phone had turned into a £100 17" TFT monitor. As they haven't realised their mistake and have only charged me the price of the phone I shall be selling the monitor for a tidy profit. It also turns out I don't need the phone as my flatmate brought one with her when she moved in!
( sudo is bored, Mon 18 Sep 2006, 16:24, Reply)

lucky mcdanger
don't push your luck.

i'd give it a few weeks and if you still feel like lucky mcdanger on a big lucky roll, say something.

Otherwise, leave it mate.

My unexpected good fortune was from a cookie - it says
"Mistakes have been made, others will be blamed."

Bloody true, as i have escaped many many work based trouble without knowingly having to deflect a thing.

Thankyou thai retaurant in Bournemouth. ( i want to call it tik tak thai, but is not that - Thai garden i think)
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Mon 18 Sep 2006, 15:53, Reply)

A Close Shave
I had the unexpected good fortune of having my dad bawl his eyes out to me last night about what a waste his life had been.

Its only lucky because I have the chance to rectify all my fuck ups....wish me luck..

(Luckymcdanger - don't ditch her - you were both coming down - plus I doubt you were particularly appealing unemployed and depressed x)
(MizStinky, Mon 18 Sep 2006, 15:53, Reply)

About bloody time
I've just come through to the other side of the gashest summer imaginable. Been signing on all summer and getting refused for every job imaginable (I even got refused an interview at Pret a manger for fucks sake!)Mrs McDanger and I were not getting on well and when her month long trip to Thailand came up in August I suggest that we should use it as a 'break period'. Fantastic says Lady McDanger and off she goes. A month goes past of me being broke, severely depressed, still not working so feeling about as much use as Michelle McManus in a weight watchers meeting and missing my missy badly.

Fast forward and the ladys been back a week and we go to N Wales where me and some lads are putting on a night followed by a free party in the mountains somewhere. Much fun is had on the friday and many drugs of various classes are taken, come the saturday and no slept has been taken by yours truely. so to stop feeling knackered I take the only route available to me, half a g of MDMA another pill and a tab of acid. About half an hour after swallowing the filth Lady McDanger comes up to me in tears screaming 'Why the fuck are your mates coming up to me saying they thought we had split up?!' I mumble something about not being able to handle such a conversation so could she kindly do one (I think my actual words were 'fuck off I can't handle this now')

Now what I had told them was that we were having a break apart while she was in Thailand, which was funnily enough the truth.

Get back home the sunday night and monday morning finds me awake and feeling like death in a badgers arse, missus turns round and gives it the ol 'I think we should split up'

Fantastic. So now not only am I unemployed and Ladyless I'm also homeless cos her old dear owns the house we lived in. Now the only bright spark in my life at that moment was an access course I had been applying for which would get me into Uni next year. the interview comes up only for me to be told that all the places were taken a month ago (Don't ask me why they continued interviewing, I have no idea) but I can be put on the waiting list if I want to. Whoop-de-sodding-whoo. I say yes might as well and the course administrator puts me in touch with Leeds uni cos they have a new foundation degree course starting up and I may be just in time to apply and get on. Go for my interview when I find out that there are 30 places available and I'm application no 30, so near the knuckle I was someone rang during my interview trying to get on the course.

The outcome? I start my social policy and politics degree a week today and Lady McDanger suddenly thinks we should get back together.

So after 3 months of various people using me as a shit target from various heights it was one hell of an unexpected piece of good fortune! some may say about bloody time, I know I do.

PS Is there anyone else who thinks I should tell her to get bent after being such a dippy, over the top, melodramatic bint who maybe, just maybe should have thought a bit more and asked a few more questions before acting?
(luckymcdanger, Mon 18 Sep 2006, 15:37, Reply)

unexpected good luck
Shagged a whore in Amsterdam, what's the chances of that!
(georgevader, Mon 18 Sep 2006, 15:17, Reply)

Hot Birds Bum...
As I was walking down the stairs for the northern line at waterloo last week I spotted a nice young lady wearing a summery dress, looking hot and stood with her boyfriend examining the tube map.

As I walked down the stairs I thought "wouldn't it be great if her dress rode up to reveal what was underneath..." HUZZAH!!! low and behold the southbound train came in and her dress rode up high enough for me to see her cheeks!

Playing my luck like the skamster that I is, I took a seet on the bottom step of the stairs for a few moments and then the northbound train came along and I was perfectly SEATED and ready to view the spectacle again!

Happy days...
(aroe_m0rre, Mon 18 Sep 2006, 15:00, Reply)

You Could Win A Prize!
You know those lengthy questionaires you get from companies that say you might win a prize if you fill them in, knowing you never will, well my missus was bored at work and had a go, within the week she had a phone call at work telling her she had won an iPod, thinking it would be the cheapest one they had, imagine our delight when a spanking new iPod video 30gb fell through the letterbox! you never can tell can you :P
(Dazzer, Mon 18 Sep 2006, 14:52, Reply)

Dyson Cleaner for £20???
Mrs Coops demanded that we buy a new hoover after I used the old one to clean up a load of nails, screws and bits of plastboard (yes, I could have used my hands to pick them up, but I was in a hurry and had better things to do).

So off we trot to the nearest branch of a well known department store where she decides we simply have to have the most expensive Dyson machine they have in stock. They give us the usual 'buy now, pay later, 0% interest.etc' deal and we happily go on our way.

1 week later we get a letter thanking us for setting up a direct debit.
2 weeks later, we get a letter thanking us for our final payment of £20, account closed, thanks very much.

Turns out someone missed the last digit off the paperwork, hence a brand new Dyson for £20, not £200. I wonder why they went out of business last year?...
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Mon 18 Sep 2006, 14:42, Reply)

Ball tampering...
Went to see England v Pakistan in an one day game (*) at the Rose Bowl last week. We were right at the top of a double tier stand, about as far from the bar as it's possible to be. During the course of the day we had a few beers and got chatting to the two blokes in front. We got the usual "wow, you mean you like sport?" and "my daughter's about your age, she'd never come to a match" spiel, then they offered us a drink. We accepted a couple of beers off them, and carried on chatting. Half an hour later they get up and come back with more beers. This carries on for a couple of hours, until I insist that it's my round (I actually needed a piss, but what the hell). At that moment, one of the guys goes green, gags, and throws up right over the edge of the stand. His mate rolls his eyes, mutters "not again" and escorts him from the ground and we never see him again. Thus saving me three quid a pint for each of them which I could then spend on myself!

Good fortune, indeed. Though less so for the guy walking underneath the stand when the spew shower occured.

(*) That's a cricket match for any Americans reading. And England lost. Meh.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Mon 18 Sep 2006, 14:21, Reply)