The death penalty
deters me from killing you.

Guns should be as hard to get and use as dope.

If you don't have any guns in your home, please post such a notice on your front door.
(Lister, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 4:16, Reply)

What is crazy?
A friend of mine contends that Jeffrey Dahmer was not insane, just very mean.

If true, what is insane?
(Lister, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 3:59, Reply)

Hamsters ...
should be duct-taped so they do not explode when you shag them.

Legal in Leeds.
(Lister, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 3:54, Reply)

A healthy one...
Contrary to earlier reports, stools that float indicate way too much fat in the diet.

Curry pot noodle is universally nasty.

Rimmer is a smeghead.
(Lister, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 3:52, Reply)

Gifted
John Keats was only 26 when he passed away in Italy.
(Lister, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 3:47, Reply)

Smart but weird
Sir Isaac Newton, genius of gravity and inventor of the calculus, proudly died a virgin.
(Lister, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 3:45, Reply)

Asian women's pink bits...
...100% of people on here complaining about posts about Asian womens vaginas allegedly running east-west as opposed to north-south are missing the (very old) joke.
The inference is of course that they are the nicest girls you will ever come across / cum *across*.

Duh...
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 3:40, Reply)

Asda...
...short for ASsociated DAiries.

Not common knowledge. Especially among Asda customers.
(HectorProtector, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 3:16, Reply)

Swans mate for life
We have a black swan widower, he's a little, agressive to the chavs, so we love him.
( Cadmus has teh uplikn coeds at, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 3:07, Reply)

A
duck's quack can't jump but invented the catflap which has a 30 minute orgasm and is an anagram of Hull City who don't have knees which is the longest word you can write with 6 toes. so now you know.


40 odd pages of facts summarised for your viewing ease
( Ryan T Who are the brain police?, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 1:00, Reply)

Another birdy fact.
Seagulls are alot bigger than you first think!
(NoStrings Tastes like zombies!!, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 0:35, Reply)

Fact
There are three league football teams with swear words in their name: Arsenal, Scunthorpe and Fucking Manchester United. Ahaha. True. Google it if you don't believe me.
(donksta, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 0:00, Reply)

useless information
regarding the colour of the sky. if it did reflect the ground then why isnt it Grey and shitty coloured over manchester......Oh it is sorry.
and why can we get these colours in the sky: red orange yellow, indigo and violet (the colours of rainbow but not green(the 4th colour)
(freddred, Mon 21 Mar 2005, 23:59, Reply)

The sky is blue because that is the colour of the sky
Its nothing to do with the sea. The majority of sunlight passes through the particles in the air, but a lot of the shorter visible wavelengths (ie the blue end of the spectrum) are reflected. Thats why the sky is equally as blue in the middle of a continent as it is in the middle of the ocean.

The reddish colours as the sun sets are due to the increasing amount of air the sun's rays have to travel through to reach your eyes. The lower it gets, the more of the blue light is reflected and scattered and so the less blue reaches you. Very little of the red light is scattered, and so thats what you see most of.

Easiest solution: Google 'Why is the sky blue?'
(Neville Squamous, Mon 21 Mar 2005, 23:58, Reply)

Oh Gosh Yes
Forgot to add the fact m'dears.

Did yer know that Stan Laurel only got to America because he was called up at the very last minute to replace an injured act in Fred Carno's Circus?

He was 5 minutes away from accepting a job running a theatre in Sunderland when he was asked.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 21 Mar 2005, 23:47, Reply)

My amazement is boundless
That Arthur Mullard appears to have been the founding father of MFI. Of all the gems I've garnered from B3TA over the years that's the one I'll have recited at my funeral.
Did he do so in conjunction with Hilda Baker, I wonder.
(For the benefit of Johnny Foreigner, Arthur Mullard was a British comedian who made an improbable fortune in the '70's by portraying a fat uneducated oaf. But in an appealling way.)
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 21 Mar 2005, 23:38, Reply)

Boy-Kangaroos have forked penises.
Boy-kangaroos have forked penises, and girl-kangaroos have correspondingly y-shaped vaginas. When they do the wild thing in the wild, each tip of the boy-kangaroo's bidirectional erection goes up one of the branches of the girl-kangaroo's tunnel of love. Technically there's only one ejaculation but it goes (comes?) out two places.

