relationships with people who are already in a relationship
right or wrong?

what do you lot think?

I think thats a unanimous WRONG
( prem1um is full of life, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:43, archived)

Wrong
Next
( Hankster, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:44, archived)

^this

( DarkSideOfTheSpoon is 100% back, for now anyway., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:44, archived)

Wrong

( Damion International - now taking orders., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:44, archived)

oh and
I dont like you in that way anyway
( Damion International - now taking orders., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:46, archived)

mostly wrong

( icklepeach *relurks*, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:45, archived)

It's ok as long as it's you who they're already in a relationship with.
It's quite good for it to be mutual.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:45, archived)

I like a bit of a struggle meself

( DarkSideOfTheSpoon is 100% back, for now anyway., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:45, archived)

it's alright as long as they've been dead around a week

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:45, archived)

Very much lots of the time, very much wrong.

( Hoohah Bibbly-bobbly-bubbly-snibbly wib-wib floppit., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:45, archived)

Perfectly fine if it's for fun
Completely different matter if you are hoping that they'll leave their partner- it generally won't happen.
Don't get too attached.
( Lord Gnome, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:45, archived)

So if your girlfriend shagged someone else, but told you it was just fun
you'd be fine with that?
( Hankster, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:46, archived)

"Calm daan mate, it were only a joke!"

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:47, archived)

Calm daan Just chiw
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:48, archived)

I love the dialectative re-spelling of Chill
to make Chiw.

Click!
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:49, archived)

Yeah!
Coow beanz mate! Coow beanz!

I'm going to stop now, before I do myself a horrendous injury
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:51, archived)

Yep
Doesn't bother me in the slightest.

[Edit] I should add that my original observation was from the point of view of a single person having a relationship with someone already attached. As long as you don't know their partner and are prepared to be quite callous and pragmatic then I say "go for it," though some background research into who exactly their partner is might be a good idea.
( Lord Gnome, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:47, archived)

i.e. not the girlfriend of a bare knuckle fighter
your p.o.v. shares some incredible reemblances to my current predicament
( prem1um is full of life, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:54, archived)

That's pretty much
What I was driving at- namely that he's not a violent psycho and that you aren't going to be putting your life in danger.
( Lord Gnome, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:01, archived)

no he's not.
/researcher blog
( prem1um is full of life, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:04, archived)

Up to you then
If you can cope with being constantly strung along with a series of false promises and constantly having your hopes built up and dashed then go ahead. I'm not saying that will happen but I would give it a minimum of 95% certainty.
( Lord Gnome, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:11, archived)

It ends up in PAIN.
But I can see your reasoning.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:56, archived)

Simply being prepared to do something doesn't make it right.
I never thought of "callous" as a particularly virtuous thing to be.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:57, archived)

It's not
I'm not talking about virtue- just that sometimes it can be best to end a relationship abruptly rather than drag things out and ultimately cause a lot more pain, both to yourself and the other party.
( Lord Gnome, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:06, archived)

not really sure it's your place
to end someone else's relationship in such a manner.

but I appreciate the compassionate sentiment.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:09, archived)

As the single party
The only relationship that you're ending is the one between you and the attached person. If they're going to stay attached and it's going to get emotionally messy then it's better to walk away. If their other relationship ends then that's not your problem- they should not have got involved in the first place and it would be their looking to have an affair that ended it- after all if it hadn't been you it would more than likely have been someone else.
( Lord Gnome, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 21:17, archived)

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:46, archived)

Wrong Wrong FUCKING WRONG!!!!! GRAHAHHAHAHAHHAH!!
/not bitter
( Wingnutt razzle dazzle my fantasmagazzle, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:45, archived)

Wrong
Leads only to heartache, no matter how "open" the relationship is.

/glad I'm married blog
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:46, archived)

wrong

( elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:46, archived)

Wrong

( iainiainiainiain, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:46, archived)

I'd say quite wrong
Unless it's purely sexual as your husband is in a wheelchair and can't sex you up but you still love him

/NYPD Blue
( viperrr mostly comes out at night, mostly, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:46, archived)

Depends who's banging the wives.
/ac
( Druid, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:46, archived)

Oh my...

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:50, archived)

If everyone involved knows everything
and they're all alright with it, then do as you please.
( Comma, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:47, archived)

Relationships are just wrong
I'm never going to have one ever again. I'm fucked off today because IT Guy doesnt fancy me.

He is still being really nice and friendly though.
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:47, archived)

im with you ruby
i quite like the name ruby too.
( prem1um is full of life, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:48, archived)

So,
just because someguy turned you down, you are NEVER ever going to have another one?
( Hankster, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:49, archived)

Yep
Not through choice, just through the general fat boring geekness of me.
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:51, archived)

You'll be fine
Some guys dig fat, geeky chicks.
( Hankster, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:53, archived)

Yeah but I generally don't like them
Or they turn out to be complete and utter wankers
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:54, archived)

Right you.
I have seen your picture, you are a pretty lady and still young.
Now stop being so pessimistic and get out there and have some fun.
Or you'll end up like me,having meaningless sex with a string of filthy women much younger than me to try and boost my sad middle aged ego.

Fuck yeah
GO ME!
*buys bright red sports car*
( Hankster, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:58, archived)

Heh too late
Last two guys where in excess of 5 years younger than me
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:59, archived)

Wrong.
In every way.
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:48, archived)

I've been the 'other woman'.
It wasn't fun.

I didn;t know his girlfriend at all. If I had have done, I would have never got involved in the first place. I certainly wouldn't have tried to be friends with the woman. As it was, they were on the brink of splitting up and I happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It was cheap, nasty and although fun at the time, it left me with a nasty taste in my mouth. Even if you do end up with them all to yourself, the relationship never lasts. the guilt eats you up inside, and you can never trust them.

Turns out that I didn't even love him, I was just a muppet.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:49, archived)

Also
If he's gonna cheat on his wife, what's to say he won't cheat on you next
( Hankster, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:50, archived)

This is why I couldn't trust him.
Especially on the internet. He wasn't married btw.

Plus, he was from SURREY. I'd have turned into a Stepford Wife.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:54, archived)

i take your points.
specially the never trust them bit
( prem1um is full of life, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:51, archived)

But I DID leave her though.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:51, archived)

You make me feel cheap and nasty but in such a good way.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:54, archived)

And Badger is going to burn his house down if he tries to chat me up ever again.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 20:52, archived)