Since I was about 14 or 15 years old,
there have been two main passions in my life (not counting the tireless pursuit of alcohol and members of the fairer sex who don't make polite excuses before running away), and these have been physics and music.

My specific tastes in both changed - despite being brought up with, and still enjoying, the sounds of The Who, the Beach Boys, The Doors and various others I had, around that time, discovered a lot of more 'contemporary' music which, looking back, was largely shit. But at the same time, I was starting to read a lot of popular science, and finding curious fascination in the oddities of physics. (I dabbled briefly in chemistry but soon thought better of it...) By the time I was 16, maybe 17, I was enthralled by the peculiarities of quantum mechanics and particle physics, and gradually became convinced that I wanted to work at somewhere like CERN.

Simultaneously, my musical 'career' was developing. I had been asked to join very bands back at school, on account of being one of the few kids who took up the bass guitar rather than the normal one. However, most of these never lasted more than one rehearsal before quickly fizzling out into nothing. But shortly after joining a sixth form college, I was invited to join a band which rehearsed fairly regularly and began playing gigs around the local area, to a reasonably warm reception. Nothing quite matched the exhiliration of standing boldly on stage and playing my bass in front of a throng of people.

Physics, on the other hand, I began to have a more mixed relationship with. After the band dispersed and I went to university, suddenly the exciting physics I had read about, and been teased with by my A-level course had been replaced with an incessant grind of mathematics. I began to struggle, and it quickly became apparent that I probably wasn't mathematically-minded enough to become the Higgs boson-chaser I had once dreamed of being.

In the meantime, I kept busy musically, where I could. I joined a jazz band, formed a blues trio and felt my skill and understanding with the bass guitar improve.

In my final year, I took on a project which rekindled my interest in physics. A completely different field from the particle physics that had driven me to this place four years before, but something which stimulated my older and more cynical mind, and which finally gave me the satisfaction that had largely been missing since I'd started the degree. Maybe it was the love of the project. Maybe it was just because I didn't have a clue what to do next. But something made me think I wanted to do a PhD in a related area.

Total cost of building up a career in physics: four years' worth of undergraduate study stumped up by my parents, the student loan company and, ultimately, the taxpayer.
Total cost of becoming a competent bass guitarist: a couple of budget basses, a couple of amps and several sets of strings

And now, three years later, I find myself coming to the end of the PhD. Trouble is, for the last couple of years my average mood has been the same: I hate it. I want out. There seems to be an expectation on the part of several people around me that I will use this qualification to follow the path of an academic career. I intend to finish the PhD (I'm a bit stubborn like that), but I'm starting to have real doubts.about staying in this field.

In parallel, I've been putting myself out a bit more as a bass player, going to jam nights, joining other bands, receiving a lot of positive feedback and, on the whole, really enjoying it. There is a part of my brain which wonders whether it's worth fleeing physics and making a career out of this.

Additional cost (physics): three years' bursary from a research council
Additional cost (music): a few more sets of strings. And I did treat myself to a new bass last week.

Question is...have I been a complete waste of money?

/long and unfunny post is long and unfunny
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 19:03, 21 replies)

you are that bloke off of D:ream that's always banging on about the LHC
AICMFP
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 19:13, closed)

Give it a year or so
after you get the PhD - I felt exactly the same way at the end of my masters but after a break from academia I find myself actually quite fancying a return. Not that you should quit the music either, of course!
(Kendal, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 19:17, closed)

^This^
Once you're Dr. Supreme Crow, take a year out and push your gee-tar duties to the max.

Indulge yourself. Have fun. THEN see how it all looks in 2012...
(Billy The Fish wants to gargle with Lucy Pinder's bath water, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 19:29, closed)

Agreed.
I did ten years of research and for the last three had the same average mood as you (hated it; wanted out). Took a year out. Then another. Realised that I missed it and was fortunate enough to get back in again after such an extended hiatus. Can't imagine ever doing anything else now.
( ThisCaledonianClown has left it far too late, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:41, closed)

yeah, I hated my PhD project too
I went off and did a postdoc in a different field, realised I sucked at that and now I'm doing a postdoc back in the same (but slightly different) field and I'm enjoying it again.

