Hello Lards and Lardesses.
Another early start at JMG Towers.
:(

How is the internet?
Give me your latest news.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:28, archived)

Racist.
Only not really, it's all an elaborate joke at the expense of bedwetting lefties such as yourself.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:28, archived)

but maybe
/plays piano and sings goodbye whilst being fired off a aircraft carrier.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:29, archived)

I heard people were racist and not funnylast night.
What's the news, there?
Racists on b3ta are never funny.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:30, archived)

This was a cunning satire JMG.
www.b3ta.com/talk/5102679
In solidarity with tragically misunderstood Sammi, I'm spending the day making jokes about the disabled.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:31, archived)

I don't actually see why it's any more offensive than the anti-gay campaign.

( TY&GN, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:31, archived)

There's an anti-Gay campaign?
Who's part of that?


/edit
So there's no anti-gay campaign?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:32, archived)

Everyone apart from mooey
Or so I hear.
( TY&GN, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:33, archived)

trolling trolling trolling

( mongychops, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:37, archived)

Moohalaa.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:33, archived)

The filthy gay.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:33, archived)

Nice double team.
Seamless.
( TY&GN, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:34, archived)

Pervert

( Theoban What of it, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:34, archived)

How about doing work in work?
Just a suggestion.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:35, archived)

Why?
Does it bother you, me being here?
( TY&GN, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:36, archived)

I'm sure it bothers your employers, you being useless and lazy.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:36, archived)

stop feeding the troll

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:37, archived)

HELLO SLAPPER.
But it's fun watching him to be all serious and grown up.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:38, archived)

HOOR
But he enjoys it :(
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:46, archived)

trolling trolling trolling

( mongychops, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:38, archived)

I have that song stuck in my head now, fuck you mongy.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:39, archived)

RAWHIDE

( mongychops, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:42, archived)

GARRRRHHHHH

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:43, archived)

actually, do you do any work?
you do seem to be here a lot. I don't mind, just curious is all.
( minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:40, archived)

trolling trolling trolling

( mongychops, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:38, archived)

trolling trolling trolling

( mongychops, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:37, archived)

light grey and dark grey should live together in perfect harmony

( spacefish bong!, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:38, archived)

/talk has seemed a bit poo the last couple of days
Are you, JMG, able to resolve this situation?
( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:29, archived)

On the plus side...
There has been a lot of stuff being shoved RIGHT up cocks.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:30, archived)

Shove your lot of stuff being shoved RIGHT up cocks RIGHT up your cock

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:32, archived)

As a leading /talkologist...
...I can tell you that every JMG thread improves the standard of /talk by at least 3%, reduces carbon emissions and causes a combined weight loss of 56 kilos due to fat and spotty types quivering with rage at his presence.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:30, archived)

Does it?
thought it just came across as postings from a twat.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:40, archived)

You're having a go a me now, because you're deaf, you scrounging cunt.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:41, archived)

I see someone
Who isn't feeling the love today.
( Lord Gnome, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:42, archived)

I do feel the love
just not the point of the posts.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:46, archived)

I've probably distanced myself and allowed Club Misery to take over a bit.
I'll punch one of them later with my mental superiority.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:31, archived)

My eyes itch and my nose is runny

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:29, archived)

God, my eyes aren't working properly this morning.
I read the last bit of that as "my mum's a tranny".
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:41, archived)

lazily contemplating a hangover wank but the curtains are open

(hot white cum, YEAH! i will show you 0wnage in a handful of posts, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:29, archived)

And, if you're hungover, you're dehydrated
don't do it.
( TY&GN, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:32, archived)

in case I end up ejaculating my shrivelled up insides in a small puff of dust?
I'll take my chances thanks
(hot white cum, YEAH! i will show you 0wnage in a handful of posts, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:34, archived)

I'm going to work
I'll finish at 22.30.

Bye!
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:30, archived)

I am going to see lovely flats with the lovely Noit today.
They better let me have a kitten in it, the bastards.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:30, archived)

Ooh best of luck

(Psycho Eyes, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:31, archived)

Fankoo.
Fuck parking, I want a cat.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:31, archived)

If necessary, the cat can live in the car.
PARKING BECOMES THE PRIORITY.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:34, archived)

I think we should get a caravan.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:36, archived)

You get a caravan, I'll get a flat.
You can park yours outside of mine.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:37, archived)

excellent way to dispell any myths about the Irish all being pikeys

( minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:37, archived)

I know, I'm a one-woman international relations board, me.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:38, archived)

DON'T LET YOUR WOMANLY INSTINCTS SPOIL THE HOUSE PICKING!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:33, archived)

BUT JMG, KITTTTTTENN!!!

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:33, archived)

Lots of places won't allow pets, you'll have a hard time if you mention it
I would recommend lying through your teeth and never mentioning the existence of a cat.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:34, archived)

I think I may do this, then.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:36, archived)

Hello JMG
This is the last day of my current job so I plan to spend the entire day skiving. That'll show the bastards.
Except when people need help with things.
(Psycho Eyes, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:30, archived)

Did you get the other job, or are you going to bum about for a bit?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:31, archived)

I haven't got one yet.
Still searching but I've got another interview on Monday.
(Psycho Eyes, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:31, archived)

Cool beans, good luck! I hope the weather stays nice for your bumming around time.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:32, archived)

I hear she loves bumming, that Psycho Eyes.
morning girls!
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:33, archived)

HERRO.
I had a dream about my cat Pixie, oh I miss Pixie:(
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:34, archived)

aww kittin.
I would send you Nancy to hug, but she's a spiteful bitch.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:35, archived)

pffft that she is

(Psycho Eyes, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:36, archived)

Pixie can be a bitch when she wants to be. She attacks legs in the hall.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:37, archived)

hee hee
Nancy does this, ninja-ing from a big Primark bag.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:39, archived)

Haha.
Cats love bags. My older one still plays with them, only thing she does play with now. Apart from live prey.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:41, archived)

FILTH
Morning Spangles
(Psycho Eyes, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:34, archived)

hai hai

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:36, archived)

around time
( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:34, archived)

do you get to bring in board games?

( spacefish bong!, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:36, archived)

umm no
Should I have?
(Psycho Eyes, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:39, archived)

I doubt kids do that any more
I imagine it's all games consoles now.
( Lord Gnome, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:41, archived)

Normally this would be a 'hooray it's Friday' day
However it's a 'boo it's Friday and I'm working all weekend' day.

AND getting up at 5am tomorrow morning. Nuts.

Here ends all my news. Which isn't really news.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:30, archived)

Bloody hell, there's a 5am on a Saturday?!

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:37, archived)

I'm usually going to bed around then
This week, getting up for work. DO NOT WANT
( Theoban What of it, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:39, archived)

Set fire to it.
All of it.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:43, archived)

That'll kill a lot of nerds
I like your idea.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:47, archived)

I am FULL of them.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:48, archived)

I have fruit.
And am sleeeeepy. But it's Friday. Oh yes.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:33, archived)

Hurrah for Friday!

(Psycho Eyes, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:34, archived)

I have read epic poetry
does this mean that I, Captain Wow, can feel smug for a bit?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:33, archived)

What kind?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:33, archived)

The Rubaiyat.
If it's not epic, it's just really, really, really long.

I also feel sick, but that's nothing to do with the poetry, I've just felt sick every bloody morning this week.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:35, archived)

Preggerrrrrs.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:39, archived)

Hmmm. I hope not, I can't really afford captainlets at the moment.
If I am, I'm only going to be *counts* two weeks gone at the most.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 9:43, archived)