And then there's that other boring stuff that a lot of people already know about the baby kangaroo (called a joey) being born when it's still only a tiny wiggly pink thing and then it crawls into mum's pouch to suckle and continue gestation... but that's nowhere near as interesting as forked penises.
( Purple Martin is board sigless, Mon 21 Mar 2005, 23:16, Reply)

Breast size
When a lady is premenstrual, her breasts can grow by as much as a cup size. Unfortunately, at that point, they're usually too sore to touch.
(ShockerMocker, Mon 21 Mar 2005, 23:10, Reply)

Girl-Bedbugs don't have vaginas.
Girl-bedbugs don't have vaginas, and boy-bedbugs have sharp pointy penises. The boy-bedbug stabs his weapon of love through the underside of the girl-bedbug's shell and then squirts through his hypodermic donger: it's quite literally a hot beef injection. You can tell if a girl-bedbug is a virgin or a slut simply by counting the number of holes that have been poked in her belly.
( Purple Martin is board sigless, Mon 21 Mar 2005, 23:10, Reply)

If you stare at a duck for too long..
..it will bite your crotch, while it's mates steal your wallet.
(NoStrings Tastes like zombies!!, Mon 21 Mar 2005, 23:00, Reply)

Wild Boar
I can remember this from biology at college, it was one of the "Fun Facts" in a book for the course.
Did you know, that a wild boar ejaculates half a litre of semen in one orgasm?

Think of the Bukkake people.
(thegreatrobino, Mon 21 Mar 2005, 22:56, Reply)

Cannabinoids:
The hunger-inducing affect of cannabinoids on the mammalian system (i.e., the munchies) has literary references dating back 2 and a half thousand years (it was either a Greek writing about it in ancient Egypt, or vice versa, or something like that).

It has been shown that there are natural cannabinoids within the brain, that act on the same location as those imbibed through smoking weed, and are endogenous hunger stimulators/initiators.

Cannabinoid antagonists (i.e. drugs made to look like them, but to block the effect) are currently in third stage testing as obesity treatments.
( jme, Mon 21 Mar 2005, 22:40, Reply)

Stroud
The town of Stroud, Gloucesterhire once played host to the two worst nightclubs in britain (as voted by Ministry of Sound Magazine 1999)

We also have the only Major bus station in the UK with an A road running through it

We also have a higher summer pollution level than central London.

And we also have more cars per family than anywhere else in the whole UK!

hurray!
(bazmataz, Mon 21 Mar 2005, 22:36, Reply)

vodka
is made out of potatoes * goes to juice his potato sack* my cousin went to poland to see how its made on a 'work trip' an apprently u get drunk offa the ethanol jus standin in tht place :D
( m-a-t-t -- formerly mini hasn't been on here for EVER!, Mon 21 Mar 2005, 22:16, Reply)

my random fact is that...
....im not actually that short ...anymore ..oh yeah and dogs can look up :P
( m-a-t-t -- formerly mini hasn't been on here for EVER!, Mon 21 Mar 2005, 22:09, Reply)

you probably know this but
the sky is blue (outside of the UK :P) because the colour reflects offa the sea
( m-a-t-t -- formerly mini hasn't been on here for EVER!, Mon 21 Mar 2005, 22:04, Reply)

oh i have another
ONE FOR ALL THE LONDONERS OUT THERE
cockney is actually an insult as cock is obviously cockrel and eyen was the old word for egg so basically there callin you cockeggs apparently they did it because of the southern accent
( m-a-t-t -- formerly mini hasn't been on here for EVER!, Mon 21 Mar 2005, 22:01, Reply)

The cog system on the £2 coin...
doesn`t work. For it to work there needs to be an even number of cogs....the system on the coin has an odd number.

Sure glad I`m not the royal mint right now..
(widdy, Mon 21 Mar 2005, 21:59, Reply)

what a load of crap
the word poppycock actually means soft cow droppings so next time you use it beware
( m-a-t-t -- formerly mini hasn't been on here for EVER!, Mon 21 Mar 2005, 21:59, Reply)

all horses are made from cardboard
using a technique first developed in 1955 by former US president Harry S Truman.
(codeine, Mon 21 Mar 2005, 21:51, Reply)