Take some time out, maybe try to do some teaching or something, then decide whether you still hate it.
(xanthine, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 11:05, closed)

If Brian May could have it both ways, so can you
I invite you to remember that the big haired one got his Undergrad degree before Queen, and his PhD after Queen. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_May#As_an_astrophysicist
(MrSnoobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 19:19, closed)

Taking the two most famous examples
I should point out that my name isn't Brian...do you think this will put me at a disadvantage?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 10:57, closed)

What is more important?
The admiration and fellowship of other academics or the hot chicks?
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 19:28, closed)

Are the two groups mutually exclusive?

( ThisCaledonianClown has left it far too late, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:44, closed)

It's not me you need to be asking.
I am neither academic or hot.
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:55, closed)

Well, seeing as I don't seem to have had the former for the last three years
perhaps I should start to focus on the latter!
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 10:51, closed)

Stanley Clark
Made me a lot happier than Mr. Burrows my physics tutor!
(johnners hitting things with hammers until they work, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 19:38, closed)

get out while you can
It's not a waste of money. You should feel priviliged to have had the inner mysteries of science revealed to you. But don't stay on the academic treadmill just cos of peer pressure. It's a sucky career path in many ways, and if you're not highly motivated you should quit. I did, no regrets whatsoever.

Hand in the thesis, and get a stupidly high paying job with a hedge fund for a few years.
(Simian Typewriter Supplies Pty. Ltd. is house hunting in the neighborhood of infinity, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 21:30, closed)

academia is not a treadmill ...
... but it is hard work and the career path is indeed sucky. Presumably hedge funds pay well (they are unlikely to pay worse), but it's rather less than obvious that the job will be more satisfying.
(haberman is singing in the changes, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:26, closed)

^ this
It's not about the money. Obviously I want to be able to pay the rent, but I'm more concerned with finding a job that's satisfying.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 10:52, closed)

In the same boat
I recently slowly and agonisingly dragged myself over the finish line of my PhD with zero motivation for the last year or so. At least you have a second career path planned out. I have no idea what I want to do.
(oball needs Satan more than he needs me, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:03, closed)

I too suffered
along the scenic route to a PhD (chemistry, argh!).
Started it, lost interest and motivation, went out to the real world of work, did really well there until the day my PhD supervisor rang me up and said he was retiring so it was now or never to finish. Sigh. So just like that without even really thinking about it, I decided ON THE SPOT(!) to go back into research and finish the bloody thing. Handed in my notice to my horrified boss and headed back to college.
Well, it's done now and I've passed the viva and got the title.
But I haven't really used it as such, it sits on the CV like a big giant 'she took the scenic route' over-qualification.

At least my parents were happy...
(Mediumsizedbear is trying to be littler., Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:26, closed)

Mr Sensible
Please please please ! Finish your PhD ! It may seem (and ultimately end up being !) pointless. But don't throw it all away. Well qualified bassists get gigs (regardless of qualifications) , bass playing averagely qualified (relatively speaking !) physicists are just averagely paid physicists. Finish the PhD, then forget about physics to concentrate on the music, it's always a handy back up !
Sorry if I sound like your parents.
(Bitter and Twisted, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:55, closed)

Oh, I intend to finish
I've come too far to give up now and I am still reasonably stubborn about it. The main question is what I do afterwards, and even if any daft ideas do prove fruitless, being 'Dr Crow' is, as your rightly say, a handy backup!
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 10:56, closed)

If you can blend a good rhythm with lyrics referencing some obscure science then it's certainly not a waste.

( Christian's Bolt and Ski, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 2:11, closed)

If you get the PhD and are lucky enough to secure an academic post...
...then - eventually after a few year's grind - you'll have a couple of successful grant applications, you'll get your own PhDs to play with and you'll get to study *exactly* what you want to look at (or rather, you'll get your researchers to do that for you).

If this goes well, then others will recognise you for it, your network will build, and it will become easier to do more work in the areas you are interested in.

It's taken me ten years to get to this point (a fair reputation and a tiny team of researchers under me). It's fantastic!

I've got two new PhDs starting next month! I've been reading phdcomics for inspiration on how to abuse them! Awesome.


(You may also find yourself arsing about on b3ta at 3:15 in the morning when you're supposed to be prep'ing your 9am lecture...)
(dxg, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 3:15, closed)