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When women are having babies on telly
I sometimes turn it down so that my lodger doesn't think I'm watching porn
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:20, archived)
thats why i have headphones
porn as loud as i want it
(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:21, archived)
lol cup ot tea on bedside table

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:22, archived)
nah, i put that on top of the tv, out of the way incase i kick it when my leg spasms out
at vingar strokes
(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:24, archived)
ahh a dose of `kicking the dog`

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:24, archived)
drop kicking it more like

(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:25, archived)

What if someone burst into your room!? You'd never know!!!

unless you live alone and/or with a lock on the bedroom door
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:22, archived)
Surely if you live alone
You don't need headphones for porn.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:22, archived)
neighbours, and thin walls

(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:24, archived)
Who cares about them?

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:25, archived)

Cue disgusted looks when they know fine I was watching rape porn the previous night...
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:26, archived)
You deserve disgusted looks for watching that

(I helped save b3ta! Malaka omdz, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:28, archived)
i do, they are old and always say hi when im putting the washing out
or putting the rubbish out
(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:26, archived)
Fair enough
I only know one of my neighbours and they live on the ground floor.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:26, archived)
they are typical valley grannies, scrubbing their doorsteps clean
and gossiping, and then there is me, awkward loud monotone sounding mr english,

frotting off to porn with my headphones as they natter the otherside of the netcurtains
(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:28, archived)
What a lovely image

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:30, archived)
im gurning loads as well, then i shout at the mirror, dont look at me!

(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:32, archived)
hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Malaka omdz, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:37, archived)
i cant be the only one to do this, can i
EDIT:

reminds me of this

www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/460714
(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:38, archived)
Brilliant

(I helped save b3ta! Malaka omdz, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:50, archived)
lock on door, maybe i want them to burst in on me

(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:23, archived)
so you can burst over them

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:25, archived)
adds to the suprise,
*like being shot with a shotgun in slow mo*
Noooooooooooooooooooooo!
(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:27, archived)
COWJAM MUST'VE POSTED
I'm watching holby city too.
(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:22, archived)
I'm not watching it
but the remote is all the way over there, and I'm eating cold chips and cold curry sauce at my desk
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:23, archived)
Does it matter if he/she does?

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:22, archived)
Yes
She's a bit religious and I wouldn't want to offend her
I may be anti religion, but that doesn't mean I lack respect for those who are deluded

*seriouses*
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:24, archived)
Tell her she should have more respect for those who enjoy watching porn.

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:27, archived)
God loves it
after all he made us in his image and I love porn.
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:30, archived)
What about when you are watching porn?

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:23, archived)
I like playing porn very loudly if I have to call anywhere important
like banks and stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:23, archived)
I utterly love
HOW unrealistic this is. It makes me laugh lots.
(I helped save b3ta! icklepeach *relurks*, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:23, archived)
are you watching holby?
I'm a Patient Safety Administrator, my division covers maternity. I keep thinking stuff like "that'll be a fun incident form", "I hope she elected to be on her back", etc.

)c:
(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:40, archived)
haha.
I'm electing for a home birth. I thought "if the baby is crowning then get her back on all fours!"

8 weeks and 3 days to go :D
(I helped save b3ta! icklepeach *relurks*, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:46, archived)
Yay! Congrats!

(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:50, archived)
Put some porn on full blast,
so she thinks you're having a baby.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:23, archived)
Hehe
I lolled
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:25, archived)
or making one

(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:25, archived)
One of my flatmates watches porn VERY LOUDLY when his girlfriend's not here.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:24, archived)
Out moan him

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:25, archived)
Should not be difficult.

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:25, archived)
I don't think I could concentrate
if I knew someone was wanking less than 10 feet away from me
(I helped save b3ta! Malaka omdz, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:25, archived)
never do group sex then

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:27, archived)
or come to my house for dinner

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:31, archived)
bit lumpy this bread sauce.

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:33, archived)
Is it the porn that's very loud or him?

(I helped save b3ta! nick the greek, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:27, archived)
he has the volume on of porn
but on the telly there is a picture of the pope.
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:28, archived)
He's a very loud sexer too. It's very uncomfortable-making.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:29, archived)
tea whilst thats on
The spoon just moves about in the jar and he screams `yeeeehaaa` just as I pour in the milk.

I cannot eat yogurt whilst this is happening either.
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:31, archived)
I spent a couple of weeks
kipping on my boss's sofa. She was going out with my supervisor. They had very noisy sex. Work was a bit... odd.

edit: and she had to shout at him in order for him to come, or he wouldn't. I'd be woken up by her shouting "COME YOU BASTARD!".
(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:34, archived)
Did it work?

(I helped save b3ta! Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:39, archived)
I can only presume it did
or she wouldn't do it just once on the majority of occasions when I heard them.
(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 20:41, archived)